(Yes, I think I am gonna be doing the author's notes like this now. Deal with it)
Ayumi waved to the wall, pretending that there was somehow a large audience between herself and her computer. "Heyas, my lovely readers! Today's the start of the Poup Plot!" She stopped and snorted to herself at how stupid that sounded. "I'm just warning you all now...this 'plot' thing, is something I'm making up totally on the spot, and I'm only doing it because Roy keeps complaining on it. Geez! Can't he just die every chapter and take it like a man?!"
She sighed and shook her head in disappointment. "Anyway, I love all ya'll reviewers, and now, I'm two reviews away from 200! So, reviewer number 200 will later get a Poup chapter of his/her's choice! Yay you!" She gave the wall a thumbs up and winked. Ayumi's mom walked by and noticed that her daughter was talking to herself. Oh gawd, my own daughter's insane. She sighed.
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Roy groaned and slowly opened his eyes. Ugh...why the hell does my head hurt so badly? He wondered as his head throbbed with another wave of pain. He tried to touch where he was hurt and realized that he had been tied up with a heavy set of chains. "What the hell?!" He gasped, straining against his bonds. "Aw crap, please don't tell me this new plot has to do with fangirls!"
"Not at all! In fact...we're going to a magical place, where the fangirls can't get to!" Al informed the Colonel. Roy blinked, and realized that Al was standing behind him with a goofy grin on his face, and holding a mallet. A very large mallet. Roy recognized it as the one Al had brought when he had came into his office earlier on before this chapter started.
"Alphonse Elric, you better not tell me that you knocked me out with that mallet, tied me up, and now we're going to who knows where." Roy said slowly, trying to control his growing temper. Al's eyes widened; and he shook his head innocently. "Why would I do that? Sure, I hit you with my mallet, but Brother tied you up, and Brother's taking us to some island."
"An island!?! Why the hell are we going to some island?!" Roy yelled.
"I wanted to have some quality time with my Daddy and my wittle brothah!" Ed explained, popping up besides Mustang. Roy jumped back, startled that the younger alchemist had figured out how to apparate. "That's why I transmuted this boat and now we're sailing alooong," He sang.
"...we're on a...boat?" Roy echoed weakly. Ed nodded. "Yep! Is that a problem?"
"I can't swim..." The Colonel admitted shyly. Ed blinked. "Neither can I! But that's only because I never got to learn, and my automail weighs me down anyway. Why can't you swim?"
"...I don't like the water..." Roy muttered. Why, you may ask? Well, we have a very appropriate flashback to explain!
-Flash! Aaaahhh!- (Most people wouldn't get that, unless they listen to Queen or saw AMV Hell 4)
Roy was standing in front of a pool nervously, a rubber duck floatie around his waist. He was about Ed's age at this time, and was biting his lower lip in fear. Riza stood besides him, the essence of a...let's say 15 year old girl in puberty. Ahhh, puberty...anyway, she was wearing a simple red one-piece. Roy's bathing suit was blue and had flames on it. Go figure.
"Roy, come on, you're not gonna drown or nothing. Just jump in!" Riza complained, squeezing droplets of water from her blonde hair, obviously indicating that she had been in the pool. Roy shook his head hard. "Nuh uh! The water's...uh...cold! Yeah, that's it! I dun wanna!"
"Do it." Riza ordered, holding up a plastic black water gun. But it didn't hold water in it, oh no. Let's just say, whatever it was, you don't want squirted on you. The imagination soars...
Roy squeaked in terror. "Okay! Just...just..." He clapped his hands together and squeezed his eyes shut, like he was praying. "Please don't make me drown." He muttered. Riza rolled her eyes.
Roy made to jump in, when he suddenly heard a very hyperactive scream from behind him. He turned around to see who it was, and saw a 15 year old girl with long brown hair and gray-ish eyes in a polka-dotted bikini run up to him and tackle him. Roy screamed as he and the girl tumbled into the water together. He tried to squirm out of her iron grip but found it impossible, and instead of doing the smart thing and trying to hold his breath, cursed very obscene words and let all his air escape.
"Wheee!" It sounded like the girl was saying. The both of them were tugged out of the water by a woman with the same hair and eyes as the girl, but in a sensible black one-piece. "Trisha Elric, what did I say about acting this way in public?"
"But Moooommyyyy--!" The girl named Trisha started, but her mother shushed her. "Now apologize to the nice young boy."
Trisha pouted and looked back at Roy, who was gasping for his breath. "Sorry, Hot Tamale!" She squealed, and pushed him back into the pool. He flailed before sinking under again---
Roy shuddered at the memory. Ed and Al stared wide eyed at the remaining flashback before it faded. "You knew our mother?!!"
Roy's eyes widened also. "Oh gawd, that was your mom?! Holy shit! No wonder you guys annoy the shit out of me! That girl wouldn't leave me alone from that point!" He stopped ranting about Trisha for a second and stared at Ed for a long time. "...Ed...were...you, by any chance...driving this ship?"
Ed blinked innocently. "Well, yeah...why?"
"Damn! Who the hell's driving now, then?!"
BANG! The ship crashed into a rock and automatically started to sink. Ed and Al gasped at the same time. "We're sinking! Abandon ship!" They both started dashing off, leaving Roy behind. Roy watched them go, dumbstruck, until he heard two small splashes, and saw Ed and Al floating away on a makeshift raft, waving him goodbye.
"Wait!!! What about me!?" Roy yelled at them. The boat was sinking far too quickly then it should be (because, unknown to Roy, there was about a ton of poup on the bottom of the ship), and water had already filled half of the cabin. "Aw, shit...I picked a damn good time to cancel my life insurance..." Roy sighed.
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Lmao XD; First part of the strange plot!