Chapter Two of Snape the Magic Hair Care Guru. Even I was starting to believe I would never finish this chapter. Hopefully less time to put up the next chapter. Feel free to message me with any ideas of where I should take the story (I've got an outline, but there's always room for suggestion.) Enjoy the chapter and please leave me reviews!
Two days had passed since Dumbledore had pulled Harry aside to tell him about the Marriage Law. Two days in which Harry had been moody and sullen at best, prone to screaming at his friends and hexing first years at his worst. He had stopped speaking to Hermione yesterday when she told him that 'maybe it was for the best,' his marrying Snape. Ron had reacted as expected, blowing up in rage at the indignation of it all. He had helped Harry with his anger a bit by suggesting they set off a few Dungbombs in the dungeons, and then watching Filch from under the invisibility cloak blow up at every passing Slytherin on their way to dinner.
In the past two days Harry had received five more offers for marriage and, listening to Dumbledore's advice, Harry threw each of them directly into the fire without opening them. Harry wished desperately that Sirius was still alive so he could talk to him about all this. He tried discussing his anger with Hagrid but quickly found his attempts to be futile. Though Hagrid agreed the Marriage Law was a ridiculous invasion of human rights, he also believed that any plan of Dumbledore's must be the best line of action and that Harry should just try to make the best of the situation at hand. Snape couldn't possibly be that bad.
The morning of the bonding ceremony came altogether too quickly. Harry hadn't slept the night before, instead choosing to wander the halls under the invisibility cloak entertaining vague thoughts of jumping off the top of the astronomy tower. Sunrise found him in the common room staring fixedly at the fire, face tinted green with nausea. How could he possibly go through with this? It was absurd, cruel even. Given as a gay couple they couldn't conceive so copulation wouldn't be necessary (a loophole Dumbledore had found useful in getting both parties to agree,) they would still have to reside with one another.
Harry didn't know how he could possibly survive being married to Snape. They had yet to discuss the forthcoming marriage, due mostly to the extreme measures both went through in order to best avoid the other. Even still they could not prevent contact yesterday during double potions, which had ended with Harry losing twenty-five points for asking Hermione if he could borrow a quill. Just imagine how many house points he would lose leaving a wet towel on the floor.
People were beginning to wake. Harry could hear his housemates shuffling through the common room on their way to breakfast. For the most part they ignored him. His engagement had not been announced and Harry had no desire to tell anyone other than his closest friends. Hermione joined Harry on the couch after a while and sat with him in silence. When Ron came down the three of them left for breakfast.
At breakfast Harry sat himself between Ron and Hermione at the Gryffindor table. He glanced quickly up at the head table to see if Snape was having as much difficulty ingesting the food as he was, but Snape wasn't there. He considered bolting. How badly would anyone really miss him if he ran away to Greece, or South America, or Australia? Sure Voldemort might win the war if that happened, but would that really be so bad? Maybe underneath that psychotic bloodthirsty murdering facade was really a sweet little dictator just crying out for love.
There really was no hope, was there?
The Great Hall started emptying out as the students went in their different directions. Harry, Hermione, and Ron waited at the Gryffindor table until they saw Dumbledore finish his Kippurs and then followed him out onto the grounds where Snape apparently was waiting next to a carriage. Ron and Hermione looked at Harry with despair in their eyes. Neither of them had any words of hope to say. It was all Ron could do to not hex Snape into oblivion right then and there, but for the sake of the wizarding world and the promise he made Hermione, he kept his mouth shut and just shook his head.
Harry looked at Snape, his fiancé. Snape was dressed in his usual black robes which fit him loosely and were billowing in the wind. His hair hung lank around his shoulders and failed at hiding the tension in his neck. Snape glared malevolently at Harry as he said goodbye to Ron and Hermione as though this was a procession to his funeral. Close enough.
Dumbledore motioned to the carriage and said they should be getting on their way. They had a ten am appointment at the Registrars office where the civil marriage would be preformed. Hagrid was going to meet them there to serve as the second witness. Ron and Hermione trudged back up to the castle as Harry followed Dumbledore and Snape into the carriage.
