Hello! It's old TohruEmber … well not old, ha. I still can't get over the many reviews this story has received. I'm very grateful. Though I did miss a few people's reviews. Thank you though for those who did!

I want you to get to know Joseph a little bit more! And then the next chapter and onwards it should be getting more Romy.

Please enjoy the next instalment of:

Blessed

Chapter Nine

My Secret Eden

Hello! Mah name is Marie Darkholme an' ah've come t' know a terrible secret! After mah aunt Irene moved back to Mississippi, the Xavier's took me in. Ah soon learned that the Xavier family lives with a curse! Thirteen members (three o' whom ah live with) are each possessed by the vengeful spirit of an animal from the Chinese Zodiac! They transform into their chosen animal whenever a member of the opposite sex embraces them, or when they become weak!

New Years was so much fun! Ah'm really happy ah got t' spend it with Joseph an' Hank. But even though ah've known them all this time, ah know ah hardly know anything about them. Ah wonder how Joseph feels about his life …?

~~~ Bayville High School ~~~

Being the rat, a lot of Zodiacs and members in the family had a cause to hate me. Being Charles's toy, I was always envied. Didn't anyone realise that being the rat was no privilege? Why do they all envy me when really, I'm the cursed one of all? No one … no one saw me for me until …

'Hello, Joseph!' she called out as I entered the classroom.

Marie Darkholme. What an unusual girl. I've never met anyone like her. She accepted us like … like we were normal. Who could possibly do that? How can you possibly link the word normal to the Xavier's?

I greeted her with a smile and watched her as she took a seat near her two friends, the loud but friendly British girl Miss Braddock, and the peculiar Miss Sage. I felt a hard push on my shoulder as Remy shoved me with his own shoulder.

'Watch it,' he growled as he came into the classroom. Why bother retorting?

I went to take a seat near Miss Darkholme who had taken out a deck of cards similar to the ones she had used at her sleepover, before I heard someone call me. 'Joseph …' I turned round to see Miss Danvers stood before me, her bright, brilliant blonde hair cascading past her shoulders. 'Can I have a word with you outside the classroom?'

Not wanting to be rude I said, 'Of course', though I was wary of what she wanted and how it may concern me. I suppose the thought of the curse was the first thing to creep up in my mind.

Closing the classroom door behind me, I put on a smile and faced her.

'I like you,' she said almost immediately before I could ask why she wanted. My smile faded. 'I like you, Joseph. Very much. And for a long time now. I'd like it if … if … if we could be together …'

I was more confused than anything else. Did she not realise how useless I was? How pathetic I was? I'm nothing. Nobody except a cursed member of a dysfunctional family. I'm nothing special. I'm not good enough to be liked by someone. I don't even know who I am. So how can someone else like me …?

'I'm sorry. I'm just not interested in going out with anyone right now,' I explained to the despondent-looking girl. How many times had I had to give this speech? For some reason beyond my knowledge, girl after girl insisted to confess their feelings to me. And time after time I had to tell them the same thing as if I had memorised it by now. 'There are plenty of other people I'm sure you're more suited to. So I have to refuse your –'

'You're cruel,' the girl whispered. I blinked. 'You're always rejecting other people! You act so nice, and so polite to people, but it's all just a mask, isn't it? Tell me I'm wrong!'

I was taken aback. That certainly 'pressed a button' as they say.

She looked away from me with contempt. 'All the girls like you and talk about how nice you are. Haven't you noticed? They all say you're special. Is that why you don't want a normal person to be your girlfriend? Is it to ordinary for you?!'

Before I could reply – which evidently I couldn't – Miss Danvers walked away. I gazed at her until she disappeared.

Too ordinary for me? No. No it's not that at all. I'm not ordinary, you're right about that. But I'm not special. I'm the opposite of that. Can't you see? I may be good at certain tasks, I may be good with studying or tests, but as a person – I'm not anything extraordinary. I looked down to the floor sadly. I'm not worth anything.

As I came back inside the classroom, all the students were croweded around the table Miss Darkholme, her friends and the cat were sat at, playing Rich Man Poor Man. Remy slammed his cards onto the table with a sly grin – arrogant cat. 'Revolution,' he announced.

A few people gasped.

'What!' shouted Betsy, shocked. 'You son of a … What kind of cheap trick are you playing?!'

I find myself liking this British girl. Now that stupid cat can annoy her. Btu she'd put up as much fight as I do – maybe even more.

'It's de rules!' the cat yelled back at her. 'Looks like I win!'

'Hold on one moment,' a dark voice said. That voice always sent a shiver down my spine. All looked to Miss Sage who showed her cards. 'Counter revolution.'

'What?!'

'Ha ha, looks like she got you, Rem-Rem,' laughed one of the boys.

'Man you suck, Rem-Rem,' chuckled another boy.

'Don' call me Rem-Rem, damn it!'

'Wait a go, Tessa!'

As I stood watching them all surrounding the angry-looking Remy, the students laughing, smiling, joking, I felt a volcano trembling inside of me, ready to erupt any moment.

'Joseph … You're always rejecting other people …'

And yet, there was that stupid cat that has everything I want, still complaining he wants to be a part of my world. The very world I've been trying to escape all my life.

I walk away.

