Hi you guys! Here's the promised second chapter
IMPORTANT NOTE:
IMPORTANT NOTE:
IMPORTANT NOTE:
(Got your attention now?)
This chapter will NOT be as funny as the first. Sorry, you just can't avoid the fact that you need an explanatory chapter sometime through. Why not do it now and get it over with?
The fun stuff WILL return next chapter. For now, please bear with me
Anyways! On to the second chapter~!
Watermelons and Wishes
The watermelon slice cut in half with a clean snap. A blonde nurse stood a few feet away as Kelsey handed back the knife in a dangerous jab-like motion. The nurse took it warily, and walked quickly away from the other girl, who seemed to be able to wield a fruit knife like a weapon.
Artemis felt a bit more than distraught as the painkillers wore off. As his irritation subsided, the spaces between the shots seemed longer.
About ten minutes ago he had shooed away the worried parents, trying to assure them in the best voice possible that he will be alright, and that he was sorry for his outburst. He partially was, now that he realized that none of them were deranged, (as much as he thought) and that he was the source of the predicament.
"Do you want some?" the girl almost timidly handed the watermelon over, obviously much more conscious of her actions now.
Her anger died away, and her mind was fogging up. Benjamin clearly did not read the series, but after he woke up from an almost life threatening accident, he spoke like Artemis and knew enough knowledge to rival her?
His eyes seemed to turn into ice. "If you know me all that well, I'm sure you'll know that I will not take it."
The girl was a completely different matter though. How did she know so much? And why?
She seemed to mentally berate herself and began eating the fruit.
"How do you know so much?"
"Are you really Artemis Fowl?"
She leaned back, acting surprised at both of their sudden questions. "Okay, well… prove to me that you're Artemis, and I'll tell you again why I know."
Again? He could feel his right hand itching to drum its fingers against a hard surface. No such luck. The genius nodded, the blonde hair flopping in his face. There was probably no threat in proving himself to her if she already knew this much.
"I've never heard it before… but…" Kelsey seemed to look embarrassed, "Speak Gnommish."
He carefully watched her actions. She obviously thought the idea of speaking a fairy language was foolish, so she wasn't from Opal. "There, satisfied?"
Her eyes widened with almost giddy excitement, "Say some more!"
This is it, she thought, her own mind disbelieving, this is really him. She almost wanted to pinch herself, but was afraid that if she did, she would really wake up.
"I have nothing else to say to you. Now, tell me how much you know."
She evidently didn't know what he was saying, but caught on as soon as she remembered her deal. "Er… what should I do… oh!"
The Asian girl swung her bag around, pulling out a rectangular book with a gold cover. His name was clearly printed on the front. He could only stare for a few seconds, then took it quickly.
"I don't know how to say this, but… this is your book. The story of your life starting from when you were twelve."
He could hear her, but he didn't respond.
Stay back Human, you don't know what you're dealing with.
Holly's famous first words to him were on the back, for the world to see.
"You're pretty lucky. I was going to give this to Ben to read in case he was bored during the stay… I've been telling him to read if for years now."
The pages were frayed, and when he opened the book, he saw Gnommish letters on the bottom of the pages, and light English ones, deciphering word for word in pencil above them.
Artemis could only read a few sentences to know that it was clearly accurate, the memories of his kidnapping jolting to the front of his brain. "How does… this person, Eoin Colfer, know so much?"
"He's your author," She couldn't find a less awkward way to explain, taking the book and flipping it to the first page, "He even signed all my copies the last time I went to see him."
The autograph stood out.
To Kelsey, it read, then his name signed in a flourish, Fowl Wishes.
"How many of these… unofficial autobiographies exist?" He was unsure. What was this place? Simply America, or somewhere else completely different?
She put the book back into her bag, "Six right now. How old are you right now? Not your legal age, your real one."
"A little over sixteen," so she also knew of the time skip.
Kelsey pushed up her glasses, "Your latest book just came out-"
She stopped before opening her mouth in a way that suggested a silent scream, "Oh my Lord, this does NOT make any sense. Artemis Fowl pops up in my world in one of my best friends' bodies and I sit around talking about his age."
"I would have to second that," He murmured, suddenly marveling at their previous calmness, "I would suppose it came from the shock on your part, and for me, my medication… would you please explain how I got into this accident?"
