Fat

A/N:This is a totally awesome pairing that I just randomly thought of out of no where! Actually, I think it was to try an quial the anger brewing inside of my after Chris Jericho got "fired." So, yeah, I'm just hoping he really isn't fired.

Disclaimer:I do not own nor Chris Jericho.(Damn I gotta get better lawyers!) I also do not own the WWE or anything in this story, except the plot.

/Chris Jericho

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Chris sat in his hotel room, brooding with his head in his hands. A pout was planted firmly on his face while his eyes stared tear-shaped holes in the plush, red carpet. How could he say that?! That is just so not polite on every freakin level!

The scene ran over and over again in Chris's head.

Chris popped another piece of brownie into his mouthe, which was already chewing on half of a sugar cookie. He swallowed the deserts and took a long, hardy swig of chocolate milk from his fridge. Well, actually, it was his friend Cody's fridge, but he really didn't care. Already, half of the sweets in the fridge were gone, which included three large cupcakes, a package of donuts, and some cheesecake.

Behind the Canadian, Cody & Ted stood awe-struck at their friend, though Cody seemed more angry than anything. Those were his deserts, damnit! It seemed as though steam was pouring from Cody's head from the fire boiling in the pit of his stomach.

Chris, after devouring a piece of pie, finally noticed the figures behind him and turned, blueberry filling dripping from his mouthe. He gave an a awkward smile that was covered in sugar stains,"H-heyyah guys...W-what's up...?"

Cody glared,"What's up? What's up?! You ate half of my freakin' desert fridge, that's what's up! It took me years to find the perfect sweets to put in there, and now you ate them! You fat pig, I'm gonna murder you!!" Cody lunged at Jericho, who yelped and backed away quickly, but was held back by Ted.

Chris sprinted out the door in a flash of fear, but the words still played back in his mind. 'You fat pig!'

The Canadian stomped his foot at his thoughts,"I am not a fat pig!" Chris peered down at his exposed stomach just to prove it, but what he saw was not so great. He did notice that he was gaining some weight. When he weighed himself today, the scale read 6 pounds more than usual. And the way his belly slightly pooched out didn't even concern him until now. Damn you Cody, you made me fat!

Chris jumped up off of his bed and through on a shirt before grabbing his gym bag and a bottled water and storming out his door, slamming it shut. I'll show him! Next time he sees me, I'll be ten - no - twenty pounds lighter!

The gym, three hours later

OhMyGod someone kill me now! The Canadian panted heavily from three straight hours of working out on the treadmill. Sweat stained his work out t-shirt and basketball shorts, causing a horrible odor to surround him. He'd already gone through five bottles of water, supplied by the cooler conveniantly located next to the treadmill.

Chris's leg felt like mush ready to collapse at anytime. They burned and ached and pained, but Chris just kept going. There was no way he'd stay fat!

The humming of the TV above him and the conversations of the other gym patrons kept him focusing on everything other than his aching body. But, with his luck, something was bound to happen, which it did.

Next to him, two little 7 year old boys snickered evilly. Each held an opened bottle of water, not even drinking. Chris tried to ignore them, but couldn't help but think something bad was going to happen. And he was right. The blonde boy took one step forward and pretended to stumble, spilling his water on the treadmill floor. The other blonde tossed his water on the treadmill to "help" his friend up, both about to break out into laughter.

Chris noticed this and tried to stop running only to slip on the water and fall backwards onto the treadmill before the moving bottom rolled him off onto the floor. The little boys laughed loudly before dashing off, knowing that if they'd stay around they'd be dead.

The Canadian whimpered and held his head in his hands as he sat up. He looked at his literally burning red legs and felt the growing bump on the back of his head,"Owie!"

"Hey! Are you ok?!"

Chris looked up with teary eyes to see Ken Kennedy rushing over to him with two bottled waters in hand. He stopped infront of Chris and bent down,"Chris, what happened?!"

Chris sniffled childishly,"W-well, I came to the gym because C-cody told me that I was f-fat.....And I've b-been here for three hours working out o-on the treadmill.......B-but two little boys came and ma-made me s-slip and then you came over an-and then this...!"

Ken lay a hand on his friend's shoulder,"Chris, your not fat, your just chubby, that's all. And besides, working out for that long can totally murder your body! Why don't I just get you some ice and take you to get some ice cream?"

The Canadian wiped his eyes,"Low fat sherbert?"

"If it makes you feel any better, sure."

"Yeah, thanks Ken! You're the best!"

The Ice Cream Parlor

Chris chomped down on cherry sherbert childishly, licking the spoon clean after every bite. Right now, he didn't feel fat or ashamed or anything else like that, just pure excitment.

Ken chuckled at his friends across the booth as he took another bite of his lime & orange sherbert mix. He'd never really gotten to know Chris, much less eat with him, so this was going to be a learning experience,"So, uhm, Chris, why would Cody call you fat anyway?"

"Well," chomp,"I kinda," lick,"Ate his entire," slurp,"Desert fridge! So he," bite,"Called me fat and I ran off," Chris took another big bite of his sherbert,"So, yeah, that's what happened."

Ken raised an eyebrow,"So, why did you eat his entire desert fridge in the first place?"

