Disclaimer - I do not own Holmes, Watson, Mrs Watson or Lestrade.
Jockey
"Watson."
"No."
"Watson…"
"I am not doing it, Holmes."
"But the case…"
"I do not care about the case, Holmes. I am not doing it."
"Watson. This is important."
"You want me to pretend to be a horse trainer to get a look at Rochton's stables?"
"That was the general idea, yes."
"And pray tell why you cannot do it."
"Because I am too tall."
"And as you frequently remind me, I am too stout."
"It is one day, Watson."
"Can I remind you what happened the last time you put me on a horse?"
"Well…"
"I fell off…and landed in a patch of nettles, before slipping down a bank into a river…"
"I am sure you have got better since that unfortunate occurrence…"
"Unfortunate occurrence? I could not sit down for a week! And all you did was sit and watch and laugh your head off. Well, I am not doing it. I am a Doctor, not a jockey!"
Five Hours later…
"I really am very sorry, Watson."
"A broken arm, Holmes! And a hoof-mark the size of a small country on my chest…what on earth is Mary going to say?"
"I was not to know that that particular horse did not like men with moustaches."
"Next time, Holmes, you can find someone else to do your espionage for you."
"I wonder if Lestrade is free…?"