Disclaimer - If I owned the Twilight Series then Bella would have been with Jake so I could have Edward. insert evil laugh here

A/N - Hi Girls,( and guys, if you're out there!) Thanks so much to all of you who reviewed, added me to favourite author or author alert, or 'Closure' to favourite story or story alert ! This chapter is dedicated to Misha ! A totally awesome reader, because it's her birthday today !! Happy Birthday Girly ! Have a good one ! I couldn't update earlier today because, my parents took the computer away ! According to them I'm becoming too "obsessed" with the computer and fan fiction. Obsessed is such a harsh word… Anyway, on with the chapter !

He pulled away first, a beatific smile on his angels face. His topaz eyes smouldering as he looked down at me.

I couldn't speak, I couldn't even move. It was so nice to pretend that he wanted me that I didn't want to leave his arms

Then I realised, it was time to stop pretending. He didn't want me, he didn't love me, I knew that, I'd known it for almost a hundred years. I didn't understand what he was doing. He didn't want me as he'd so thoroughly proved. But the way he' kissed me …

But I had to move, by staying where I was I was just setting myself up for more heartbreak and pain, the hole in my chest tore open yet again as reality set in.

I struggled, trying desperately to get free of his arms, but my efforts only made him clutch me even tighter to him. "Edward," I breathed in deeply to help me remain standing as I whispered his name weakly, in a bolder voice I said, "Edward let go of me." If only I could still pretend, but I couldn't, not any longer.

"Bella," he breathed. His voice was so sweet that I couldn't think. He hesitated at my request, but after a moment released his hold of me. It hurt so much to look at him, to see him.

Images of our last moments together flashed before my eyes. His eyes had been hard, cold, like molten gold that had frozen solid as he said the words which had taken away my reason for existing. "I don't want you."

The hole widened unmercifully as I recalled those words. I couldn't control myself, just being near him caused the empty hole to widen, threatening to tear me apart.

I ran.

Faster and faster, I couldn't break down in front of him and my breaths had already turned to silent sobs, wracking through my chest, tearing through me, engulfing me in pain.

I could hear nothing, my non-beating heart was silent, no blood pounded in my ears as I ran. Everything was still.

And then his arms were around me, restraining. I froze. Tensed, as if for impact.

I'd forgotten how fast he was, even for a vampire he was abnormally fast. Esme had once commented on his remarkable speed, at the ill-fated baseball game. My eyes were closed, I couldn't look at him, it just hurt too much.

Then he said quietly, "Will you not even look at me." The obvious pain in his voice made my eyes snap open.

"Bella I'm sorry, I … I shouldn't have done that," he said in a low, anxious voice, running a hand through his wet bronze hair. "Bella I just, I love you, so much, and all this time… I thought… I thought." His voice trailed off there, like he couldn't bear to finish the sentence.

Pain erupted through my stone body, but I had to explain, to make him understand that my change hadn't been his fault.

Guilt.

It was the only logical reason I could find for him choosing to lie to me now.

"Edward," I started, I suddenly had his full attention, his eyes boring into mine, I took a deep breath and continued, "Edward, please, don't do this." His eyes turned hard, "What do you mean ?" He questioned. "Don't lie to me, I can understand if you feel a little guilty that Laurent got to me, but I don't blame you, it wasn't your-"

He raised his hand to cut me off. Then said slowly, "You think I told you that I love you because I feel guilty."

It was a statement not a question. I nodded, then continued, "But Edward, really, there's no need, it wasn't-" He cut me off again, "Isabella, I love you, I always have. You believed me didn't you ?" As he said the last part a look of wonder and disbelief took over his features.

A sudden look of desperation coming into his eyes. "About what ?" I questioned breathlessly.

I couldn't move anymore, I didn't want to. The hole was still there, still throbbing. But I could bear it, as long as I was in his presence, feeling his strong arms around me, hearing his sweet, melodious voice, seeing his angels face and breathing in his glorious scent, then I could rise above the pain. I would deal with it again later, when he was gone.I winced at the thought.

When he answered me his voice was no more than a whisper, a shocked, broken, defeated whisper, "That day I left, you believed me."

I gasped at the sudden surge of pain in my chest, at the memory. He took that small noise as the affirmative.

He clutched me even tighter against him, in a low desperate whisper he said, "Bella, I lied."

I looked at him in confusion.

"Bella, when I left. When I told you that I didn't love you anymore, I lied."

A choked sob caught in my throat, "You … lied… to me ?"

He tugged my face up so that he was looking me straight in the eye. His eyes were blazing. Golden fire. I was transfixed. Then he continued, even with my enhanced vampire hearing, I was straining to hear him, he was speaking so fast.

