All the air rushed out of my lunges in one loud sigh as soon as I made the choice, it was like an incredible pressure was pushing me down, making me feel weighted and heavy. In the endless, strained moments before I kissed him, I felt like I couldn't breath, like there was a binding around my chest. But as soon as I grabbed him, the instant I felt his lips brushing mine, I knew if it wasn't for his hands encircling me completely, I could have flown.

He felt so warm and tasted so good, so familiar, so right. I couldn't think straight.

As his hands slide down my sides, grazing over each rib until they rested at my hips, I felt the accustomed tingle run up my spine. His mouth covered mine, tongue gliding over tongue and teeth gnashing together like we were trying to devour each other.

I tried to get to his throat, but the material of his old, ratty t-shirt was in the way. (As if the garment wasn't offensive enough without adding its inability to move to its sins. ) My fingers tugged at his collar as my teeth nipped at his skin.

He gave a sharp hiss when I found the spot right under his ear, his secret spot, the one spot on Chuck's body that could drive him senseless in a matter of moments. Sometimes when he wasn't watching, I found myself staring at that particular spot, remembering how I could make him instantly rock hard just by blowing my breath against it.

At the moment I was doing far more than that. I slid my tongue over the place first, then I attached my lips to his skin and started sucking as hard as I could.

I ground his groin against mine, whether to show me how aroused I was making him or just for the sheer pleasure of the contact, I didn't know. But either way, he was griding into me so hard it was nearly painful.

His breath was coming out in heavy, vocal pants now, each one gusting over my flesh and raising goosebumps over me.

I moved from his neck to take his earlobe between my teeth and he hissed again when I bite down on it gently.

Chuck had a thing about his ears. Everything I did to them caused a jolt a electricity through him. I had found it out quickly, in the back of his limo actually. It was something I never forgot. A weapon in my 'Bass' arsenal. Who says knowledge isn't power ?

Still, he had never quite reacted as intensely as he was right then. He was so volatile, so uncontrolled. It wasn't like him. Even during sex, Chuck was not one to be so unbridled and out of control. I realized once, not long after we started our affair that it was another way for Chuck to remain secure and safe. Letting your partner know exactly what they do to you was admitting a weakness, at least in his eyes. It was letting them know that they had a bit of power of him. He would never openly admit to that.

But he was practically writhing in my arms. His hand, buried deeply in my hair, pulled my head back so he could get access to my neck. His tongue lathed at my throat, tasting me but at an almost frenzied pace. His other hand was tugging at the bottom of my shirt, trying to raise it over my hips. He had me practically bent backwards over the counter, his entire weight pressing on me, holding me in place. I pushed away from the counter, rubbing against his lower body as I did, to give him a better shot at his goal.

When my thigh nudged against his hardness, I was startled to find him that ready, already.

Again it wasn't like him. Not to say that he was slow to come around, but normally he had more control than that. In fact, I wasn't sure I'd ever felt him that ready.

Something was different this time with him, but as his tongue slithered along my collarbone, I was finding it hard to concentrate on what it was.

I managed to get my hands under the hem of his shirt and he gasped into my mouth when they met with his bare chest. At the same moment, he was moving my shirt over my waist, bunching it up under my arms so he could reach my breasts unhindered.

The second the cold air of the room hit my skin, I shivered and pulled closer into him, trying to stave off the chill. Obviously, he understood what was wrong because he dropped my shirt and pulled back from me.

He paused for a moment, barely enough room for air between us and just stared at me. I didn't know what he was thinking or what he was doing, my hands were becoming impatient for him to get back against me and I started to pull at his shoulders, wanting his mouth back on me, his hands back on me.

" Chuck," I whimpered as I snuggled into his chest.

My voice pulled him out of where ever he was and he suddenly stooped down and caught me behind the knees, launching me off the floor and into his arms.

I grabbed onto his shoulders and held on as he moved us back into the bedroom.

No one had ever carried me off to bed before, not even the man that was doing it now. I remembered Rhett grabbing Scarlet into his arms and plunging up the grand staircase in the movie the night before. I remember Westley hefting Buttercup into his embrace as well.

