I woke up to find Alice looming over me, her pixie face alight with her bright smile.

"Morning, sleepy head" she sang. "It's time for you to get dressed," she laughed gesturing to a mound of dress bags at the end of my bed, which she had obviously just brought in with her.

"What?"

"Ah, come on Nessie" she smiled "I've been itching to get you a wardrobe ever since you stopped growing!"

"But wh-" I tried to ask.

"It's your eighteenth birthday!" Alice positively squealed dancing over to the window and opening the curtains. "These," she gestured at the bags again, "are part of you present. You get them now so you can pick one to wear for your party."

"My party?"

"Yes. Isn't it wonderful?" she smiled again, "I thought it was perfect timing, you know? Whilst we're back in Forks and everyone's here."

"But-"

"But nothing, don't you want to have a birthday?"

"But it's granddad Charlie's birthday."

"No. That was yesterday. And so I thought why not celebrate yours too whilst everyone is in celebratory mode. This way you get to have Charlie around as well, and Seth and everyone."

I had nothing to say to that, once Alice has a plan she sticks to it, especially concerning celebrations, I was having a party no matter what. I just kept thinking that means I'm older than my dad.

"Don't worry," she laughed, "I've already told everyone so they've all got you presents"

"I don't want any-"

"Shh! Hurry up now, we don't have long to get you ready."

"Why? What's the time?" I usually woke up fairly early without my auntie-shaped alarm clock.

"Six-thirty. Charlie is going to wake up at eight so we need to be fully organised by then, you're going to have a joint party." She grimaced, "Bella said that he would never agree to a party just for him and he hates surprises, that's why it was only a family meal around the bonfire last night." She pulled another face.

"Six–what? It's too early!"

"Nonsense" she said with a grin, and with that she pulled the covers off me and yanked me out of bed.

Alice had lied.

It was now nine-thirty and granddad Charlie still hadn't woken up, I could smell alcohol in his blood stream, I suppose that may have been the cause.

So, here I was, all made up in a black-midnight, knee-length, halter-neck dress sitting downstairs on his old sofa, the only one awake in the house, pondering what to do about Alice.

The rest of my family had gone out hunting; if they was going to be a great deal of humans and wolves at this party they had to be sure their thirst was quenched in order to prevent any incidents, such as Rosalie attempting to kill my best friends pack mates, again.

I was looking at the huge mound of presents in the corner, thinking there was no way that could be for just two people when Jake walked in. I hadn't even heard him approach.

"Alice" he said by way of explanation, shaking his head at the huge mound threatening to topple over and cover the entire room.

"Jake!" I cried in delight, running to him. He swept me up in a swift bear hug and carried me back to the sofa, where he set me down and sat beside me.

"I've got your present" he smiled, as he looked me up and down. "Nice dress. Very…"

"What?!" I asked sharper than I had intended. He was still looking me up and down; I didn't want to get any ideas again if I could help it, especially after last night.

Jake and me had been dancing together when a slow dance had come on, followed by another, and another, all I had been able to concentrate on were his warm hands, seeming to burn my skin where he had touched me, and his lips moving when he talked to me, I had just made up my mind to kiss him when I heard my dad growl from behind me and cut in to sweep me off to the other side of the room.

"Beautiful" he replied an odd expression on his face.

"Really?" I asked doubtfully, as his answer pulled me back into the present.

"Yes. You're always beautiful you silly girl" he laughed putting his arm around me, grabbing my legs and swinging them over his own so that I was now sat sideways on his lap.

"Do you want it now?" he asked.

"What?" I said, my heart was starting to beat faster; he still had a hand on my thigh. Was I too far gone that I would slip up and show him what I was thinking? I didn't think so, not yet anyway.

"Your present," he chuckled, fishing a small box out of his jeans pocket. He handed me the box staring at my face again.

"Thank you" I breathed as I looked up at him and smiled.

"You don't know what it is yet" he chuckled again.

