Just a Shell
Chapter Three
When Donatello went back to see how his brothers were doing, they had finished off the food. He smiled a bit from relief, it there had been anything left he may have proved Raphael right then and there. He was so hungry he couldn't stand it, but he hoped it would pass. After a bit more TV watching they figured they should go back to the lab since Casey and April where going out and, obviously, they couldn't go with.
After saying goodbye to the two of them, the team headed back to their home for the rest of the night. It was about six when they arrived home, and Donnie headed straight for his lab so he wouldn't be tempted by the kitchen. He sighed and walked over to the motor he was designing to Raphael, it was just started, so it was mostly parts.
It was only fifteen minutes later that he heard someone knock on the door. He turned and saw Leonardo standing at the door, which was open. He always left it open, no one ever really knocked anyway.
"Hey Leo." He said, leaning against the table Raphael's new motor was on. "What's up?"
He already knew what Leonardo was there for. He had been thinking about it all day. Last night while they were talking he had said he was going to come talk to him today about it. Donatello didn't want to have to talk about it, he already knew what the problem was and he was going to fix it.
"I just wanted to make sure you were coming to practice later." Leo said, trying not to hurt his brothers feelings. He knew Raphael was just overreacting, and told him so last night before they went to bed, but he should still talk to Donnie about it, right? "I mean, you can't skip out again."
"I won't, don't worry." Donatello said. He didn't bring up the extra training he'd been doing, it felt like it wasn't enough anyway. "I'm sorry for missing it yesterday, I got distracted."
"It's fine." Leo said, nodding his head to try to show Donnie it wasn't a big deal. "So what are you working on?"
"Raphael said his bike was too slow, so I'm trying to make it go faster and work out a few kinks." Don said, smiling. He liked being able to help out, even if it was something as small as that bike.
"That's cool, what are you going to do to it?"
"Make it lighter." Donatello said, looking at the motor. "That'll make it much better, I think.""Well that makes sense." Leo said, obviously loosing interest now. Don just looked back at the motor and then over o Leo.
"I'm really sorry about practice yesterday." he said, trying to show Leo how sincere he was. "I didn't mean to make anyone angry."
"It's fine, Raph was really the only one mad, and that wasn't about you." Leo said, looking up from the motor as he recalled how many times Raph had messed up during practice, but he didn't mention that to Donnie. "But what if Splinter attacked and we weren't all at our best, you know? We need to be able to watch each others backs no matter what, even if we don't want to train every day."
"I understand." Donatello said, crossing his arms insecurely. He didn't like being thought of as the weak link. "I won't do it again."
Leonardo smiled, thinking the matter was finished. He didn't notice his brothers averted eyes, as he headed out of the lab to go check on his other brothers. He also didn't notice when Donatello followed him out, and started to the dojo. He wanted to get in just a bit more training before the others showed up.
He needed to warm up. He and his brothers all trained with Splinter once a day, and he didn't want to mess up and have them say things about him again. He had 'warmed up' for about an hour before the real training started. Of course, his warm up had been more extreme then their normal training even would have been. His brothers looked surprised that he was the first one there, but didn't say anything. How were they supposed to know he had been here for an hour now?
"We looked for you in your lab." Leo said, smiling. He must have been happy that Donatello showed up early. Donnie just smiled.
"I just came early." he said, not letting them know he'd been practicing. He didn't know why he didn't want to tell them, he just didn't want to. Something held him back. Maybe secretly he knew this was going too far, but he didn't let that part of his head register.
"Let us get started then?" Splinter asked, smiling at the young turtles.
Practice went as normal. First they warmed up, then they started actual training. Mostly exercises, some shadow-fighting, and some practice against each other. Donatello mostly lost, though he held his ground pretty well. He beat Mikey once, and Raph once as well, but they both creamed him enough to make up for it, and he didn't stand a chance against Leo. He felt like he was going to die by the end of practice, having already trained so much before. His brothers didn't know that, however.
"Common Donie! You're bettah then this!" Raph yelled when Donatello fell after a kick from Michelangelo. He was coated with sweat, he could barely stand. It was the fifth fight in a row. "Get up!"
Don nodded and tried to stand, but fell back to his knees instantly. Mikey stopped fighting, none of his brothers would hit any other when they were down. It was just practice, after all.
"That's enough." Splinter said, nodding. "Let's all take a break."
"I don't…need… a break." Donatello said between gasps. His brothers just looked at his with disbelief. He looked down, embarrassed at his failing.
"I'll get him some water." Leonardo said, ignoring Donatello's words. Mikey walked over and offered his hand, which Don took without looking up.