As we entered the room I refused to let go of him when he tried to put me on the bed and pull away. Instead, I just dragged him down with him, causing him to stumble against the side of the mattress and nearly fall on top of me.

He settled there, his body resting between my thighs, the weight of his chest pressing into mine.

" Are you really sure about this ?" He asked, as he cupped my breast through my shirt.

I didn't answer, couldn't answer. I remembered our first time in the limo, when he had asked me the same question. And I nodded quietly as I took hold of his empty hand and guided it to my other breast.

His thumb racked over my hardened nipples and I arched my back into him, even as my arms came around him and pulled him further on top of me. I wanted him close. I wanted to be so close to him I could drowned in him.

I felt like I'd spent months battling against the one thing I wanted more than anything else and finally I was laying down arms and accepting my surrender.

Sometimes, surrender was a good thing, indeed.

His mouth found mine, tasting, prodding with his tongue, smashing my lips with the power of his passion. I clutched at his shoulders, still furious with the disgusting t-shirt that kept me from feeling his warm skin.

Finally when I couldn't take it anymore, I pushed him away, dragging his reluctant body off mine. And as soon as there was enough room separating us, I grabbed the damned thing and hauled over his head, casting it to a far corner of the room.

He smiled down at me from his position, kneeling above me. His eyes were dark, narrowed and smoldering. This was the Chuck I loved, the one I needed. The one in control and all smug self-confidence.

He reached down and snatched me up, pulling me into a sitting position and yanking the shirt from my waist.

When we were both free from the binding of our clothes, I dropped back to the bed and brought him with me, causing him to fall forward with a grunt. The only thing keeping him from crushing me was his quick movement in putting his hands on either side of my head to stop himself.

His mouth was back on mine, plundering, demanding. I welcomed his tongue into my mouth and started to suck on it feverishly.

" God, Blair," He whispered as he dipped his head to my chest. " You have no idea what you do to me."

Feeling bolder than I normally do sexually, I reached down to his hardness and circled my hand around it. Then I squeezed and he bucked into me. " I think I do."

I squeezed him again, letting my hand run up his length as he took my breast into his mouth. When I flicked my thumb over the head, his head fell back and he groaned. Then he looked down at me with darkened eyes. " You are playing a dangerous game." He warned. " It's been too long."

" Too long ?" I rolled my eyes. " I saw the skank you were with just last week. That isn't that long, Bass."

He grabbed my waist and lifted my hips slightly, pulling out of my hand and settling himself poised at my entrance.

Then he leaned forward and kissed me. " No," he whispered against my lips. " It's been too long since I've had you."

Then he was inside me, pushing in to the hilt and not stopping till hit bottom. I arched my hips up, allowing him every inch he could garner. But once there, he stilled, even his chest stopped heaving as he held his breath.

" Don't move." He ground out between his teeth when I started to twitch my hips.

I swallowed hard as he stared into my face, his a study of concentration as he fought against his instincts and his body's need.

" No one has ever felt as good as you." He told me sincerely as he continued to just rest there, sheathed as deeply inside me as he could possibly get.

" Chuck," I whimpered finding it hard to control my own instincts as well.

Then I felt my inner muscles roll along his length, twitching against him.

He tensed and his eyes rolled back, and finally he pulled out of me, only to immediately plunge back in.

The rhythm he set for us was slow and powerful. Every thrust ripped another groan from both our lips. I could barely draw in a breath as he pulled out of me with an agonizing slowness, then stabbed back into me with a force that took my breath again. He was relentless, punishing in his passion. I grasped at his shoulders, trying to keep myself steady against his attack. His eyes stayed locked with mine the entire time. Watching every emotion that played over my face.

This was Chuck. This was who we were, almost painful in the power of our lust, bruising with the weight of our need. The first time he had been gentle. I couldn't have asked for a more patient, attentive lover, accept perhaps Nate. Nate who was always so careful, so tame, so controlled.

After the first time, Chuck had never been any of those things. Although I always felt like he was holding something back from me, he never treated me like porcelain, never made me feel as if he thought I was about to break He pushed me, pushed us both to our limits. And I loved him for it.

