Hey everyone, thanks for the comments on Broken Dream and you are right, I did rush the ending and the Epilogue was short. Sorry for disappointing you- I did warn you I rushed the ending! :(
Hopefully I can make it up with some one-shots!
Pls review.
SICK INSIDE- HOPE PARTLOW
I'm just a girl who
Kissed a boy who
Is in love with someone else
I didn't mean to
Feel the way I do
It just happened by itself
I'll never forget the day that Troy Bolton kissed me.
My skin tingled at the thought of it. His lips had been so soft, yet so persuasive and my tummy had felt like a thousand butterflies had been released and my blood had buzzed around my veins like a million bees on a mission.
But you don't know who I am and what my story is, so maybe I should start from the beginning…
My name is Gabriella Montez and I arrived at East high a few months ago. Troy Bolton is probably the most popular boy in school and I knew he was dating Hannah when we collided in the hallway, both rushing to our classes.
***
"Owww" I said as my arms, full of books, collided with a muscled body speeding in the opposite direction and had been hidden around the corner of the corridor, causing me to drop the lot and one book spine stabbed my toe.
"Oh, hey. It's you" he said as his arms steadied me and his eyes searched mine.
I couldn't look away; I kind of frowned, kind of stared into the beautiful pools of blue that studied me.
"It's me" I agreed, thinking how random he was as I crouched to fetch my books and he did the same, his hand brushing mine as he placed them in my arms again and a little tingle went up my arm.
He looked at me under his lashes, his head cocked to one side "You give Math tutorials right?" he asked shyly.
I squinted at him as I stood up and he followed my movement, shoving his hands in his pockets.
"I do" I agreed again, my heart pounding heavily with my nervousness at being this close to him. I could see the highlights and lowlights of colour in his messy brown hair.
"I need your help" he said and I frowned.
"You do?" I couldn't believe this was true. Troy was a golden child with the teachers at East High.
"I'm struggling with the homework, I guess I practice too much" he shrugged.
"What about Hannah?" I asked gently.
"She doesn't have time to help me. She has cheer practice remember?" he said easily with a smile that turned my tummy.
There was something about his twinkly blue eyes that drew me in.
"Right. Sure, why not?" I agreed and he grinned, taking my breath away.
"Hey" he said as I started off for class again and I turned.
"Careful how you go, Montez" he said gently and jogged off.
***
And so I ended up tutoring him.
He would tell me all about his basketball and how his schoolwork sometimes suffered but that it gave him such a great buzz being out there in front of the crowd, playing his favourite game. And I got the same buzz when I was with him. But he didn't know that. I hid it and buried it and ignored it and sometimes my feelings threatened to bubble out when he smiled at the end of our session, or we giggled about something so random. At those times I had to stamp it down and fight with myself to keep it inside.
***
Troy cradled his lemonade as we sat on my porch, together on the swing chair and I studied his profile in the afternoon dusky light as I sat sideways on, my arm on the back of the seat for support as I held a study book open in my lap and read out questions which he was trying to answer.
I loved how his lips pursed up and his eyes squinted and then he would turn and answer, his blue eyes flicking over my face as he waited to see if he got it right.
He was staring at me and I realized he had answered but I hadn't heard because I had been distracted by his features.
"Correct" I said and he smiled a little smile.
"I know that you're lying" he said as he tipped his head toward me knowingly, his fringe dropping further into his eyes.
"What?" I whispered.
"I just said three million. That can't possibly be the right answer" he joked.
I felt like I was a magnet to him, drifting closer, so tempted by the lure of his lips.
"But thanks for being nice" he said and I blinked to rid my thoughts.
"Sure, any time" I said gently, dropping my gaze to my lap.
"Are you ok 'Brie?" he checked with concern.
I loved how he had started calling me 'Brie. No-one else called me that and I felt special when he did.
"I'm fine." I lied, and this knife edge I was walking on was daring to tip so that I could fall either side of it. For now, I had fallen into safety.
But I had to stop doing this; I had to stop pretending he could feel something for me. I had to wipe Troy from my mind.
***
He stopped by my house
We were hanging out
He was wondering where you are
We went walking
We were just talking
Then he kissed me by his car
My plan was working. It was working really well. Until he pulled up outside my house last night and told me that he'd had an argument with Hannah.
I had become friends with Hannah and she told me everything, apart from what happened between her and Troy. She said it would be weird me knowing things about him and having to tutor him, but I was grateful to be spared the details. It was easier to pretend that Troy wasn't really going out with my friend. If Hannah knew I harboured these feelings, she'd never speak to me again. But Troy seemed to seek me out when he had something on his mind. And that's when it had all gone wrong.
***
"Hey" he called softly as I made my way down from my seat on the swing chair on my porch and stood awkwardly on the sidewalk with my arms folded, my lips pressed together and my face showing my confusion. I flipped my long dark curly hair over my shoulder as I took a breath.
"Hey." I said back, the air between us thick like soup.
"Wanna go for a drive?" he asked and my eyebrow lifted in surprise.
"I guess" I said gently and he opened his car door so I could climb in next to him.
He pulled away and drove with one hand on the wheel as he basked in the afternoon sun.
"Hannah split up with me" he said then and I looked round quickly, shocked.
"Why?" I asked with concern.
He twitched his lips and my eyes traced the movement, imagining for the hundredth time how it would feel to have his lips on mine.
"Some stupid girl thing" he sighed, then turned to flick a look at me "Sorry" he added sheepishly, as if just remembering I was a girl.
