Just a Shell

Chapter 11

The two brothers held to their deal for the next two days, even though both of them where having problems.

Donatello could barely keep up with three meals a day, trying to eat an actual 'meal' instead of a slice of toast for once. It was hard, he still only had a glass of water with his sandwich, but it took him awhile to finish. On the other hand, Michelangelo never made him feel awkward when they were together.

Michelangelo, however, was having a hard time only having three meals a day, no snacks, no binges. He felt hungry all of the time. Thankfully Donatello was there to make him feel better.

Donatello was just going to bed on the third night of their agreement. For dinner he'd actually had a piece of pizza. PIZZA! He was feeling a pit of shame in his stomach for eating even one slice, but there was also the fact that he had to stop Mikey from eating a sixth slice, which was one of his jobs.

He had to tell Michelangelo to stop eating when he started to eat to much, and on the flip side Michelangelo had to confront Donnie when he didn't eat enough. They took turns choosing their meals, since they could never agree on much, and it was Mikey's turn to chose dinner today. Michelangelo had been very timid about recommending his favorite food, but Donatello assured him it was okay.

He felt guilty for both of these things and was thinking about leaving the lair to throw up. But he couldn't do that to his brother. Michelangelo was only going through with this deal because he was helping Donatello, and Donatello only because he was helping Michelangelo.

There was a knock on the door and before Donatello could even answer Mikey came in.

"Don?"

"Yeah?" Donatello asked, sitting up. "You okay?"

"… I'm hungry." Michelangelo answered, his voice a bit shaky.

Donatello thought about this. Mikey had had five pieces of pizza for dinner, and an equally big breakfast and lunch. He could only assume that his little brother wanted to binge badly, and his mind made him feel hungrier.

"Come lay down." Donatello instructed.

"But Don…" Mikey said, his voice was pleading now. "Please. I'm starving."

"We had dinner already." Donnie said, feeling even more guilt. It was only natural, even knowing that he was helping his little brother by saying no, Mikey was still his little brother. Donatello deeply wanted to give him whatever he wanted. "You can't be hungry."

Mikey lowered his head and walked to the bed, sitting down.

"But I am hungry…" he said. Donatello turned on his bedside lamp.

"… Wait here." Donatello said, standing up.

He left the room and stopped in the kitchen. If he could control Mikey's portions then he wouldn't have to let his brother down. But he needed something healthy. He reached into the fridge, finding an apple. That would do. He chose the biggest one out of sympathy and brought it to his bedroom.

"Here." He said, tossing the apple to his brother.

Michelangelo stared at it for a moment, and then looked up at Donatello.

"Come on Donnie!" he said. "This isn't even fair!"

"It's good for you." Donatello said simply. "If you're really hungry you'll eat it."

Michelangelo nodded and bit into the apple. He finished the whole thing in under two minutes, which confirmed to Donnie that his brother was going through binging withdrawal. When he was done he threw the core into the trash can.

"… I'm still hungry." he whined. Donatello laid down in his bed and tugged on Mikey's arm so his brother would follow suit. Michelangelo did without complaint.

"I know, Mikey." Donatello said soothingly. "Don't worry it'll pass, okay?"

The young ninja nodded, but Donatello heard a small whimper. When the elder brother looked down, he saw that Mikey had tears in his eyes, and one was trailing down his cheek.

"Oh Mikey…" he gasped, wrapping his arms around his little brother and hugging him close. "It'll be okay."

Michelangelo shook his head and let out one sob, burying his face into his brother's shoulder. Donatello stroked his little brother's head with one skinny hand, trying to get Mikey to calm down.

"Talk to me, Mikey." he said. "Why are you crying?"

"I'm hungry." Michelangelo said.

"That's not all, though, is it?" Donatello asked, his voice soft and caring. "Come on, talk to me."

"… I'm pathetic." Mikey said, letting another sob slip out. "It's only been three days…"

"Mikey it's okay. You came to me, didn't you? That's good." Donatello told him. "You were able to control yourself and come to me instead of go to the kitchen."

Mikey took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. He felt sick with himself, having to come to his brother's room to keep from eating. He knew Donatello must have been disgusted with him right now. He knew his older brother cherished skinniness, and that was the last word anyone would use to describe Mikey right now. He didn't voice his thoughts, but curled up into his brother more. At the very least, he knew Donatello loved him, even if Michelangelo was chubby.

