DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM THE BOOK SERIES (as much as I would love to at least own Jasper).
Pixies Note: Again, not much JasperxAlice yet. I know it's killing me too BUT I have to give you guys a back story about little Alice and little Jasper first. I mean it's going to get good. I can guarantee you that. Just wait it out and be patient with me. I'm building a story here and you need these bits for the future chapters to make sense. This was written in the middle of the night and what not. Anyhow enough of my rambling, Happy Reading!
Chapter 1
As Free As The Wild Horses
Alice POV
[Biloxi, Mississippi April 24,1989]
My pair of sky colored eyes filled with tears and as soon as I knew I was slowly crumbling, I ran. I ran to where I knew I could break away, my tears pouring down the side of my face, and my sobs were heart retching as I allowed my feet to take me as far as possible from the place I once called home.
"Mary Alice!"A woman's voice called out, one hand held the door the other her heart. "Please, Alice come back!"The woman yelled, her voice cracking as the tears began to break through her strong walls. But I refused to turn back. To look back meant that I had to look at the effects that could possibly happen to me if I did. I couldn't face the fear, not yet. I felt the strong sense of being scared slowly releasing from my body as I ran freely.
My legs brought me up the hills, Angel's Crest as I had called it. The sun would set at an angle from the Hill, perfect to watch it and once the dark skies took over the bright lights seemed to outline an angel in the midst of the moonlight. At the tender age of nine the news could break me as easily as anyone could break glass. My small legs finally collapsed underneath me. My hands were my only form of support as my entire body fell and tears pouring down my cheeks like a waterfall, kneeling as the sun began to set in the horizon.
My mind flashed back to the moment, my aunt Sophie had come to break the news to me. Something so hard to bear, that fear surrounded me like a fence. It was reckless of me to run, but I knew I had to go somewhere. Somewhere I can break down, as the feeling of loneliness and fear took me in a state of shock. My mind drifted back to the moment, the words fresh in my mind.
"Mary Alice, now you listen to me. Whatever I tell you, you promise me you will not run away." Auntie Sophie had told me, pulling me to her arms as the hint of sadness took over her face. I knew she was holding back tears, holding back anything that could make me feel worse than she was feeling. I was curious, but at the same time I couldn't figure out what could possibly be as earth shattering as she made it out to be.
"What is it Auntie?"I asked like a child curious as to what the situation is. I even wondered where my parents were, my mother especially. She and I had our fair share of arguments and fights but I loved her and she loved me. She cared for me, she loved me, and she was there for me and gave me all that I wished for. Giving me the life I deserved. And my father was the one person I could run to but there was no sight of him. Not one hint they were even around.
"Promise me first, Mary Alice." She repeated before I sighed and nodded. Giving her my pinky to meet with hers in our secret binding but I crossed my fingers behind my back. Knowing I would run away if I couldn't take it. "You remind me of your, mother you know? You are Beautiful, Wise, Amazing and destined for greatness. Your mother loves you so much more than you can imagine." She began and I simply nodded playing close attention. I knew my mother loved me for a fact, but I was more eager to find out the news.
"And your father loves you dearly. And that no matter what happens from now on they both want you to know they are very much in love with each other and care about you."Her words seemed to stop and I tilted my head before she only shook her thoughts away and smiled at me faintly. Brushing away lose strands of hair that fell to my face and behind my ear. "Your mother, she is sick. And your daddy doesn't want you to see him upset about your mommy being gone so you're coming with me for a while. To Forks. Remember when you had your fifth birthday there with me you wer-"
"Will she be ok?"I asked interrupting her before the older woman fought back tears. "I don't want to leave Daddy alone here. I can wait with him until she decides to come back."I responded, knowing full well I could. Mommy did seem pale last time I saw her, then after that daddy never let me come to mommys room. Next thing I knew I never saw a sign of either of them.
"I don't know Mary; she went to see a special doctor. Somewhere far from here sweetie."She answered but I wasn't satisfied with that."And your daddy needs some time to himself."
"Will she be coming back, Auntie?" I asked.
"Dammit. Just tell her the woman left us. The woman she call her mother is gone. Not sick but dead. She's leaving with you the very next day might as well tell her the damn truth." My fathers voice broke, cruel words escaping his lips like sharp knives piercing through my own heart. My mother, has left? Gone? DEAD? Surely I felt confusion. I wanted answers.
"Daddy, Mommy's not really gone, is she Daddy? Is She?" I asked frantically, glancing at him but he didn't reply. I made way to my father breaking away from my aunties hold, "Tell me Daddy, She isn't dead. She isn't dead daddy. She isn't dead!" I asked and denied, tears on the edge of my own walls. Sadness and grief poured onto me but with a swift move of a hand slapping across my face, I was crying and making a mad dash out the door.