I had to be perfect out there, where the world could see me, but here, wrapped in his arms I could allow myself to be just as wanton and unbridled as I wanted to be. Here, I was free and I was safe. He would never judge me for any display of passion or need that I felt like showing him. No, he wouldn't think less of me, he would take it all in and give it back to me tenfold.

I used the leverage of my legs wrapped around his waist to fling my hips up, sinking him back into me the next time he tried to pull so far away. Telling him without words that I was done with slow and deliberate. He took the hint and began to dive into me so hard and fast I sank my nails into his shoulders to hold on.

Tightening my legs around him, I pulled him deeper and ground myself into him as hard as I could. His arms shook from the pressure of holding his body weight off me and suddenly he shifted and I found myself sitting over him, yet somehow he had managed to never slip from inside me.

I gasped at the new sensation our change of position caused. Then I was the one leaning over him as I sought out of his mouth again.

His hands rested on my hips, helping to guide my movements as I started to grind against him. Again I thought of Nate for some reason. Nate was a control freak during sex. Always wanting to control the pace, decide the tempo. And it was nearly always a steady, slow lingering one. Chuck was not like that at all. He was perfectly happily to simply lay back and let me lead the dance to whatever tempo I set forth.

The one I initiated was not slow or lingering. It was hard and fast and dizzying. I sat back up, and started to ride him. His hands covered my breasts and squeezed them as he continued to watch me closely.

When I started to change pace and began to circle my hips over his erection, pulling him in and keeping him there as I used the friction of my movements, he grabbed my shoulders and hauled me down to his chest. Then he planted his feet on the bed, and began to raise his hips up, thrusting his hardness inside me in a frenzy.

Oh, Fuck ! Was all I could think and he looked pleased as I realized I'd yelled it out loud.

" Such language," He tsked at me as he somehow managed to keep up the relentless pace.

I leaned back slightly so I could see his face and dragged the hair that was plastered on my cheek with sweat out of my face so I could see him fully. Then I sat up, throwing him off guard and grabbed hold of the headboard behind him. As I continued to watch him, I drove myself down, reaching new depths than we had before.

His entire body jerked and his eyes clenched shut as he yelled, " Oh, Fuck!" to the ceiling.

" That's what I thought." I told him with a smug smirk.

He grabbed my hips again, but this time more to just hold to than to guide me. He was smiling as his head fell back and his eyes closed again, " That's my Blair, always has to have to upper hand."

I stumbled in my movements. ' His Blair' ? Since when was I his Blair. He had never called me anything like that before. It surprised me and I tried to still above him, but he wasn't having any of it.

He was too far gone to pay attention to my change in composure. It was too late for words or thinking too much.

His hand moved from my hip and found the tight bundle of nerves already throbbing between my legs. As I continued to thrust onto him, he started to circle his fingers over me, adding to the stimulation and sending the thoughts plummeting from my brain.

Stars flashed behind my tightly closed eyes and I heard myself whimpering.

Then I fell, over the cliff and onto his chest as everything inside me explored all at once. I felt my muscles clenching around him, smothering him in their vise-like grip and he yelled and grabbed my shoulders, pushing me down onto him as he tensed entirely and spilled himself into me.

What felt like hours later, but couldn't have been as our chests were still heaving and our hearts still pounding out of control, I shifted. I planned on moving to his side, but he grabbed me with what strength he had left and held me tightly.

" Don't." He panted simply.

I stilled in his arms and continued to lay there over him like a sack of flour, boneless and utterly relaxed.

As our pulses began to take on a more normal rhythm, I tried to shift again, the sweat covering us both made it feel as if we had just been in a rainstorm. The chill in the air, despite the pitiful little heater was biting into my bare back and I wanted the blankets.

He mistook my attentions and tightened his arms again. " Just a little longer." His voice was quiet and almost pleading.

" I just want the blankets." I reassured him. " I'm not going anywhere."

He nodded and let me go long enough to grab the covered from beside us and cover us both with them.

