Just a Shell
Chapter 13
When Donatello came to, he was lying in his bed with April hovering over him. She was hooking an IV into his arm. No one was looking at him, they didn't know he was awake.
"You should have told me about this earlier." she said to Leonardo, who was looking out the door. "He's malnourished, even though I think he was telling the trust about this being the first time in awhile that he has forced anything… Well…"
She sighed and packed up her things.
"You can keep the IV. I'll go. Thank you for calling me." she said, biting her lip. "He just had a panic attack, his heart beat fluctuated and he fainted."
"Don't tell Casey about this." Leonardo said. "This… This is a family matter. I don't want anyone to know who doesn't have too."
"I won't. Don't worry." April said. Her voice was soft and frightened. "Good luck. He should wake up soon. He doesn't have a concussion. He'll be okay with rest."
"Thank you." Leo said.
Donatello heard April say goodbye to Leo, and then repeat that goodbye to whoever was in the living room. Leonardo turned to Donatello, who opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. Leonardo would know he was awake anyway.
"Are you alright?" Leonardo asked. Donatello didn't make a move. "Donnie…"
"Were are they?" Donatello asked.
"Raphael is gone. Mikey's in the living room." Leonardo said. "He… Hasn't stopped eating since you passed out. He won't talk to me."
"I'm sorry." Donatello said, still staring at the ceiling.
"Look, Donnie… I'm the one person in this house you don't owe an apology too." Leonardo said, pulling a chair up beside the bed. "But for now, just rest. At least for an hour or two."
Don nodded and Leo stood up. Donnie looked at his arms. Bruises. From struggling with his red-sashed, angered brother.
"I'm going to go look for Raph. Mikey and Splinter are out there if you need them." he said. "Do you want me to send Mikey in here?"
"No." Donatello said sternly. "I can't face him right now, Leo. Not after what I said."
Leonardo nodded and sighed. He didn't know what to do. How could he be strong through all of this? Nothing about his family was okay. When he had spoken to Splinter about what had happened, his father had no answers. His teacher looked like he were crumbling, unable to help any of his sons, while all of them where hurting so badly. Right now he was sitting in the living room, watching Michelangelo stuff himself. He wasn't saying anything to his youngest son, there was no point. Mikey wasn't talking to anyone, and no one had the courage or heart to take food from him.
The good news, if they had to find any, was the Mikey didn't cry. Though, if one really thought about it, that wasn't such a good thing. At least if he cried, there would have been some sort of emotion, but there was nothing. He was just staring at the television, eating faster then Splinter had ever seen. He didn't try to hide like he had before, he must not have seen the point. Or maybe he just wanted the food so badly that hiding his eating would just get in the way. Either way, it was not good.
Splinter nodded to Leo as his eldest son left the house, wishing him luck in his hunt for his brother. He stood up and went to look in on Donatello, who was already fast asleep once again. The rat looked on with pained eyes, even though he knew this would happen. No one can heal overnight. He knew that his sons would stumble. He had hoped… that his fall wouldn't have been from so far above the ground. Now his sons were all hurting...
He sighed and sat down next to his sick son, looking at how thin and sickly Donatello had become. It wasn't right. How could he just sit here and watch this? How could anyone be expected to sit at the sidelines and watch their family fall apart? Watch their sons kill themselves? It just wasn't right.
Once his father was gone, Mikey went into the kitchen for more snacks. He didn't move under anyone's watchful eyes, he didn't want the attention. He felt numb, and he didn't know what to do about it besides eat. He knew… He knew with everything that he was that it was all his fault.
Donnie was getting better, he had started eating again and was even gaining back a little weight… Maybe not much, but it was a start. Michelangelo couldn't believe Raphael was right. Donatello hadn't been throwing up the entire time. Not for the last whole month. He believed Donatello, he was -sure- that this was the first time he had done that. But it was obvious why he had started again.
"It's me…" Mikey said to himself, looking at his reflection in the toaster and turning away. "He would be fine if he didn't have to be around me all the time."
He turned back to the fridge. Empty. The cupboards. All empty. He had eaten pretty much everything in the house. He took out a pint of milk and tipped it back. There was only about half of it left, so he didn't have to spend much time emptying it.
Who was the first one to find out about Donatello being sick? He was. He should have helped sooner, he could have kept it from being worse. He could have stopped all of this from happening if he had just done -something-. But no, he was too stupid to do anything besides tell his father. And then what? He started cramming his face with anything he could find. Now he was a blimp, and Donnie was disgusted by him.
