Okay people... This will be the last chapter for a week, as I am going to Canada to visit relatives.
Ugh. So not thrilled.
But on another note, thanks to my reviewers. I really appreciate you putting in the time to write something :)
This chapter was inspired by the Emo Beatdown Day. Don't get me wrong, I love emos, they are great. Hell, I'm even an emo myself. Point is, I don't go hating emos, or anything. So yeah. Longer update that really won't last all week, but I try...
Enjoy, and I don't own anything
Ulquiorra
Dear Bill!
What THE fuck.
What the fuck was that shit today? Oh my god, so fucking pissed off!
Who the fuck do they think they are? Uuuuuughhhhh… B(
Those dipshits (you know who) did something really retarded today. I'm watching it with Damian on YouTube right now.
Sick bastards. I swear, ghetto can't mean what it means. D:
It must be something like… Gay… Homosexuals… Eat… two tons… of-shit. One word.
Yes, that must be it, I'm a genius. Anyways, back to the YouTube.
So today, I was going to go to the bathroom in the morning to fix and hairspray my hair, and I see those motherfucking bastards in Damian's bathroom (he was behind me, by the way. Going to straighten his hair) dressed up like the motherfucking Crocodile Hunter.
He was going through Damian's stuff, and then he turned and saw us coming and said (in the gayest Australian accent EVAR) something about keeping quiet to see the emos in their natural habitat. So we walk up there, and he's all, we've got a gorgeous emo here, a gooooorgeeeoooouuus specimen (see, gay, amirite?).
And then we say, "What are you doing here?" Only not really nice.
And he looks around all shifty and says something about not knowing…?
And Damian says, I don't even know you, etc. what are you doing in my bathroom etc.
Before we knew what happened, him and his faggy assistant bagged us. As in they fucking put a bag over our heads and picked us up. In a bag. It was soooo ugh. D:
And then we get put in these puny dog carriers. I felt like I was all arms and legs in there, seriously. No fucking room.
We drove around for a while and then they got out, carried us somewhere and dumped us out onto the sidewalk, so called "putting us back in out natural habitat".
Fuckwits are going to get it.
But that wasn't it. That was only… like… an hour of the morning.
After that, all these other people came by in cars and beat up on us, you know, chasing, tackling, punching/clubbing. The works.
They were… pretending to be, like, an emo population control police or something.
Fucktards. Damn the fucktards. Fuck them all to hell.
And when they fight, they totally try to rape us. I mean, contrary to popular belief, tight jeans don't stay on that easy, so when I was getting wrestled into licking the curb (ew, it had ants on it), they started pulling at the belt, which pulled at the pants, which sagged pretty far.
And I lost my shirt. I don't know what happened to it. Someone stole it, that's it. And they stole my purple scarf. Goddammit, why didn't I wear a sweater today?
I told Damian I would meet him outside the mall, and people are staring, BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING SHIRT. I wonder whose fault that is.
By the way, they managed to get me to lick the curb. Meaning they smashed me under their fat asses and grabbed the back of my neck so I wouldn't move. Not like I could move with that fucktard metalhead lying on top of me. With his chains digging into my back. Ugh. Well, he got his dirty hand into my mouth, that was seriously uncalled for, and totally forced me to scrub my tongue on the curb.
Like I said, there were ants on it. B(
Anyways, I see Damian now. And I'm still pissed after this whole day of rape…
Grimmjow
Dear Diary,
Haha, today was soooo cool!
Turned out, it was Emo Beatdown Day or something, so no one stopped us when we beat them up. Ha.
It was so fun. :D
I mean, we're all still bruised (I think I have really fast healing rates to go with this gigai. Pretty cool…) But we played Emo Hunter with them.
And then we pretended that the emos wandered into the neighborhood and had to be removed to their natural habitat.
So we brought them around in pet boxes and left them out on the sidewalk somewhere really far away. :D
So fun. Anyways, they left, and then the other emo haters tracked them down and attacked them, trying to rid the world of emos.
Anyways, Ulquiorra and his friends have been preoccupied with all the "Hunters" going around, and I beat up three emo kids! :D
Actually, that was probably because today was Emo Beatdown day. Hm, whatever. It was easy to beat them up. I threw a glass bottle at one and he got knocked out. Haha, Coke bottles…
Well, I got another one when he was riding on his scooter. We kicked him. It was funny…
And then the other one, I ran up behind one and pushed him into this telephone booth. You should have heard the sound his head made when he hit it. :D
Ha, and that was pretty much it for my emo beating up…
The only thing that made it even better was that Ulquiorra was totally out today, there was no way for him to beat anything up! Well, it would be hard, since he's the one being beat up…
I wonder if I could try to beat him up. Something tells me no. Ugh.
Moving on…
Those really creepy kids with all the spikes and black were back again. T.T
And then my friends thought they were emos and tried to beat them up.
It didn't work, obviously. They got their ass kicked D:
Like, seriously, they got totally owned. One of the scary kids took off his spiked belt (I'm glad his pants didn't fall off. What's with all these emos and their look-alikes being so skinny? I mean, how do their pants stay on?) and started whipping one of the dudes with it. It made this huge snapping sound every time he did. So scary. T.T
Dude, but seriously, some people came over and broke it up, and the scary kid put his belt back on. Those spikes were soooo sharp. So much sharper than the ones on Ulquiorra's belt.
Uh… and I was just thinking about it, even with the belt, those emos pants don't really stay up. Like… we were wrestling with one, and by the end of it, his pants were totally being pulled off. No, we totally weren't going to rape him, honest. But seriously, the guys were pulling his pants off when they wrestled and pulling his shirt up. Ugh. Looked weeeeeiiiird and awkward! At least he was wearing boxers… and they weren't ugly, either. I hate ugly boxers.
I think that if boxers are pretty, they should be worn outside the jeans. Then people can see that you don't have ugly boxers :D
Or not.
Well, yeah, emo people need even tighter belts. Or they need to make sure their jeans stay up, 'cos their shirts are too tight and short to cover anything below the waist. And if they wear low rise jeans, it gets a bit awkward. At least they're wearing those stripy sweaters nowadays. Ugh.
I looked up those scary kids and it said they were punks and Goths. So scary D':
They did bad things to some of the emos, like really bad things. Things like… stealing their sweaters and shirts. Um… chaining them up and leading them around like dogs. Uh… I dunno.
Well, I think they're higher up on the food chain than emos. Actually, I don't really know how this hierarchy works.
Wait, lemme think.
Yeah, old ladies on top because they will kill our asses with those walkers. Those things are so batshit crazy… and then the Goths, and jocks, us, emos are really low, then. Are they lower than ten year olds?
I don't think so. I think Jonas Brothers fans are below them.
Oh well. See you for now while I savor the moment.
-Grimmjow