~~~~ Later ~~~~

'Next time I'll win,' growled the cat as he wiped the chalkboard with an eraser. As he had lost the game, the deal was that he would do Miss Sage's classroom duties for the week. I wouldn't have thought the Cajun would have had any honour and would have walked away from his bet, but he proved me wrong. I flinched as I felt a little bit of admiration for him.

'Dat damn Tessa…'

Miss Darkholme came into the room and began to stack up the chairs. Remy told her – or rather shouted at her – to not help him, but as always she insisted.

Resenting the feeling I had just experienced towards him, I said, 'So it appears you can win in anything, doesn't it?' Normally I try not to start the argument, but today, quite frankly, I want a fight with that stupid cat.

'Don' get smug, rat!' Remy clenched his fists. 'I'll beat you too!'

I sighed. 'Don't you ever get tired of saying that?'

'Beatin' you is mah vocation! It's mah one goal in life!'

Some goal.

'It's quite unfair that I keep having to take abuse just because you can't meet your goals.'

Remy growled and threw his eraser to the floor, pushing himself at me. I grinned. This was quite easy. 'Dat condescendin' attitude o' yours really pisses me off!'

'Can you please not be so vile as to spit on my face when you speak?' I said calmly.

'You bastard! I'll take you down!'

'R-Remy,' I heard Miss Darkholme mutter.

'Say ya prayers, ya heartless rat!'

His fist came at me; I simply blocked it with my hand, the force of the impact hardly hurting me. I was about to push him backwards, deciding he was not worth it, but then …

'Joseph … You're always rejecting other people …'

'You're not needed.'

I narrowed my eyes, remembering how everyone had surrounded Remy.

'Man you suck, Rem-Rem.'

And then with my other fist, punched that cat in the stomach. He fell to his knees at once.

I glared down at him. 'I'm really getting sick just looking at you,' I said.

'Damn it,' said Remy, coughing. Miss Darkholme was at his side, patting his back and not really knowing what to say. I felt guilty for putting her in such a difficult position. I know she'd want to get involved, but also I think she knew it was best not to. He remained on the floor, unable to get up. 'You wen' all out on me t'day. Whatever pissed ya off I'd like t' t'ank it.'

