Disclaimer- Don't own the characters, but I did write this story, does that count for somein? No? T-T
Warnings for this chap- Language (which I'm no longer aloud to say out loud T-T)
Songs for this chap- Riot by Three Days Grace (The titles are a big hint XD)
This chap is for:
blackstargem
I'm glad you love it! You were the first reviewer : D
Thexlightxwithinxthexdarkness
Please, I gots my own ninja XD
Baybegrl0703
I'd NEVER make a bellaxjacob story!!! (cross my heart, hope to die, I will stick a needle in your eye ; P)
GothicaGirl-911
I'm updating! I'm updating!!!
MrsCullen2992
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOU HELP! YOU RULE!!!
...-
REALLY? O.o I'm not very funny when I want to be : ( I probably couldn't get a whole way through, but I may try : D
Shewhoshallwrite
I'm a sad person, sorry : D (yes, I know I just smiled XD)
Scrapmypieces
You'd be surprised by how much people don't see because they don't WANT to see it -_-' I know this prob don't sound good, but I'm glad you're addicted XD
Dinloth
THANKS SO MUCH!!!
OMG, ONE REVIEW SHORT OF 60! ONE FAV SHORT OF 50! And 80+ Alerts!!! WHAT'S UP WITH BEING ONE SHORT?!??! (I like round numbers!)
THANKS TO ALL WHO FAVORITED OR ADDED IT TO THEIR STORY ALERT LIST!!!!
Chapter 9: PART I: Let's Start
Bella
~*~
Secrets got me here,
So the truth should have freed me.
Sadly, it didn't.
~*~
When I came to, I felt as if I'd be hit over the head with a shovel. My head had already been in enough pain, but now if felt as it was on fire AND pounding at the same time. A small groan rose from the bottom of my throat and I opened my eyes only to close them again due to the brightness of the hospital lights.
What happened? I remember sleeping, how could one forget such a vivid nightmare? Everyone I love slowly walking away from me as I screamed helplessly that I was sorry but my own voice was drowned off by a baby's crying and men's laughter. A shiver went up and down my spine. It may not have been as realistic as the last nightmare, but I couldn't help but imagine that they would leave me eventually. Alice, Jacob, Edward…they were just bidding their time.
But then? What happened after that? I'm sure I woke up, I doubt I could stay sleeping after that, unless perhaps the doctors sedated me, which would explain why I was so groggy and why I didn't have anymore nightmares once I fell "asleep". Actually, it's the most logical explanation I have.
"Bella?"
Involuntarily my eyes snapped open at the sound of my name. The bright lights blinded me again, but this time I blinked rapidly so that my eyes could adjust. After a few seconds the lights became bearable, and I could make out the petite figure at the side of my bed.
"Good morning, Alice." I said while attempting to smile, but instead cringing at how sore everything was, including my throat.
"It's actually about dinner time Bella." Alice replied, her own attempt at a smile just as pathetic as my own.
I nodded slightly while examining my surroundings. When I saw that we were the only ones in the room, I looked to Alice with confusion written all over my face.
"Jake had to go make sure his dad was okay, and Edward's just down the hall talking to Carlisle about you—r final physical." If Alice noticed the suspicious look I shot her, she ignored it and continued on. "Oh! And Charlie came in while you were sleeping. He was here for a couple hours, but the office called him back in."
The room fell into an awkward silence after that, but neither of us attempted to break it. Alice sat there silently, her eyes purposely closed, causing me to I assume she was looking into the future, more than likely mine by the small looks she was throwing my way whenever her eyes did open. I, on the other hand, was just happy that I would be leaving soon, though I was slightly put off by Alice's answer. She'd been about to say something else…or maybe she added that last part on? Unable to piece it together myself, I decided to ask another and slowly pull the information out of Alice.
"How long was I out?"
It was quiet for a few seconds and I was unsure that Alice had even heard me. However, when she opened her eyes, she sighed and looked at me, purposely in the eyes.
"7 hours, the sedatives wore off about an hour ago. We've been expecting you to wake up for a while now." So I'd been right about the sedatives.
"Why was I given sedatives?" Alice's eyebrow rose slightly.
