Just a Shell

Chapter 10

It was two months later, and Donatello was in his lab. He hadn't improved much, though he was walking without getting dizzy, which was a plus. Leonardo had stayed true to his plans to make sure Donnie ate, in front of him, at least once a day. He tried not to force Don, or make him feel awkward, so some days his younger brother didn't eat much more then a piece of bread, but he was doing much better then the first week or two, were Don would run away whenever presented with food.

There were rules, after he ate. He wasn't allowed to leave the lair, and he always had to be with one of his brothers for at least an hour. There were problems, obviously. He was always compelled to gag himself, and some days he would run off and do so. It never passed under his brother's notice, especially Leo, but his eldest brother always attempted to make him feel okay about it. He always basically said that it wasn't okay, they'd try again tomorrow, and try to make him feel better. It wasn't the same lecture he expected, and at first he wondered why. Then he found all of these pamphlets on how to deal with a family member with an eating disorder in Leo's room.

So all in all, Donnie was doing… okay. But he still had the same emotions. He felt weak, fat, and he didn't want to be near his brothers. Being forced to after meals was hard. He loved them, but he never knew how to act.

To top it all of, Donatello had figured out what was wrong with Mikey. At first Mikey seemed normal, but he ate a lot. Much more than he used to, and Michelangelo had always been something of a glutton. He'd gained weight, not enough for his brothers to notice, but weight-obsessed Donnie had. He ate all the time, and he tried to hide it, which made Donnie even more suspicious. Some nights when Donnie couldn't sleep he'd hear Mikey in the kitchen. Then there were never any wrappers, so he figured he was overreacting, but he decided to tell Leonardo anyway. His older brother looked less then surprised.

"You're right." Leo said, drinking some coffee. "I was hoping you wouldn't find out, but… Well, I think Mike has some sort of…"

He stopped himself, and Donatello rolled his eyes.

"Binge eating disorder." He said, sitting down. "It's all right, I've seen all your brochures."

Leo sighed and looked away.

"Sorry. I needed something." He said. "But yeah, that's what I think's gotten into Mikey. You couldn't find any wrappers because he buries them in the trashcan. I found them a few weeks ago."

Donatello sighed and lowered his head, which made him a bit nauseous. Mikey didn't seem that different. He was quieter then normal, but Don just figured he was nervous about the… well, even in his head Donatello hadn't yet really said he was 'bulimic', but he knew he was. Raphael had been acting strange, too, he wasn't eating like Mike.

"This is my fault." Donnie said, anguished. "We have to help him.""Donatello, you have to focus on helping yourself right now." Leonardo said. "I know you have good intentions, but leave Mike to me. You need to try to make yourself better."

Donatello sighed but didn't move or say anything for a minute. He was a burden to his entire family, and now his youngest brother was the one paying the price. How could Leo tell him not to try to help?

"I have to help, Leo."

"Donnie, this isn't your fault. Mikey had problems too, and he needs to work on his. He doesn't want to burden you with this, I know that.""How would you know?" Donatello snapped.

"He told me."

Shocked, Donnie didn't say anything. Leonardo sighed and explained.

"I asked him about it, when I started noticing. He denied it at first, but then after I found the wrappers and everything he told me…" he said. "He was upset, and he really didn't want you to find out. I already told him I wouldn't lie to you about it if you asked, though…"

"He talked to you about it?" Don asked. He was a little hurt. Mikey always came to him with his problems.

"Not much, he didn't want to. But he told me enough that I know it is binge eating… He's not hungry, he eats till he feels sick… He just wouldn't tell me why." Leo put down his coffee and sighed, looking exhausted. "Just like you won't."

Donnie bit his lip, not standing up as Leonardo did. His older brother walked out of the room, leaving Donatello with his guilt. Leonardo had looked so tired, so upset. Donnie stood up and walked to Mikey's room. His brothers door was closed, so Don knocked.

"Yeah?"

"Hey, it's me." He said. "Can I come in?"

"One sec, bro!" Mikey called out, and Donatello heard him rummaging. Then the door opened. "What's up?"

Donatello didn't know what to say to his younger brother, really. He hadn't planned anything, though he probably should have. Michelangelo gave him a questioning look.

"I was wondering if you wanted to play a game or something." Donnie said. "I kinda wanted to talk to you."