"Ben was driving back home from the party we had at my house. Some idiot ran a red light… and I was the closest one to get to the hospital." At least, that was what she heard from his parents over the phone. With the strange incident, she couldn't be so sure.
Artemis started picturing how the boy had gotten his injuries and made a mental assessment of how long it would take for him to heal. "So, you and your friend should be around seventeen?"
"Yeah," Here they were again talking about age, "Look, do you remember the last thing that happened before you er… woke up here?"
The Fish Incident.
"A heavy blunt object hit me accidentally, after that I would have to say I might have hit my head against the marble floor, knocking me out." He watched her as she finished off the rest of the watermelon.
The girl pointed at his orange juice. When he didn't seem to want it she took it, cracking open the plastic seal. "Ah… Okay… have you guys caught Opal yet?"
He mentally grimaced. He couldn't be sure that he was really in a different dimension, but the best course of action seemed to be cooperating with the peculiar Asian girl. With the information she had obtained, she held a trump card. "Not yet."
"If you think I'm gonna black-mail you with what I know," she mentioned suddenly, taking a swig of the juice, "It's virtually useless. I'm just thinking the best course of action would be to stick with someone that you 'appear' to know, that also knows your 'mind.' You try to go out there, you'll be looked at like a crazy or raped by fan-girls… and I don't want you mistreating Ben's physical body while he's gone."
So she had also thought this out thoroughly. "I will agree for now."
Benjamin woke up with a start.
It was light out, the bright filtering in a slow haze.
"Artemis! You're awake!"
He turned to see a brunette woman smiling next to him. Beside her, a very… very large man and a very… very small redheaded girl.
It took him a few moments to get his bearings. They all watched him silently, making him feel more than awkward. All he could remember was that he was in a car accident driving back from his friend's house…
Abruptly the small girl came over and looked at him curiously. "You're not dumb or mute are, you? What would the whole world say about Artemis Fowl if that were to happen after a fish hit him?"
"Oh Arty," the lady laughed, "You know we've talked about this before, so I do know about Holly… at least nod to show me that you understand and you're not worried."
Who was Artemis anyways? And why wasn't he in some serious pain after that accident?
Wait.
"I'm not who you're talking about… where am I?"
His own voice was foreign. It had a strange accent to it, a different quality…
They all blanched. The girl spoke again, "Looks like you hit your head pretty hard… but then again, I healed you… do you think this might be Opal's doing?"
His eyes widened suddenly.
Artemis
Holly
Opal
Page 364 paragraph four through eight is definitely my favorite. He totally shoots Opal in the face with a flare gun!
Kelsey… She was talking about... -Artemis Fowl! Artemis Fowl!
He shot out of the bed, looking down at his hands. They were more slender and pale, the left hand's index finger oddly longer than the middle.
"Could… could someone get me a mirror?"
The large man silently handed one over, and the reflection he saw made him ready to pass out all over again. After a tense silence, he finally set it down, now finally noticing his bearings.
He was in an ornate room on a large four poster bed, the carpet of the floors and walls all dark woods and colors. Outside there were hills that seemed to stretch on to eternity.
Benjamin took a deep breath. "I know this sounds weird… but I'm not Artemis Fowl."
A look of pain flitted over the woman's face before Holly put a hand on her shoulder, urging her not to worry.
The red head and the large man shared a glance before she spoke. "Don't worry. We've been through weirder situations with him anyways. We don't know whether to trust this or not, but being Artemis after all-"
"-anything can happen." He finished for her, slowly understanding with a strangely calm feeling.
Maybe he hadn't realized the full extent of his situation, but he couldn't hold any single feeling to what was going on.
The fairy laughed nervously, "But… how do you know about us then? Do you know about us?"
"You're…" He struggled to remember the bits of Kelsey's excited conversations with others about the books, "You're Holly, and a fairy… right?"
So he did know. She warily reached for her Neutrino Gun. "How do you know this?"
Benjamin winced, he really hoped that this question wouldn't come up. "This is really really hard to explain… but I think I just fell into a book. All of you are book characters."
He was greeted with a stony silence.
That, and the thought that Kelsey could only wish to be in such a predicament.
Here it is, ONCE AGAIN, sorry if this wasn't as funny as the first. Like every story, you need an explanatory chapter, and this one was it.
The funny stuff will return!
But for now, please review! I always want to hear what people think!