"You don't remember." It wasn't a question as much as it was a statement, and it put me even more on edge then I'd first been when I woke up.
"No." I replied, sifting my body weight slightly, and wincing as pain shot up my leg where I could only guess where they'd administered the shot.
Alice's mouth opened, ready to answer me, when the door opened. Edward strode into the room with long, quick strides, followed by Carlisle who walked more slowly as if weary of me. From the corner of my eye I could see Alice's eyes jump from looking at me to Carlisle, to Edward, then back again to me, then repeating the process before settling on Edward. My own eyes snapped to Edward, searching for some kind of reply. I knew from experience that he was probably having a conversation with someone in his head, and the slightest nod or eye movement could be an answer to the silent question. Sure enough, he gave a slight shake, meaning no to whatever was asked.
Turning his attention to me, Edward gave me my favorite crooked grin, but it didn't reach his eyes.
"Good morning sleepy beauty." His voice was still tired and I couldn't help but feel guilty knowing I was the cause of his exhaustion. "I brought Carlisle to give you your final physical so you can finally go home."
Behind me, I could feel Alice's glance burning into my back. Edward's and Carlisle's eyes too were on me, waiting for my response.
"Great!" I said with as much enthusiasm as I could muster. The tense atmosphere of the room instantly deflated. How were they expecting me to react anyway? Why would I not be happy to leave this stupid hospital? Carlisle nodded.
"Alright then Bella, we'll get started right away." Carlisle shot a look at Edward, who nodded and began to walk away. Involuntarily my hand shot out to grab Edward's arm.
"No!" Everyone's eyes were on me. I could feel a blush rise in my cheeks, but I didn't let go. "No, Edward can stay. I don't mind." My voice was meek, but I was content with my choice. For the first time since I'd seen him again, Edward smiled a real smile that reached his eyes. Again Carlisle nodded.
"If that's what you want Bella."
With that the examination began. In one sweeping movement the bed sheet was pulled off of me. Cool air consumed me making me feel as if I had nothing on at all instead of the thin nightgown that clung to my figure. I could feel the multiple sets of eyes transfixed on my barely clad body, and my heart speed up drastically.
"Bella," a man's voice said in my ear. It was then that I realized a hand was gripped on my shoulder. My mind went into overdrive. I turned to voice, his face was somewhat recognizable, even though my vision was blurred, but I don't know from where. His mouth was still moving, but I couldn't hear his voice over the beating of my own heart. I nodded to whatever this man was saying, for lack of a better response. Then, I felt a cold hand pushing up my nightgown.
Now, I began to really panic. I jerked away from the hand, curling my leg under me while trying to suppress a scream. The first man, the recognizable one, gripped my arm tighter as I struggled to get out of his grip. Ice cold realization flowed through my veins as I concluded that the recognizable men had to be one of my attackers from before. I didn't even try to hold back my scream now as I thrashed about.
"LET GO OF ME!!!" I screamed, as I tugged at the grip. Two more hands grabbed curled legs, and I screamed again. "DON'T TOUCH ME! DON'T EVER TOUCH ME!" The hands however didn't give into my commands, instead gripping harder to the point of pain. I wasn't the only one screaming either.
"BELLA! BELLA, STOP! STOP! IT'S US BELLA! IT'S ME, EDWARD!" I stopped at the last word, my entire body shaking. My captors calmed slightly too, their grips even loosening slightly. I could feel that they were waiting for me to say something, but I could only stare at the man. His face was still blurred, probably from the tears, and I still couldn't figure out who he was. But I knew who he wasn't.
"You're not Edward." Everyone tensed again. "Edward never came. It was all part of my imagination. I don't know if I was just stupid or crazy, or both, but I went to them. I told Jessica to go away; I told her I'd be right there…. They told me he wouldn't want me. They told me all he wanted to do was fuck me." The blurred man's arm gripped my shoulder tighter. "Now that I had already been fucked, they said I was just a piece of shit. A worthless—useless—dirty—piece of shit." I choked on the words between sobs, repeating the words that had been repeating in my head aloud.
