17

I couldn't believe that I told them that we needed to talk tonight. God I am crazy but that's what I get for listening to Shane. He is right I need to get this done before I do anymore damage to any of them. So I was heading to their locker room now so we can head out. I knocked and Jeff told me to come in. When I walked in they all were dressed nicely and holding their bags.

"I guess you guys were waiting on me then huh?" I asked them.

"Yes." They said and I smiled.

"Let's get going then." I said to them before I turned around and left the locker room. I didn't have to look back to know that they all were following me. So I just kept walking until I got to my bike.

"Why don't you guys follow me? I do believe that you all will love where I am taking you." I said to them.

"How about I ride with you since Matt isn't here with the car?" Jeff asked and I nodded as Glen took his bag and headed to the truck.

We set out about ten minutes later and went south instead of East towards the city. I felt great about this even though I didn't know what I was going to say to them. I didn't know how they would take my new home. I loved it and I prayed that they did too.

I don't know why I am even showing them where I am moving too but I know that I wanted them to know. I wanted them to be there with me. I was finally going to telling them the truth. They can take it how they want to. If they leave it will break my heart but Shane's right I can fix that. I just can't lead them on like this anymore. They have a right to know what has been going through my mind.

It took forty-five minutes to get there but when I pulled into the long road to my new house I couldn't help but smile. It was my dream home and I was glad that I found it. Jeff pressed himself further into me and it made me happy to know that he was there with me in that moment. But how long would he be there for me? That was something that I didn't know.

When I saw the house I smiled and sped up a little. Then when I stopped the bike I heard Jeff take a breath. I hope that was a good sign. This was only ten miles away from his brother and me owned all of it. The house was four stories tall and had a two level garage and a basement. It looked like a log cabin and it was. All but the garage and basement. As we all parked I prayed that I was doing the right thing.

"It looks like you made your choice." Mark said as I got off the bike.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked him as I grabbed my bag and looked at him.

"You chose Jeff didn't you?" He asked me as he looked down at me.

"Would I need all this room if I just chose Jeff?" I asked him.

He looked at me and smiled. "Thank god you scared me there for a moment."

"Come on I want you to see what it looks like inside." I said before he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder.

"Damn it Mark My hands aren't broke anymore." I growled as I slapped his ass.

"I know but I like to look over and be able to nibble on your butt if I wanted too." He said before he did just that.

Glen laughed and I glared at him. "It isn't funny. God it felt so good though."

"And that was why I was laughing. I knew you were going to say something like that." He said as we got onto the porch.

"You have to put me down now Mark so I can unlock the door." I said and he huffed. Which I thought was very cute.

"You are so mean. Why don't you give Jeff the key?" He asked me.

"I don't think so." I said and he put me back on my feet.

I moved away from him and unlocked the door. Then I threw it open and rushed in before he could pick me up again. They followed me in and I walked into the living room. "Before I show you around I do believe that we have a few things to talk about first. I know that I have a lot to say and I know that you guys have some things to say. SO how about beers and we chill and talk?"

"That sounds good to us but what are you drinking? I know you don't drink beer." Jeff said to me.

"I'll be having a beer too." I said before I walked through the living room and into the kitchen which is the biggest room beside the master room in the house. I got out four beers and put them on the counter. I honestly didn't know what was going to happen in there but I prayed that I wouldn't get hurt tonight.

"Need some help?" Glen asked from the doorway.

I looked up at him and laughed. "Me need help you got to be joking."

"No I wasn't joking. It looks like your hands are still hurting you a little bit." He said as he walked towards me.

"Yes just a little. But they are fine. I can handle four beers." I said to him.

"You can handle two beers better." He said before he grabbed two of the beers.

I just shook my head and grabbed the other two before I we headed back into the living room. They were already sitting down and waiting on us so we handed out beers and took a seat. "I know that I have been a pain in the ass for a couple of weeks now and I am sorry about that. But a few of you acted like you weren't going to be able to share. We all know that is what this is ending up in. I know it because I have strong feelings for all three of you. I can't pick and no one is going to force me too. If you can't deal with the fact that I want all three of you then don't stay. You can leave right now. You each give me something that I need and I don't think I will ever find that in one man ever. I know that I haven't said this before but I love all three of you and to know that scares me because it means that I can get hurt three times worse than I ever have."

