The woman said to the serpent, "We may eat of the fruit of the tress in the garden; but God said, 'You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the middle of the garden, nor shall you touch it, or you shall die.'"
Genesis 3:2-3
Sophomore Year, Fall Semester
Justin receives the first one two weeks after his return to Columbia. It's short and sweet. The handwriting is familiar so he assumes it's from Kate.
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Morning without you is a dwindled dawn. - Emily Dickinson
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Harper tries to talk to her on the first day of school. And since she has this new plan that involves being an actual person, she smiles at her childhood friend and nods along as she listens to her story.
The day passes quickly, not that Alex really has any concept of time anymore, but hey, she's trying. She remembers The Plan and invites Harper over after school.
Teresa smiles brightly at her only daughter when she comes home from school that day with Harper in tow. She rushes towards the pair and insists that Alex take the day off and catches up with her friend.
Alex agrees and smiles (she thinks) at her mother and drags Harper up to the loft.
"Oh, wow." Harper murmurs as she glances around at Alex's room. She takes in the made bed, the bare walls, pile of CDs on the floor and the ancient looking volumes on the desk. This is way too subdued to be Alex Russo's bedroom. But as she continues looking around she takes in Alex's outfit and realizes with some disdain that it matches.
"What?"Alex questions; did she leave something out? Something about Justin? She takes in her room and quietly sighs in relief when she notices it's how she left it this morning.
Harper just shakes her head, "Nothing. Just…I guess I didn't realize how much you changed."
"Oh." Well, Alex thinks to herself, that's probably a good thing.
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The heart has its reasons which reason knows not of. –Blaise Pascal
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They're not from Kate. He thanked her for them, took in her perplexed look and then showed them to her.
"Aww," she coos and leans into him. "That's adorable, Justin."
He grins at this and wraps an arm around her slender waist. "Yeah, I guess it is."
She pecks his cheek, "Just remember that you're mine, okay? I mean, this girl can crush on you all she wants, but you're mine."
His smile widens and he kisses her hard, "Of course."
Their kisses progress and they make their way to his small bed and Justin thinks that tonight might be the night when the phone rings and Kate's groaning in disappointment when he jumps from the bed to answer it.
"Y'ello?" He asks and his heart maybe skips a beat when there's a familiar laugh on the other end and his sister replies, "Seriously, Justin? You still think that's cool? I thought you were learning at college."
Kate watches her boyfriend, at first quietly amused at his confused look, but then frowns when he smiles so big and breathlessly laughs, "Alex," into the phone.
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There is no remedy for love but to love more. –Henry David Thoreau
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Alex is proud of herself. She's managing to go to school, work at the sub station and hang out with Harper. So, she figures that The Plan is doing rather well.
She called Justin one night in October and has been calling him twice a week since. It was hard the first time (especially when she heard her sigh distastefully in the background) but now she's to the point that she'll take any little part of Justin that he'll offer. Even if all he remains is her older brother.
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The Plan:
Act normal (Whatever that means.)
Interact with other (this means acknowledging them, talking to them.)
Maintain grades (mom and dad responded well to the decent ones.)
Go to church (try confessional, just attending it isn't working as well as hoped.)
Stay clean (it helps for some reason.)
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Harper stays the night late in November and everything seems almost right.
But when Alex brings in the movie that they planned on watching, she finds Harper sifting through her things. She watches her quietly for a few moments but Harper must sense her presence because she turns around.
Alex takes in the worn notebook in her hands, her red rimmed eyes and the thoroughly disgusted look on her face. Alex sighs heavily, her shoulders sagging and begins to cry herself.
Harper knows.
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Justin sleeps with Kate a week before Christmas break. He feels bad because he comes too soon and Kate didn't really enjoy herself. She assures him that it'll get better with practice.
He grins at her and what her words imply.
So they go at it like bunnies for the next few days.
He calls Alex and tells her. He doesn't know why.
She's quiet for a few minutes, lets out a shaky sob and tells him she has to go.
