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I have never, in my life, been so nervous for a date.

I'm going on a date with Spencer. A double date, actually. With Madison and her man candy from that bar. I keep trying to remind myself that it's just Spencer. But that alone makes me increasingly nervous. It's Spencer. We're going on a real date. Like, a date with two people attracted to each other. Two people that are together.

Actually, Spencer and I had gone out on a mock date once before.

"Aaaash." Spencer drawled out my name from the recliner from my living room.

The TV was on and we were just hanging out. I was stretched across my couch, almost falling asleep.

"Whaaaat?" I mumbled, my face was in the cushions.

"I'm bored." She stated, eyes on the TV screen, flipping through channels.

"Okay." I replied, closing my eyes.

"Come on! It's Friday night, we have to do something."

I rolled over so I could see her. "What do you wanna do?"

Spencer scrunched her eyebrows together in an adorable way, thinking for a minute or two. "Let's go on a date."

My head immediately popped up. "What?" I asked nervously. What?

"You know, like for fun. Let's go on a date, I'm hungry anyway."

I rolled my eyes. "Why?" I didn't know if I could take that kind of torture. Pretending to go on a date with my best friend when just the other day when we were bathing suit shopping, I had to leave the store.

"Because it'll be fun. Come on." Spencer got up, grabbed her purse, and threw my keys at me.

I groaned. "Is that how you treat your date? Throwing things at them?"

Spencer smirked at me. "Let's go sleepy head."

When we got the restaurant, The Macaroni Grill, Spencer loved that place for some reason, I held the door open for her. I pretended, as I did it, and as I gave my name to the hostess, that I really was on a date with Spencer. That we were going to go as a couple. It was something I probably shouldn't have done because the falseness of it just made me sad. But for the time being, it was a nice feeling.

I plopped down on my side of the booth and picked up the menu. "So Spencer Carlin. Tell me your likes, dislikes, dreams, wishes. You like walks on the beach, don't you?" I asked in a mocking tone with a slightly playful smile on my face.

Spencer laughed. "Really, you say that on a date?"

"No." I chuckled.

Spencer rolled her eyes. "Well, I like pasta and snails, the animal not the food. I dislike horses and peanut butter. My dream is to be a writer and I wish you'd stop being a douchebag."

I faked a yawn. "God you're boring."

"Hey!" Spencer exclaimed and threw a sugar packet at me. "You go."

"Okay, okay. I like pancakes, moths, and boots" I like you. "Dislike butterflies and band-aids." I dislike not being with you. "My dream is to be a music teacher and I wish you'd not be such a lame date." My dream is that maybe one day you'll love me and I wish I had the courage to tell you that.

"Fair enough." Spencer smiled at me and looked at her menu.

"I got it." I said to Spencer as the check came. I grabbed it before she could and put in my credit card.

"Oh, so we're a gentleman, are we, Miss Davies?" Spencer asked with a cute smile on her face.

"You know it." I told her, handing it back to our waiter.

When we got back to Spencer's house, she turned to me before getting out. "Thanks for the date, Ash."

I laughed quietly. "No problem."

Spencer grinned at me, kissed my cheek, and got out of my car. I sighed to myself and rubbed the spot where she had kissed.

"Can we reschedule?" I ask Madison on the phone while I look at myself in the mirror. I am wearing a simple black button up shirt with a collar and light, faded jeans. I look at myself and frown, maybe I should wear a skirt or something like that. I frown even more at the thought.

"No!" Madison yells. I can tell she had me on speaker phone. "Stop being a baby. I thought you love Spencer."

"I do." I smile to myself.

"So then what's the problem?"

I sigh. "I'm just…nervous."

Madison chuckles and I hear some shuffling around in the background. "Well don't be. Anyway, I think I'm gunna need some cooking spray or something get me into this dress."

I snort into the phone. "Is it that red one?"

"Yeah." She answers distractedly.

"Oh God." I groan. Last time Madison wore that red one she could barely get into it never mind get out of it. I hear my buzzer sound and my head snaps in the direction of the front of my apartment. "Uh, I gotta go. I'll see you soon." I tell her as I hang up the phone.

I buzz Spencer up and wait patiently by the door for her to arrive. My heart is thumping in my chest with nervousness and my hands are kind of sweaty. I actually roll my eyes to myself because of how lame I'm being.

When I open my door at her knock I literally feel my eyes glaze over. Spencer smiles at me sweetly and kisses my cheek. "Hi." She says softly.