"I—said his name. For the—first time since—he left, I—was able to say his name." I sobbed, looking down at my lap. How could I be telling this man, the man who could have been my attackers or maybe even a stranger that I just thought looked familiar, what I'd been hiding all this time? It felt like the words were just falling from my mouth as water falls from a waterfall. Suddenly, the hand left my shoulder. Shocked, I looked up.
"Were you raped?" The voice was shaky, but cold. I starred blankly up at the familiar man in surprise. "Tell me."
"Yes." I said weakly. With that one word, my vision cleared. Tears still blurred my sight, but it wasn't the same blur that made things unrecognizable. No, now I could see exactly who the familiar man was, and why he'd been so familiar. My eyes were the size of saucers as I realized how I'd reacted to the physical and what I had just said. "Oh god, Edward."
Edward was pissed. Actually, he was furious. His face was twisted up in a way I'd had never seen before, in a mix between a glare and a sneer. Edward's onyx eyes were burning with killer intent, his forehead furrowed in deep though, as his fingers twitched at his side.
"Edward?" My voice was shaky and scared, not of him but oh what he may do. His name seemed to pull him from his thoughts, and faster than I could see, he'd punched a hole in the wall. Before any of us could react, he made two more holes into the wall.
"EDWARD!" Carlisle shouted, instantly holding him back. I too moved forward to help, only to be in cased by another set of arms belonging to Alice. Edward snarled angrily.
"LET GO OF ME CARLISLE!"
"NOT UNTIL YOU CALM DOWN!"
"WHY THE HELL WOULD I FUCKING CALM DOWN?!"
"YOU'RE SCARING BELLA EDWARD!" Alice screamed her mouth by my ear. Edward stopped struggling, his head snapping to me. I hadn't realized I'd started to tremble again until now, and I could still feel the tears soaking my cheeks. His eyes didn't lose their killer intent, but his mouth drooped into a frown. With a jerk, he was out of Carlisle's arms, and pinching the bridge of his nose between his forefinger and thumb.
A wave of nostalgia hit me as I was reminded of the time he had saved me in Port Angeles when he'd begged me to distract him so he didn't go back and kill those men.
"I'm sorry, I should've listened." I croaked, my throat sore from all the screaming and sobbing. Edward looked up, meeting my eyes.
"I'm sorry too."
Then, he turned around and walked out the door. Somewhere down the hall, we heard glass break, but I was too preoccupied with the breaking of my heart.
~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~~*~*~*~
PART II: A Riot
Edward
~*~
My rage got a hold
On me, and I'm struggling
To break out of it.
~*~
"Yes." The world slowed to a halt. Images swarmed my head of my love screaming in pain as men defiled my angel, their dirty hands on her body, venom pooled in my mouth. I swear on my very existence that I would seek revenge on the monsters that could do this, and I'd make sure they died a slow and painful death. New images, images of slow and torturous methods of death, filled my head and my hands twitched in anticipation.
"Edward?" Bella's voice brought me back to reality. Her brown eyes were wide in fear, and all I could think of was she probably looked at her assailants the exact same way. I couldn't contain myself any longer. At vampire speed, I turned and punched a hole in the wall, careful not to break down the entire wall. This restraint, however, did little to calm me, and I was able to make two more holes before Carlisle got a hold of me.
"EDWARD!" Carlisle shouted as I struggled to get out of his grip. I snarled back in reply.
"LET GO OF ME CARLISLE!"
"NOT UNTIL YOU CALM DOWN!"
"WHY THE HELL WOULD I FUCKING CALM DOWN?!"
"YOU'RE SCARING BELLA EDWARD!" Alice screamed. Instantly, I stopped, my head snapping to Bella. Her eyes were beyond wide by now, seeming to just be pools of liquid fear. The sobbing had stopped momentarily before, but now fresh tears ran down her cheeks landing on her trembling lap. I frowned knowing full well I was the cause of her pain. With a jerk, I was out of Carlisle's arms, and pinching the bridge of my nose between my forefinger and thumb.
There was no way I could stay here, not now. I had to get away, at least until I could calm down. I was only hurting Bella by staying here, I was only scaring her. But she'd hate me for leaving her like this in her time of need, she's just admitted to me she was raped. The very recollection of the fact sent a fresh wave of killer intent through my body.
