:D Thank you all bunches.

I fidget my fingers together. "What do you mean no?"

"I meant what I said. Just because we got interrupted doesn't mean it didn't happen."

"I know that." I answer stupidly.

Spencer smirks and puts the palm of her hand to my cheek. I close my eyes. "God Spencer." I whisper. "If you keep touching me…"

Spencer doesn't answer verbally but instead with another soft kiss. As much as I don't want to, I stop her. I stop her because I can't keep doing this.

"No, Spence, you can't just kiss me every time and think it makes it better." I tell her as strongly as I can.

She hangs her head. "Why."

"Because!" I say louder than necessary. "Because. I want you Spencer. I'm not going to be…I don't know but I'm not going to be it. I want to be all of it."

Spencer nods. "I want you to be all of it."

I look at her, meeting her eyes. "I- you do?" I wasn't expecting that because I wasn't expecting her to agree. I wasn't expecting anything, really. Pessimists never do.

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Ashley!" Spencer exclaims with a very small smile on her face. "Yes, I'm sure." She hits my shoulder shyly and I grab her and bring her into a hug. Spencer wraps her arms around my neck securely and I bring my forehead to rest against hers.

"Okay. Let me be all of it." I whisper softly to her. Spencer nods with a smile. "Spence…" I say her name but don't finish the words. She knows what they are and what they mean.

"I know." She says, slowly taking herself out of my grasp. "I'm going to right now. Because I want you Ashley, with nothing else in the way."

I close my eyes and open them back up. Hoping Spencer doesn't disappear from in front of my door the second I can see again.

She doesn't.

"Do you have any idea how long I waited to have you say that?"

"Probably as long as I've wanted to say it." And with one last touch to my cheek and a grin, Spencer is out the door and I am alone again.

But this time I know it won't be for long. And that feels good.

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I tap my fingers nervously against my thigh as I sit on my couch. Waiting. The television screen is on the Home Shopping Network. I don't know how it got there. They're selling the ugliest rings I have ever seen. And then they're selling the ugliest oven mits I have ever seen. I put it on mute to block the annoying sound of the spokeswoman and callers out of my apartment.

"And what is the largest size you have in those…" Is the last thing I hear. I chuckle to myself and immediately feel like a fool.

"Hi, yes, do you have a size 14 in the double diamond studded engraved ring?" Spencer asked with a hint of a poorly faked southern accent into the phone.

"Spencer!" I whispered with a giggle in my voice.

"Um, a size 14 you said?" Came the voice of the sales lady over the speaker phone.

"Uh huh, yes, my fingers are quite large." Spencer almost laughed but she closed her eyes to keep it in.

"I'm sorry ma'am, I don't think we make them that size." The lady said unsurely.

"That's really upsetting." Spencer faked a sob and then hung up the phone. I let out my laughter and rolled around on the floor with Spencer the same way next to me.

"If the cops ever come get you for making a prank phone call to the Home Shopping Network, I'm having nothing to do with it." I told her, sitting up on the floor with my legs crossed.

Spencer punched my arm. "Of course you will, you have to bail me out. Your life would be boring without me Davies."

I chuckled. "You are so not that innocent blonde girl you're supposed to be."

Spencer raised her eyebrow to me. "Who said I'm supposed to be innocent?"

I gulped, trying to hide the sound it made and the way her tone made me ache with want. "Yeah, well."

Spencer snorted. "Good comeback. And who are you? Miss got a ticket for talking back to a cop."

"He was mean to me!"

"Ashley." Spencer smiled and shook her head. "He just asked to see your license."

"Yeah, in a mean way. I wasn't even doing anything."

"Right." Spencer rolled her eyes dramatically.

"Don't right me, honeybunch. You need to stop deceiving people."

Spencer gave me a confused look. "Deceiving people?"

"Yeah." I chuckled, a tiny but nervously. "With your pretty bright blue eyes and blonde hair and shit, people think you're a nice girl. I know better."

Spencer scoffed. "And shit? That's lovely Ash, thanks."

I grinned widely at her, an overexaggerated grin. I used it to try and distract her from my nervousness and darkened eyes when I merely talked about how she looked.

After another agonizing couple of hours of just sitting, my buzzer sounds and I don't even ask who it is, I buzz her up right away.