My eyes sweep her over. Her in her sexy skirt, low-cut shirt, and just-tight-enough jacket. I have seen Spencer like this before, I have. But I have just never seen her like this before for me. It's a strange but almost nirvana-like feeling.

"Hey." I finally pull myself together to make words come out of my mouth.

I momentarily tell myself not to say anything about her appearance but then I remember that I am allowed to. I am still not used to being able to say things like that to Spencer. To freely admire her without feeling guilty.

"You look really good." I tell her, my eyes on her deep blue ones.

Spencer takes a step towards me and puts her arms around my neck. I put my face in her own neck and inhale the way she smells. "You too." She murmurs. I feel her hands slide down me and go into my back pockets. I groan into the skin on her neck and kiss the flesh softly.

I reluctantly pull myself away. "We should go." I announce, grabbing her hand. "I think we're already late."

Spencer gives me a small frown. And I know she wants to skip the dinner part of this date as much as I do by her unsteady breathing. "Yeah, okay."

Spencer and I walk the couple of bocks to the restaurant hand in hand. We stay in a peaceful and comfortable silence the whole time, stealing shy glances the whole way. I feel like I'm sixteen years old all over again. Even though the restaurant is pretty crowded, I spot Madison immediately. Her bright, tight, red dress stands out in the crowd, as does her tall, handsome date.

Madison gives me a one armed hug when she sees me, her other hand being occupied with a Martini. She also gives Spencer a one-armed hug, winking at her as she lets go.

"Guys, this is Louis, Louis, this is Ashley and Spencer." Madison says with a big, goofy grin on her face.

Louis shakes both of our hands like a gentleman. "Nice to meet you." His voice is deep and gruff and I hear a slight accent in it. Although I'm not sure what it is. "I got us a booth in the back." He says with a smile as he motions for us to follow him.

I laugh to myself as how overdressed Madison is. It's a nice restaurant, but she looks ready for a party on a yacht. A slightly slutty yacht. "Was the red dress necessary, Mad?" I ask her.

She scowls at me. "Yes Ashley."

"I think you look great." Spencer says with a chuckle and Madison gives her a grin.

"Me too." Louis pipes up and we laugh.

I find out that Louis is originally from Portugal, where his whole family still is. He impresses us when he speaks some Portuguese and Madison looks at him like he's some sort of Greek God. His muscles are almost popping out of his Polo. He kind of reminds me of Aiden, actually.

"So how did you two meet?" Louis asks Spencer and I as we start to eat our dinners.

I glance at Spencer and she has a goofy smile on her face. "Uh, we've known each other since like Middle School." I feel Spencer's hand go to my knee under the table, tracing small circles. It's not a sexual move, it's meant to be comforting. But I still gulp.

"Wow." Louis says, taking a sip of his beer.

"Yeah, they're newly together, after Ashley had loved Spencer for five million years." Madison quips. I can tell by the very slight slur in her voice that she's a little tipsy.

"Madison." I hiss at her.

"What, sorry." She says, giving me a smile.

Spencer shifts so that her lips brush against my cheek and then go to my ear. She whispers so softly it makes butterflies explode in the pit of my stomach. "It's okay, I loved you for five million years too."

A blush makes it way from my neck to my face and I grin at her.

"So Louis." Spencer says, interrupting him and Madison from their very obvious eye-fucking. "What do you do?"

"Oh, I'm a lawyer. That's why I came over, to go to law school."

"Wow, that's really cool." Spencer's eyes light up, and her and Louis start to talk about law things.

Madison gives me a look from across the table. She's smirking at my blush because Spencer's hand is still on my knee. I roll my eyes at her. Sometimes when I go out with Madison I feel like a thirteen year old girl being embarrassed by her parents.

I get through the rest of the dinner with no more than some scratches of embarrassment. Madison did feel the need to tell Spencer that she once walked into my apartment to find me dancing with the mop I used to clean my floors. Not the best thing, but there could have been much worse stories. Unfortunately, there is no way to reciprocate revenge on Madison because she thinks everything she does is hilarious.

I feel soft fingers trail down my neck. "You wanna dance?" Spencer asks me sweetly. I nod my head with a smile and we head to the small dance floor off to the side of the restaurant.

I ring my arms around Spencer's waste and hers come around my neck, hands landing on the exposed back of it. I sigh and bring her closer to me. We sway gently back and forth to a smooth and soothing song. My fingers are absolutely dying to feel Spencer's soft skin, and they slide under her shirt on their own accord. I feel her shiver in my embrace and my fingers move across the small of her back. My own personal shiver of delight gets released when Spencer's hands thread up and through my curls, bringing my forehead to hers.