He can tell she's jealous. But he can't be sure if she's jealous of him losing his virginity first or if….
But that's crazy. And disgusting. He swallows the bile that rises in his throat.
He wonders if she's jealous of Kate.
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Christmas is tense, to say the least.
Jerry and Teresa assumed wrong when they thought that Alex was almost back to her normal self. Her grades are still superb (which is still odd but they know not to complain), but she's stopped talking to Harper, she's even more reserved than she was during the summer and Jerry (he doesn't tell this to Teresa because she's worried enough) hears her crying every night.
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She tries the confessional thing.
"Bless me father, for I have sinned. It's been…." She sighs heavily and shifts in the uncomfortable seat. "I've never done this before…"
The priest assures her that that's okay and encourages her to continue.
She tries. But the longer she takes to figure out how to word it, the more nervous she becomes. The priest is patient, but she can't do it.
So she runs.
Sophomore Year, Spring Semester
Everything is wrong with Alex again. And Justin takes all the blame because she was okay before he told her about Kate.
He thinks he's getting close to what all of this odd behavior means, but he doesn't know what he's more afraid of.
Being right.
Or being wrong.
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Alex applies to NYU. There's no point in trying to get in to a college out of state. Yes, she's dramatic, but she's not about to move across the country because she's experiencing unrequited love. It's not like she's the first person to suffer through it.
Although she's sure most people aren't in love with their brothers.
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Justin's been thinking about Alex a lot lately.
Ever since he heard that jealousy in her voice the night he told her about Kate he's been thinking about her.
More than what he thinks is healthy and certainly not the way one should think of their little sister. Her voice that night, the hollowness to it, the sob, it's all let him think of her in ways he isn't allowed.
He thinks about her long dark locks, her warm brown eyes, her pouty mouth, her husky voice…
He breaks up with Kate in February, two days before Valentine's Day.
He only feels a little bad.
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Alex hears about it from Max who apparently only knows because he overheard their mom on the phone.
Justin dumped Kate.
Alex allows herself a small smile and continues to eat her cereal.
"Oh come on, Alex, that's a little harsh, even for you. He's our brother. You could show a little sympathy."
Alex just stares at Max for a few seconds before she nods seriously, "You're right."
Max just rolls his eyes.
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Alex calls him a few days after the breakup. "You okay?"
He shrugs to himself and says, "I will be."
Alex 'hmm's' on the other end and then they remain quiet. He listens to her steady breathing and relaxes on his bed, "I'm sorry," he whispers. He doesn't say for what.
"I know."
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Alex gets into NYU.
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Justin decides he's a sick bastard.
He doesn't know why it took him so long to realize it.
Because jerking off to thoughts of your sister is seriously wrong.
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Alex hugs him tightly when he comes home. She's decided that she's done with the plan and that she just doesn't care.
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Justin rolls his eyes when Alex suggests that they watch The Other Boleyn Girl. But she insists that it's good and come on, Natalie Portman is in it.
He sits as far away from her as possible. Which isn't that far. He's forgotten how small this bright piece of furniture is.
He likes the movie and really gets into it. He's oblivious to Alex constant glances and the way she bites her lower lip.
And then Ann asks her brother, George, to sleep with her.
Justin stiffens.
"Justin?" Alex questions.
"What?" He replies, not looking at her.
"You alright?"
He nods, "Yeah," clearing his throat, "This just ends with her getting her head chopped off, right?"
Alex nods slowly, "Right. Justin, seriously, what's wrong?"
He makes a noise and shakes his head, "Nothing, I'm going to bed."
"Okay," she says, obviously disappointed. "Goodnight."
"Night," he whispers and rushes up to his room.
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Alex passes his door a few minutes later and hears him grunt and then moan "Alex" so softly she thinks she imagined it.
But something tells her she didn't.
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Justin wakes the next morning and finds a note under his door.
Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle. - Amy Bloom
And then everything clicks.