I felt better than I had in a really long time. I found a dress from my mother's latest line that was completely perfect, though I'm sure had she been around, she would have disagreed. But she wasn't and I was very happy with my choice.

I'm not normally a red dress type. I prefer move subdued, flowing things. I had never felt like the woman in red type. But all that was changing tonight. Tonight I wanted to be someone different, new. Not perfect, always does what's expected, careful, contained, Blair. Tonight I wanted to be daring and sexy, mysterious and spontaneous.

I was turning over a new leaf and starting a new chapter in my life. One that the name Chuck Bass had nothing to do with.

My choice was red, low cut, form-fitting and floor-length. The neckline and the back, both plunged so far I was almost scared of unfortunate wardrobe malfunctions during the night. I had never worn anything like it before.

It was definitely more Serena's style than mine. But I was changing places with my best friend for the time being. I needed a chance to just let go and be someone new. This dress was going to give me the chance.

I chose to wore my hair up, piled on top of my head in an abundance of rich brown curls with several tendrils framing my face. Andre is a God among mortals. Everything was perfect and I had never felt more exotically beautiful.

Serena had apparently decided to go for my style in exchange because her dress of choice was subdued and demure compared to her normal party attire. It was tea-length. A champaign color, that I wouldn't have ever put with her blond hair and paler skin tone, was the background for an overlay of black lace, giving the garment an antique, vintage Chanel feel. It was simple and elegant and beautiful.

As the two of us stood in front of the mirror, examining our reflections, it struck me how very odd we looked. It was like we had exchanged bodies or something. Serena must have thought the same thing, because she started smiling slowly, but soon she was bursting out loud in laughter. Without realizing it, I joined her.

Obviously, the noise drew unwanted attention from the other parts of the house, because I looked up to find Cyrus watching us from the doorway.

" What could be so funny about two such beautiful women ?" He asked when I caught his eyes.

Serena straighten and took a deep breath to push the laughter away and I did the same. " We just had a funny thought." She explained as she gave me a significant look.

" Well, I'm glad you talked her into going to the party tonight." He told her. " I insist that you both have a wonderful time. " He gave me a quirked eyebrow and a knowing smile. " Blair, you shouldn't let some 'no one' keep you from having a good time."

I returned his smile. That was something my father would have told me, had he been there. Cyrus really wasn't so bad once you got to know him. He had his moments anyway.

Serena's mother sent a car for us and the ride to the party was quiet and uneventful until we picked Dan up. His eyes went wide when he first spotted me, or more importantly my dress, but soon we both settled into our habit of giving each other sneering smiles and trying to pretend the other didn't exist. It was our way, comfortable, constant, something I could depend on. Recently however, Dan had developed a nasty habit of actually responding to my biting remarks. Since Chuck and I weren't speaking much anymore, it was nice to have someone to verbally fence with and truthfully, Dan wasn't half bad at it. I was beginning to see what Serena found so fascinating about slumming it with him.

He got in and offered Serena a kiss in greeting. Then he gave me a pained look that might have started out as a smile. " Blair,"

I nodded and did a much better job of delivering a sickeningly, sweet grin. " Brooklyn."

" I love it when you say that like its the most vile thing you can think of." He answered, settling in beside his date.

I scoffed. " But it is the most vile thing I can think of. A Borough, really ?"

" I would have thought you'd already be at the party, lounging on the arm of the guest of honor." he quipped and the look on my face must have told him it was the wrong thing to say.

We had called a truce between us. We bit and scratched and insulted, but we didn't really try to draw blood anymore. We were making an effort for Serena's sake. So when the words left his mouth and he realized his mistake, he began to back peddle as quickly as he could. " I'm sorry. I just assumed that you would be going to this thing with him."

Serena jabbed him subtly in the side and he winced. But I waved him off. " It's okay. Apparently the entire world is under the same assumption."

" Blair is working on starting a brand new Chuck-free life." Serena interjected.

" Why ?" Dan asked, clearly confused.

Well, welcome to the club, Humphrey, you aren't the only one that's confused.

" We've parted ways, permanently this time." I told him.

