hiya folks, this isn't the whole chapter just the first part, but it had been a while since i updated so i thought I'd add this for now, before i finish the chapter.

again, I'm not Stephenie Meyer, just one of her very many disciples.

please, please, please review the story so far! what do you want to happen?

Jakes POV

I knew that I had let myself get carried away again when I shouldn't have – but I found that I didn't have it in me to truly regret it either. These past two nights had been both the best and the worst of my existence. I knew that it was wrong, but it had just felt so good, so right. The feeling of being that close to Nessie, of being that connected, being inside her was such an overwhelming sense of right, as if that was where I belonged. And I now knew that I didn't have the strength to resist her pull on me anymore – anything she wanted from me I would give.

That's why I was still inside her now. Every time I had tried to pull myself out of her so that she could sleep in a more comfortable position she would whimper and mumble "no" - not that I was complaining, I could stay like this forever, I felt complete. I glanced down at Nessie's face, her mouth curled into a gentle smile and her eyes lidded with sleep – how could I have convinced myself that I could deny this for long? If I was being completely honest with myself I was staggered, amazed, that I had managed to control myself for as long as I had.

I remember clearly the instant my feelings for Nessie had changed – it was three months ago to the day. I had already registered the fact that she had stopped growing of course – how could I not? I knew what was eventually going to happen, it was inevitable, but I had never expected it to happen so quickly, and I wasn't prepared for it.

It had been a simple thing really, a split second realisation. We had been out with her family on a hunt, and Nessie had decided on wearing her new dress – another of the pixie's many presents. She loved dressing and making Nessie up –like she was a life size Barbie doll, and Nessie allowed her to – not that she needed any of that stuff, she was and is the most dazzlingly beautiful creature I have ever seen, whatever she wears – or doesn't wear, I chuckled to myself.

Ness had jumped up into the top of the trees –she loves it up there. When she decided she was coming down she realised her problem; if she jumped she would splash mud all over her new dress, and if she wasn't careful she would snag it too. Gingerly she had climbed down most of the height of the large tree until she was standing on a branch only ten foot off the ground. Then she had spotted me.

I had been stood in the shadow of a large oak watching her with amusement, and what I knew was a goofy look on my face. She had raised her head slightly, locked her stare on mine, a glint in her eyes I had never seen before, and smiled. And that was it. At that simple look I felt the world around me flip, and suddenly my attention was more focused on her than it ever had been before, more intense. A huge pressure built up behind my eyes, my blood pumping hard in my ears, and all I could see was her. And I was being pulled; pulled towards her, a strange clenching in my stomach muscles and a fluttering in my chest.

"Jake" she had smiled, elongating my name into two syllables. "Could you help me down?" Never before had I noticed how beautiful she was, never before had I wanted to please her so much.

I found myself stood beneath her perch several seconds later, my eyes never having left hers, burning intensely, as she began to lower herself into my waiting arms. I had felt my fingertips burning as her slender frame slid between my hands and my breath had caught in my throat. I had held Nessie thousands of times before, hugged, carried and tickled her, but never before had I been so aware of her body beneath my touch. It was like a great physical pain and a huge relief at the same time.

I had stared at her for what felt like ages, unable to tear my gaze from her face. It was like I was being pulled towards her by an unimaginably strong force, and I realised that this was the moment I developed feelings for my Ness, so much stronger than that of protector or best friend – I wanted so much more.

She had smiled at me again, quickly pecking me on the cheek before looking slightly awkward, a flush rising to her checks when I didn't release her straight away. That's when her father had emerged, calling for Nessie to join the rest of those annoying bloodsuckers. He had immediately snapped his eyes to mine as I eventually – after what seemed to me like hours, but which had probably only been a few seconds, - released Nessie, and wrenched my eyes away from hers, sure that if I looked back into them I would be trapped forever.

I knew that he had heard my thoughts surrounding his daughter change, and I knew that he registered the fact that as I watched the girl I was unconditionally in love with walk back into the forest that I noticed how that dress hugged her body perfectly in all the right places, and how her hips swayed as she took every step. I heard him growl, only a short and low one, but it had managed to snap me out of my trance. It was only natural he felt this way – I was actually surprised he hadn't attacked me, I was convinced that when this moment came he would try to tear me apart –he was her dad.

That's when I had turned and run in the opposite direction – not fleeing Edward, but Nessie's draw – and tried to gain control over my raging emotions and the almost overwhelming urge to hold her and kiss her until everything else disappeared. Something I had been doing an awful lot of recently.

I chuckled to myself again, tracing patterns on Nessie's bare shoulder as I remembered all those times I had had to fight the overwhelming urges that sprung up whenever I looked into her eyes, or felt her near me. The time when she had reached up to pull a leaf from my hair – her fingers leaving a trail of fire across the skin of my brow, and as she stretched up the trouser-tightening inch of bare skin that was revealed as her tight t-shirt rode up. Or the multiple times when she had flung herself into my waiting arms, pressing her body firmly up against me. And that time she had fed me chocolate ice cream off her spoon, licking her lips in the most inviting and unconsciously seductive manner imaginable. Not to mention the time by the river, just me and Ness, only three days ago - I had been fantasing about kissing her, when I realised that it was getting dark. I had felt guilty, we hadn't spent that much time together alone lately and there I was off in my own little world - she must have been bored stiff. And then when she had blushed, oh god it made me harden slightly just at the memory of how sexy she had looked, I remember thinking God! She knows what I was thinking!

that's as far as i've got so far lol, i no nothing's happened yet, but there you go!

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