I turned my back on them both and left without comment.

~~~~ Home Sweet Home ~~~~

Today she wore a green top with shorts – her indoor clothes as she called them. I like it when she ties her hair up, leaving her white streaks to frame her pretty face.

Miss Darkholme had prepared breakfast for us – a special treat: pancakes – before anyone else was up, apart from me.

I sat down at the table, eating her delicious pancakes in silence. It wasn't uncomfortable though. With Miss Darkholme I always feel like the silences are alright unfilled and she didn't seem to mind either as she hummed to herself whilst cooking.

I clenched my fist. I had stayed awake all night deciding whether or not to tell her. But after a long war between myself and my conscience, I'd decided for it. But how could I begin? It's something simple probably – she may not even find it a big deal. To me though … to me it is. I've never met anyone I've wanted to tell this too, I never thought I would. Would she think I was … pathetic?

As I watched Miss Darkholme flip a pancake, almost missing the catch, I found myself talking already.

'Miss Darkholme,' I said.

She turned to me, smiling. 'Yes?'

'There's …' I thought about how to say it, but suddenly felt foolish. Why was I having such difficulty telling her? After all, it really wasn't an amazing secret … Yet I still wanted to tell her. 'There's something I want to show you, something I haven't shown anyone else before.'

She tilted her head to the side.

'It's my own, personal secret.' I smiled. 'Would you be interested to see it?'

It was a moment before she smiled and said, 'Yes ah really would!'

So I had taken the first big step. And before long, I and Miss Darkholme put our walking shoes on, changed into more suitable clothing for winter, and made our way out of the house.

Where I wanted to take her wasn't far. It was still on the Xavier estate, but an undiscovered part, you might say. When I had moved from the main house to Hank's I thought I'd do something I always wanted to do.

'It's pathetic …' I remembered Charles's words clearly.

'It's such a nice day out!' I heard Miss Darkholme exclaim as she peered up to the winter sun. 'Ah can' wait 'till spring comes!'

I laughed. I don't know why. Sometimes hearing the enthusiasm in her voice makes me do that. She gets excited over such little things.

My heart beat faster as we came nearer. Miss Darkholme still had no idea where I was taking her. I could turn back, I could say it didn't matter, or pretend it was something else.

'We're almost there,' I said. Even though I wanted to turn back, I couldn't. Even though I wanted to change my mind, I couldn't. I wanted to show her this. I wanted her to understand me better.

'It's pathetic …'

I looked to Miss Darkholme again; she was watching her steps carefully over the forest ground.

'Here we are,' I mumbled as we turned a corner.

'A flower garden!' Miss Darkholme gasped as she ran over to the flowerbed and knelt on the grass. 'Did you plant these?!'

'Yes …' I replied quietly, not sure if her reaction was good or bad.

'Joseph, this is amazing!'

I blinked. It was? I knelt beside her.

'Look at all these flowers! They're all winter ones!'

'It's not … stupid … it's not … pathetic of me?' I asked.

'Huh? What are ya crazy?' she said. 'It's beautiful! Ah can' believe ya kept this a secret f'r so long!'

I frowned.

'Joseph, are you okay?' Miss Darkholme asked. 'You look sad.'

There's something about this girl – I can't explain it. But every time I look at her, I feel the need to open up, to cry like a child – knowing that she would kindly listen, knowing that she would accept me. I felt stupid. Yet, I can never stop myself.

I looked away from her, as though it was lessen the feeling of how pitiable I was. 'When I was at the main house it felt like I was in a cage being watched by the family and Charles. I'd forever wanted to have a normal life surrounded by normal people, so I applied to a co-ed school and left home. But I couldn't get out of the cage after all. I just ended up in another Xavier house, and I still can't associate with normal people.'

'Joseph … You're always rejecting other people …'

My eyes narrowed. 'I don't mean to turn them away. But some part of me can't deal with people. I cut myself off from other people because … I'm afraid I'll get hurt. And … because of … of what I am. The hesitation and fear won't go away.' My fists that were tightly clenched loosened. 'But Remy is extremely different. He may act angry all the time with the unwanted attention, but like I said before, if he gets used to being around people, I think he's the sort of person that attracts other people … that has many friends. Even if he can't join the Zodiac because he's the cat, he might be able to interact with normal people and have a normal life.'

I always wished I could be like that too, I thought. While all the normal people surround him, I'm on my own in the dark, watching …

'That's why I get annoyed when I look at Remy who wants to be an Xavier.'

'Ah still can' quite understand …' I heard Miss Darkholme say. I still couldn't look at her. 'You attract a lot o' people too, Joseph. A lot o' girls say ya very kind – an' they're right.'

Girls said that? My cheeks felt a little hot. I push girls away the most. They're what I fear. And besides, it didn't matter what they thought. As I had told Miss Darkholme before, they only see the side of me I show to them – the mask. Hidden beneath it is an ugly monster. Jealous. Selfish. No one can like someone like that. I'm not … I'm not a kind person.