When I open my door Spencer is standing there. She doesn't look completely sad but she doesn't look completely happy. Her eyes are wide and kind of wet. I guess that's the look someone has after they've broken up with the person they've been with for almost two whole years.

But I wouldn't know.

"Hi." I stupidly say.

The second Spencer's blue eyes meet mine her expression changes slightly to a more happy, comfortable state. I grab her hand softly and pull her into me for a tender hug. She lets out a breath on my shoulder and I sigh. I close the door and lead her over to the couch.

"Hi." Spencer answers back quite late. My heart flutters at her when she makes no hesitation to sit right next to me and snuggle into my side.

"Are you okay?" I ask her, rubbing her shoulder.

"I am now." She says with a smile up to me.

And all of a sudden I feel this immense guilt creep up on me and it takes over. I just broke up a two year relationship. A relationship between two people who loved each other. I did it for selfish reasons. But was it so selfish if it was for my heart?

"I am so sorry Spencer, I, oh shit, I'm sor-" I start to ramble dumbly but am cut off by Spencer's soft hand on my mouth.

"Ashley shut up." She says bluntly, with a playful smirk. Her eyes twinkle and I love it. "Just, shut up. I know you feel guilty. But I'm where I want to be."

"You are?" I'm dazed.

"Yes Oats." She whispers to my cheek before she rubs it with her nose.

I pull her close to me and revel in the phenomenon of being able to do just that. God, she feels so good in my arms I almost can't breathe. Her breathing is heavy and I don't know if it's from being sad about Carmen or being so close to me. Maybe it's a combination of both.

I slide my hand through her silky hair and kiss her temple. "I wanna be with you. Be with me, Spencer."

"Ashley. Of course." Spencer says and I can hear the smile in her voice just as much as I can see it on her face.

I know it's not necessary but I can't stop talking. Telling her all of the things I had wanted to say for what seemed like forever. "I want to hold your hand, and, and, buy you stuff, and I want you to kiss me goodbye before you go to your classes and I wanna have you come into my apartment after your night class." I take a breath, not even noticing Spencer's laughter. "And, I wanna tell people that this, this is my girlfriend, Spencer. And I want to get jealous when girls and guys check you out because you're so gorgeous Spencer. So seriously gorgeous." I whisper the very last part, closing my eyes.

I feel an extremely soft kiss go to the side of my mouth and I whimper. Again, I feel a searing, hot tear cascade down my cheek. But this time, it's from happiness.

I never, ever, in my life believed in crying out of joy. I always thought it was ludicrous. Obviously now, I see the point.

"You can do those things." Spencer says softly, intertwining our hands. "You can do all of those things." Spencer lets out an adorable yawn.

"Let's go to sleep." I tell her, kissing her cheek.

Because really, it's been kind of a long day.

When Spencer cuddles up next to me in my bed, my heart is constantly beating faster and faster. I can't calm down and I can't get used to this. Well, that's a lie. I can get used to this. I just can't even wrap my head around it. Honestly, I think both Spencer and I are afraid to do anything else. To even kiss. I'm not even thinking about going further because this. Right here. This right here is perfect.

Spencer looks up to meet my eyes in the dark from where her head rests on my shoulder.

"I love you, Ashley Davies." Spencer says clearly, her eyes penetrating mine.

The smile on my face is going to be there permanently.

"God. I love you too Spencer." I tell her, running my hands up and down her sides and her stomach. "Goodnight." And with a kiss to her forehead we both drift off to sleep.

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When I wake up, I am momentarily confused. My body is tangled with Spencer's. And then I am momentarily alarmed. Thinking when she has to leave and the pit of my stomach gets tight. But then, I remember. I remember Spencer doesn't have to leave and that there is nothing between us now. The knot in me unties and I relax into her.

"Hi." Spencer whispers sleepily, her voice full of tiredness and other things.

I mumble incoherently and push my head into her neck, letting my nose take her scent in. I feel almost like a dog for a second and then I sigh contently. I crack open my eyes and see her looking back at me.

And all at once I know something. I know that we are going to be that couple that can't keep their hands off of each other. At least I know I am. Because from all that built up love and lust from years and years of not being able to do anything with it, now, I am finally able to. And I'll never stop.