"Bella, I lied to you, when I left you, I lied. After what happened, with Jasper at your party, it made me realise, you weren't safe with me ! Bella, I wanted you to have a real life, a normal human life. I needed you to be safe ! I thought that I could protect you, but you weren't even safe around me ! I couldn't even hold your hand while Carlisle was stitching you up ! You deserved better than me, you deserved someone who could give you a normal life, someone you could grow old with, have children, grandchildren ! You deserved to be safe ! Not with a monster who thirsted for your blood ! And you weren't even safe when I left !"

As I listened to his tirade, I couldn't help but believe him, every word rang with sincerity and pain.

He kept speaking, as if he couldn't bear to stop, "But Bella, how could you believe me ? How could you just believe me ! I knew I had to try, to try and make you believe me so you could move on faster, to make it easier on you, but how could you just believe me ? I told you I loved you a thousand times and you let those few, cruel words negate all of that !"

He kept talking after that, but I couldn't listen anymore, because the hole had disappeared, as if it had never existed in the first place, I felt whole. But this time I wasn't pretending. This was real, honest to God real. He loved me. I gasped at the realisation. He loved me. The same way I loved him. In an unbreakable way that even time couldn't diminish.

Then I realised he was still talking. "… Bella please, just tell me now if you can forgive me. I swear Bella, if you say you don't love me anymore then I'll go, I'll never bother you again, but please know, Bella I love you and I'm sorry, so sorry that I put you through all this, that you were changed because of my stupidity, but I've always loved you, I always will."

"You lied to me ! How could you think that I'd move on ? Did you really doubt my love for you so much ?" I shouted angrily.

"No Bella, I just … I wanted you to be safe. I thought because you were human that you could just … move on, I thought a clean break would make things easier for you."

"I'm sorry, Bella." He said softly.

Then he pulled away, turning his back to me, starting to walk away.

I, somehow, remained upright as he pulled away. Even as a vampire he could still dazzle me, turning my legs to jelly.

But he wasn't waiting for an answer, he thought that I didn't love him, that I wouldn't take him back. He had no hope I could still love him. He still loved me, he was just trying to keep me safe.

I gasped at the realisation. And I wasn't letting him go again.

Then ran over to where he'd stopped as he heard the noise.

I reached up to his face, holding it gently between my palms as I pulled his face down to meet mine. I pressed my lips to his. He reacted immediately, wrapping one arm tightly around my waist, while the other cradled my head, keeping my mouth against his. My hands tangled in his hair, my fingers gripping the drenched, silky locks.

His lips were hard against mine, asking a million unspoken questions, and I, in turn, answering every one of them.

His tongue slid against my bottom lip, begging for entrance, I granted immediately. We were crossing the boundaries, the ones he'd so firmly set down when I was human. But those boundaries weren't necessary, he couldn't hurt me anymore.

His sweet breath swirled in my mouth, our tongues battling for dominance. And we didn't have to stop because of old, stupid necessities, like breathing.

He pulled away after a few moments, both of us panting. His arms tightened around me, unwilling to let me go.

He looked down at me uncertainly. He was still unsure of how I felt about him. I looked deep into his smouldering topaz eyes as I whispered, "I love you, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen." His eyes glowed, the golden flames burning even brighter. "I love you too Isabella Marie Swan, I always have."

I smiled, "Flynn," I corrected. "What ?" he asked, confusion in his eyes. "Isabella Marie Swan Flynn."

"Oh, sorry Bella," he grinned, happiness lighting his features. A small seductive smirk played on his lips as he leaned down to whisper in my ear, "But you know, I always thought that Isabella Marie Swan Cullen would sound pretty good," He kissed me just beneath my earlobe, "Maybe even better."

If I was human I would've been blushing by then. He looked back up at me, a mischievous, crooked grin on his face. Then grin I loved.

Instead I whispered back, "Don't let Ciara hear you say that." Well, that distracted him, "Who's Ciara ?"

"My adopted mom," I clarified, smiling slightly.

"You have a family ?"

"Yep, Ciara and two sisters, Jen and Lucy." "Wow."

Ok, now I was confused. Hadn't the Cullens told him everything already. "Didn't everyone tell you ?" I questioned.

"They might have," he agreed, "But to be honest, I didn't really hear anything after they told me you were alive."

"Can vampires go into shock ?" I teased, feigning curiosity.

He grinned. "I was probably as close to a vampire going into shock as you'd get, but after all this time thinking you were dead I can't believe that you're here." He held me tighter against him, his hands pressing me to him. I laid my head gently against his chest. He pressed his lips against my hair. His breath saturating the strands as he exhaled.

Then he added, " I came back you know."

"Huh ?"