"That doesn't matter" I smiled not taking my eyes from his happy face.

He shot me that lopsided smile that made my heart stutter and glanced away, down at the tiny box in my lap. Gently he nudged my hand aside and unwrapped the gift. Then he opened up the jewellery box and turned it to face me. I kept turning my gaze from him to his gift and back again in stunned silence.

Inside was a beautiful necklace, with a matching bracelet, silver with a large stone set on the end of the chain, a multitude of smaller ones surrounding it. As I looked at the diamonds they sparkled up at me.

"Jake. This must have cost a fortune." I gushed.

"You're worth it." He said it simply, but with meaning, smiling down at me. He bent his head towards me and I felt the familiar tightening in my stomach, the fluttering in my chest, before he kissed me on the cheek. I'd nearly slipped then.

"I love you, Nessie" he breathed in my ear and then kissed my cheek again.

"I love you too, Jake," I whispered back, turning to face him.

He still hadn't pulled away from whispering in my ear and as I turned my nose grazed his, my eyes snapping up to meet his gaze. To me it felt like eternity, but in reality it must have only been a few seconds. I was sure he knew what I was thinking whether I was unconsciously showing him or not. His lips parted as if he were going to say something and I felt his breath wash over my face.

Then, with all the timing of a really, really annoying person, granddad Charlie woke with a loud snort, waking Sue as well. We both jumped and the spell was broken. Jake looked away as I looked at my hands holding the necklace in my lap. Then my phone rang.

"Hello?" I asked, knowing who it was already.

"Hello Nessie, are you okay?" my mum asked.

"Yes, I'm okay mum" I was resolutely starting at my lap.

"Good. We've finished hunting now and are on our way back. Your father is driving so we should only be about ten minutes."

"Oh. Okay" Jake had slipped out from underneath my legs and had started towards the door.

"Bye, Nessie"

"Bye, mum" I said snapping the phone shut. What should I do? Should I go after Jake? As I was thinking this I realised it was already too late, I had already started after him, my legs working unconsciously as if there was a strong magnetic force pulling me towards him.

"Jake" I whispered again. I knew he'd hear me. He stopped and turned back around to face me, his eyes fierce with something I couldn't quite interpret, something like desperation. I gasped, my heart racing again.

"Jake" I repeated, still whispering. I was moving forwards again. He shook his head lightly, watching my face, stepping forward too as if without conscious thought of doing so.

"Nessie" he pleaded, grabbing me around the waist and pulling me to him, his eyes not leaving mine. I raised my arms and put them around his neck and slowly rose up onto the balls of my feet.

"Nessie, no" Jake said, shaking his head again, but he pulled me closer to him all the same. I shut my eyes as I raised my face to his, searching for his mouth my lips slightly parted.

His lips found mine and pushed against them with a fierce intensity, parting them wider as I pushed myself against him. His free hand had moved to my hair, twisting his fingers in it, before pushing it back around my shoulder. He then continued to trace the side of my face and moved down to my neck. His lips now worked furiously against mine, as he held me close, his hand now running down my spine. I shivered against him, my whole body shuddering, then we broke apart as he pushed me away from him.

"Jake" I sighed. I was totally incapable of any coherent speech.

"I'm sorry" he looked me in the eyes, kissed me on the cheek once and was gone. "Don't follow me" I heard him shout.

The party was fun I'll admit, but it just wasn't the same without Jake there. I was scared that he was avoiding me; well actually I was scared of why he was avoiding me, since it was abundantly clear that he was - because he hadn't turned up at the party. The worst thing was I couldn't think about what had happened earlier because my dad was around and I didn't really the relish the idea of him giving a lecture to Jake, let alone me.

Alice and Jasper had bought me clothes, clothes and more clothes, as well as literally buying me a new wardrobe. That, however, was currently being built into my room back home so I wouldn't see it until this evening when we left Forks; we were staying in Alaska at the moment.

