"What the hell do you mean you want a plot!?!"

Roy sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. This had to be about the sixth time he'd said this, but the author was stubborn and wouldn't listen to reason. But this sure as hell had to be done. Roy looked up at Ayumi's angry face and repeated himself again. "I'm bored with all these random oneshots that don't have to do with each other."

"Why?! Everyone else seems to like it; Poup's one of my best fanfictions out!" Ayumi argued angrily. It's true too, just a couple of days ago, the ratings -if you can call them ratings- reached most popular compared to all the other stats.

"So what if the readers like it, we don't! And we're the ones who matter!" Roy insisted. "I mean, how do you think Ed and Al feel about this?! Have they ever said an intelligent thing in this freaking story?!"

"Cactus!" Ed agreed with a nod. Roy stared at him, his eyebrow twitching. Ed blinked twice, then shook his head. "No! Dammit! You see what this 'poup' thing is doing to my character!?"

"It's making you an idiot. So what? You're really cute in this fic." Ayumi smiled mischievously, finally settling back down on her chair.

"And poup really doesn't taste that good either. Couldn't you invent something yummy?" Al asked, sounding distracted. Unknown to most of the others, Al had a small yellow kitten under his shirt that kept trying to crawl up his belly, and he kept trying to bring it back down.

"It was last minute! That was all I could think of at the time."

"Just make us a plot, that's all we're asking!"

"And how about making Roy the idiot a couple of times!"

"Why me?!"

"'Cuz you're a bastard!"

"HEY!" Ayumi slammed her fist onto the table. The other three alchemists stopped arguing and stared at her. "Look, I'm not sure if you've realized, but we're really pushing it with the author's note, so let's hurry up and get on with this."

"Oh, right." Roy mumbled wonderingly, looking at the author's note. "I forgot that you were typing in bold."

"Al, what do you think? You haven't said anything in a while." Ed pointed out. Ayumi nodded and the both of them looked at Al, who squeaked and tried to stifle a giggle as the kitty's tail was tickling him.

"Ah-ahaha...plot...g-good..." He made out. "o.O" Ed and Ayumi went and blinked at the same time. The kitty meowed, and Al squeaked in terror that he was caught.

"...Al...what the hell was that?" Ed asked slowly. Al smiled nervously. "It was...um...m...my...stomach! Yeah, I'm just really, really, uh...hungry? Ehehehe..."

"Okay...that makes total sense...hey, wait a minute!"

"Okay, okay, fine, I'll put it back." Al moped and went to put the kitty back...oh...how cruel.

"...anyway...so, whaddya say, Ayumi? You gonna make us a plot?" Roy asked hopefully. "A plot that I don't die in!" He added quickly, spotting the evil writing glint that had momentarily appeared in her eyes. She stuck out her tongue and sighed in defeat. "Yeah, yeah, fine, ya'll will get a plot..."

"YAY!!!"

"But it's only a mini-plot! And Ed will have to be my fangirl slave...for a month." Ayumi grinned evilly, and Roy could've sworn a pair of devil horns had popped onto her head for a second there. "Deal!" Roy grinned.

"WHAT?!?!"

"Success!" Ayumi cheered, pulling out a lasso. She tied Ed up and dragged her off, laughing her fangirl laugh as Ed cried and swore at Roy

Roy sighed anyway. "Dammit, judging by this author's note, this chapter ain't gonna be that long anyway..."

---

You guessed correctly, Roy!

Anyway, to start off this extremely short, yet long chapter, we open to a scene where Ed's tied to a pole in the background and has his hands fuzzy handcuffed to the top of the pole, but that's not important now, ehehehe...oh yeah, and he's shirtless! Yaaaaaay!

Envy skipped into this fangirl's dreamland and stopped abruptly, staring at his younger half-brother. "What...the...hell...?"

Ed looked up at the homunculus and immediately broke down into adorable tears. "Envy-sempai! It was horrible! The fangirl who made this fanfic brought me hear and- and- did bad stuff and- and- aaaand...I was really scared!!!!"

"Okay, not caring." Envy made a random chair appear out of nowhere and sat on it. "You know, I hate you. You and Al and Daddy. I hate you all! All of you! ALL OF YOU! I HAAATE YOOOOU!"

"I love you too, Brother." Ed said sincerely with the cutest sparkly bishi smile in the whole world. Envy stared at him, his eye twitching. "Don't. Do. That. Ever."

"Never! Love you, Bro! Love you, Nii-san! Love you, Biggest Bestest Broooothaaaaah!!!!!" Ed sang.

"Dammit! For that, I'm gonna sing! And you're gonna like it!!!"

"NO! Anything but that!"

"I'm a Barbie girl! In a Barbie woooorld!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

---

By the way, this has nothing to do with the plot I'm gonna be putting in...yeah...gimme reviews!!!