A/N: So the first chapter was supposed to be the only story I wrote that involved this. But than I realized I have some really funny lines that I can't use in my stories, so I made a little series of one-shots with funny lines that Twilight characters will never have with each other, but it still amuses us. I hope you enjoy. :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.
This is the first and only time, that Bella is going to get pregnant in any of my stories and only because this is a parody!
Emmett's Theory
"Edward," I forced my eyes away from the strip that I had just peed on. "I'm pregnant."
Edward's eyes widened and I was pretty sure if vampires could faint, he would have. We had just become sexually active and due to the fact that he was dead, we didn't bother to take the necessary precautions other couples might use to protect themselves from this situation.
"How could this happen?" He shook his head.
"You were there!" I screamed at him. "You tell me."
Edward frowned. "I knew I should have listened to Emmett when he told us his theory."
"Emmett was right." I looked at Edward and frowned. "We can't let him find out about this." I shook my head.
"We'll say that you cheated on me."
"Yeah," I nodded. "I cheated on you."
"Emmett was right." Edward shook his head in amazement. "Vampires really can make humans pregnant by using warming gel."
End.
A/N: I fell over laughing when this idea came to my head. In my story S&V Emmett told Bella his theory about warming gel getting humans pregnant and so this was kind of taken from that idea. It's not funny unless you've read Sex and Vampires. No Emmett in this one, but whatever. I still think it's funny. This will be updated with just random burst of great ideas, so don't (or maybe do) expect fast updates for this story.
Daddy's Little Cannibal