Rosalie and Emmett had bought me a CD player, Emmett explained the reason behind this choice as "so you can entertain yourself and stop bothering me and Rosalie when we want time on our own." Something I was trying hard not to think about as they bumped and grinded into each other on the dance floor.

Next, Esme and Carlisle gave me their gift, which was amazing. I was handed a small rectangular envelope containing two airline tickets to the Caribbean. I glanced at my parents but they only smiled encouragingly as Carlisle said "we just thought that now you're officially and adult you might want to get away from all of us for a while, we know it gets a bit crowded at our place sometimes, plus you don't have to worry about sparkling in the sunlight either." Esme also said that as an extra whilst I was away - whenever that was, they didn't expire for another year - she was going to decorate my room, however I wanted it.

From my parents I got a car. It was a stylish silver convertible of some sort – okay so I wasn't good on makes - but it looked good and I was assured it would go fast. My dad was pleased when I jumped up and down smiling and hugged them both, but still thought I wasn't truly appreciating it properly.

"Where's Jake?" he asked, "This car deserves a proper reaction. He's the only one around here apart form Alice that never gets tired of new cars." At that I felt my face fall, but I managed to plaster a grin back on my face with some effort.

"Oh, he said he might me along later, I think he was feeling pretty ill" he knew I was lying but didn't know what about or why because I was suddenly thinking very hard about wanting to go for a drive in my new car.

"Um, not yet sweetie, I think you should stay here, it is your party after all. Anyway, you'll get to drive it back tonight. You can go back with Jake."

"Mmm" was all I could manage before I had to turn away and almost run back into the crowd of people in the hope that their mental voices would drown out mine for the few seconds it would take to compose my thoughts. I ran into granddad Charlie who placed a package into the hand he had just grabbed.

"Here you go sweetie." He smiled at me. "Just thought you're growing up so fast I won't be able to keep up with everything you're doing. Anyway now that Edward assures me you're not gonna grow any more I thought why not make a record of everything you're gonna do, now you're all grown up, like on that holiday you're going on eh?" I presumed it was a camera then. I smiled up at him trying to concentrate on what he was saying and not think about Jake, but my thoughts just kept drifting back to him, to the memory of him pushing me away after we kissed, to the fact that he clearly didn't feel that way about me…

I opened the package and smiled up at Charlie as I saw the digital camera lying in my palm.

"Aw, thank you granddad." I managed to choke out, "that's really thoughtful. It's perfect"

"That's alright Hun, sorry it's not much though I-"

"Don't be silly" I tried to laugh, "it's great". He pulled me into an awkward hug before turning back to Sue.

He clearly still wasn't that comfortable with affection then. Accepting all the strange events surrounding his daughter's family, including her supposedly adopted daughter - who happened to look exactly like any child she and her husband could have - that was easy for him, even the bit about me aging at supernatural speed, but a hug? I laughed to myself, heading back towards the party.

When I parked in the garage, mum opened the door for me.

"Is everything alright mum?" I asked. She had an anxious look on her face.

"Yes, yes everything's okay, it's just - "

As we walked through the front door I noticed the rest of my vampire family, all waiting in the hall, looking as if they were about to leave.

"Oh. You have to go again," I said. Every so often my family would disappear on secret missions that they refused to tell me about, normally for a couple of days at a time.

"Yes, sorry honey" my mum apologised.

"No. It's okay" I smiled at everyone. "Honestly, it's fine."

"You won't be alone though, will you? You've got Jacob"

"Is he here?" I couldn't help but let the urgency through in my voice.

"Yes, dear. He's upstairs. I think he wants to speak to you. Apologise." My dad answered.

Apologise? What is going on here? Nobody else seemed to think there was anything weird about this, they probably still all thought that Jake felt ill and was apologising for not being able to make the party.

"Are you going now then?" I turned to my mum again, forgetting the dread I felt at confronting Jake for the minute.

"Yes, we're sorry dear"

"It's okay, I understand. I don't suppose you're going to tell me what you're doing or where you're going though?" I half joked already knowing the answer.