Mikey shot a meaningful glance back into his room, his door closed enough that Donatello couldn't see exactly what he was looking at.

'Uhhh… Sure!" he said, smiling and rushing out of the room, Donatello noted that he closed the door pretty hard, when usually it was left open. Then again lots of doors that used to be open where closed now.

They went into the living room to play. Raphael was there, but when they invited him he declined almost instantly and went back to reading something. They turned on some game of Michelangelo's choosing, and started to play. About five minutes later Raphael left, complaining about the noise. Another few minutes passed, and Donatello lost the game. They started over, Mikey excited about winning, and Donatello decided to talk.

"I… Uhm… wanted to talk to you about how much… you've been eating lately, you know?" He said, still playing. Michelangelo kept on playing as well, mashing the buttons lightening-fast. The only way Donatello could tell he was listening was the small 'nm' and the way his brother's eyes reflected a bit of sadness. "I thought maybe we could, you know… Talk about it?""Why?" Mikey asked. He was trying to shrug off the attention, Donatello felt a bit of deja'vu, after all hadn't he done the exact same thing whenever his brothers had confronted him?

"Because it's not healthy…" Donnie said, looking over at Mikey. He must have gained -at least- fifteen pounds in the last two months. Donatello could see it on his arms and legs, and his face.

"You're not exactly the go-to guy when it comes to eating healthy, Don." Michelangelo said, and Donatello heard the bitterness in his voice. Donatello had to bite his tongue to keep from going off on his younger brother.

'He's just upset.' Donnie told himself. 'He doesn't understand why I had to do what I did… He is frightened. That's it.'

"I know…"

Donatello put down his remote, since Mikey had killed him once again. Michelangelo just pressed 'New Game', but realized he wasn't fighting anyone and paused it. He didn't look over at his older brother.

"Mikey, look… I know this has all been really stressful, and I know that you're scared and everything… But you can't keep doing stuff like you have been."

"Like what? Eating? Just because you don't…"

"Don't make this about me." Donatello said sternly. "You have to realize what you're doing isn't okay."

There was silence for a bit and the orange-sashed ninja was turned away. He didn't want to talk about this, he didn't know what to say. It's not like he thought about anything when he ate. Sometimes when he and Donatello talked about what was wrong with Donnie, his brother would tell him how much he was thinking about when he was throwing up. But when Mikey ate, he wasn't thinking about anything. Hours past unnoticed. He just wanted to go back to his room now, he had left a bag of chips in there half-eaten when Don interrupted him. Not that Mikey wasn't excited about being able to play with his brother.

"It's fine. I've always eaten a lot, okay?" He said. "It's no big deal."

"Yes, it is." Donatello told him. "Obesity, diabetes, and heart disease! Come on, Mikey, this is a big deal."

Mikey looked over, glaring at Donnie for a few seconds, but then turned away again. He didn't say anything for a long time, obviously thinking, and then he just bit his lip.

"Why don't you pay more attention to yourself before you start preaching at me?" He asked, crossing his arms.

"I'm bulimic, okay? But at least I -know- it, and I'm trying to fix myself…" Admittedly not doing a great job, he thought. "But you're just in denial."

There was a pause.

"Mikey, I had an idea… I know that you won't like it, but will you just think about it?" He offered.

"… What?" his younger brother asked.

"What if we just eat together from now on? Whenever you eat, I eat. Whenever I eat, you eat… That might help both of us. Since you do eat all three of your meals, and I won't eat late at night… We could try to both eat like normal people for awhile."

Michelangelo thought about this for a minute. Then he smiled.

"Maybe." he said, licking his lips. "But…"

"But what?"

Michelangelo shook his head, smiling. He pushed his thoughts out of his head. If Donatello were disgusted by him, he wouldn't offer to eat with him, right?"But you can't, like… Throw up afterwards."

"Deal." Donnie said, and he held out his hand. Michelangelo took it and shook on the new agreement.

Of course, he hadn't realized at the time how hard it would be.

I hope you guys liked it. It's moving a little quick for my taste but I have so many parts to do.. And I'm trying to keep it from focusing too much on Mikey and not enough on the main character (Donnie, duh. XD) But Mikey is now, like, a side-main-character. =D