The ride into Hogsmeade couldn't have been more awkward if Grawp had joined them and started a strip tease. Dumbledore kept up a mindless chatter throughout the ride, alternating asking Harry and Snape equally mundane questions in attempt to make conversation. After a few murderous death glares from Snape Dumbledore quieted down and began to hum. Harry could feel Snape glaring at him too but kept his eyes firmly out the windows as though the trees passing were the most interesting he'd ever seen.
Horrible as the ride into Hogsmeade was, as soon as the carriage began to slow Harry found himself wishing the road would never end. As soon as the carriage stopped his life as he knew it would end. He would still be Harry Potter (there were no laws requiring they change their names,) but he would now be married to Severus Snape. Harry Potter: Severus Snape's husband, the husband of Severus Snape, The-Boy-Who-Lived-Only-To-Be-Married-Off-To-A-Vindictive-Bastard. Harry found himself missing the Hungarian Horntail from his fourth year.
The next hour was a bit of a blur to Harry. He vaguely remembered sitting on a horribly uncomfortable wooden chair in an ugly waiting room with peeling cream-colored wallpaper. He remembered Dumbledore pointing out where he should sign his name, shaking the registrar's hand, the throbbing vein in Snape's temple as the registrar congratulated them. He couldn't hear a thing anyone said; there was a rushing in his head that blocked all external noise.
Harry wanted to cry as Dumbledore handed out champagne flutes and opened a bottle of bubbly. Snape seemed as though about to combust when Dumbledore proposed a toast to the happy couple, and Hagrid and the registrar cried 'hear hear!' Surely Harry must have done something absolutely awful in a past life to deserve this.
Outside the registrars office the group split into two as Hagrid and Harry wandered up the street, going in and out of shops to kill time before the Bonding Ritual. The registrar that had overseen their marriage would be performing the bonding, and once again Dumbledore and Hagrid would act as the witnesses. The Bonding Ritual was set to begin at noon.
Dumbledore had explained earlier to Harry that the Bonding Ritual would be necessary to keep the ministry from interfering with the marriage. The new law had been written to provide the wizarding community with children of magical bloodlines; however at no point had the law actually mentioned forcing the couples to have children, or banned same-sex marriages. With this loophole and the added strength of a Bonding, Dumbledore hoped to save Harry and win the war.
There was an added benefit to the Bonding, however. The Blood Ceremony ensured that a connection between Harry and Snape would be forged. The marriage allowed the connection to let one know when the other was in danger. Love and consummation, though not required, strengthened the connection, and with proper training in legilimency and occulmency the connection could grow to the point of telecommunication. Dumbledore hoped that the marriage would allow Snape and Harry to become close enough that (with their essential positions in the war,) this connection would save both their lives and allow them to come out victorious.
Hagrid tried to engage Harry in conversation but Harry was still not entirely with it. In Zonko's Joke Shop he replenished his supply of Dungbombs but didn't show much interest in any of the other items on display. At the Hogshead Hagrid bought Harry a shot of fire whiskey, claiming if he was old enough to get married he was old enough to drink. It burned Harry's throat going down but he felt a bit better afterward. At least he started to talk a bit more.
Harry confessed to his fear of how his classmates would treat him once they knew he was married, as at least the Death Eaters kids were soon to find out as soon as Snape told Voldemort. He was concerned about how this would affect his dating life. Sure he hadn't dated much before, but now he wouldn't be able to at all. He was a seventeen year old boy, how was this fair?
At ten to noon Harry and Hagrid started back to the registrar's office, walking around it to the clearing in the back where the ritual would be held. Dumbledore and Snape were waiting with the registrar in the center of a circle of stones. Two rings, a set of glasses, and an ancient stone bowl filled with a clear softly bubbling liquid sat at a low table in the circle.
"Are we ready then?" the registrar asked. Harry wondered what the man's name was, and if it had been mentioned earlier. He nodded and looked up at the man he was now married to. Snape's eyes glinted maliciously, as though he was plotting all the horrible things he could do to this man while under his Death Eater robes. Snape nodded.
"Okay. Well as instructed I will be skipping all the, er, bells and whistles so to speak, that would normally accompany the Bonding Ceremony. Just the Blood Ritual and we'll call it a day, is that right Headmaster?" the registrar looked to Dumbledore for approval. Harry wondered where the bells and whistles were. Though the fire whisky had calmed him he still felt as though he were watching the whole charade from the sidelines.