"It's so nice waking up next to you." I murmur, pulling her closer into me.

"And it's so nice not having to leave." Spencer answers with a kiss to my neck.

We just lay there a little longer. Both basking in the absolute ecstasy it is to just lay with each other. Not even having to do anything, I feel pretty much the most content I ever have in my life.

Just as my eyes start to flutter closed Spencer speaks softly. "Ash?"

"Mmm."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah." I mumble, bringing my heavy eyes to look into her blue ones.

Spencer smiles shyly as her hand sneaks up under my shirt to rub my stomach. It's more of an affectionate movement rather than sexual. And I love it. "How long have you felt this way about me?"

Her question takes me off guard and I run my memory. I don't believe there is one exact moment I can pinpoint, it was an ever-growing adoration I felt for my best friend. "A long time. Since high school."

Spencer grins at me. "Me too."

My eyes flicker back to hers, because they were previously on her lips. "What?" Spencer's eyes peer at me through her eye lashes in a heart-bursting way. "Really? I, you, I never thought…" I trail my jumbled words off, thinking. She just nods, her eyes still locked on mine.

Spencer stood still for a couple of seconds, almost like she was waiting for me to say something.

Spencer smiled and rolled her eyes. But I saw her cheeks become a little less pale.

Spencer shrugged. "Not really. I think I would have rather danced with you." She laughed lightly and looked at me.

Spencer smirked, her lips met my cheek softly and my eyes fluttered. "How 'bout now?" She asked, softer.

"Yeah." Spencer said abruptly, putting her arm around my waist. "We're very close."

I had a feeling that Paula knew something both Spencer and I didn't.

"She's dumb, Ashley. You want to go out with a dumb girl?" Spencer said with a small smile on her face. I shrugged. "Can you, just, not hang out with her as much? I don't want you to get stupid, you know?"

Spencer grinned at me and blinked. "Ash I love you too. But you know that."

"You did?" I ask softly.

Spencer nods extremely slowly. "Yeah. Always. But when you didn't say anything about Carmen, or try and talk me out of going out with her, I thought maybe you didn't."

My face falls, and even now in this blissful state it hurts to think about all the time we lost because I was a coward. "I just wanted you to be happy." I confess. "I was nervous, and I never had enough courage to tell you. Believe me though, I constantly wished I had said something. There wasn't one day that I didn't think about it." I tell her sincerely, hoping that she knows that just because we drifted that didn't mean I stopped caring or thinking about her. It was quite the opposite.

"Is that why we go so far apart?" Spencer asks in a soft way, not meanly or with any kind of venom.

I nod and close my eyes. "Yeah." And it comes out as a sorrowful whimper. "I am so sorry Spence, I'm sor-"

But again, Spencer is done hearing my apologies and her lips meet mine with just the right amount of force to shut me up. She rests her forehead against mine, catching her breathe. "Ash, it's okay. I never exactly said anything either. And plus, you shouldn't be the one apologizing, ever. God, I should have just broken up with Carmen in the beginning. So I'm sorry. But we're not so far apart now, are we?" I open my eyes to see a devilish grin on her angel-like face.

"No." I chuckle softly. "No, we're not."

"Well good." Spencer murmurs to my lips before they're reacquainted with mine once again.

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With Spencer gone and off to class, I sit around my apartment lazily, waiting for her to return. The case with all of the girls I had always "been" with was like this: Yes, I'd have a nice time with them. We would hang out. Go back to my place and watch a movie. Mess around. But throughout the whole time it was like I would be waiting for it to be over. Even if the night was nice and the girl was pretty. There was a part in me just waiting to go home, not wanting to waste my time. And in high school, I would be waiting to go hang out with Spencer. Waiting for her to text me or call me or meet me somewhere.

What I feel and always did feel with Spencer is the exact opposite. It was always her. And now, I want nothing more than to just be with her, in her presence.

My buzzer sounds and I get up excitedly. "Hey!"

"Pizza." A mumbled voice comes through.

"Uh, I didn't order a piz-"

"Pizza." The voice says again, more roughly.

I shrug my shoulders, buzzing them up. I could go for a pizza, sure.

I'm fumbling around with my money when I open the door, so when I see the person on the other side, I'm surprised.

"What the hell?"