He nodded. " Well, good for you. I think that's probably for the best. Chuck isn't really a one woman kind of guy anyway. God knows what he's been doing behind your back."

My eyes widened and Serena stomped his toe. " Dan !" She shushed him.

He shrugged and looked horror-stricken suddenly. " What ? I'm trying to be nice, to help."

" Well, it isn't working." she informed him.

" Okay, I'll just sit over here and be quiet. Blair, I didn't mean anything. I just mean, " He struggled with his words for a moment before sighing, " It's good you're putting him behind you. Or maybe its a bad thing and I'm sorry for your lose. " He glanced at Serena. " A little warning would have been nice."

I held up my hands to stop his squirming. " It's okay. Just forget about it. I don't want to talk about Chuck or the end of whatever it was between us. Let's just have a good time."

The limo stopped and Dan got out first, offering me a hand to assist my exit. I was surprised, but I accepted it graciously and waited as he helped Serena exit as well.

As she straightened, her face fell at the same instant Dan's did. Whatever they were seeing was directly over my shoulder and it must have been a terrible, horrible monster of some sort because they both paled as their jaws slacked and the look in their eyes bespoke a warning to me of unfathomable evil.

I turned with a startled whirl, the smile falling instantly to my toes. And came face to face with the unspeakable evil they were warning me against.

Chuck.

He looked better than I'd seen him in a really long time. His face was relaxed and jovial, not drawn with sadness or dazed by a cloud of drugs. His cheeks were rosy. His Armanti tux fit him perfectly. His brown hair was back to its normal, carefully controlled order. Even his chocolate eyes twinkled and sparkled with their own light as he smiled back at me.

I wanted to run my hands through his hair, to trail my fingers down the black velvet lapel of his jacket. I wanted to throw myself into his arms and kiss him until I was dizzy.

Damn it, I hated him.

He didn't say anything as his eyes scanned me slowly from top to bottom, caressing me with his gaze. His lips quirked on each side and I could see the hint of his dimples struggling to the surface of his cheeks.

Finally, one perfectly sculpted eyebrow arched and he gave me the full smile. " Blair." My name sounded indecent when he uttered it like that, letting it fall from his lips in that low rasp.

" Bass." I answered, trying to put us back on the last name basis that I was much more comfortable with.

" I wasn't expecting you to come tonight." He said, suddenly much closer to me though I hadn't seen him move. That was how it always was with us. Our bodies just seemed to naturally draw closer whether our brains agreed or not.

" It's the party of the year. Why wouldn't I be here ?" I asked as if his closeness wasn't affecting me at all. I was so proud of how natural and smooth my voice sounded.

" I just thought that you-" He began but couldn't finish as he was assaulted by a frill of pink lace and a whirl of blond hair.

" Chuck," She whined as she latched onto his arm. " I thought I lost you. I looked everywhere."

" I ran into a few friends." He told her as he drew her further into his side and gave her a beaming smile.

MY smile. He gave her my smile. I wanted to scratch her eyes out. I wanted to yank the Stella McCartney knock-off right off her body and toss it where it belonged, in the street. I wanted to rip the awful, horse-hair extensions from her head.

But I did none of those things. Unfortunately, I couldn't make myself form coherent words either, so I just stood there looking dumbfounded and stricken, waiting on someone to save me.

I was stunned once again as said hero stepped up behind me and put his arm around my waist.

Dan was the last person I expected to come to my rescue.

" Chuck, how's it going ?" He said, pulling Serena into his other side.

" Not as well as it appears to be going for you." Chuck sneered.

Dan shrugged and hugged us both tighter. " Well, what can I say, I'm too much man for just one of them."

" Right." Chuck nodded and rolled his eyes. " Well, before this gets anymore ridiculous, not that there's a chance of that happening, we'll excuse yourselves so Blair can be free to cringe openly at the feel of you touching her."

And with that he bow his head slightly in my direction and disappeared into the crowd of people with the bleached blond following along behind him.

I let out a breath and drew in another one quickly.

" You okay ?" Dan asked, leaning in close so no one else would overhear.

" I'm fine." Then I turned to him. " Thank you. You didn't have to do that."