Chris shrugged,"I don't know. I guess that since it was there for the taking, I might as well have taken-or more accurately eaten-it."

"So, you just did it on impulce?"

"Yeah. That's what I always do when I see sweets, I just eat them....! W-wait a second, that's not good..."

Ken nodded,"You're right, it's n-"

Chris stabbed his spoon into what was left of his sherbert,"I am fat! Or atleast I'm going to be! This is so not fair!"

Ken was taken aback by the sudden outburst,"Chris! You are not fat, nor will you ever be!"

The Canadian stood up and out of the booth,"Shut up Ken, you know it's true! In a few years I'll be a bloated up Canadian with sexy hair and an awesome smile, but no one will ever see it because I'll be too busy sucking up pumpkin pie like a vacuum!" So then, Chris ran off to the bathroom to sulk.

One of the waitresses went up to Ken, her blonde pigtails bouncing along with her,"Is he gonna be okay?"

"I have no idea....."

Men's Bathroom

"Chriiiiii~~~s? Chris, where are you?" Ken called, taking a quick scan of the open bathroom. The sinks were a beautiful light yellow, and the walls were light blue, making the pink floor contrasted. The stalls were a rainbow of light colors, from orange to purple. Even the urinals were a nice shade of lavender,"Chris? Come on man, it smells like honey & roses in here, I hate it!"

Ken ducked down onto his stomach and looked under each of the stalls. Across the room, he saw a pair of black Etnies, and he knew they belonged to Chris. Slowly, he crawled army style over to the stall door and ducked his head under the stall door, finding Chris weeping on the floor next to the toilet,"Chris!"

The Canadian looked up, shokced,"K-Ken?! Go away! Just let me brood in peace!"

"Oh no you don't! Either I come in or you come out! Which is it gonna be?"

"No! Go away!"

"Fine, be that way!" Ken got up off of the floor and grabbed a hold on the top of the stall door. He swung his feet up and over the edge until he felt the toilet head and tried to pull himself onto the other side. Unfortunitally, his feet weren't well enough on the head and they slipped off, causing him to fall face first into the toilet bowl. Ken quickly lifted his head out of the water and spat at the wall, wiping his eyes vigerously,"Ew! God that is disgusting!"

Chris, finding this quite comical, was laughing his butt off, holding his sides tightly,"Ahahaha! Ken, you're too much!"

Ken glared at his friend,"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, Ken is just so clumsy. Ken is such a n00b. Ken can't even get into a locked bathroom stall without humiliating himself. I get it, I get it!"

"Actually Ken, I know this mad, but I never locked the door. You could've gotten in just by opening it."

"Oh." Ken rubbed the back of his head awkwardly,"My bad."

Chris started to giggle a little bit at the embarassed answer, making Ken chuckle before it broke out into an all out laugh fest. Both men's eyes teared up with happiness. Nothing was stopping this moment!.....Well, except the lack of oxygen from their lungs....

Chris finally stopped after forever, gasping for air,"W-wow! I've n-never been so happy in m-my life!"

Ken nodded, also looking for oxygen,"M-me either!"

Finally, after both men composed theirselves, they lifted themselves off the ground, giving each other a big manhug.

Chris smiled at his friend,"Thanks Ken. You really do know how to cheer a guy up."

"Don't mention it, Chris, really. It's nothing really."

"No no no, I really want to formally thank you for being so nice to me. I'm pretty sure no one else would have helped me in this time of need."

Ken grinned,"I'm sure lots of people would have. But, I wanted to prove that you weren't fat, Chris. You're not! You are just beautiful the way you are. Chubby and adorable."

Chris blushed at his friend's compliment,"You really think I'm adorable?"

"Yeah! Your adorable and fun and awesome!"

"T-thanks Ken." Chris lowered his head slightly, trying to hide his ever growning blush,"No one has ever called me adorable before. Well, other than my fans of course."

Now it was Ken's turn to blush. Chris just looked so cute, with his shyness and all,"I can't understand why. You're, like, the cutest, nost wonderful person I've ever met. I can't believe no one else hasn't called you adorable."

"Well, I guess they never noticed it like you have."

Ken lifted Chris's head with his hand and looked him staright in the eyes,"I'm glad I noticed it." And with that, he planted a soft kiss on Chris's lips.

Without hesitation, the Canadian returned the kiss, his blush going full force. They both melted into the kiss like they were ice cream on a hot day.

Wow, this is amazing! I can't believe this is happening! To me, chris Jericho, of all people!

Ken pulled back slightly,"Dang Chris, I'm really glad I helped you now!"

Chris chuckled,"Me too."

"Hey, wanna go pay our bill and head back to the hotel?"

Chris gave him a sly look,"Alright, but you're paying. I'll just repay you at the hotel."

Ken licked his lips,"It's a deal."

The End!

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A/N

Me (video taping the event through my secret floor hideaway):That's right, you better repay him Chris! I need some new footage!

Sara (walks up behind me):What the Hell are you doing?!

Me:Video taping slash! What's it look like?!

Sara:Oh, let me watch too!

Matt (How random.):Oh brother....Well, see you later people! R&R please!