Disclaimer: I own myself, and my procrastination.
Note: Hey, please don't kill me…
Chapter: Another Filler!
The scene opens on a snow-covered London. WrestlingChicka is standing (more like crouching) on top of the Pie Shop. Angry reviewers are throwing snowballs at her. Many of them are hitting their mark. They are also yelling, most of the words garbled profanities.
Chicka: Hey, guys, please stop! Please?
More snowballs are thrown. Suddenly, the roof collapses under the combined weight of Chicka and the snow. Chicka lands with a thump on the floor and immediately gets up to try and barricade the door.
C: Help me, damn it!
Sweeney: Nah, I'm OK over here.
Sweeney and Mrs. Lovett are safely in the other room. Chicka mumbles under her breath and shoves her weight against the door. No use. The reviewers come tumbling in, many on top of Chicka.
C: Ugh. Get off of me.
Reviewers: Not until you update!
C: Uh, yeah, about that…
R: There is no 'about that'! There is only update and no update! So far, you've been in 'no update' territory!
C: I HAVE EXCUSES!
R: These better be good.
C: They probably aren't, but they may explain a little bit.
Reviewers settle in for a long wait. Chicka begins…
C: Once upon a time…
The scene changes to a school in the boonies of the mid-west. We zoom in to one girl in particular, with blonde hair, pink glasses, who is busily writing in a notebook.
C: There was once a little girl (OK, a teenager) who dreamed of becoming a writer. One day, she got a wonderful idea…
We cut to a classroom in which a boring science lecture is being given. A light bulb appears above the blonde-haired girl. The girl begins writing notes to four of her friends with questions on them.
C: This idea would soon grow to be a 118 written page book, and counting. It would also evolve into a 94 page pre-story…
Show a picture of the girl weighed down with papers.
C: It would also include three other pre-stories, written by the girls that the story is about. So, you see, Chi-I mean, the girl, is bogged down with ideas…
The girl is busily typing away at a computer, her brow furrowed.
C: And then, suddenly, she was enrolled in…golf lessons!
Show the girl almost hitting the other children in the head with her putter.
C: The girl enjoyed golf very much. Then her brother decided to begin wrestling…
Cut to a picture of the girl's brother in a blue singlet, smiling with a second-place conference medal.
C: Her brother had practices two times a week, and then on Sundays, he'd have meets that meant that Chick-I mean, the girl, had to get up at the crack of dawn and spend six hours in a smelly gym…
Show the girl so bored that she's about to either cry or scream or laugh hysterically.
R: GET A MOVE ON IT!
C: OK, OK. So violent… Anyway, this girl was bogged down and-
R: OK, WHAT PART OF 'WE DON'T REALLY CARE, ALL WE WANT IS AN UPDATE' DON'T YOU SEEM TO UNDERSTAND?
C: The don't care part.
R: Face palm…
C: Anyway, your update shall be…um…a Holiday Gift?
R: HOLIDAY GIFT?!
C: It's the best I can promise, OK?!
R: We'll be back…
C: Gulp. OK…
R: We'll be watching…
The reviewers leave.
C: YOU COULD HAVE HELPED, SWEENEY!
OK, I know those were crappy reasons. But, review. I thought it was a little funny. The story that I spoke of I am actually going to try and get published, so maybe you'll see my name in print. A far-fetched dream, I know, but I can try, can't I? Reviews are appreciated. Can we hit 100??