" I know." He shrugged. Apparently Dan was a shrugger. " But look at it this way. That girl was so cheap and average, she couldn't have been further from you. Maybe that means something."

I stepped out of his arm and looked at him suspiciously. " Okay, what gives ? You are never this nice to me."

" I thought we'd called a truce." He answered simply.

" We have, but that this is beyond a truce. This is practically friendly. We aren't friends, Brooklyn."

Then I suddenly understood and my eyes flew open in alarm. It was just a hint of something I'd caught in his eyes. Something I didn't recognize because no one had EVER looked at me like that before.

It was pity. He was pitying me. How dare he ! No matter what had happened, I was still Blair Wardolf and no one ever, ever pitied me.

Serena caught my look a moment before I turned to storm off. She tried to grab me but I was faster and I left them standing there staring after me.

I raced through the ballroom with a singular purpose in mind. I wanted to be drunk and I wanted to be drunk right then. I knew I shouldn't have come here.

Everywhere I looked, happy couples were draped over each other, kissing, holding hands, giggling together.

My mind insisted on betraying me, reminding me of the few short days Chuck and I had spent together before the summer of hell when he'd abandoned me. I still hadn't forgiven him for that. I'd let myself overlook it because he meant so much to me, but I hadn't really forgiven him.

Still, it wasn't the feeling of loss and rejection that flew through my mind as I made my way over to the crowded bar. It was the days before. I had never been happier in my life than I had been in those few short hours.

I felt strangely whole, complete in a way I had never felt before. Like everything I'd always wanted was right there in my grasp. I had never loved Nate the way I did Chuck. It was never even close. I realized, after many hours of soul searching and Ben and Jerry's, that I was only with Nate because it was what was expected of me. There had never been a question about whether we were supposed to be together, we just were and that was all there was to it.

Maybe love didn't mean as much if you never had to fight for it ? Or maybe it really was true, maybe there really was only one person out there that you were meant to be with. If that was the case, then I was now doomed to a life spend alone.

Why did my soul mate have to be him ? Out of the billions of men in the World, why him ?

Somebody out there, some lucky person drew the soul mate lottery ticket with Zac Effron's name. I got Chuck Bass.

Life was not fair.

I got to the bar and demanded the entire bottle of vodka be handed over to me immediately.

The bartender eyed me suspiciously, but he gave in when I gave him the evil eye.

I went to the elevator and watched as the doors closed in front of me. The last image I got of the party was Chuck standing against the wall with the cheap tramp laying on him, trying to check his tonsils with her tongue.

Well, shows what she knew, I huffed. Chuck didn't have tonsils any more. I was there when they got taken out. So she could just search all she wanted. She wouldn't find them.

Wait, that wasn't what I wanted her to do, Fuck it all.

Chuck's gaze caught mine over her shoulder just as the doors closed and there was something in them, but I didn't want to linger on it. Instead, I snatched the bottle and took a long, hard pull from it.

The rooftop was a long ride. I was already buzzed a little by the time I arrived and I stumbled out into the cool night air feeling alone and dejected.

I hated losing and right at the moment, I felt like the world's biggest loser.

Was it possible that we really were over this time ? Was I really never going to feel his arms around me again, taste him again, hearing his voice purring across my skin again ?

I eyed the edge of the roof carefully as I downed another drink. I wasn't sure I even wanted to live in a world that didn't have Chuck in it. I was sure I didn't want to live in a world where I had to watch him making out with cheap floozies against walls.

Those were my kisses he was giving to her. My embraces that she was enjoying. She was stealing from me. Stealing something I held more valuable than anything else I had ever possessed.

I looked at the bottle in my hand and realized it was over half gone. I hadn't even been on the roof that long, but already the world was spinning on its axis. Shifting under my feet in a way that left me trying to keep my footing.

The night was decidedly hot. I stumbled as I got my Jimmy Choo's tangled in the fabric of my dress and I nearly fell.

I would have if it weren't for the arms that reached out and grabbed hold to steady me.

When I looked up, I figured I had passed out and I was dreaming.

His eyes weren't sparkling anymore. They were dark and hooded and worried. " Blair, what the fuck are you trying to do ?" Chuck asked me.