"That's my favorite picture, that wasn't that long ago. It was taken just after she and Sky got engaged."
Sam didn't look up he just stared at it, as if he were in his own little world.
"Sam, are you alright?"
Sam had been bottling his emotions up for days. He was just trying to be strong for Donna, but he wasn't sure if he could hold it much longer. He really wanted to burst into tears. Say how proud he was of Donna, for being so strong and for raising Sophie so well. He wanted to apologise. For not being there when Donna had needed him most. True, he didn't know if Sophie was really his, but he was almost certain. He had never felt so much love for one person. He decided that he should just let out his emotions. He told Donna that it was alright, so why couldn't he use his own advice. He could feel the tears welling up in his eyes, it made everything blurry, the way his mind had been when he was thinking about Sophie. He blinked quickly and let the tears fall. Donna was watching him intently because she knew something was wrong. When she saw the tears she immediately went to his side and hugged him, rocked him rubbing his back trying to make him feel better.
"It's alright, Sam just let it out. It's gonna be okay. Just breathe. It's not your fault. It's nobody's fault. It's just something that happened."
Sam was feeling better already, he didn't have a constant lump in his throat anymore.
"I'm gonna go down and get you some water, I'll be back in a minute, okay? I love you, don't you ever forget it."
Donna closed the door and lent against it for a moment. The tears were there, she just didn't want to let them flow. It was going to be alright. She kept saying it but somehow she wasn't as sure as she was before. She went down to the kitchen and turned on the light to see Sky sitting at the table his eyes puffy and red from crying and lack of sleep. Donna seemed to be the only one holding it together so she wasn't going to let it slip now. She went over to him didn't say a word and hugged him, she repeated the rocking and back rubbing for Sky. After all this was her job. She had to keep things going.
"I'm sorry Sky, I shouldn't have left you earlier. We never got time to talk about it."
"Donna, please, I don't want to talk about it. I've thought about it enough and look at the state of me. I've got to pull myself together!"
"Sky, don't be stupid! You just lost the person you love. I know how that feels, believe me. I may not have have lost him forever but I lost him. It's alright for you to be in this state. I was too."
"Donna, how do you do it? It doesn't matter what the situation is you always make everyone feel better."
"Because life is too short to be sad. We shouldn't be thinking about losing Sophie we should be celebrating the good times we had with her! That is what today is for."
"Help me. I don't know if I can go through with this."
"Well, me neither. I just have to go and be there one last time for my daughter."
"I suppose your right. I'm gonna try to go to sleep now. It's funny I always seem to want to sleep after talking to you."
"Well thanks a lot!" Donna laughed.
Donna quickly poured some water and rushed upstairs to her other paitient. Sam was now laying in bed staring into space. When Donna walked in he jumped.
"Sorry I scared you. Here's your water. Are you feeling better? Sorry I took so long Sky was in the kitchen, so I was trying to comfort him too."
"Will you stop apologising? It's fine, thank you for the water." He kissed her lightly.
"You shouldn't have kept all of that in, you know."
"I know, I need to learn to follow my own advice."
"I'm so tired." Donna curled up against Sam and closed her eyes. She knew she wouldn't sleep but she felt really comfortable lying against Sam listening to his steady heartbeat. Sam turned off the small light and put an arm around Donna. He closed his eyes. He wouldn't sleep either. Sam and Donna just lay and held each other.
After a long night Donna got up at 6AM and walked down to the kitchen. She walked in to see Tanya and Rosie sitting at the table.
"You two look horrible. Whats wrong?"
"Do we have to remind you what day it is?" Tanya looked at her.
"No, okay. What have I got to do today?"
"Donna calm down. You don't have to do anything. All you have to do is get dressed and go to the church." Rosie said.
"What? That's it. Oh what am I going to do until 1? That's what? 8 hours away?"
"You could go back to bed. Try and sleep." Rosie said.
"I've been trying to sleep for the past two hours and I can't."
"Just go to bed Donna okay? You need to sleep. Don't worry we wont let you over sleep." Tanya was feeling for Donna she knew she needed her rest.
"Okay." Donna did as she was told.
Donna went upstars and climbed in with Sam again. This time she finally drifted into a dreamless sleep.
Donna woke up with a start. She looked at the clock. 12:30 she quickly got up and ran straight to the bathroom, got dressed and fixed her hair. She flew down the stairs into the kitchen. There Sky, Sam, Bill, Harry, Tanya and Rosie stood there. They were all looking at her, as if waiting for something.
"What?"
"Nothing." They all said.
"Okay then do you uh... wanna go?"
Donna started to walk. Sam quickly joined her side and held her hand. She squeezed it tight. Out of all the days this week. This was the day that Donna had been dreading. She knew she was going to breakdown. She knew it. It was only natural, she guessed. Donna was very nervous. Sam could feel her hand trembling in his. He held it tighter. Nobody said anything. Everyone just looked into space. When they got to the church, everyone sat and waited. The preist stood and started talking.
"Welcome to friends and family of Sophie Sheridan. We have come today to celebrate the life of the loving, hardworking and friendly young woman."
The rest of the words were a blurr to Donna she couldn't concentrate. She kept looking at the white coffin in front of her. It should be me, she thought. Donna qucikly looked round as Sky went up to say a few words.
"Sophie you have been the light in my life. The person I loved and took care of. Also the person I left. I often wonder if I hadn't have left you, would you be here today." Donna shook her head. She didn't want Sky blaming himself he did nothing wrong. Sophie was happy for Sky when he went travelling. She wanted him to follow his dreams. Donna was so lost in her thoughts she didn't notice everyone get up and start walking outside. She quickly got up and pulled herself together. She kept trying to swollow the lump in her throat but she couldn't. She knew she was going to break. They walked outside and gathered around a small hole dug in the ground the coffin was now sitting outside it. Donna wasn't paying attention at all. She felt numb, she couldn't think or speak, she just stood there. She could only feel Sam's hand in hers and Tanya and Rosie's arms around her. They were all crying. She could hear Sky crying behind her. The pressure was getting to her. She was light headed. Everything was spinning and it wouldn't stop. Donna could feel herself falling and... blackout.