Disclaimer - People, I do not own Twilight, if I did I'd already know what happens in Breaking Dawn and I wouldn't spend most of my time reading theories for it on fan fiction !
A/N - Thank you to all my great reviewers, you guys are the best !! I'm sorry this is so late, my parents decided that I needed to get a life instead of reading books and fanfics all day, by the way, I got one, they're overrated !!
Alice and I stayed up most of the night talking about, well, everything. Except him. She seemed to understand that it hurt me to hear his name and she didn't mention him again, I was grateful for that.
She told me about everything the Cullens had done since I'd last seen them. When she had finished, she started questioning me about everything I'd done, where I'd gone to college, where we'd settled in the past, what college courses I'd taken. She was surprised to hear that I'd studied practically everything. I had gone to so many colleges and universities that my memories of them were a blur, the professors, the students, the different campuses, they all blended together. I'd finished high school after I met Ciara, then I had gone on to college. We moved around every few years, with me leaving whatever town we were living in at the time first to go to college, then Ciara and the twins would follow, pretending to get a new job or that they missed me too much. Then we'd settle down somewhere new, I would go to a new college, Jen and Lucy would attend a new high school, They'd sometimes take a college course with me but as they both looked quite young it allowed us to stay in the place longer if they started as juniors in high school, it allowed me time to get a degree in whatever course I was taking and they didn't really enjoy amount of time college took up, they both had degrees in different subjects, Lucy had a degree in business and another in art design while Jen had a degree in history and in computer science.
But though my memories of the actual schools and professors were a blur, I remembered all my courses down to the most minute details, I'd studied engineering, medicine, architecture, history, philosophy and anthropology to name a few, though the were a lot of others. Ok I guess I'd taken a lot on but I'd needed to keep busy. Work stopped me from thinking about him as much so I'd worked as much as, well, inhumanly possible. Alice, as I'd predicted, loved Lucy. They had bonded instantly when Alice mentioned our shopping trip tomorrow.
When I introduced Alice to Jen however, Jen said hello politely and then pointedly asked if she could speak to me in private. I told Alice that I would be back in a minute, then I followed Jen downstairs.
I'd looked at her expectantly, but she muttered "not here," and half dragged me about three miles away into the centre of the forest surrounding our home.
"Jen what is it ?" I asked cautiously as she stopped. "What is it ? What is it ? How can you lucidly ask that question ? She's his sister !" she was shouting then, her voice bordering on hysterical. "I know Jen, but -"
"They left you ! They left you alone ! It's their fault you were bitten ! It's because of them that you've spent the last 95 years depressed and alone ! How can you just let them waltz back into your life ?! They abandoned you !" she screamed. "Jen please calm down," I pleaded. "No ! I will not calm down Bella ! Are you nuts ? We came here so you could forget about them and move on ! And they just show up again , what about when they leave you again, huh ? I won't let them hurt you again Bella ! I can't," she took a deep steadying breath and whispered, "I need my big sister."
Her shoulders shook with suppressed sobs but she stood her ground. I crossed the space between us in an instant and wrapped my arms around her. "Jen" I murmured in her ear, "I will always be here for you, I will always be your big sister. Nothing will change that. But I love them, surely you can see that ? And if they leave again then, well, I'll deal with that then." I smiled down at her, she met my eyes and looked away, "Bella is he here ?" "No Jen, he's not" I knew she felt horrible about bringing him up.
"And Jen, it wasn't their choice to leave, it was his and it wasn't his fault that I was bitten either, it was just … bad timing on ,my part" I shrugged, grinning sheepishly at my simple explaination, "but" I continued, " I can't say that it was bad luck, if I hadn't been changed I wouldn't have met you or Lucy or Mom." She grinned. I went on, "Something you said bothers me though, you said I was alone and miserable for 95 years, Jen, I was never alone or depressed, because I had my family with me, it's kinda hard to be miserable around you three."
I was trying to make her feel better, and for the most part, what I said was true. I was never really depressed, I just couldn't be happy, with the pain of losing my chosen life, my chosen family and the one person I loved more than anyone else, it was hard to be happy, but I was never really depressed, I was heartbroken.
She was smiling doubtfully at me, her eyes expressing her sadness and uncertainty. She knew I wasn't being honest, but she seemed to appreciate the effort.
"Come on, lets go home," I said quietly. We ran home in silence, then went back up to my room where Alice and Lucy were sprawled across my unnecessary bed, flicking excitedly through Lucy's fashion magazine.
The early hours were spent playing "Bella Barbie" and, unfortunately for her, "Jen Barbie." Alice left at about 7 am to get changed and ready for our shopping trip. When she left, I quickly cleared my room of all evidence of our "sleep"-over and headed into my bathroom to change my clothes. I put on the outfit that Lucy and Alice had picked out the night before, my navy blue jacket, navy boot cut jeans, a white long-sleeved T and my blue ballet flats. As I dressed I couldn't help but this about the night before, Alice and Lucy got along brilliantly, even Jen had warmed to Alice after our talk - though I can't see how anyone could dislike Alice.
I love my best friend
A/N - Please please review people, by the way, I can only update on Tuesdays and Sundays now because my Dad needs this computer for work, so today the choice was update or reply to reviews, favourite stories and people who added me to their favourite authors, I thought you guys would prefer another chapter so I updated, but thank you sooo much to the people who reviewed etc. I will update again on Sunday !! And I will reply to you wonderful people, seriously, you guys are the best !! So people please review !! I want to know what you think ! Yes YOU !!