Okay, long update, I went fucking crazy on this chapter. Thank you to my reviewers :D
Uh, I just realized my summary won't make sense for a while. Like, you'll be in the dark for two more chapters. Kind of... spoiler-ish. Ugh.
Anyways, seriously, I feel uber unfunny now. This is getting lamer, but I just felt the overall plot was too much lulz, so...
Enjoy the chapter, and I don't own.
Ulquiorra
Dear Bill,
Ow, ow, ow.
I hurt all over.
Turns out this gigai is completely useless when it comes to fighting. Well, emo people always did look really skinny and weak. Hm, but that's not the point.
Well, I finished writing in you, and these really big people came walking up to me. They were kinda like Grimmjow, all muscle and stupidity. I think those are what people call jocks. I mean, they had a football and such. Pfft. Fuckwits are gonna get it from me as soon as I figure out how to cero in this gigai.
I totally could have taken them if I went full out Hollow mode on their sorry asses. Gawd, but like I said, this gigai sucks shit for fighting. I got my ass kicked. :
So they came walking over, right? And I didn't really know what they wanted. So they start out all, "Hey emo kid, what were you writing just now, more shitty poetry?" and "What are you, emo n00b? You and your faggot friends shouldn't be on this side of the building." Shit like that. And before I knew what happened, one came barging up and kicked me in the stomach. It hurt like a bitch, still hurts. Ow.
And then they started beating up on me. I got totally pummeled. They mobbed me, I swear I am shorter as an emo kid because they were fucking HUGE. B(
They are so going to get it. I remember each one of them. Once I get bored and go back to Hueco Mundo, I will come back and kill them all. Then I will probably eat their souls. Ha. :D
Well, I guess they got bored of me after a while, 'cos they stopped mobbing. But by that time, there were a whole fucking hoard of them. Ugh. One of them picked me up and slung me over their shoulder. He smelled weird, ew. Like… sweat and gross crap like that.
I need to cero their asses. Now.
Well, they carried me to a school and tied my legs up completely. That hurt more than when they hit me. Because they obviously thought my legs looked skinnier than they really are, and tied the rope really tight.
Goddammit, they are so dead when I get out of this.
Well, at the school, there's this thing called a… flagpole. And they took the other end of the string and hung me up by my legs on the flagpole. And here I am, dangling from the flagpole, writing in you upside-down, Bill. So. Fucking. Pissed.
Urgh! I will fucking MURDER their asses. And them, too.
Well, I guess I can come down any time I really want, but they're still waiting for me. I can hear them, hiding in the bushes. And since I have too little blood to begin with, not enough of it is rushing to my head to cause any damage or make my face pink or something…
Ouch. My stomach still hurts. I just checked it, and damn! I don't have any abs at all. It's just… flat. Like an anorexic girl. Damn, seriously, no defined muscles at all. :
I'm starting to like this gigai less.
Well, there's this huge-ass bruise on my stomach. It looks really gross. And my nose was bleeding, but it stopped now. But still, the blood totally dried running down my face. At least it's stopped now, or I won't be able to see. And my lip is busted, too. That's still bleeding.
Hm. Numerous injuries that I can deal with.
Anyways, I'm done with this, I'm getting down. The rope is so fucking thin, I'll just chew through it. Simple.
Auf Wiedersehen!
Grimmjow
Dear Diary,
I was just walking and I saw this whole mob of people watching something. So I stopped and watched, too and saw this anorexic kid in a green shirt hanging upside down from a pole. D:
It was scary!! And all those mean people were laughing at him.
But he got down really quickly. Just bit down on the string and dropped. Landed pretty nicely, too. Did one of those midair flips and hit the ground standing. Sweet jump.
But I dunno. I didn't want to end up like that poor kid on the flagpole so I scrammed.
Anyways, met some really nice people! At least I think they're nice. They let me stay at there house. But I'm outside, writing in you because I have uber night vision. :D
Actually, it's still day, but don't tell anyone! :)
Well, I think they're ghetto like me. They listened to rap reeeeally loud in their car and we went around smashing mailboxes. It was fun. Except when this scary old lady came running out of her house and threatened to sic her cat on us. I think I cried, I'm not sure.
Well, I guess I'll be staying here for a while. They call me newbie and said they'd teach me to be hardcore ghetto. That'll be fun :
I hope it doesn't hurt!
There aren't any parents home, so we just microwaved crap from the freezer and ate it. It tasted fine, better than it looked.
They told me that I acted like a complete pussy and had to stop or they'll demote me to emo. Ugh, that'll be like Ulquiorra. By the way, I haven't seen him all day. I wonder how he's doing.
So they taught me all these new funny words! They said that if I ever got really pissed off, I couldn't use them! I'm so excited, I'm going to be a gangster! :D
Anyways, I went back after we ate to the school and saw that those mean people had left the kid in the green shirt lying on the ground. I went over to check and I think he's dead. I mean, he wasn't moving and his skin looked pale enough to be dead. And there was all this blood, too. Damn, that was a lot of blood for someone so skinny. D:
Well, I mean, I can't be sure he's dead, but I wasn't going to do CPR on him. All that blood… T.T Gross. And I'm just sitting next to him, writing in my diary. Seriously, it's been twenty minutes and he hasn't moved. Maybe if I kicked him he'll say something.
… Nope, didn't work. I kicked him really hard like fifty billion times and he was still lying there. In his own blood, eeeewww. It's everywhere, I'm pretty much sitting in the one patch of asphalt that isn't red.
Never mind, I'm not… It's all blood.
I think I'll get out of here 'cos now I'm sure the kid's dead. I don't want to take the blame for this…
Okay, I'm in a park now. Pretty close to the school so I wouldn't waste any time. But tomorrow, they said they would help me get new clothes :D
Meaning they pick, I pay. Psh, Szayel gave me enough to do random crap, I won't worry about it.
Okay, that's it for now, bye.
-Grimmjow