So heres Chapter 6. Tell me what you think about it in review. it starts getting better near the end. sorry if its confusing!

Chapter 6

After what seemed to be an hour, it was truly only a minute, Alice and I got into the car. I sat down next to Bella, nodded, gave a quick smile, than turned and watched as we started leaving the parking lot. Edward stared at me for awhile in his rearview mirror. I have a hunch, and it is that he still doesn't trust me. I guess Alice was saying something to him with her thoughts because he turned his head to her and gave a sad smile.

It was strange, being stuck in a car with 3 different emotions. Bella had fear coming off of her and a bit of anxiety. I must have really frightened her. Alice had love still emitting off of her with a touch of contentment. And Edward, boy was he really screwing with my emotions. His distrust felt like I was being punched in the stomach over and over again. I didn't think I'd ever see the day my own brother didn't trust me.

All of these emotions were starting to take a toll on me so I sent out a wave of calm. Even though the car ride home was only 5 minutes long, I felt it was necessary to keep me sane.

Alice turned and smiled at me. Bella shifted towards me and said thanks. Edward didn't say a word. Not a nod or a mumble, absolutely nothing. It was killing me.

We arrived back home and before we got to the house I called Edward over so we could talk.

Let's go in the woods. I thought. We started walking into the woods and when we were just out of sight, we stopped. I knew everyone in the house could still hear me, well, everyone but Bella, so I knew if something was to happen, they could come help.

After about a minute of just standing there and staring, I finally spoke up.

"Edward. Why don't you trust me anymore? It was one incident. I've had them before and you have never acted like this!"

"Jasper…god, you don't get it do you? Its not that you almost killed someone, it's that the one girl I love was there and I knew if you started going, you weren't going to stop…for anyone."

"You think I have that little of self control? Seriously?" I was starting to get angry now. Not once, even the first month I had become a 'vegetarian', was I believed in so little. But I wasn't done yet, oh no, my anger was just starting to rise. "Just because I can't go to school like you guys? Is that why you look down on me? Or is it because I may not be as stable as you guys? None of that means I'm constantly on a rampage for human blood!" I was starting to get really angry now, and I was itching for a fight.

"Chill out, Jasper. I know you're still new to this but maybe it was all a mistake!" Edward yelled at me.

"A mistake? What was? Letting me into this family? Putting time into me to help me fix my past?" I was hot now, just about to tip the scale on the anger meter.

"It was all a fucking mistake. Why would Carlisle even think you had a chance?! Sure Alice does. She wasn't a monster before she came to us and she isn't a monster now. You're never going to change." Edward was now boring holes into me with his eyes. His eyes always had their own power to them and they always got their message across. I glared at him and stepped forward. We were nose to nose, our cold breath was hitting each others faces and neither of us was going to step down. That last line was what got to me. I knew it was going to be hard to change but I always thought I would be able to and I always had someone to help me along the way. But Edward didn't believe in me. He thought I would never change and possibly couldn't ever change.

"I was a monster before and I can still be a monster now." I growled in a low voice, barely above a whisper.

"You don't scare me. I know what you were. I've heard it in everyone's thoughts. All about poor, little Jasper and his horrible past. Well you know what, fuck you. I don't care and I never will. You are worthless to me and this family."

With that, I lunged at Edward and grabbed him by the neck. Out of everything he could do, he laughed. It was a real genuine laugh. Not a scared, I-think-I'm-going-to-die type of laugh, but a true, full on laugh. Had he lost it? At any minute I could rip off his head, and he was laughing at me? I stared at him with confusion. He stopped in mid-laugh and threw me against a tree.

"You want to fight. Game on."

I grabbed the tree he had just thrown me on and threw it at him while he picked up a boulder and narrowly missed my head. I lunged at him, grabbing his arm and almost ripping it off when he whipped around and kicked me, hard, right in the gut. Out of nowhere, Emmett flew at Edward and pinned him to the ground while Carlisle grabbed my shoulders. I knew they could hear the fight but it had only lasted a split second so their reactions were just on time.

We had never, not once, had a family fight like this. Usually we would throw a few trees at each other or just plain out yell but tonight was personal. He attacked me in more ways than one. I didn't even realize I was walking back to the house when I heard Emmett and Edward speaking.

"Seriously, Edward. What got into you two?" Emmett asked.

"I don't know but I may have screwed it up for us. Big time. I really do love Jasper but I don't think we're ever going to be the same." Edward actually sounded sort of sad. Like he was regretting what he had done, possibly over reacting?

Carlisle snapped his fingers in front of my face, trying to get my attention back.

"Where's your head at, son?"

"I…I'm not really sure." I managed to get out while I slowly lifted my eyes from off the ground.

When my eyes had finally reached Carlisle's, he actually took a step back. I looked at him in confusion and he said, "Your eyes. They look like a black hole. There's no end and barely a beginning."

I looked back down when I realized something. I had turned into the monster I once was.