"Sorry."

"No. I didn't expect so," I laughed.

"How long?" I asked more serious now.

"Um, we don't know yet. Probably a couple of days though. Bye, Nessie. Be good." And with that she hugged me, kissed me on the cheek and moved out the way so the rest of my family could say goodbye before they went.

I waited downstairs until I was sure that all of my family had gone. I concentrated on trying not to feel scared, I knew they would be alright; they always were, I just couldn't help worrying. To be honest though I did think about this a bit longer than usual in order to distract my thoughts from Jake. When I was absolutely positive that they had been gone a good quarter of an hour I decided that it was time for me to go upstairs.

Jake was in my room as I knew he would be. He was sat on the bed looking out my window. I sat down next to him and we sat in silence for a long while, content in each other's company.

"So?" I asked eventually. I mean there were comfortable silences and then just silences. Jake turned to look at me, a weird look on his face.

"I'm sorry Nessie," he said.

"For what?" this was all very confusing, if anyone should be apologising it was me, I mean I had practically jumped him.

"I'm sorry I kissed you"

"I'm not" I tried joking.

"I mean, I'm sorry I kissed you – that's not how I feel, that's not how you should feel. It was a mistake, Ness." I gaped at him in shock for a moment before the anger started building up inside me.

"What?!" I almost shouted in his face.

"I said I'm sorry Ness, I'm so sorry. I-" he wasn't meeting my gaze.

"You kissed me." I stated

"Yes. But-"

"No." I said, "No buts. You kissed me. I felt it. You kissed me back."

"That's what I mean Ness –I didn't mean to."

"But-" had I got it all wrong? I thought he had wanted me, it had felt like he wanted me. But what if I was wrong? What if he had kissed me so he didn't hurt my feelings, what if he really just wanted to be friends. It hadn't felt like that, but that was what he was trying to tell me I could see it in his eyes now.

"Sorry" he repeated, " I shouldn't have kissed you. We're friends. Just friends." He paused, "Best friends."

"I can't believe I was so stupid." I whispered to myself. I hadn't meant him to hear, but I knew he had. Anger flittered across his face and he clenched his hands into fists.

"Sorry, Jake" I said aloud. He still wasn't looking at me. I grabbed his hand and tugged at it. Eventually he looked up at me. I forced a smile.

"That's okay, Jake. Really" I smiled at him again, "I know you're my friend. We'll always be friends, right?" He answered with his lopsided smile.

"Always" he promised.

"Good, so… forget it?"

"Uh, yeah" he smiled again. "Love you Nessie."

"You too, Jake." It was alright. I didn't want to lose him. I didn't matter if I didn't have Jake like that, as long as I had him at all.

"Well, there you go, I have obeyed your dad." He chuckled. I didn't ask him what he meant by this I just held his hand and leant against his side, just how we always sat. After a while I started yawning. I was tired but I didn't want to sleep.

"I'll see you in the morning" he chuckled. "Sweet dreams." He kissed me on the cheek and made to leave.

"Jake?"

"Mmm?"

"Can you stay here tonight? I mean, with me. You don't have to, I'll understand, I just-"

"You sure?"

"Yeah" I said looking up at him, "Just until I fall asleep if you like."

"Is it because you're worried about your parents?" he asked.

"Yeah. But you don't have to, I - " It was partly, I told myself, but mainly just because I wanted to be with him, I wanted to show him I was alright with being just friends. I would be alright.

"Okay." He said walking to the other side of the bed, he slid his jeans off – this didn't bother me I was used to Jake just walking about in a top and shorts – then jumped back on the bed, reaching out his hand. I crawled towards him sat at the top of the bed, and curled up at his side.

I shrugged my jumper off - i had changed into more casual clothes before we left Forks - i didn't need it, i had my own personal heating system right next to me.

"Night Nessie" he said, putting his arm around me. I was asleep in seconds.