"I'm sorry, I should've listened." I raised my glance and saw her pained face. In that instant I made up my mind.
"I'm sorry too."
Avoiding everyone's eyes, I turned and walked out the door. If I could cry, I would've been, instead I settled for knocking over a supplies cart on the way out.
~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~~*~*~*~**~~*~*~**~*~~*~**~~*~*~*~**~*~Run away, love, run away love~*~*~*~*~*~*
I hadn't realized I was on my way home until I got there. The garage door was open, showing that all cars minus Alice's and Carlisle's were present, as well as several boxes and ten suitcases, hinting that Emmett and Rosalie were back home. Rosalie's name was thought with a sour tone. After all, who wants to deal with a bitchy Rosalie, which she was bound to be since I cut her vacation short because of "a stupid human who doesn't even want to live." Sure enough, I was less than ten steps into the house before Rosalie came out to fight.
"Well you're here sooner than expected. Where the hell is the little bag of blood? First you make us leave for her, then you expect us just to come back as soon as you find out she's in trouble. I thought you wanted her to die." Gritting my teeth, I ignored her and began walking up the steps. Rosalie blocked my way. "Why aren't you with her anyway?"
"It's none of your business, Rosalie." I said through still clenched teeth, as I attempted to walk around her. She didn't budge.
"Like hell it's not. I came back from my honeymoon to unpack, now why aren't you with her? Did she, or did she not just try to kill herself? Because, last I heard, she tried to off herself because you weren't there."
Before I could stop myself, I flipped said blonde vampire over my shoulder and slamming onto the floor below. Just as quickly, I was imbedded into the wall across the staircase.
"What the fuck Edward!" Emmett yelled, the source of the previous hit, before running over to Rosalie who was already being helped up by Esme. Jasper was at my side in an instant, not to help me, but to restrain me. I, however, was not about to stand here and argue with my family, and tore out of my brother's grasp before storming up the stairs.
"Edward!" Esme's worried voice traveled after me, but I blocked her out with my door. But even after I'd blocked out their voices, I couldn't block out their thoughts that now swarmed my head. In frustration, I let out a long scream before taking a lamp and tossing it at the wall. Said lamp broke into a thousand pieces, and the voices in my head grew softer. By now, my breath came in short quick gasps of unnecessary air, and my body was sore from that hit. With a groan, I let myself plop onto the couch and my head fell into my hands.
Hopelessness, frustration, anger, sadness, and guilt were only the top five emotions I was having right now. Had I been feeling less sorry for myself, I'd had been concerned for Jasper's well being, knowing all too well that he would be suffering too with the strength of my emotions. All I could hope now though was that Bella would forgive me for leaving her…again.
I didn't get to wallow in self-misery for long though; after only a few minutes, there was a knock at the door.
"Go away." I said, without much enthusiasm. It was no surprise that my visitor didn't listen. What was a surprise was that my visitor was Rosalie. I groaned. "What now, Rosalie? Do you want me to apologize?"
"No, I don't care about that, I want my answer." I shot her a suspicious look.
"Why do you care?" She rolled her eyes, before walking over to stand directly in front of me, akimbo.¹
"I may not like the stupid human, but if you love her as much as you say you do, then you should be with her." Now I was extremely suspicious. "What happened?"
I sighed. "Bella…was raped." At my last words, Rosalie's body stiffened. Neither of us said anything for a moment, letting the words hang in the air. Slowly, Rosalie walked over and slapped. Instantly I was on my feet.
"WHAT THE FUCK EDWARD, WHY ARE YOU HERE?!?!"
"I couldn't stay there." I snarled, turning away from her.
"AND WHY NOT?! SHE NEEDS YOU RIGHT NOW!"
"I need to get away!"
"DO YOU THINK SHE CAN GET AWAY?!" Silence filled the room again, before Rosalie continued, her voice softer but just as angry. "Do you think she can run away from the fact? Do you think she can just pretend it didn't happen?" I lowered my gaze.
