xX It's too hot, It's too cold, this jacket's too thick! Xx

Within the next few days, Zexion, Demyx, and Downey had been released from the hospital. Now, they stood outside near Axel's almost totaled car, discussing their predicament.

"So… Dems. You're that author guy that Rude loves so much?" Axel asked. He was staring at Zexion, before realizing his mistake and looking at Zexion's body. "'M right here, and I have a name," Zexion said offhandedly as Demyx went to answer. "Um, yea," He said, grinning sheepishly. "Don't smile like that, it doesn't… work on my face," Zexion said, as he stroked Downey's hair. The small boy was hiding halfway behind him, holding onto the Demyx leg.

"No kidding," Axel snorted. Zexion glared at him. Downey, upset, tried to change the mood. "U-um, I have a question," He started, shyly. "Shoot," Axel said. "So… are you staying with us," Downey gestured to Demyx. "Or is Zee staying with us?" He looked up at his… semi-brother.

No one spoke for a few moments. "I think… it'd be best if Mr. Nomura stayed with my… at my home, and I stay with Mr. Draymond," Zexion suggested, looking to everyone to see what they thought.

Just as Axel was going to complain, Demyx piped up. "No, I… I think that's a good idea, actually. What would your brother and Rude say if you were caught making out with… with someone else. And I bet Rude would flip if he walked in and saw you making out with his favorite author," He laughed a little bit at the thought. Zexion snorted, and covered Downey's ears. "He doesn't need to hear such things coming from you," He said, poor Downey looking ultimately confused.

"Plus, knowing Xigbar, he would probably not be happy with some stranger in the house," Zexion said. Not that he's ever around enough to care, he added in his thoughts.

Axel, though looking sour, nodded. "Yea, it makes sense, I suppose," He grumbled.

"Let's go then, I have plans today," He added, starting to walk to his red convertible. Everyone followed with Demyx sitting in the shotgun and Zexion and Downey in the back.

On the way to Zexion's flat, Demyx and Zexion discussed the 'rules around the house'.

Zexion's list:

- Xigbar brings groceries and leaves them on the counter every Thursday. There is no need to buy any.

-Downey has to be woken up at 7:30 each morning Mon-Fri to go to school. He is to be taken to school at 8:15 sharp. He will give you instructions on how to get there.

- Do not touch anything.

- Do not, for the love of god, spill anything in the flat!!

- if Xigbar comes home drunk, lock him out of the house and or your room. Sex with him when he's drunk is terrible.

-do not have sex with Xigbar.

- I am allergic to the following: Peanut butter, cinnamon, vanilla. Please do your best to avoid these...

- Downey watches Spongebob. He will have a fit if he misses it. Record the Soup and Chelsea Lately.

- don't touch my books or movies.

As Demyx read it, he knew instantly that being inside of Zexion would be hard. It was like the guy was ultra OCD or something. 'Don't touch this, don't touch that, clean this every so and so hours'. He would hate living with Axel and Reno.

When Zexion asked for his set of rules from Demyx, he told him that he didn't have any rules except for one:

-DO NOT TOUCH MY SITAR.

When he told him, a thought immediately entered his mind.

'Oh fuck. The concert,'

"Oh my god. Axel? My concert is in a week!" He said in a panicky voice. "Oh shit…" Axel said, grimacing as he turned onto a street.

"Concert? What concert??" Zexion asked, scared.

"My band's concert!" Demyx wailed. "We're going on a world tour next week!" He continued, putting his face in his hands.

"Oh my god! What the hell do you expect me to do! I can't sing, and all I can play is the fucking piano and violin!!" Zexion yelled, practically yanking his hair out. Downey, like the good little boy he was (LIES!), covered his ears while his elder brother became Sephiroth-in-a-can, shaken and stirred.

Demyx sighed, and dropped his forehead onto the dashboard. "Um, I have an idea," Downey said, after uncovering his ears. Zexion sighed and looked to him wearily.

"What is it, Downey?"

"What if Mr. Nomura gave you lessons on how to play his instrument?" He asked.

"Of course not! We don't even know what he plays--" Zexion retorted, but was interrupted by Demyx.

"No that is actually a good idea! We can start right now! Axel! Just take us all to our apartment!" He said, causing Axel to scowl. "Yes, master," He sarcastically said, his voice dripping with venom.

x-X-x

As soon as they entered the broken down apartment, Zexion was assaulted. Reno was leaving with Rude to go to the movies when they had walked in. "Mmm, hey babes," He said, striding by as he grabbed the house keys. He gave Axel a quick romantic kiss first as he walked by, and seeing as Zexion was in the doorway confused, he was bound to be the next target. Reno laughed at something Axel had said before coming up to Zexion. He nuzzled his face into his neck and groped his butt, before leaving.

Zexion was horrified, to say the least. He had just been molested by some half-naked stranger. (An: I don't want any reviews saying that they were 'surprised that Reno would go out in public half naked'. Anybody who does should be shot. In the groin. Seven times. And a half.)

Axel just laughed at his face. "Reno!" He said, whacking him on the head.

