© Salome Wilde, 2008
Shirayukihime no densetsu
(The Legend of Snow White):
The Trailer
Author's Note: This story was written for the LJ community Inucomedyclub for its "Love Hurts" theme. It did not win, place, or show! (I was robbed!! I welcome consoling reviews!!)
Disclaimer: I own the rights to neither Inuyasha nor Disney's Snow White nor even Looney Tunes.
/cue overture and booming voiceover\
…Coming Soon to Theaters…
Salome Wilde Presents:
An InuPeep Production
"Shirayukihime no Densetsu"
(The Legend of Snow White)
Starring:
Inuyasha as Prince Charming
Our hero rides proudly into view, hair billowing behind him…on Sesshomaru in Dog form, looking most unhappy.
The Shichinintai (The Band of Seven) as The Seven Dwarves
They sing, at various pitches and timbres: "Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to slaughter we go…"
Naraku as The Wicked Queen
A hideous drag queen croons: "Mirror, mirror in Kanna's hand, who's the fairest in the land?"
...and introducing Kagome as Shirayukihime
Standing at the well in an overly short gown, mugging for the camera, she sings (with Shippo, clinging to the well wall precariously, as her echo): "I'm wishing (I'm wishing), for the one I love, to find me (to find me), today…"
Don't Miss the Tension…
Jakotsu, as Dopey, cocking head and smiling: "Is she dead?"
Suikotsu, as Doc, stroking chin: "I don't think so…"
Mukotsu, as Bashful, eyes wide: "It's poison."
Bankotsu, as Grumpy, smacking Dopey: "C'mon boys, let's make a glass coffin out of Ginkotsu to put her in until Prince Inuyasha comes to save her!"
Jakotsu: "He has such lovely ears…"
Bankotsu smacks him again.
…the Love…
Inuyasha approaches to kiss Kagome back to life as Bankotsu sheds a perfect, beautiful single tear.
As Inuyasha bends to his beloved, we suddenly can't see a thing because his hair falls forward to ruin the shot. Kagome's hand reaches out, trying surreptitiously to push the lush mane away. When we see her face, it is clear she is mightily annoyed that her co-star is ruining her big moment.
…and the Moral, as Old as Time Itself:
Kagome hisses "Sit!" and Inuyasha crashes earthward with a cry of "Chikuso!"
Love Hurts.
Jaken, as Porky Pig: "Th-th-th-th-th-that's all folks!"