If they hadn't made this stupid deal, maybe Donatello would have been okay, Mikey thought. He knew that sitting with him, watching him eat every day, couldn't have been good for Donatello. Michelangelo knew that Donnie was obsessed with weight, and he also knew that he wasn't exactly skinny right now. No wonder Donatello went back to throwing up. He didn't have a choice.
'I have to do something… Donatello is sick and it's my fault.' Michelangelo thought, sitting back down on the couch. He still had enough food in the living room for a bit longer. He was already a pig, it didn't matter what he ate now, right? He sighed and looked over to Donatello's room, where Splinter had gone. 'I'm ruining the whole family.'
He bit his lip and made up his mind. He couldn't stay here.
When Leonardo found Raphael, it didn't take much convincing to get his little brother to come home; which was surprising. The red-sashed turtle had been sitting in a pipe, looking down at his own hands. Leo just walked up and nudged him. Raph came back without a word, just a long sigh. He didn't speak until right before they reached the lair.
"I remember… I didn't think he could hear me." Raph said, not looking at his older brother. "He had gone to bed. I was frustrated. You know how many times I screwed up that day?"
"Don't beat yourself up about--"
"I should be beating myself up about it!" Raph yelled. "He's dying, Leo! And it's my fault!"
"No one I going to die. He fainted, but it was just a panic attack, he's fine." Leo told him, he tried to reach out and touch Raphael's shoulder, but his brother pulled away.
"He's not fine." Raph said solemnly. "I've been tryin' to pretend he is, but he ain't."
Rphael hung his head and gritted his teeth together. He hadn't wanted to believe any of this. Whenever Leo gave him those stupid pamphlets or lectured him to be nice to Donnie, he ignored it. He didn't believe that his brother could really be that bad. And who's fault was it that Donnie got that bad? His.
"He will be, though." Leonardo said softly. "He will. And so will Mikey. Everything will get better."
"How do you know that, huh?" Raph asked.
"Because…" Leo looked lost for a moment, then lifted his head. "Because it's Donnie, and it's Mikey. We know them. They won't give up without a fight.""Donnie already did." Raphael said bitterly.
"He fought." Leonardo corrected. "He fought, and he lost. We all knew he might. But he can try again. If we can keep cheering him on, I'm sure he'll keep fighting.""And Mikey? He sure as shell looked like he was givin' up when I left." Raphael said, remembering Mikey sitting there like a zombie, curled up in the fetal position. Not crying, not moving. He went and got food after awhile, but he wouldn't talk to anyone. Leonardo sighed.
"Mikey might take longer to convince, but he's stronger then all of us combined." Leonardo said, and he believed that was true. "We're talking about the Battle Nexus champ here."
Raphael nodded, and Leo pushed him towards the lair.
"We just have to keep moving forward. We'll put this behind us and move on." Leo said.
They walked into the lair, where Mikey was sitting on the couch. The youngest turtle actually paused his eating for a moment when they came in, which was more life then he'd showed for hours, but then he went back to eating and staring into space. Raphael couldn't sit and watch. Thankfully, Splinter came out from Donnie's room and motioned for Raph and Leo.
"We must speak." He said. "Let us come into my room."
They were in Splinter's room, both with their legs crossed, both with their heads down, and both with their fists clenched.
"My sons, your brothers are crumbling." Splinter said. "You two must be the pillars of our home. For your brothers."
"Yes, sensei." Leonardo said. "But what should we do?"
Raphael kept his head low, his eyes glaring at his hands, which were shaking. He'd never been told he was a 'pillar' before, and when he finally was, he felt weaker then he'd ever been in his life. It just wasn't right.
"You're brothers are so different, but so alike. Though their actions are complete opposites, deep down their problems stem from the same place." Splinter said. "Where is that, I wonder?"
Raphael took a breath.
"Donatello started because of me." He said, letting it out shakily. "He overheard somethin' I said. Somethin' I didn't mean."
Splinter nodded.
"I know you didn't mean what you said, Raphael." He said. "And I can assure you that deep down, your brother knows this, as well. He is hurt and confused, but his problems are not on your shoulders alone."
There was a loud knock on the door, and before Splinter could tell the person to enter, it threw itself open. Donatello was leaning against the doorframe, his body looked limp and useless, barely standing. His breaths were labored, and there were dark circles under his eyes. He clenched a note in one hand.
"Mikey's gone." he managed to gasp out. "He left."
A/N: Nothing much to say about this chapter. When it rains, it pours? Yeah... Reviews please!! 3