Just a Shell

Chapter 12

Three more weeks passed alright for both brothers, though it was decided that Michelangelo would start sleeping in Donatello's room on a nightly basis. It was actually Mikey's idea, he didn't trust himself not to go and eat if he didn't. Donatello didn't mind. He loved being there for his little brother.

It was hard. Donatello couldn't believe how hard it was not to run away and hide whenever it was time to eat. There were days he wanted to fake sick, wanted to yell and scream, some days where he even wanted to take it out on Mikey. He held back. Instead, he smiled, and ate, and told Mikey what a great job his younger brother was doing. Some days he would eat less then he was supposed to, tell Mikey and Leo he had an upset stomach. They were pretty forgiving as long as he ate twice a day minimum.

It was just a normal lunch when Donatello's nerves cracked. He felt like he had to get rid of what he ate, even though it had actually been his turn to chose their food. They got sushi. Mikey was allowed two small trays while Donatello ate one. He finished about half of it and threw the rest away. Michelangelo gave him a 'look' but didn't say anything. Technically Donatello had eaten enough, since it was just lunch, not dinner. Besides, Mikey had a hard time calling Donatello on not eating.

Donatello went to the lab, telling his younger brother he had to finish something really quick and he'd be right out. When he got to his lab he looked around frantically. He didn't know why he had to do this, but he did. He felt it. If he didn't, he was going to be weaker and fatter than ever. Four weeks of food was finally getting to him, messing with his mind, and he HAD to get it out of himself.

He found his trash can and leaned over it. After taking a deep breath. Donatello stuck his finger down his throat. He heaved twice before he felt retribution for the food he had eaten. He knew he'd have to be careful about this, if anyone found the evidence they'd be furious. He buried the vomit beneath some newspaper he found on his desk and then headed out.

Donatello had only taken two steps when he saw Raphael, glowering at his with so much anger in his eyes that Donnie actually felt compelled to run. The red-sashed ninja caught up with him in the living room, where Mikey stood up.

"What's wrong?""I thought you was doing better!" Raphael said, yelling. Donatello closed his eyes. "You've been lyin' to all of us!"

"…What?" Mikey asked, his eyes growing wide and hurt.

Donatello felt pinned, he gulped. Leonardo walked in, and before he could ay anything Raphael motioned to Donatello.

"He's been throwing up in his lab!" Raphael yelled.

Leonardo felt completely off-balance but the leader side of him took over.

"Raphael, calm down." he said, narrowing his eyes. Obviously he had no effect as Raphael looked over at Donatello, backing him into the wall.

"He's been using alla us!" he said. "He doesn't even want to get better! He's lovin' all of this attention!"

Donatello's heart was racing, his entire body felt hot. Mikey was frozen on the couch. Leonardo was trying to assert himself to Raphael, but Raphael wasn't looking away from Donatello. Finally, the purple-sashed turtle just snapped.

"Don't even start!" He yelled. "It's not my fault! I didn't… This is the FIRST TIME IN WEEKS!"

He tried to straighten up, his body felt numb.

"You're the one who started ALL of this!" He yelled, pushing Raphael forcefully. He was weak, but his brother wasn't expecting it and went back five or six steps. "I HEARD you! I know what you said!"

"What are you talking about?!" Raphael yelled.

"I'm lazy! I act like a pig, and I look like one too! Remember, Raph?" he yelled, pushing his brother once again. "I missed one practice, I was distracted, and.. And…"

His heartbeat was starting to feel strange, irregular. Too fast one moment, too slow the next. But it was too late for him to stop, he was too angry to care.

"I know I'm the weakest! I always have been! But… I was trying to fix it!" he said. "If I hadn't… If I.. I…"

Donatello stumbled, barely catching himself on the coffee table, he fell to his knees. Raphael looked shaken, his eyes wide and he couldn't move, even though he was the closest to Donnie. Leo reached down to help him, but Donatello ignored his hand.