"I came back, I couldn't stay away," he admitted somewhat sheepishly, " It was about eight months after we left, I climbed into your room, but you weren't there, your scent was faint but I couldn't figure out why. I stayed there all night, hoping you were having a sleepover with Angela or something but you never came back. So I asked Charlie the next day, he was surprisingly kind, but he kept thinking, "How do I tell him ?" and then he told me, showed me where the grave was, I pretty much broke down once he left me alone there." I couldn't breathe, he'd come back for me, just two months after Laurent…

I pressed myself even tighter against him and mumbled "I'm so sorry."

He looked down at me in amazement, "I can't believe you're apologising," then he smiled, "You always surprise me."

Then he continued, "The only thing stopping me from going to the Volturi was my family, they were in such pain when we left you. And it was my fault, I couldn't do that to them again." The waves of shock and anger that coursed through me caught me off guard, "You didn't !" I said loudly through clenched teeth., "I can't believe you even considered doing that, Edward !" "Bella," he smiled happily, "Don't worry about it !"

"Edward, you actually entertained thoughts of… How could you even think about doing that ? What if something happened to me now, huh ? Would you just run off to Italy-"

"Bella," he said seriously, "Nothing will ever happen to you, I will always protect you, so we'll never have to think about that. But Bella, please tell me something ? How were you changed ?" He murmured the last part, his voice filled with pain.

I took a deep breath, I'd been hoping to put off this conversation, it would only make him feel guilty. He'd always shouldered the blame for everything bad that happened to me.

"It was about six months after you … you know, I was in the meadow and Laurent was there. Victoria had sent him to kill he wasn't thirsty, but when he found out you'd left, he changed me instead, said Victoria would think it a better punishment for guys killing James, he knew you wouldn't want me changed." His eyes turned black, hard as I told him what had happened, I could tell what he was thinking, he was hating himself.

His hands balled up into fists and a feral snarl ripped from his chest. "Edward !" I hissed, "Calm down ! I'm okay !" "Bella how can you say that, don't try to be kind ! You were attacked ! You were changed ! And it's my fault ! This is all because of me ! How can you stand there and say you love me after all I've done to you !" then it was time for me to say something, he had to understand, "Because I do love you ! Edward, you did what you thought was right ! And I love you for trying to protect me, messed up as it was."

I kissed him again, this kiss was slow, gentle. The heat of our earlier passion cooled by the depth of our love. Then I pulled away, just realising how late it was, I tried to free myself of Edward's arms but he just tilted my head up, his eyes locked on my face, "Bella what is it ? Did I do something wrong ? I'm so-" I silenced him with a kiss. Oh God, the taste of his lips on mine was something I'd never get over. He nipped on my bottom lip, before pulling it gently into his mouth and biting down slightly. I moaned against his mouth and he released my lips, grinning. He pulled his mouth away, moving his face down so his nose was skimming just under my jaw. Planting tiny, butterfly kisses there, making it very had for me to pull away. My hand were still tangled in his wet bronze hair, revelling in the softness of it…

In a shaky voice I managed to whisper, "Edward, my family will be… looking … for… me."

He pulled his face up to mine, murmuring, "You are so beautiful," in an awed voice. I bowed my head against his chest, embarrassed. Thanking God that I couldn't blush anymore.

Then he released his grip on my waist, slipping one hand into mine. "Come on then," he said happily. "What ?" "I don't want your family to be worried about you."

Ok, this was not a good idea. I'd seen how Ciarareacted when she thought Edward was back with the rest of the Cullen's. This would not be good. "Edward it might be best for me to tell them first," I mumbled, biting my bottom lip.

"Bella," he said, looking down at me, "I don't think I could leave you again, even if I wanted to, I'm coming." "Alright," I sighed, "but they mightn't like you too much right now," I warned him.

A shadow of pain crossed over his face, "It's nothing less than I deserve," he murmured quietly.

He had to understand, he did what he thought was best, he tried to keep me safe, it was dumb, but he did it with the best of intentions. "Edward, stop, you did what you thought was right."

I stood up on my tiptoes, leaning up to place a sweet, tender kiss on his lips. His eyes were glowing as I pulled away, but still retained the misery.

We walked slowly towards my house, through the dripping trees, the rustle and crackle of the leaves in the undergrowth made the only noise in the dark forest. There was no need for words now. The silence was comfortable. Before we emerged from the trees surrounding my house, he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me gently. "Edward, are you going to leave again ?"

He pulled my chin up so that I was looking right into his eyes, "Bella, I will always be here, I don't make the same mistake twice, I've spent the last hundred years miserable without you, I'll never be able to do that again. I'll be here until you send me away."

"Never," I vowed.

His eyes smouldered, "Then I'll always be here." He kissed me again gently as we walked slowly up the driveway.

A/N - Was it fluffy enough for you ? I hope so, this was my first time writing anything fluffy ! So let me know ! Please review, review, review ! They motivate me ! So you'll get updates faster ! I know, evil right !