While everyone laughed, Rude stared at Demyx in shock. "Z-zexion Callahan?" He said, rubbing his eyes. Demyx looked super confused, and the actual Zexion looked up at his name being called. Ah, so this must be 'Rude'.

"O-oh, um, yea? I mean, yes, Rude?" Demyx said, clearing his throat. Rude took a shocked step back. "How do you know my name??" He asked. "What do you mean how do I—Uh, Demyx here told me!" He responded, gesturing to Zexion.

"Yea, yea, he'll be here when we get back. C'mon, Rude, you don't wanna miss the movie now, d'ya?" Reno whined, grabbing his boyfriend's hand and dragging him out the door. But not before groping Zexion's ass again ("PTPSHASKAJKDSF!") of course.

"Hands off the author's ass, or his fiancé will have yours on his wall!" Axel playfully snapped.

"Author? What the hell? That's Dem!" Reno said, looking at his brother weird before finally leaving.

"Right, c'mon Zexy I gotta teach you to play my sitar!" Demyx said, grabbing his wrist and dashing to his shared room. "Um, Dashboard you can hang with Axel!" He said as an afterthought to Downey, who corrected his name.

Axel and he stared at each other for a little while, Axel leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. "Right. I guess we can watch TV or something; come on, Diaper,"

"It's Downey!"

"whatever,"

x-X-x

Finally, after several hours of hearing both good and horrible sounds coming out of a room down the hall, Zexion stumbled out, looking tired as hell. Axel laughed right as Demyx followed him. "I never thought I'd see you so tired, Dem," He said, grinning. "Especially from playing your sitar," Demyx laughed too. "Yea, I know, I'm absolutely pooped," He said, gesturing to Zexion. Said male scowled and dropped onto the couch that both Axel and Downey were sitting on. Zexion just laid his head on the boy's lap, looking ready to pass out. Downey smiled and brushed his brothers (Demyx's) hair like Zexion had done for him many times in the past.

Axel watched uninterested as Zexion fell asleep. "Axel, I think it'd be best if you took me and Downey back to their place now. Like he said, his boyfriend probably wouldn't be happy if he didn't show up tonight so we might as well give it a try…" Demyx suggested.

Axel sighed. "Yea, ok. Come on kid, your dad will be fine he's just asleep," He said, standing up and turning off the TV. Before Downey could answer with 'but I'm his brother', Axel and Demyx were already out the door. He carefully got up and out from under Zexion, trying not to wake him.

"Hurry up, kid!" Axel yelled from outside. Downey quickly grabbed the blanket that was haphazardly lying over the back of the couch before gently laying it over his big brother. With that, he rushed out of the apartment and down the stairs to the car.

"God Dem, how the hell did you get him so tired? Are you already cheating with him on me? Because seriously, who the fuck gets tired from playing an instrument?" Axel had been saying when Downey reached the vehicle. "He's not the kind of guy to do these things! I guess the thrill of playing my sitar is too awesome for one to stand!" Demyx grinned. "I'd never cheat on you, you know that!" He added, putting his arm around his boyfriend's neck.

"Um, excuse me?" Downey asked, once they were halfway to his home. "Yea?" Axel asked. He and Downey had become good friends within the allotted time they were together; they had tons of things in common. "Uh, how long is this going to last?" He asked, and everyone was silent once more.

"I don't know," Demyx sighed. "I hope that it will end soon though,"

x-X-x

Ten minutes later, they finally made it to the flat.

"Jeez, this place is nice," Axel said. The three got out and climbed the stairs to get to the flat (the elevator was out of order). When they got there, they found a weird middle-aged man passed out on a couch, the TV still on.

"Ah! Xiggy!" Downey yelped, running towards the man and glomping him. He woke with a start, saying something incoherent. "Yea, hey guys…" He grumbled, his voice slurring a little bit. "Oh… Xig, you smell funny again. Please go to bed so you don't do anything else stupid," The boy said, sounding both disappointed and responsible.

Xigbar nodded and stood up, with much trouble, before stumbling off to his shared room with Zexion. "I have to sleep with that?" Demyx asked incredulously. Axel slowly nodded, raising an eyebrow. "Yea, he's engaged to that?" He asked. "He's not like that!" Downey said, as he jogged back out. "Only when he drinks. He's usually really silly and nice! He even took me to the park a few days ago when Zee was too busy," He smiled.

"Ok. But do I still have to sleep in the same bed as him?" Demyx complained. "I can try and tell him to move to my bed," Downey suggested. "Eh, then where will you sleep, kid?" Axel asked. "I always sleep with Zee on Tuesdays because my nightmares are really bad on Tuesdays," He said, before running back down the hall to his brother's room.

Axel and Demyx stood there for a few moments quietly talking to each other. "Damnit, Dem I hate looking at you like this. Damnit! You look so fucking emo… Do something about that hair, will you? Or something. Ugh, never mind the hair. There's no way I'm going to fuck you anyway; too short, not my type." He ranted. Demyx, now incredibly depressed, never got a chance to reply to that, as Downey came back out.