There is a severe emotional state one enters when they slow dance with another person. It dawns on me that right now, here in this dimly lit, slightly fancy restaurant, I am dancing with Spencer Carlin. My heart does somersaults.

"I've wanted to dance with you for so long." I confess to her, my eyes closing unintentionally.

Because Spencer moves her face to my cheek, I feel the smile that is spread across it. "Me too. Ever since you taught me." She says softly.

My heartbeat is not erratic but instead, it batters in a very steady, very fast rhythm. I feel a wet kiss placed on my jaw line and my hands pull Spencer closer still in response.

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"That was nice." Spencer says as we walk back into my apartment after dessert. Madison and Louis were going to go to a bar, but Spencer and I opted to just go home instead.

For obvious reasons.

"Yeah." I say as I pull off my jacket and rest it on the arm of my couch. "Madison likes you. That's good."

Spencer grins at me. "Yeah? I'm glad."

"You should be." I chuckle in response. Knowing that if Madison doesn't like you means you might have some future problems. She's very protective.

Spencer places the palm of her hand on my cheek, and then cups my face with the other shortly after. "Thank you for the date."

I give her a dorky grin. "Of course." I tell her quietly.

We both lean into the each other slowly, and when our lips do finally touch they light on fire. Our shared kiss is slow and intense. There is absolutely no roughness to it. There is pure unadulterated passion. I pull Spencer closer to me by her shirt, deepening the kiss by tilting my head. Just like when we were dancing, her hands are in my hair.

But this is a different kind of dance.

I let out a low moan as Spencer's tongue caresses my bottom lip, meeting my own muscle soon after. My hands know what to do when they slide up and in her jacket, moving to her shoulders and then sliding that jacket off those same shoulders. I faintly hear the sound of the article hit the floor. But the sound Spencer makes when my hands slide from her shoulders down the front of her body to her smooth shirt-covered abdomen distracts me from the jacket. Slowly but surely, Spencer pulls her lips from mine and raises her arms over her head. Her dark blue eyes twinkle at me as I give her a loving smile, slowly discarding her shirt from her warm body.

And her lips are back on mine. Hot. Slow. And perfect. I allow myself to gently rake my fingernails over the flesh of her exposed back and am rewarded with an arch of the back. I let my mouth guide my lips to her shoulder that only has a bra strap on it. They kiss the skin, along her shoulder and slowly up her neck. As I do that, I feel Spencer's hands start to work on the buttons from my shirt. I groan into the place where her soft shoulder meets her equally soft neck when the hands that are unbuttoning me from bottom to top glide over my stomach. I feel an immediate flare in me that has been ready to burn for years.

My teeth run over her smooth neck as her hands run along my collarbone and down my shoulders, allowing my own shirt to fall to the floor. At an agonizingly slow pace, we walk, still pressed together, to my room. Spencer sits on my bed and I gently place myself over her, bringing my hands to run through her golden hair. When her eyelids flutter, I speak for what feels like the first time in forever.

"You're so beautiful Spence." I murmur this into her mouth and kiss her again. "I've always thought so." And when I take her lip between my teeth I hear a moan of my own name fall from her moist lips.

We both unconsciously ease down so I am partially laying on top of Spencer, one hand resting by her head for support. The other running down her body for a different kind of support. We kiss slowly but passionately. My moving hand begins to slide her skirt down gently as her moving hands unfasten my bra from my back. When it is successfully shed from my body, Spencer quickly drops it off the side of the bed and I let her skirt join my bra there.

All the while still kissing, Spencer brings her hands to dip into the back of my pants, pressuring the bottom half of my body to crush into her own. I let out my loudest groan yet as I try, with Spencer's insistent help, to relieve some of the tension that has been building from the moment Spencer showed up at my door tonight. I whimper into her very soft, and very wet mouth when a hand leaves my pants and finds home on my bare chest instead. My entire body has never been hotter when Spencer talks in a low, gravely tone. "I love you Ash."

The best I can give her is another whimper as her other hand leaves the inside of my pants and starts to undo my jeans. My arms urge her to arch her back so I can rid her of her bra. And when I do, and when she rids me of my pants, we both moan in unison at the feel of each other's skin on our own. Pressed together with nothing in the way.

This is not the first time we have had sex. It is not the second time we have had sex. I don't know what the number is. But it feels as if it is the first. Previous times were rushed and rough. Hurried and carried out with guilty hearts and heavy conscious'. This time, it feels more passionate and loving than any other time I have ever experienced.

It might as well be the very first.