A/N: So I think this is funny. You might not. I don't know, I guess it's just the irony that's funny…
Disclaimer: I don' town Twilight.
Irrational Fears
"Hello Renee," Alice opened the door for Renee. I smiled at her before joining Alice in giving her a tight hug. My mom was over to help Alice pick out wedding things. Edward and I were here to monitor things. My mom and Alice, though they do like each other, had a tendency to rip out each other's throats when they're together talking about the wedding.
"Bella," Renee said my name in disapproval. "You're so pale." She grabbed my arm and held it against her tan arm
"Well there's not much sun here." I mumbled pulling my arm away.
"You're a like a vampire," Renee giggled. I stiffened in shock and glanced at Edward and Alice. Alice was giggling along with Renee and Edward was chuckling next to me.
"A vampire Renee?" Edward asked, raising an eyebrow.
Renee nodded before smiling. "When Bella was little," She wrapped her tan arm around me and pushed me closer to her chest. "She used to a very irrational fear of vampires sneaking into her room in the middle of the night."
My eyes widened and my mouth tightened. "Mom," I choked out. "I'm pretty sure Alice and Edward don't want to hear this."
"No," Alice jumped in. "I would love to hear this." She couldn't hide the amusement in her voice.
"Every night before Bella went to bed, she used to stuff garlic in pajama pants, lock all her windows, and sleep with a sharpened stick that a friend of hers made in shop class." Renee continued to embarrass me as she rubbed my arm.
"I don't think it was an irrational fear." I mumbled to myself.
"Bella," Renee pulled me away from her chest. "You had a fear of a vampire sneaking into your room in the middle of the night." She didn't have to say anything else. To a normal person that was a very irrational fear.
"You know what Renee," Edward took Renee's place and pushed me closer to his chest. "I have to agree with Bella. She has every right to worry about a vampire sneaking into her room in the middle of the night." Edward gave me his famous crooked smile before following Renee and Alice into the TV room.
"She has every right to worry about a vampire sneaking into her room in the middle of the night." I mimicked under my breath. "Of course I have to worry about a vampire sneaking into my room in the middle of the night. You are a vampire."
End.
A/N: So you know, none of these chapters are connected. They're just random one-shots that I think are cute. I thought this was amusing. Not really funny as much as amusing. It's a little funny. :D
Daddy's Little Cannibal