I'm Only Sixteen, I'm Not In Love
"Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Just say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
But that's disregard
Find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between
Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind." -The Fray "Over My Head (Cable Car)"
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Closer and closer she was getting, and it was...
It was making him crazy. She was right here touching him and pressing her gentle soft lips on his neck, working their way up.
'God...oh god.'
Her sweet little kisses, touching his skin.
Each kiss was just setting him on fire.
'God, oh god...'
(Could he resist? Could he hold back?)
She kisses his chin.
(Could he let himself move?)
(Could he just let himself turn his face a little and meet her sweet lips?)
She kisses his cheek...she was only two inches away from his lips.
'Oh god.'
(Could he give in?)
She's only an inch away from his lips now...
(Could he...)
She kisses him again, so close to his lips...
'Finally...'
(Finally...)
(Give in?)
'God!'
It happened so fast, oh so fast. In one swift move he turned his face...
(And he finally)
She lets out a small gasp in surprise.
(Gives into his temptation.)
He wraps his arms around her, pulls her impossibly close to him...and presses his lips to hers...
'God...I've lost.'
And somewhere inside himself, Shikamaru smiles...he knows this was a game where he was willing to give in and admit defeat.
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N
O
T
LOSING
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It's been like this for him all morning and now, in his last class of the day, Shikamaru still can't stop giving in to his...addiction.
'This is bad...'
And he knows its only going to get worse. One day of realization about the pink haired beauty, and he can't even concentrate on school or anything for that matter.
Could he keep going on like this? He wasn't straying too far from his daily behavior, he was sleeping a lot after all. And that's how Shikamaru's always been.
But have people begun to notice his attitude...it's not so much tired anymore...it's more like not wanting to be here...but wanting to be somewhere else.
Hopefully, if someone notices, they'll just think he wants to be sleeping...which isn't exactly so far away from the actual truth.
Hey...it wasn't.
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Sitting in his car staring at the wheel but the ignition is not on, just staring.
'What is happening to me?'
TAP
TAP
TAP
Shikamaru turns his head to his left to look at the cause of the noise.
and
god
it
was
her.
'Oh god.'
He rolls down his window.
"Hey Shikamaru. Whatcha up to?" Sakura smiles. Her beautiful smile.
"Uh hey Sakura. Um nothing really. Just sitting." Sakura laughs.
"That's relevant silly. What are you doing today?"
He had to think...surely there was something he was doing today...god think!
"I- I um well-" Shikamaru stammered.
"Well then, I guess that means you're hanging out with me today."
"What about your school work?" He was reaching for straws.
"Done."
"Your parents?"
"Out of town."
"Studying?" There had to be something.
"No...Shikamaru what's going on? Do you not want to hang out with me or something?" She was figuring out his game.
"No its not that Sakura. I just...I just don't want to tear you away from any other plans you had or might've." Shikamaru lowered his head down and looked at his feet, as if finding some secret escape into his world just laying there.
"Shikamaru...if I had something else to do, why would I be asking you to hang out with me?"
Somewhere deep down, Shikamaru knew she was right. She always is. After all...
she
is
Sakura. And to him...
she's
always
right. And She can't do anything wrong. He releases a breath...
"Ok."
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"So what do you want to do?"
Shikamaru looks around Sakura's living room.
'Nothings changed.'
Shikamaru shrugs.
"Well...do you want to watch t.v.?"
No reply.
"Play a board game?"
No reply.
"Talk?"
Shikamaru's ears perked up a bit.
"So talking it is."
Shikamaru and Sakura both sit down on Sakura's red and pink floral couch.
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Silence.
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Well, it was quite obvious that Shikamaru wasn't going to start this conversation so it was up to Sakura.
"So Shikamaru I do have one question that I want to ask you."
Shikamaru's eyes still haven't stopped their exploration of Sakura's living room.
"Shikamaru?"
Still wandering.
"Shikamaru?"
Still exploring.
"Shikamaru!"
Sakura leans forward and grabs Shikamaru's chin and pulls his face in her direction.
"Shikamaru what has gotten into you today?!"
Shikamaru can't...
He can't look into her eyes.
He can't look at her.
"Shikamaru look at me!"
His eyes were fixed on a painting hanging from a wall in the background.
"Shikamaru...please."
Sakura whispered so low, he almost didn't hear it.
Almost.
Shikamaru looked at Sakura.
Luscious, soft, rose, pink hair.
Pale, delicate, skin.
Her wonderful scent.
He knew...
(At that moment,)
He realized two things the moment he looked at her.
(He can't deny it anymore,)
One... how close his face was to Sakura's.
(He can't pretend its nothing,)
Oh so close.
(It's real. Everything is real.)
And two,
(His feelings for her. They aren't fake. They won't go away because,)
He was,
(You can't get rid of something,)
and is,
(That has always been there.)
in love with her. And god, its taken him this long to figure it out...
Heh, and he was supposed to be a genius.
"Shikamaru? What is this?"
"What is what Sakura?"
"What am I...to...,"
"What are you to what Sakura?"
"Am I not good enough for you?"
(And she doesn't know at all,)
'That's it isn't it? I'm not good enough."
(She has no idea. How incredibly wrong she is.)
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"Sakura?"
She looks at him with tears on the brink of her eye lids.
"Yes?"
He takes his hands and gently grabs her hands, which are holding his chin, lowers them and holds them tight.
"You have no idea."
"Of what?"
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Shikamaru leans forward, slowly and carefully to her face.
(He could just,)
There are no distractions.
(Finally,)
No one else.
(Give in.)
But he doesn't stop at her lips, he leans forward a little more to her ear.
(But he won't.)
"How wrong you are." And he smiles.
( Not yet. He can't lose her.)
She smiles.
(He can't lose her. He can't lose her. He can't lose her.)
They both smile.
(He won't lose her. He refuses to lose her.)
Shikamaru leans his head on Sakura's shoulder. Sakura leans her head on his. And they stay this way for god knows how long.
(Not now.)
And while they sit this way for so long.
(Not with how he feels for her.)
Neither of them,
(For if he lost her,)
Ever think to move,
(He would fall apart,)
Or tear their hands apart.
(He would die without her.)
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Rewritten(3/1/09)
Re-Edited(3/4/09)
~Renaissance