"Trust me, she probably tries to, but she never can. You know why? Because it fucking happened Edward, there's no way to go back and change that. I know you want to go hunt down whoever did this, but she's not at that stage yet Edward." Slowly I lowered myself back onto the couch, letting my head fall back into its place in my hands.
"By the way you're acting; I bet you're probably the first person she's ever told. She probably hates herself even more than she hates the man who raped her. She needs someone to be there, to love her when she can't love herself. Instead, you run out on her." Rosalie stopped again, this time waiting for my response.
"What…what do I do then Rosalie?"
"Go back to her, Stupid. If you can't figure that out, then I don't see why she needs an idiot like you, anyway." With that, Rosalie rolled her eyes once more, and began to walk out the door.
"Wait, Rose!" She stopped, and turned back to look at me with an annoyed expression. "Will…she ever get better." Rosalie sighed.
"What do you mean by better? She may stop constantly thinking about it, blaming herself, hating herself, or whatever she's doing, but she'll never forget it if that's what you mean." Rosalie's voice got quieter. "It'll always be somewhere inside her head, even if she's not thinking about it. But every once in a while, she won't be able to stop herself from thinking about it, as much as she wishes she didn't. That day's far away though, Edward, and you'll have to be there to guide her every step of the way."
Without another word, Rosalie walked out the door. Sighing, I stood up. After all, I had some apologizing to do.
¹ I LOVE THIS WORD! Akimbo, akimbo, akimbo : D (If you don't know what that means, it means "with hands on hips"
YAY!!! BELLA FINALLY TOLD HER SECRET, AND I FINALLY UPDATED!
Sorry I didn't update for the last two weeks, but blame stupid Charles Dickens and my teachers "Great Expectations" (Wow that was a crappy pun -_-')
You can also dish out some blame to my family and friends who are all like "YOU NEED A LIFE! LET'S GO TO THE MOVIES!" (Which by the way, did anyone else think there was too much sex in the Watchmen? I liked all the violence though :P)
Also, I hope you like Edward's reaction. I tried to make it pretty close to what I'd thought he'd really act, but I did make it over exaggerated so I could have Rosalie's reaction. (I know I made her act mean at first, but hey, she is!)
Emmett, Jasper, and Esme still don't know about Bella, but I'm sure their Spouses will tell them XD
Well, it's spring break now! That means I hope to get another chapter up this week :D After that though, they'll prob be another break between updates (I have 7 projects due in 3 weeks!) Plus this took me like 6 hours too write!
PS: I'm lookin for a Beta : D Pm me if you want the job and I shall see if I like you! (I prob will if you say you're on at LEAST every weekend, cuz that's when I write) The perps of this being: You get to read the chapter before ANYONE ELSE (aren't you all special XD)
REMEMBER TO REVIEW!!! It makes me be like "Screw English, I'm gonna write fanfiction instead!"
Things I wanted to write, but I restrained myself from:
Part I: Let's Start:
What happened? I remember sleeping, how could one forget such a vivid nightmare? Edward had been dressed up as a clown, performing some kind of spell that raised all the animals from the pet cemetery up from their graves. I screamed helplessly I was sorry, but he continued to laugh as undead Chihuahuas ate at my legs. Obviously, the drugs I'd been given had some side affects I wasn't told about. Either that or I really needed to lay off the horror flicks.
Reason why not:I'm serious, my mind is on drugs. I haven't even watched those movies -_-'
Part II: A Riot:
Before I could stop myself, I flipped said blonde vampire over my shoulder and slamming onto the floor below. In an instant, Rosalie was back up and looked mad as hell.
"You are so going down."
"Bring it Bitch" The words barely left my mouth when Rosalie let out an amazonian battle cry, jumped onto the balcony of the second floor, then sent a flying kick my way. The impact sent me flying into the wall, imbedding me in plaster. I stood up ready to retaliate when a soft bell rang out. Jasper appeared at my side with a towel and a bucket of water.
"You got the first hit in that round Champ, but she got you good there. Hit here with a couple right hooks and we'll be a shoe in for the championship belt."
"What the fuck Jasper, this isn't boxing!" With that, I shook off the towel and walked out the front door.
Reason why not:I've been watching too many violent movies XD