They sat him down on a bench while he drank the water. He didn't like being treated like such a weakling, but he was the one who couldn't stand. He hated it. An apology made it's way to his lips, but he didn't even start because he realized just how much he'd been apologizing lately, which made him feel even weaker.
"Don't worry about it." Leo said, obviously understanding what Donatello was feeling. "That was, like, six fights in a row. Anyone would be tired."
"Anyone but you guys…" Donatello said without thinking about it.
No one tried to correct him, since they had all fought just as many times against each other. Why was it so much harder for him? Donatello sighed and gulped down a bit more water while Splinter announced that practice was over for the day. His brothers didn't leave, they stayed by his side. He felt like a complete weakling. The fact that he was already drained from not eating and exercising beforehand didn't factor into his logic anymore.
A while past and Don assured everyone that he was fine. They left to go do their own thing, leaving Donatello alone in the dojo. Leo stayed for a bit longer then the other two, worried about the purple-sashed ninja, but Donnie didn't feel like talking. He turned down a snack and opted to stay in the dojo. Leo nodded and took the hint to leave, and though it took Don awhile before he was able to get back on his feet, he instantly went back to training once he could. Splinter and the others where gone, but he could practice by himself. He had a one-track mind. He had to be as strong as his brothers, or he'd be cast aside.
'I already might as well be a ghost in this family anyway.' he told himself, thinking of all the times he was pushed into the background. 'They'd be better off without me holding them back.'
He sighed, taking some breaths after practicing his flips for the tenth time. He was getting dizzy, and he felt like he was about to fall, but he kept his balance.
"You're still in here?" he heard from behind him. Don turned, and Raph was standing against the doorway, watching him.
"How long have you been there?" Donatello asked, surprised. He didn't like being watched very much.
"Since you tripped during that back flip awhile back…" Raphael said, looking him over. "What's wrong with you, Donnie? You're really off today."
"I don't know, man." Don said with a sigh. He lowered his bo. "I keep screwing up. I don't know what's wrong with me."
"Take a break." Raphael suggested. "You need it after getting your butt handed to you."
Donatello knew it was a joke, and smiled a bit to hide what a blow that was to his pride. He hated the way Raph was treating him. Even if he was weaker then normal.
"I'm gonna train for just a little while longer, then I'll go to sleep." he told his brother, lifting his staff again. "A little extra training never hurt."
"How's the Shellcycle?" Raph asked, not knowing what else to say.
"Dude, you just trashed the engine, like, a week ago. I'm good with technology, but I'm not a miracle worker." He smiled and stretched a bit. He needed to, anyway, after four hours of non-stop exercise. "I'm working on it."
"Sorry for trashin' it." Raphael said. Donatello just laughed a bit. Raph broke everything at some point or another.
"It's fine." Don said, itching to get back to training, but he couldn't force himself while his brother was standing right there, watching him.
Raphael was thrown off for a second, not sure whether to take it as a blessing that he wasn't getting yelled at, or to worry that something was seriously wrong. Donatello always at least had a lecture ready for him when he crashed his creations.
"That's it?" He asked, quirking his eyebrow-- or where an eyebrow would be if there were hair there.
"Far be it for me to call you a hothead… again." Donnie joked, though his heart wasn't in it. He wanted to train.
"You okay, Donnie?" He asked, genuinely concerned. He didn't like it when things where abnormal, and Donatello was acting pretty strange.
"I'm fine." his brother replied, picking up his staff. "Just wanna practice, you know? I've been pretty pathetic with my training today."
Raphael shrugged and turned away from Donatello, ready to go eat. After a second he turned back around.
"Wanna spar? I'm bored anyway." he offered, since his brother seemed so interested in training anyway.
Donatello thought about it for a moment before shaking his head. He didn't need to be embarrassed again, even if it was just the two of them. He already knew Raphael was better then him, he didn't need to be reminded by having his butt handed to him in a fight (again).
"No thanks, I'm just gonna practice for, like, twenty minutes." he lied. He planned to practice well into the night. Raphael just shrugged and walked away, wondering about his brother.
A/N: Sorry this chapter was so late! I meant to mention LAST chapter that I was going to an Anime Convention, but I figured this chapter would be out before I left, but I was wrong. ; Sorry about that. Also, sorry I think this chapter is a few paragraphs shy of what I normally do but I hit a wall, so hopefully the next chapter will make up for it! Okays! Review review review! 3 Thank you for all of the positive feedback, by the way! It really helps put a fire under my bum and keep updating! I'm sorry if you get this chapter more then once in your emails, by the way. There were some REALLY BAD errors I had to correct (I put Splinter instead of Shredder once, which made me freak out and have to erase the chapter and replace it. XD)