"It was working. For months I was starting to get… get better. I was still weak but I wasn't…" He forced himself to be standing again by himself. "But that didn't matter, did it? Then you started actually caring about me?"

He gulped, his mouth was getting dry. Donatello knew he was yelling, but only vaguely. He saw the hurt on everyone's faces.

"I'm never…." He stumbled but held his ground. The whole room spun around him. "I'm never going to be as strong as any of you… It doesn't matter what I do!"

"Donnie you have to calm down." Leo said. "Just breath."

"Don't give me that!" Donatello yelled, covering his ears. "I don't want to calm down!"

There was silence for a minute, then Donatello tripped again. This time he fell, and hit his head hard on the corner of the coffee table. He was only vaguely aware of the blood. He brought his hand to his head and felt the warm liquid. He saw spots clouding his vision. He heard his youngest brother gasp.

Michelangelo stood up, his eyes confused and scared, and he went to help his brother. Nothing else mattered, Donnie was hurt. He didn't care that his brother had lied to him. Donatello couldn't take seeing his brother still helping him, still reaching out to him. He had lied, cheated, and obviously hurt his dearest younger brother. He needed to get Mikey away from him. He pulled his arm away when Mikey reached for it.

"Don't touch me!" he yelled, he fell to the ground but glared at Mikey. "You know what? You are more of a pig then I ever was! You're disgusting! Don't you get it?"

Michelangelo's eyes instantly changed from worried and scared to traumatized, then wounded. He backed away quickly. All of his fears were confirmed in just a few words from his angry brother.

"Donatello you aren't being fair." Leonardo said, stepping forward. "This is all wrong. We… We have to get you to your bedroom. You need to lie down."

Donatello didn't answer, and when Leonardo tried to touch him he pulled away. No. He had started this. He was going to finish it. If they wanted to hate him, he was going to give them -real- reasons. Starting with the one brother he cared the most about.

"Everyone here is grossed out by you." He said, glaring at Mikey, who's eyes widened. "Don't fool yourself, all anyone cares about is how useful you are. Do you think you're useful, Mike?"

Leonardo looked helpless, staring at his youngest brother. Mikey was looking right at Donnie, as if no one else existed. Then he closed his eyes, shook his head. That's when Leo stepped between them.

Donatello blinked and looked up at his brothers. Raphael was still frozen. Mikey was trying not to cry, and failing. Leonardo was trying to stay calm and negate the negative emotions. When Donnie looked back to his older brother, the room started to spin and he held his head. He groaned and swore. These stupid things where supposed to stop when he started eating again, but they hadn't.

No one moved, all unsure of what to do. Raphael gulped and the growled.

"You're going to bed." He said, reaching down. When Donatello pushed him away he forcefully grabbed his brother's wrist. "I'm stronger then you!"

Donnie just laughed.

"Obviously." He said, rolling his eyes. Not the best idea as his head flashed with pain. He stood up shakily, but then started to fall again. Raphael kept him upwards.

"Don't hurt him." Mikey said, his voice shaking. Donatello sighed.

"Shut up, Mike." He said, leaning against Raphael. Nothing he did worked. Mikey still wanted to help him, for some reason.

Mikey stepped back another foot or two, avoiding his brother. He didn't care, Donatello could insult him all he wanted, as long as he was okay.

"Bring him to his room." Leo said. Raphael nodded, pretty much lifting Donnie. "Don't pay attention to him, Mikey. He's not in the right state of mind."

"I know what I'm saying." Donnie groaned, holding his head. "You just don't want to hear it."

Raphael sighed and pulled him forward, which shook him a bit. He felt like throwing up, but unfortunately he already had done so in his lab. He cried out as a his heart sped up, he tried to pull away. His head hurt so bad. He didn't want Raph to touch him. But, as had been stated, Raphael was stronger then him and he held strong. Donatello yelled, screeched even.

And then he fell limp as he passed out.

Sad chapter... Sorry. =( Had to happen. I feel bad for Mikey too. DX