He shook violently for a second, and Donatello looked down at him fearfully.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah.. I just…" Mikey trailed off. "I'm hun--… tired." He looked up at Donatello, putting on a small fake smile. Donnie already knew he was hungry, why say it again?

"Alright, let's go to bed." Donatello said, turning off the lights and vowing to make sure Mikey was asleep before he let himself do the same.

The next day Donatello woke up with Mikey in his arms, and he smiled. He couldn't help it, even though it was a bit selfish, he was glad that Michelangelo was having problems right now. It meant that Donnie could take care of him. He liked taking care of his family, it was something he was good at. Being relied on, soothing others and making them feel better. The fact that Mikey came to him the night before, upset, made his heart burst with happiness.

Mikey could sleep till noon if left alone, but Donatello knew that they couldn't skip breakfast. They had to try to keep to the schedule as close as possible, for both of their sanities, and so they had to eat breakfast at ten. It was nine-thirty now, and given that they were having raisin bran for breakfast (Donnie's choice), the purple-sashed turtle, though he wasn't wearing his sash at the moment, slowly snuck out of bed. He made sure that Mikey stayed asleep before he slipped out and went to the living room.

He had expected to find Leo or Splinter, the only other two people in the lair who woke up this early. Who he definitely did not expect to see was Raphael, sitting in the dark on the couch, looking out into nothing. Donatello stood there for a moment, then tilted his head. He was so confused.

"Raph?" He asked, stepping closer.

Raphael looked up and lowered his head.

"Hey Donnie." He said, he sounded tired.

"Why aren't you asleep?"

"I don't know. Couldn't." Raph said, shrugging his shoulders. "So how are you doin'? You've been eating lately."

"Yeah." Donnie said, rubbing his neck. He and Raph had never really spoken about his problem. "I guess.""Good." Raphael said, he smirked and looked up at his brother. "Keep it up."

Donatello nodded.

"Can I sit down?" He requested. Raphael nodded and Donnie sat down beside him, looking over. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine." Raphael said, shrugging.

There was an awkward moment of silence before he spoke again.

"I don't know how to act around you and Mike anymore." Raph said. "Everything's so confusing. I don't know what to say about any of this.""You don't have to say anything." Donnie said. "It won't last much longer…"

"You're so thin, Don. It's scaring me." Raphael confessed.

Donatello gulped, not wanting to talk about his weight at all. He knew that it he did probably look a bit skeletal, but he didn't like talking about it. Mostly because whenever someone said he was thin, his mind instantly went back to the dark place and argued with them. He shrugged.

"Well... I'm getting better." He said. "I'm trying."

Raphael nodded, but his eyes were not in it. He was staring at the ground, spacing out. He and Donatello were never the closest. They were friendly, and they loved each other obviously, but they never saw eye-to-eye on anything. Not like Raph and Leo. More as though their interest never crossed. Raphael liked being physical, Donnie liked using his mind. But somewhere along the Raphael forgot to pay attention, but like everyone else. He didn't notice how emaciated Donnie was until it was forced into his attention. Even then he denied it. He didn't think Donnie was capable of something so… brainless.

"Keep it up." Raphael said, patting Donatello on his shoulder. Don nodded. "I know that we aren't as chummy as we used to be, but I still care about cha."

Donatello smiled.

"I know that, Raph." He said, standing up. "I have to wake up Mikey. You wanna eat with us?"

"Sure." Raphael said, standing up as well.

They ate together at the kitchen table, and Leonardo joined in as well. They all had the cereal that Donatello picked, which was odd since none of them liked Raisin Bran. Mikey complained, saying that Donnie had the taste buds of an old man, and downed his cereal in so much sugar that it was the consistency of oatmeal. They had a good breakfast, laughing, talking… Just like they used to.

After they were finished Leo, Raph, and Mikey went to practice. Donatello decided to sit in, and was allowed to participate in some of the small, easy exercises until he got dizzy. Mikey tried five times as hard in his lesson, trying to keep up. His weight did hold him back, but he kept up with his other two brothers from sheer willpower. When training was finished they played videogames until lunch.

Donnie was happier then he'd ever been in months.

More of a filler chapter than anything else... Just to fill in the spaces between Don and Mikey's deal and what's going to happen next. Hope you liked! I've been on a writing spree lately.