My heart sank deep in my chest and I looked down into my lap as I realized he didn't even see me as a girl. I was wearing my favourite Ugg boots with sweat pants and a vest and it didn't surprise me that he didn't find me attractive.
Hannah was the most beautiful girl in school, head cheerleader; she had long straight brunette hair and pretty hazel eyes. Her lithe gymnasts figure was opposite to my petite and curvy one.
I picked at my nails and out of the blue Troy's hand reached across to touch mine, his fingers brushing across my knuckles, my skin zinging alive at the contact.
"Are you okay 'Brie?" he asked in his soft husky voice that made me shiver. Just the way he said my name had my stomach tying in knots.
I looked up and he moved his hand back onto the wheel. "I'm fine" I lied and I trod on my feelings for him, beating them down inside of me until I felt I could control them once more.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that…about the stupid girl thing…" he apologized and he pulled up at a viewpoint on the hill outside of town where he left the car and wandered near the edge of the drop that fell before us.
I stayed near the car, taking in the view, but scared to go nearer the drop even though there was a barrier.
"Hey, come on!" he called and I shook my head.
He came over, his long legs wrapped in his ripped jeans and his muscled torso defined under his long sleeved top. His feet pointed in a little as he walked and I smiled at his favourite converse shoes.
"Come on, Brie" he said again, holding out his hand as he got within two feet of me.
"No, I'm scared" I said.
Troy stepped up closer to me, leaning each of his hands on the hood of the car behind me; either side of my head, forcing me to lean back against it. He lifted one hand and picked up one of my curls, stroking it as his startling blue eyes pierced mine and my breath caught in my throat.
"I wont let anything happen to you" he assured me as his eyes flicked from mine to my mouth and I let my held breath expel, my lips parting and he seemed to take this as signal to kiss me because he angled his head as his fingers lay gently against my cheek and he leaned forward, our lips connecting in an exquisite fusion.
And I couldn't hold it back anymore. All of those weeks, all of that strain of hiding how I truly felt, it was released at that very moment our lips touched and there was no reeling it back in as I kissed Troy with a passion I didn't know I had.
His blue eyes were shocked as he pulled away, lifting his fingers from my face to touch his lips, looking at me like he didn't know who I was.
My hands burned with my need to touch him, my heart ached with hope that he felt the same but he dropped his gaze and that's when it hit me.
I had just kissed my best friend's boyfriend.
And now I'm sick inside
Yeah, it makes me wanna cry
I'm so sorry about last night
Yeah, It happened so fast
I wanted it to last
In the moment it felt so right
But now I'm sick inside
The drive back had been tense and quiet and I never did find out what they had argued about, all I knew was that Hannah would never forgive me if she found about this and most of all, I would never forgive myself.
When Troy stopped outside of my house, I sprang from the car like I couldn't get away fast enough I and ran down my path, letting my bubble of hurt burst from me as the tears spurted from my eyes and I heard him call my name as he left his car and started after me.
I turned, halfway up my path, sobbing, shaking, my brown eyes blazing into his and begging him to tell me it was okay, it would all be okay.
He clutched his keys in his hand "I'm sorry" he said and I let out my cry of pain, running into the house and barrelling up the stairs to my room where I lay on my bed and my heart shattered into a million shards.
Now I'm stuck with this feeling in the pit of my soul
Guess I should of had a little self control
I knew that it was wrong, I admit it
I wish there was a way that I could make it alright
I really wanna tell you that I put up a fight
But that would be a lie
And now I'm sick inside
Yeah, it makes me wanna cry
I'm so sorry about last night
Yeah, It happened so fast
I wanted it to last
In the moment it felt so right
But now I'm sick inside
Now I'm sick inside
Yeah, It makes me wanna cry
In the moment it felt so right
I knew facing him again would be difficult. Every time I even thought about last night, a stab of pain went into my heart and reminded me of what I had done. But more than the betrayal I had committed, I wanted so badly to believe that Troy really did love me, even for that fleeting moment. And that's what hurt me the most. That he had kissed me and then said sorry. I wasn't sorry one little bit. I hadn't cared about anything else when his lips had touched mine but his regret stabbed at me like an insistent reminder of what I had done wrong.
I had been sitting at the picnic benches outside in the yard when he had come over, his hands in pockets as he stood awkwardly next to where I sat.
***
"Hey" he said softly, his body so tense I felt like I didn't know him at all and that the last three months were blown away like storm clouds in the wind.
"Hey" I said back, biting my lip.
"Look 'Brie…" he began and I stood up .
"Don't. Just, please don't" I begged as I met his gaze and I could see his pain, his inner fight.
I moved away from him and caught sight of Hannah, my eyes staring into hers as she frowned at me and my stomach dropped into my feet but I put on a front and walked over towards her.
"What did Troy want?" she asked me tensely.
"He's just upset that you argued" I said gently.
"I know he kissed you" she said to me as her eyes spilled tears and my breath was stolen from my lungs as my eyes went wide and I reached for her, my mouth agape as she walked away from me and Troy called out her name from behind me, running after her and I collapsed to the floor and sobbed into my hands at the self- loathing that overtook me.
Troy stopped halfway across the yard and cast a look back on me, almost torn as to who he should go to and I watched him stare at me with a squint of regret as he moved away, following Hannah and leaving me distraught and alone. And as his rejection hit me full in the stomach like a painful punch, I felt destroyed.
***
I'll never forget the day that Troy Bolton kissed me. I just wished he wasn't in love with somebody else.
I'm just a girl who
Kissed a boy who
Is in love with you