The man instructed Harry and Snape to stand opposite each other with the stone table between them, their palms outstretched. Harry did as was told. The man took his left hand and placed it in Snape's right, and then took Snape's left hand and placed it in Harry's other. Harry noticed that Snape's hands were long, dry and cracked, whereas his own were slightly calloused and damp with sweat. The man held a wand to Snape's open palm and traced the lifeline. A shimmer of blood pooled in Snape's hand. Harry refrained from flinching as he felt a white scorching heat tear a line in his hand and saw his palm fill with blood as well.
Harry and Snape were instructed to turn each others palms so that the blood flowed into the bowl. The potion turned a deep red and gave a low hiss. The registrar waved his wand over the potion and over both Snape and Harry's heads. Harry and Snape were told to lift the bowl with their bloody palms still in the others hands, and to each take a sip. Harry grimaced as the liquid burned his throat leaving a metallic taste on his tongue. As they put the bowl down Harry thought he felt Snape's hands shake faintly. Maybe he should have discussed with Snape what they were getting into beforehand, Harry thought.
The two rings on their table were slid into place, one on Harry's left hand and the other on Snape's. The bleeding in his palm had stopped, Harry noticed, though it still stung. It was final. The marriage and bonding was complete. This should be a happy moment in Harry's life but instead he felt as though he were about to puke. In an hour they would be back in the castle and Ron would be helping him put the rest of his life in his trunk, to be dragged down to the dungeons where Dumbledore informed him he would now be living.
Students were milling about the grounds as Harry, Snape, Dumbledore, and Hagrid stepped out of the carriage in front of the castle. Snape stormed off as soon as his feet touched ground and Hagrid slapped a heavy hand on Harry's shoulders and told him that Snape would 'come around.' Harry thought Hagrid had completely lost his marbles and left to go find Ron and Hermione.
Harry found his friends in the common room playing a game of Exploding Snap by the far wall. Hermione looked up as he approached and they both stood.
"Did they do it then? You're actually married?" Hermione breathed, her eyes open wide in disbelief. Harry held up his left hand and showed them the ring on his finger. Ron gasped.
"Blimey," Ron said, his face twisting in disgust. Harry suddenly found himself just wanting to be alone.
"I need to pack." Harry turned towards the boys dormitory.
"Pack? Pack for what?" Ron started.
"I'm moving." Harry said simply.
"Where?" Ron asked, honestly flabbergasted.
"To Snape's quarters, naturally. Isn't that right, Harry?" Hermione chirped. Harry looked at her standing there with her hand on her hip looking like the know-it-all she was. Harry wanted to hit her.
"Yes," he grunted. His head was pounding with unmatched fury and all he wanted to do was run away from this life, run anywhere, be anywhere but here. Ron opened his mouth in protest.
"You have to live with-"
"Ron just stop. I honestly can't fucking take it right now. Yes, he is my husband. Yes, I hate him. Yes, I now have to fucking live with the fucking greasy fucking fuck fuck of a bastard that he is. Fuck." Harry pushed the chair Ron had been sitting in earlier. A couple students milling around looked over at the disruption, but Harry didn't see them. "Why the fuck does all this goddamned shit have to happen to me for? What the hell did I ever do? I don't fucking deserve this. Fucking married to a bastard who'd just as easy see me dead under a goddamned bus."
Harry turned over the table and cards flew everywhere. A few exploded in midair and Harry laughed manically. Hermione edged towards him carefully. The portrait door opened as a few of the students by the fire edged out of the common room nervously.
"Harry?" Hermione asked carefully, her hand outstretched and reaching for his shoulder. He pushed her arm away.
"Just leave me the fuck alone, okay?" Harry glared at his friends than stormed off into the boy's dormitory. He made it about halfway up the stairs before his stomach got the best of him. He pushed open the door to the lavatory and just made it in time to toss the fire whiskey and champagne from earlier into the toilet in front of him.
Harry dry-heaved into the toilet for a few minutes after his stomach was emptied, then flushed the toilet and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He sat slumped against the wall of the W.C. and watched the water in the toilet swish and gurgle until finally it settled. Then he began to cry.
