Chapter 4: Small Interlude.
"So where exactly are we going?" Edward asked, while sliding into the co-pilots seat next to me.
"Ask Alice. From the fact that she is vibrating I am going to guess that she already knows." She also hasn't sat still since she got on the plane.
"She won't tell me. And she's blocking her thoughts. She keeps running through hers and Jasper's wedding vows." That doesn't sound too bad. "They were written in old English iambic pentameter, and she is going through them backwards. Have you ever read old English iambic pentameter backwards?"
"So essentially Shakespeare backwards? No, I can't say I have."
'appear did visions these while
here slumbered but have you that
mended is all and this but think
offended have shadows we if
'reappa did sonisiv eseht elihw
ereh derebmuls tub evah uoy taht
dednem si lla dna siht tub kniht
dedneffo evah swodahs ew fi'
I shook my head. Icky. "Yeah, I don't think he ever meant for those notes to be read backwards."
"Huh?" Oops!
"Nothing." Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't as—
"What did you mean by that?" I told you not to ask. Gurr.
"Have you ever read 'Romeo and Juliet?'"
"I have been through high school 27 times. What do you think?"
"I don't know. I have never been to high school."
"Then yes, I have."
"Well, then I may or may not have been the recipient of the original manuscript." Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't as—
"You mean to say that THE William Shakespeare wrote 'Romeo and Juliet' as a love not to you?"
"Not all of it, no. Only the first two acts. Everything else he wrote after I told him that I don't date married men."
"You turned down THE William Shakespeare? The man seen to be one of the most romantic men of all time."
"Yes, four times in fact. He was married, he smelled bad and he was drunk every time."
"Wow. That changes things." He turned and faced forward now, a look of dejection on his face.
"No, no, no. He truly was brilliant and romantic don't get me wrong. He just also happened to be married. And by the time he came around I was far past being done with guys. After a few thousand years the novelty that is flirting starts to wear out." I threw my hand over my mouth realizing what I just told him. SHIT.
"Wow. So how old are you exactly?"
Don't say anything Bella. Just shut up. You already told him way too much. But then I looked into his eyes. It was like the worst type of truth serum. Shit. Oh well, the shit has already hit the fan, why not make a little more mess?
"Don't really know." Honesty, best policy, right?
"Okay. Then when were you changed?"
"I'm not a vampire."
"Huh?"
"I. Am. Not. A. Vampire."
"How?"
"I thought that would be rather obvious. I have never been bitten by one or injected with their venom."
"But how is it that you are thousands of years old and not a vampire or a shape shifter or a werewolf or something of that nature. I am of course assuming that you are none of those because you lived in Volterra for some length of time." Wow. This one's smart. "What are you?"
"The world's biggest mistake."
"Huh?"
"You really seem to like that word. But to elaborate I am as old as time itself. I came before Adam and Eve. I caused the creation of the devil. I caused the creation of hell and I have been condemned to Earth until I can find the one being that can teach me how to truly love. I am also what caused the creation of the first vampire who in turn changed Aro, Marcus, and Caius. That is why they listen to me, because their creator was in lust with me. Well that and Aro wants' me bad. But that will never happen."
"So you have met, like, everyone."
"I just told you all of that and your wondering who I've met?" Maybe I was wrong about the smart thing. "And, no I have not met everyone. I have met a lot of people though. Caesar, Buddha (who was in reality quite thin), Da Vinci, Newton (both of them), most of the Pharos, Constantine, all of the Henrys, Lincoln, dated Hitler for a few days, Jason, Able, Jesus, Mary (fantastic cook), Mary Magdalene, Pilot, Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Confucius, Aladdin, Gene Simmons, Madam Curie, the Grimm Brothers, that guy who said the earth was round, the G one"
"Galileo?"
"Him too, the monkey that went to space, Al Picano, Nessie, Cassius Clay, the Three Stoo—"
"Wait, you met Nessie, as in the Loch Ness Monster?"
"Yeah."
"Oh, alright. Well then how about this, who is one person or group you wish you had met?"
"William Faulkner."
"Why?"
"Because he is one of the only writers that has ever made me want to gouge my eyes out. I hate his writing. It is far to wordy."
"You are just full of surprises aren't you?"
"Oh, just wait!"
Xoxox