"Um, he said no. He said that he's surprised you forgot that he owed you one for accidentally deleting the whole novel last month, so he set the date for tonight," He explained, ducking his head and blushing, his arms behind his back.

Demyx and Axel just stared at him, wide-eyed. "What?" They both said, in unison. "There's no way in hell!" Axel snapped, pushing up his sleeves and starting to march down the hall.

"W-wait! Axel, don't. He doesn't know. I'll just tell him that I'm too tired to have sex with him tonight, and it'll have to wait another day. Or just hope he passes out soon," Demyx said, hugging Axel from behind. Axel sighed. "Ok. I'm sorry, I just wasn't thinking, that's all," He said.

"All right," Demyx said, smiling and kissing him passionately. Downey had his blushing face his behind his hands, but was staring through his fingers thinking, 'this is so weird…'.

"I'll go, see you tomorrow," Axel then said after they broke up for air. Demyx nodded. "C'mon Downey, let's go to bed," He said as Axel left.

When they got into the shared bed and tucked themselves in, even though Xigbar was half-passed out on top of them. When he was comfortably sandwiched between them, and Downey was snoring peacefully (though sort of twitching from his nightmares), Xigbar mumbled something incoherent once again and put his arm around Demyx, snuggling closer to him(1). "Mnn… Nigh' Zee," He mumbled, his face attempting (And failing horrifically) to find Demyx's face.

x-X-x

In the morning, Demyx found out that Zexion most certainly was not lying. Xigbar was nowhere to be seen. Downey, though, was still there. He was on the side Xigbar was previously, and was curled up against Demyx, still snoring lightly, it sounding like a little whistle.

He slowly got up and went to the bathroom, before realizing that it was Wednesday. Wednesday. And it was now about 10:00 AM. Fuck.

"Downey! Get up, time to go to school!" Demyx screamed, diving onto the bed.

Downey awoke with a small squeak and sat up. "Z-zee, what are you—"'M not Zex, remember? Now hurry and get up so we can get you to school!" Demyx said, picking the boy up and attempting to walk to the boy's room.

"You passed it," He said, causing Demyx to silently turn around and go in it. He sat on Downey's small bed as the boy got dressed (he wasn't looking!). After getting him ready he took him to school, and then made a few stops at a couple other places.

x-X-x

When Zexion woke up, he found himself in a bed. Not his bed and most certainly not the couch he remembered that he passed out on. He looked to see what the source of warmth coming from his right was, and nearly had a heart attack and peed his pants at the same time. Xigbar did not have red hair. Yes it was long, but it was not red. Nor did he have tattoos on his face, and he wasn't this tall. That, and it was Wednesday. Xigbar only wore pajamas on Tuesday nights.

He was in a bed with Mr. Draymond's twin. WHY THE HELL WAS HE IN A BED WITH SOME STRANGER?!

After that ran through his mind, he promptly fell out of the bed before getting up and running out the door, bound on going to his real home.

x-X-x

"Xigbar? Are you home?" Zexion yelled through the house. "Yea, why? Wait a minute, what the fuck? Aren't you in the shower?" Said male came to the door, confused.

Zexion just stared in pure shock, thinking 'fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck'.

"Who the hell are you? You're not Zexion. He is in the shower. Who are you and what do you want?" He asked, blocking the way into the house.

"No, Xigbar you don't understand it really is me! It's Zexion, it really is—" Haha, yea, I know. The kid told me what happened. Naturally, I didn't believe him but now that you're here sobbing and crying I do. Get in here, betch," He playfully said, pulling Zexion to him and giving him a rough yet passionate kiss.

"Xigbar, you're kidding, right? You actually believe me??" Zexion asked, eyes wide in shock. "Of course I do. Why in the world would you come back from the store and scream when you saw me? You only do that every other stressful Monday!" He laughed, ruffling Zexion's now-blonde hair.

"Oh. Good point," Zexion said, putting his hand to his chin in a thinking manner. Halfway through his thinking process, Zexion realized that there was a Xigbar tongue in his mouth.

"Mmph! Thigbah' 'oo do rea'lithe thot 'm not—"Yea I know," He pulled himself off of Zexion to answer. "I know, and frankly, I don't care. I promised you sex. When Downey came in last night saying that you didn't want me to make it up to you I knew something was up,"

Zexion knew full when that through all this weird rambling, Xigbar was saying that he wanted to have sex. Now.

"Right now? But--" Too late. By this time, he realized that he was now on the biggest couch and was already missing his shirt.

--

Halfway through Zexion's pleasured moaning, Demyx had gotten out of the shower. Confused, he walked out to see what all the commotion was. When he and Zexion made eye contact, both screamed at the top of his lungs.

For one thing, Xigbar was pounding into his body.

For another, Zexion's body now had short, messy, dirty-blonde hair.

--

"Zexion, at least get some clothes on before you strangle the poor kid! Downey is going to be home soon!"

--

(1)wtf my whores, this isn't a Xigdem.

R-E-V-I-E-W.

rEvIeW.

REVIEW.

review.

EVIEWRAY.