Chapter Fourteen: Post Partum

Man's feelings are always purest and most glowing in the hour of meeting and of farewell.
~Jean Paul Richter

"I think she has your eyes," Ianto commented softly. It was hard to see much in the dark, but Seren definitely seemed to have big bright blue eyes. Of course a lot of babies were born with blue eyes… but he was sure she would have her Papa's eyes even when she got older. He said as much aloud.

"Yeah," Jack agreed, "I think you're right." They were sitting up in bed, propped against the pillows that were plumped up between their backs and headboard.

Jack leant his head on the younger man's shoulder. He was holding the bottle for the child cradled in Ianto's arms… he had never shared moments like this with Roan. Jason.

He hadn't even shared moments like this with Laura, although her Victorian sensibilities were probably as much to blame as anything else, he reckoned. She hadn't been nearly as uptight as many of her contemporaries (and Jack could attest to first hand knowledge that the Victorians weren't half as straight laced as it seemed they'd wanted to appear), but there were certain things she never would have tolerated and her husband hovering over while she breast fed was high up on the list.

Jack snuggled in closer glad to be out of that era. Glad to be here and not caring where 'here' happened to be just so long as it was with the young man he was laying next to. "She has your nose, I think," he said to his partner. "Your chin, too. Probably just as well. This chin wouldn't look very good on a girl," he grinned.

He smiled; he leant over and kissed his partner's clef chin. "It could be worse."

"I thought you liked my chin!" Jack cried out with feigned hurt.

Ianto laughed, which make Seren fuss. "I love your chin, Cariad," he said in a gentle tone, so as not to upset her any more. "I'm just not sure it would look at all right on a girl."

Jack closed his eyes; it was three o'clock in the morning. They were both tired, but he had been more tired than usual since coming home from the clinic. As soon as he felt her stop drinking, he eased the empty bottle away from Seren. She was already half asleep as well.

Ianto remembered to grab a cloth before lifting their daughter to his shoulder this time.

Jack flashed a rueful grin, remembering that last time Ianto had burped her; he'd forgotten, or maybe hadn't thought he needed, the cloth to protect his shoulder. The younger man had ended up with regurgitated formula all down his back.

"That wasn't funny," the other said, fully understanding his partner's laugh.

"Yes it was," he eased himself out of bed and took the bottle into the kitchen. He'd only been home a week and even with his propensity to heal quickly, he was still a little tender around the middle. He wondered if he'd have a scar… if he did, it would be minimal. If he was really that uncomfortable having it, he knew there was always that cosmetic surgeon Bobby said he knew… although it would certainly be interesting to explain.

He smiled to himself as he came back into the bedroom. Ianto was just getting their daughter settled back down, hopefully for the rest of the night. So far, she was as punctual as her Tad. She fussed every three hours, looking for food. A diaper change. Lots of cuddles from both of her fathers.

Jack slipped up behind the younger man and wrapped his arms around his waist. "Happy?" he asked. He leant over, tucking the blanket more snugly around his daughter. She was so incredibly beautiful… They were going to be in so much trouble when she got older.

"Happier than I've ever been," Ianto's voice was soft in the dark.

Jack's smile deepened. "We are pretty good together, aren't we?" his tone was so sincere…

The younger man turned in his arms. Jack's expression was difficult to read. He'd been odd the last couple of days. It wasn't bad… Ianto attributed it to the hormones, mostly. He still had a few more weeks of taking them, weaning his body back to its normal levels. Basha had warned him to expect continued moodiness in the older man, but he couldn't help but wonder if there wasn't something more to Jack's moods than could be attributed to his hormone levels.

He brushed his lips against his partner's mouth, savouring the softness of his Captain's kiss. "Very good together, I think," he replied. He didn't at all mind this version of Jack… sentimental. Soft. He really seemed to need him. "You… balance me out." Ianto told him.

Jack laughed. "I think most people would say that's the other way around, Sweetheart."

"It's true, though," he pulled his partner back into bed, arranging them so Jack was curled up against him. "I can be so… steady. I like to play things safe… it's true," he said to the incredulous look that crossed the older man's face. "I haven't always had the luxury, but it is my preference, Cariad," he brushed a stray bit of hair off Jack's forehead. "But when I'm with you, I have the courage to do things that I never would have dreamed I could do. You make me… whole. I never even knew I wasn't whole until I met you."

"What if I hadn't come back?"

"What?"

"What if… if I hadn't… figured it out… what if I hadn't come back to you?"

Ianto hid his frown as best as he could. "I would have muddled through, I suppose," he shifted a little, getting more comfortable. "I probably would have slept with Aaron… ten minutes of my life I would never have gotten back."

Jack chuckled at the tone in his voice. He pressed on, however. "I'm serious," he said.

"So am I. I was only seeing him because I was lonely."

"Yan…"

"What is it? What's really bothering you?"

"I… nothing. Just… this time. It's too close to my own time… I remember some of the things I did here. There. Eighty years from now." He shrugged. "I'm not proud of who I was."

"I know. But that was a long time ago. The man you are today is somebody you can be proud of. You're somebody I'm proud of. The past doesn't matter."

"Doesn't it? Someday the Time Agency will catch up with me…"

"And when they do, we'll deal with it. Together."

He looked up at the younger man who was holding onto him. He could have sworn it was usually him being the so-called 'strong one', doling out reassurances whenever Ianto needed them… but somewhere along the line he really had come to rely on his young Welshman as much as he was sure Ianto relied on him.

"We're good together," the younger man said again, seeming to understand the look on his partner's face.

Jack nodded and curled tighter into his chest… it was probably just the hormonal imbalance making him feel so emotionally out of it lately. By the time they got back home, he knew he would be fine. Whatever happened, they'd deal with it together.

……………………………………………………………..

"I can't believe how big she's gotten!" Suki cried, lifting Seren from the blanket on the floor. "Are you sure she's only three months old?" she cast an accusatory look at the baby's fathers.

Ianto chuckled, serving the coffee to their guests. "Yes, quite, thank you."

"We're going to miss you so much," said Suki, then. She laid Seren back down so she could take her cup.

"You mean you're going to miss his coffee," Jaeka teased her, setting their five month old son, Ryan, down on the blanket next to Seren; he was getting to be quite a handful so all three of Ryan's parents took up spots on the living room floor so they could corral him if need be.

Jack grinned at Jaeka's comment. "The coffee is why I married him."

"I thought it was the suit!"

"I'm allowed to change my mind."

Ianto rolled his eyes and settled onto the floor with the other adults and the two children. "We're going to miss you too," he said.

The Doctor would be arriving to take them home tomorrow, nearly one year to the day from when he'd dropped them off… looking at the trio sitting around the blanket, drinking his coffee… laughing at one of Jack's silly jokes… he felt like he was finally comfortable and now it was time to leave…

Jack laid a hand on his leg and Ianto laid his on top of it, twining his fingers into his partner's.

"At least say you'll come back and visit us some time," Jaeka pleaded.

"If we're ever in the neighbourhood, I promise, we'll look you up," Jack answered for them.

Ianto was just as glad. He could feel his throat closing up a bit again. It had been so long since he'd had friends that weren't co-workers… still, who else would understand my life?

By this time tomorrow, they would be home.