They all looked at me for a moment and I closed my eyes. "I can't do this."

I opened my eyes to see Jeff stand up. "I love you Casper I really do but I can't think about sharing you. I can't even dream about sharing you. I just want you. I don't want to have wonder if you are spending more time with them then me. I don't want to worry that you will just leave me behind. They are use to sharing I'm not. I'm not use to having someone that has feelings for three men let alone me. I'm sorry but I can't do it."

I couldn't say anything so I didn't. I just turn away from him as he walked to the front door. "Glen, can I take your truck?"

"Yeah the keys are in it. Just leave my bags on the porch." I heard him say as I got up and left the room.

I couldn't believe it. I really couldn't believe it. I fell for him all over again and he broke my heart again. I should have known that this wasn't going to happen. I should have known that he wouldn't want to share me. Jeff wasn't a sharing person with anyone but Matt. That I learned a long time ago. I went into the down stairs bathroom and closed the door before I leaned on it and slid to the floor. After all this time I have to heal another broke heart that he broke. It just pissed me off. I should have known. I shouldn't have been so stupid and let him in again but I did and this is what it got me.

"Casper baby are you ok?" Mark asked from the other side of the door.

"I'm perfect Mark." I said to him as I forced the tears back. I wasn't going to let him make me cry. No I wasn't going to cry over him anymore. I already did enough of that once.

"He will come around." Mark said to me.

"It's too late for that." I said as I pulled myself together and looked into the mirror. "He chose and so have I it was just different."

I stood and turned around. Then I opened the door and walked out into the hallway. Mark and Glen wrapped their arms around me and I settled in between them. Who needs the fun Casper anyways. I have the ones that want me right here so why should it matter that Jeff doesn't want me too?

Jeff

I couldnt' believe that I said that. I didn't even realize I felt that way until I said it. I won't go back now. I knew that it was too lae and I couldn't because I still felt that way. She wanted us to share her. I couldn't do that. I couldn't know that someone else had her too. In this case two some elses. She should have picked me. I have known her the longest. I have loved her for a long time. But she couldn't pick and I don't understand how she couldn't. Ftom where I am sitting it would be an easy choice.

I pulled up at the house a few minutes late and cut off the truck. Gle would be picking itup in the morning. So I just left the keys in it and walked inside with my bag. Shannon ad Matt were already in bed so I jsut went to my room and fell onto the bed. I didn't wnat to see tha look on her face but I knew that every time I looked at her I would see it there. I would see that look I caused once before. But this time it was worse becasue I chose to do this and that meant that I hurt her knowng that I would. What kind of person am I for that. It didn't matter anymoe becasue soon I will never have to worry about it again. Becasue I kew that she would be killing me soon. I broke her heart after telling her I wouldn't. I couldn't even keep my word to her.

I hope that she isn't crying. god that would kill me to know that I made her cry again. I know it killed me last time. I know that I wasn't myself for a very long time after that. No I couldn't take it if I kne that I made her cry. "I'm Sorry Casper."

Glen

Mark was laying with Casper in bed so I decided that I would get a little air. She had cried herself to sleep and it killed m becasue Jeff hurt her. It killed me becasue I knew that I couldn't take that pain away. To know that he could do that after everything made me want to hurt him really bad. Oh yes I wanted to hurt him for hurting her. "Hey you ok?"

"I am going to kill him for this one." I said to him.

"I am with you on that one." Mark said as he haded me another beer.

"That boy is so fucking stupid. She has loved him for a long tim and he hurt her. Not once but fucking twice and this time he did it knowingly. He knew what he was going to do to her and he still did it." I said with a growl.

"At least he didn't want to do it. Aleast he did it before anything got started with all of us. I know I wouldn't have lethim walk out of the huse if it had been a couple months or a year. I would have killed him." Mark said to me.

"I know but it doesn't matter becasue it still hurt her." I said to him.

"then we will just have to make him pay." He said to me.

"Yes and it's going to cost him dearly. That we are going to make sure of." I said before i downed my beer and sighed.