Of all the horrible things he'd been forced to live through- his parents' deaths, Sirius's death, Cedric's death, the Cruciatus Curse, being possessed by Voldemort- why now was this too being placed upon him. Hadn't he bore enough pain and suffering? Harry heard the door to the lavatory squeak open and tried to stifle his sobs and wipe clean his face. Though the stall door was locked, he still didn't want anyone seeing him like this. He could hear whispering, angry, frustrated, then footsteps.
"Harry?" Hermione's voice squeaked. "Come on out here, come on. We'll help you pack." Harry reluctantly opened the stall door and stumbled over to where Hermione and Ron were.
"Fine, but I don't want to talk." Harry said as he walked over to the sink to wash out his mouth. The three of them climbed the rest of the stairs up to the 7th year boy's dormitory where they silently packed.
After pulling the last pair of socks out from under his bed Harry closed his trunk and sat on top of it. There was nothing left to pack. He looked at his watch- it was a quarter to four. Harry swore, "Shit, I have to meet Snape in fifteen minutes." Harry reluctantly picked up his trunk and began dragging it across the room.
Hermione elbowed Ron, and he stuttered "Er, well good luck then."
"We'll see you at dinner, Harry." Hermione called after him. The door shut itself behind Harry.
--
Harry took his time as he trudged down to the dungeons, not in any particular rush to get there. Harry wondered what it would be like, living with Snape. Then he rolled his eyes at such a ridiculous question. It would be horrible, how could it be anything else? Harry couldn't imagine what kind of blackmail Dumbledore must be hanging over Snape right now to get him to submit to this. Couldn't be much worse than the fate of the wizarding world, though, could it?
Harry resented the fact that if he did not go through with this and they lost the war, even if he died too, he would be blamed. At least this way regardless of the outcome no one could say he didn't make sacrifices. He really should talk to Dumbledore about doubling their efforts to find the remaining horcruxes. The sooner they won this war the sooner he could annul this godforsaken marriage.
Harry could see Snape waiting at the foot of the stairs leading down to the dungeons, his usual scowl firmly in place.
"You're late, Potter." Snape snarled maliciously. "That will be five points from Gryffindor."
Harry's blood started to boil. "You can't do that!" Snape turned on his heel and brought his face within inches of Harry's own. Harry could see every vein in his forehead, every red blood vessel, his own reflection in those hollow black holes Snape tried to pass off as eyes.
"I can do anything I want, Potter. I am your professor and, most reluctantly I assure you, your husband, and you will obey me." Snape's voice was quiet as death. Harry's hand wrapped around his wand and he struggled to maintain self-control. He wanted badly to hex Snape into oblivion but knew he didn't stand a chance in a duel. It took all of his willpower but Harry kept his mouth closed, teeth clenched and grinding, and didn't say a word.
Snape stood straight and started down the hall again. Harry followed a step behind Snape, his trunk scraping the dungeon floor as it was dragged along. They passed the potions classroom and Snape's office, coming to a halt in front of an ancient tapestry that was fraying at the ends. A black bird sat atop the branches of an elder tree, its beady eyes watching Harry very closely.
"Nevermore." Snape growled. The raven blinked and the tapestry became a door. Harry tried not to snort aloud at Snape's choice of password, and followed him into the quarters where he would now be living.
It was exactly as Harry would have imagined Snape's rooms to be, had he ever bothered to imagine them. They were standing between what Harry assumed was the living area and the kitchenette. Nothing had been done to make the place seem cozy or livable. The dungeon floor remained bare, the walls decorated only with shelves of books and jars of god knows what.
In the living area there was a large fireplace to the left with a blue and green settee opposite it, and a chair facing the door. There was nothing separating the kitchenette from the living space, save for a small oak table with a few bottles of a lurid pink liquid and two chairs. The cabinets were also oak. Everything was spotless.
Snape pointed to a door at the far end of the room, just past the table. "That is the entrance to my laboratory, Potter. That door will remain locked at all times. You are never to enter it." Snape walked across the room and Harry noticed a gap in the wall leading to a dark hallway. Facing him were two doors. "The left door is the lavatory. The right door leads to my chambers, which you will never see. Do not ever open the door just inside the lavatory."