Then his arms encircled me again and he stilled.

" So what happens now ?" He asked after an eternity of silence.

" What do you mean ?" I wanted to know, lifting my head enough to see his face.

" I mean," He shifted me finally and cradled me in the croak of his arm so I could see into his face. "Where do we go from here ?"

I swallowed hard, afraid of what his next words would be. " Where do you want us to go ?" I asked nervously. I didn't want to lose him again. I wanted him. I wanted every part of him. I wanted him to love me again.

His eyes got a far away look as he focused on something vague over my shoulder. " I've tried drugs. I've tried liquor. I've tried other women. Hell, I've tried several women at one time even. Still, I can't make this thing go away." He answered after a few moments to gather his thoughts.

" What thing ?"

" This thing I feel for you. The butterflies, as you called them. When you're around I can't eat. I can't sleep. All I can think about is you and the way you feel in my arms." He told me.

I decided, for some unknown reason to try to lighten the mood. I wasn't sure I was ready for this heart-to-heart we were embarking on. For the moment I just wanted to be with him without all the uncertainty and confusion. So I smiled up at him and pursed my lips. " You like me." I teased him.

" Define like." He responded, mimicking our conversation from a year earlier when we had first talked about the butterflies I inspired in him.

" You want to kiss me again." I offered.

" No," he nodded. " I want to do far more than that." He wiggled his eyebrows. " But it's a start." Then his face turned serious again and he shifted his eyes to the ceiling this time. " I never thought I would have this."

" Have what ?" I ran my finger in small circles over his chest.

He cleared his throat a little and refused to look at me as he spoke. " What you and Nate had. What Serena and Brooklyn seemed to have found. I just never guessed that somewhere out there was someone perfectly suited for me. I certainly wouldn't have thought it was the girl I used to have food fights with." I tensed beside him. And knew he could tell because he held me tighter but still wouldn't look at me. " I remember one time in grade school, your mother called my father, yelling at him because you came home from school crying because I was being mean to you and pulling your hair. My father sat me down and told me that when boys are mean to little girls and pull their hair its because they like them. I informed him very quickly that I did not like you. I was, in fact, certain you had cooties. He just smiled and told me that one day, those cooties would seem like the most important things in the world." He chuckled. " I had no idea what he was talking about at the time. We were like five then, maybe younger. Then when Nate decided a couple years later that your cooties weren't so bad. I thought he was insane." I lost myself in his voice. Chuck wasn't normally one for long speeches but this one felt like it was leading up to something big and as I laid there, nestled into his chest with his arm like a vise holding me to him, I hung on every word. " I don't know why I can't seem to move away from you, but every time I try, you somehow manage to pull me back in. You don't even have to try. I've done everything I could to make you hate me. Given you every reason to run from me. And then something happens and there you are again, back by my side like nothing happened." He shifted slightly as I brought my leg over his and let it rest there. " It was my father's fault that I ditched you last summer." He admitted. " I was all ready to go. It was everything I wanted. I felt like a kid on his way to Disney World. Then I talked to him and he scared the hell out of me. Told me that after that summer I'd never be the same. I'd grow up and learn to be responsible and mature." He grew quiet and started to fidget. Then he finally looked down at me and his face was solemn. " I'm so sorry I never came. I just wasn't ready."

" I underst-" I started to say, but he cut me off with a finger against my lips.

" I'm not done. Just bare with me a few more minutes. This isn't easy for me." He told me.

I nodded in agreement and bit my bottom lip as he turned his face back to the ceiling.

" I wasn't ready then, but I am now." He took a deep breath, lifting me slightly with the force of it. Then he turned back to me. " I can never make up all the things I've done to you, all the things I've said to you. Everything I've done that's hurt you. You have no idea what remembering it all does to me." He put his finger back to my lips again as I started to protest. " It kills me to know I've hurt you so badly because I love you."

I was shocked, speechless. All we'd been through over those few simple words and here he was, just blurting them out like it was nothing. I ignored his finger and pushed myself up to kiss him.

" I love you, too, Chuck. Always have, always will." I told him when I settled back into his arms.