I walked in to my dressing room, I wasn't in the mood to do this particular show...or any other show this week. I don't want to work with Shane Gray. Did I mention I'm allergic to arrogant pop stars. Especially pop stars named Shane Gray.
"Hello Mitchie," Sandra, my make up artist, chided.
"Hey," I replied lamely.
I sat on the chair and she began to apply make up on my face.
"Are you excited to be cooking with Mr, Shane?"
"No," I replied curtly, "Why would I want to work with a selfish, self centered, conceited, arrogant-"
"Those are a lot of hurtful words coming from a vegetable chopper," Shane said as he popped in to the room.
"I am not a vegetable chopper, I am a well recognized chef for your information,"
"Not in my world," Shane said.
"Oh, you mean the world, where you're a rockstar and women throw themselves at your feet,"
"So you've visited, good. Mitchieville seems boring,". He replied as he took a seat next to me, someone working on the monstrosity that he calls hair.
This is going to be interesting.
--------Meals With Mitchie--------
"Welcome to Meals With Mitchie, today will be our first show for our A Week In The World's Kitchen," I said to the camera, "I would like to introduce my guest Shane Gray, later this week, we will be joined by the rest of Connect 3. So please welcome Shane Gray everyone!".
The crowd cheered. Oh, how I wished they were boo-ing.
"Hello everyone. I want to thank Mitchie for having me here today," he said kindly.
I don't buy it for one second.
"So we're gonna start off by boiling our pork. Shane if you could get the package out of the fridge that would be great. Ok, so you are going to want to leave the bone in, it'll add that little kick for flavor. So after it'd done. You can add limes. Especially when its super hot, its just delicious. Heck, you can even add shredded lettuce, which is best when crisp,. This is going to be soo good,".
I looked over at saw Shane in the same position.
"Did you get the meat?" I asked.
He shook his head.
"Ok. Well, you go ahead and chop these limes into fourths and I'll get it," I said, sliding him the basket of limes.
I went to the fridge and got the package. Opening it and placing each piece into the pot of boiling water.
Once I finished, I threw away the remains, then walking over to Shane.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
Why bother asking?
"Cutting the limes," he replied.
"I understand that, but these are in halves. Not fourths,".
"Does it matter?".
"No. Not really but-".
"Well then,".
"Ok, so after the pork is half-cooked, you're going to want to add the hominys and a good sized amount of chili powder," I said, "I already have my can of hominys ope-,".
Crash!
"Oops," Shane said, picking up the now empty can of hominys.
"Thats ok, always good to have a back- up of everything," I said.
I'm about to kill him.
"We'll be back with more. Stay tuned," I said, dismissing us to commercial.
--------Meals With Mitchie--------
"And we're back! So by now, the meat should be half-done. Your chili powder and hominys should be swimming with it,".
Shane let out a scoff. My guess it was probably mocking my cooking humor.
Gosh, if he were anymore annoying I could possibly kill myself. I stirred the Pozole in an aggravated fashion, causing some to spill out of the pot and onto Shane's pants.
"My bad," I said.
Shane didn't say anything. I, instead of helping Shane clean up I simply kept stirring the pot. Content with myself...
Until.
Shane cracked an egg.
On my head!
"Oops, my bad," he said with a smirk.
"You know what Gray," I said wiping away the egg yolk running down my face.
"What Torres?!".
"Try the soup!" I yelled flinging the ladel of soup at him.
Too bad my elbow hit the pot and its spilled all over the floor. The crowd gasped...and Shane slipped. The red liquid staining his white shirt.
"Have fun trying to get that out," I said.
Then...the asshole kicked me, and I fell to the floor getting my jeans soaked. I jumped on top of him, slamming his head on the floor making sure it got wet. Poor hair. Well atleast it looks better now.
"The hair!" Shane shouted, as he knocked me off.
Shane stood up and reached under the counter and took out a package.
The flour.
He wouldn't dare.
Shane opened the packet and flung it towards me. I was now convered in white powder.
Oh, he's dead.
Tackling his knees, I brought him down to the floor.
After about a minute or two of rolling around on the soup-soaked floor, I kneed Shane in the place you don't want to be kneed and used the counter to get myself up safely.
I was panting from my 'workout', so that looked totally wrong. Great.
"We'll be back after these messages," I gasped to the camera.
--------Meals With Mitchie--------
"Do you have to keep watching that," I complained to Heath.
"Yes, that's the reason they invented Tivo," he replied, his gaze not moving from the screen.
"This is so embarrasing,".
"Geez Mitch, I'm not gonna lie. That was pretty awesome. You totally brought new meaning to day time TV," Heath said, combing out my now washed hair.
"Thank," I said, "I'm pretty sure I have a hominy stuck in my ear,".
"Wouldn't doubt it, it looked like you two got down and dirty," Heath said.
"Oh shut up, will you,".
"You know you're going to be on 'E!' for like...the next month right? You'll probably be on one of those years greatest moments specials,".
"Shut. Up,".
"I'm just saying,".
"Please don't, this is awful, I still have to deal with him for four more days....unless," I said getting up from the floor.
"Mitchie, don't go there," Heath warned.
"Unless," I repeated, "I fake sick, I mean how hard is it to fake pneumonia,"
"Mitchie, listen to yourself, you sound like a psycho,".
I fell back on the couch, "I know,".
"Get off the couch, you're going to get it yet, and your hair is going to smell like sofa," Heath said.
"I've made up my mind. If the studio calls...Tell them I died in an eighteen-wheeler accident,".
"Are you ever going to be rational or just stupid,".
"Stu-...HEY!".
Heath laughed at my unfourtunate situation.
"Hey, this is serious. I looked like a total idiot," I said, leaving the living room.
After discovering I had nothing to do, aimlessly walking around my house. I went back to the living room. On the television, was me. Covered in flour, looking completely horrible.
"I can't believe you're watching this!" I yelled.
"What?! Theres nothing on TV," Heath said, flipping the channel.
Note to self: New housemate.
That's a wrap for this chapter. Thanks to everyone who was reviewed! MAKES ME FEEL AWESOME. REVIEW!