'Ya don' believe me?' Miss Darkholme's voice sounded understanding, and I felt the temptation to look at her – but didn't. 'Mama once said t' me its better t' trust people then t' doubt them. She said that people aren' born with kind hearts. When we're born, we only have desires f'r food and material thangs. Selfish instincts ah guess. But she said that kindness is something that slowly grows inside o' all o' us. But it's up t' us to nurture it. That's why kindness is different f'r every person.'

'We're all born with selfish desires, so we can all relate to those feelings in others. But kindness is something made individually by each person. So it's easy to misunderstand when others are trying to be kind to you. But, Rogue …Rogue, believe in people and their kindness. Doubting is easy – anyone can do it. Rogue, be someone who can believe. And that can be your strength.'

'Mama taught me that people's differences are t' b' celebrated. When ah thought o' all the different shapes o' human kindness, ah got really excited. D'ya remember when ah tol' you what ah see your kindness as? Like a candle. Ah can feel it light up, an' ah jus' want t' smile.'

It's something I can't out into words. A feeling. A feeling so incredible, it's unexplainable. Her words, simple maybe, brought so much warmth to me. I could feel my candle's flame getting stronger. I finally looked at her.

She was smiling at me, but then her face dropped. 'Ah'm bein' too weird f'r ya now, aint ah?'

'Oh no … no …' I said, deep in thought. 'Now I just feel so pathetic for whining at you like that.'

'Don' b'! Ah'm happy ya could open up t' me,' Miss Darkholme insisted. 'When ya tell me about yourself, it jus' shows we're becomin' better friends!'

My candle became brighter, my heart became content – how could a girl like this, be here with me, listening to my problems?

'F'r the first time,' she said, 'ah think ah've seen ya true smile.'

I blushed; I wondered what she meant. Then I could feel it. My smile. For the first time in a long time, I was smiling … because I was happy. Me. Happy.

'So,' she said, brining me back to reality. 'Why did ya start t' plant these?'

My heart thudded.

'It's pathetic …' I remembered how I had asked Charles if I could plant a nursery for flowers when I was much younger; I explained my reasons, too. 'Why? You're not needed.' And so, after hearing it so many times … it became true. I wasn't needed in any way. I was just there. I was here only because I was a Zodiac. I'm here only because of Charles.

I glanced at Miss Darkholme who was awaiting an answer. Would she think me stupid? Would she find my reason pathetic … like Charles did?

I took a deep breath. 'I don't grow these plants for any particular reason,' I began. 'I just had an urge to try and make something. Anything. It really didn't matter. But I found I enjoyed planting these flowers, I was good at it. I was glad because I just wanted to make sure I had the power to make something. Maybe I wanted to know if I could create something wonderful with my own hands. If there could be something in this world that couldn't exist without me. I wanted to be needed.'

I found some courage to look at her. I was surprised to put it bluntly – her soft emerald eyes were gleaming at me, her lips upwards in a full beam, it was such a sincere look that I was speechless.

'That's wonderful,' she whispered. 'Ah can understand that too. Ah wanna b' needed.' Miss Darkholme reached for a flower and gently touched the white petal. 'Ah think everyone wants t' b' needed, because it means they have a reason t' live. Even if it's something that may seem small. 'Coz … we're all needed.'

I stared at her as she was admiring the flowers.

'It's pathetic …'

'Ah can understand that too.'

There was an odd sensation in my eyes.

'You're not needed.'

'…we're all needed.'

I smiled.

Thank you, I thought, blinking my tears back. Maybe he was wrong – Charles. Maybe I am needed. Maybe I'm not just here because I'm a Zodiac. Maybe I'm here because I'm needed by something else. I stared at the flowers moving back and forth by the soft winter breeze. For now, it's for something small. Maybe one day, I will be needed by something else.

I took a flower and gave one to Miss Darkholme; she took it and smelt it. I laughed with her as she sneezed.

Maybe someone.

'End 9/22 ~

As you can see, it says 9/22 – but I plan to carry it on. I just will take a break for a week or so. I guess it's to symbolise each stage of the story. This 'set' is more or less the introduction. The next (which seeing the reviews so far I'm likely to do) one will be even more into the curse and story.

So there is chapter nine! I know it was short but I didn't want to make it too long. This was Jogue wasn't it? Haha. Sorry! Look forward to some Romy though!

PLEASE REVIEW so that I know I should continue posting or not!!! =D

Next Chapter!!! Marie: Life gets very exciting when a member of the Zodiac shows up! But he's nothing like ah thought he would be. An' somehow a lot of trouble comes our way .. especially f'r poor Remy! An' not only that, but ah come face t' face with the Bayville Stalker! Luckily Remy is bah mah side. Yet, there's something odd about him …Join me, Marie, in the next chapter to find out what happens next!