Snape looked at Harry and he nodded showing he understood what he was being told. Snape pointed to a door opposite the door to the lavatory. "That is your room Potter. While in these quarters I expect you to confine yourself to them as best possible. You will meet me out here at half past five so I may go over some rules with you, understood?"
Harry nodded again. Snape turned and walked away, leaving Harry alone in the dark hallway. Harry picked up his trunk and brought it into the room designated 'his,' and looked around. His room was as depressing and empty as the rest of Snape's quarters. There were no windows, no rugs, and no paintings. All that stood in the room was an armoire, a canopy bed, and a chair, all of which were dark wood. The linen on the bed was crisp and white, as was the blanket folded at the foot of the bed. Harry sighed, and began to unpack.
--
At a quarter past five Harry was laying on the bed staring at the ceiling imagining what life would have been like had Voldemort just finished him off when he was a baby. Or if Sirius had still been alive so that he could have someone in which to confide.
He wasn't particularly looking forward to dinner; he knew as soon as he got there his friends would pester him for information on what Snape's chambers looked like. Harry imagined life in the dungeons would be similar to life at Privit Drive, only back in his second year when he was locked in his room all summer.
Harry checked his watch. It was the one Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had given him for his seventeenth birthday. He wondered if they knew he was now married to a man twenty one years his senior. Harry stood up and stretched. It was about time for him to meet Snape to hear the "rules" about to be set forth.
Snape was in the kitchen setting some unlabeled bottles filled with a pink liquid into a cabinet with some other colorful, unlabeled bottles.
"What're those?" Harry asked, pointing to the potions. Snape glared at him.
"Potions, Potter. Don't ask questions and don't touch anything." Harry rolled his eyes and sat in a chair at the tiny table.
"So we're jumping right into the rules then, I take it?" He said obnoxiously. Snape scowled.
"Just like your father, Potter. Arrogant, think you own this place already I'm sure. Well let me set you straight- this is my home, these are my things, and you are only here because Dumbledore said it must be so. So listen to me closely because I am not going to repeat myself. You will follow these rules precisely or I will throw your scrawny ass out and to hell with who wins the war." Harry opened his mouth to speak but Snape was too quick and pointed his wand under his throat.
"Rule one, Potter: You will not speak unless asked a direct question." Harry could feel the anger boiling up inside him aching to be released. In spite of himself Harry kept his mouth closed and refrained from speaking.
"Rule two, though I've already mentioned this before: You will not touch anything that is mine. You will keep your personal possessions to the confines of your room."
"That's not fair!" Harry interrupted, enraged. Why should he be forced to keep all his things in his room? Even in dorms there was a common room to share so that they didn't have to spend all their time in just one room.
"I told you, you are not to speak without being asked a direct question!" Snape snapped. Harry exploded.
"That's bullocks! Your rules are ridiculous! What makes you think I want to speak to you any more than I have to in the first place? I have to live here just the same as you do! If I want to study at the table can I? Am I even allowed to sit on the couch? You can't just ban me from these things just because you don't want me here. I don't want to be here either! You think I want to live with a snarky ass bastard like yourself when I could be rooming with my friends?"
"That is enough Potter!" Snape snarled. "I will not take another word from you!"
Snape grabbed Harry by the arm and pushed him out of the way. Harry shrugged himself out of Snape's grip and reacted instantly as one would in a brawl. It wasn't the best choice, it wasn't a thought out decision, and Harry regretted it even as he pulled his arm back and slammed his fist into Snape's face. It took Snape a second to react; used as he was to dueling wizards armed with wands, he was unaccustomed to the more primal fist fight.
Snape reached for his wand but Harry's was already out. Snape was disarmed before his hand reached his pocket. He couldn't comprehend how this kid was getting the better of him, but he knew he wouldn't allow it another second. Snape shoved harry against the wall and closed one hand against Harry's wrist and the other around his neck. Harry struggled to escape but Snape's grip was surprisingly strong. Harry tried to knee him in the groin and found the hand tighten around his neck.
"Do not attempt so low a move on me again, Potter." Snape sneered. Harry tried to hit Snape again with his free hand but found himself having difficulty maintaining focus. Black dots were beginning to form in his line of vision as he gasped for breath. Blood was streaming out of Snape's nose from when Harry hit him earlier. It was the last thing Harry saw before he lost consciousness.