I let out a scream of anger and pain as I slammed a fist to the ground. It all made sense now. My mother has been sick and finally passed, and my father no longer cared for me as the grief took over him. So I was going to be left with the only person that I think could care for me, My Auntie. I would be moving with her to Forks until my father was finally settled and capable of looking at me again. I was a splitting image of my mother. I couldn't face the music though, the simple thought that my father no longer cared for me and even managed to scar my already breaking heart. And my mother, no longer walking here with me. No longer there to care and hold me. No longer…
I banged my fists repeatedly to the ground; I was too stubborn to believe it. I didn't want to believe it. The news was too horrific to be believed. My eyes were pouring, my heart, emotion, mind and whatever was left of me was all filled with sorrow and sadness. I never told my mother, I loved her as much as she loved me. I never got to do so many other things with her she and I promised to do. We were going to go shopping for my first graduation dress together, then first date dress, first dance, first prom. But now it was all gone. Slipping out of my grasp and forever lost.
I part of me blamed myself; another blamed whatever forced this to happen. I couldn't let it soak in, I couldn't. I wish it could be so easy to accept it and move on. As people would tell you but everything wasn't as easy as it seemed and often, people only say it to make you feel better. In comparison when all it does is simply make you feel worse.
I felt a pair of hands hold onto me and I knew I just had to hold on to them. Pouring my eyes out and letting the emotions pour out. I could no longer hold it, suppressing it was not an option anymore. My sanctuary was the only place I could let everything out and in this moment, I knew there was no way out any more. I heard my Aunts soothing voice calm me down. Repeating a soft song my mother used to sing to me as a baby. The words were about a small girl, born onto this world for greatness, beautiful and wise. Breaking free with the wind in her hair; Facing the fear and not being scared. She was running as free as wild horses in the fields. With those lyrics, I helplessly clinged to her, opening my heart as I allowed her in. I allowed her to comfort my already dying soul. Soon enough, my world laid to peace as my eyes shut close. Soft sobs slowly coming to a halt and everything around me began to slow down once again as I fell into slumber.
A week and a half had passed since I found out. Everything happened so fast and now, I was placing the small stuffed animal in the trunk of my auntie's car. My mother gave it to me when I was three. It was a horse. My mother named her, seabreeze. She said the horse reminded her of the freedom reflected in my eyes, like a wild horse. Free as can be and that one day, one day I would run free. And one day, my Prince Charming will come in a white horse to sweep me off my feet.
I sighed as I stared at it, my eyes never tearing away from the animal. Memories of my mother flooding into my head and spreading through me like a wildfire. My feelings were bottled up as of lately, my father was distant and cold. And my auntie preferred to shelter me from the truths of the world. I guess it would be better if I knew less, the less I would have to endure this pain. I was left to cope with everything on my own. I would just have to deal with it and keep it within my four walls.
"Get in the car, Mary Alice." She called out to me, breaking me away from my thoughts. I simply nodded and made my way to the passenger's seat in the back. Sitting by the window, as I wanted to see the place where we would be going. Forks, Washington would be a long drive from Mississippi. Plenty of time for me to come to peace with whatever I was leaving behind. I kept my eyes looking outside the window as Auntie began to drive. I saw our driveway, soon growing further and further away. Next thing I knew, we had been out of Biloxi and driving out to the long road. Days of travel awaited us but that didn't matter to me.
Days passed and soon we were a city away. We only took short stops. We made stops at a motel when it got dark, stay there for the night and leave before the sun even rose. It bewildered me how we managed to stay on schedule and arrive not a day too soon or a day too late.
I kept my focus on the scenery that passed, my eyes slowly closing as they hid my blue orbs. My mind wondered off to so many different things that I could never voice out. My mother passed away to the heavens in April, It was now May. Her favorite month and mine. She always told me May brought her luck, brought her adventure and happiness. I sat there praying, that May would bring me as much happiness, adventures and luck as it did to my mother. And that the sad story of my young life, will keep me strong in the future. That one day, I would be able to run with the wild horses.
My eyes had been closed for nothing less than an hour when I heard us pull into a drive way. Forks, wasn't exactly the greatest place to be in. I was four when I last visited. I spent my fifth birthday there and never came back to the small town. I never thought I would be back this soon again, but I guessed it was long overdue. I stepped out of the car, looking at the house before looking back at my Auntie who had managed to begin the whole unloading process. I took in a deep breath as I offered a hand, helping her through the numerous bags I had packed. Everything from clothes, shoes, notebooks, and everything else I found necessary. Mostly clothes actually but I was quite the fashionista, a part of my mother that lives strongly within me.
"Your room is up the stairs, last door to the right. It has a little balcony I got the neighboring guys do for you. I also made sure your room was taken care of and whatever you need you go on and tell me."My auntie informed me as we dragged my multiple bags inside the house, setting them in the living room first. "You should go check your room. I'll make us a quick dinner to celebrate your return to Forks."She added and I simply nodded as I made my way up the stairs and to the last room.
I gripped the knob and twisted it slightly, pushing the door open and slowly walking in. It was filled with pinks and lavender. The walls were painted a light blue and the ceiling had glow in the dark stickers of stars. A small painting of horses hung on the wall. Picture frames were set up on a few places. A large closet was in place for me and my multiple outfits, and a bathroom of my own adjacent to my room.
I ran my hand through the soft linens of the bed before walking over to the desk, doing the same as I made my way to the curtains that hid the balconies door way. I peeked out lightly before I pushed them lightly aside and I slid the door open, soon reappearing outside, where the balcony was wide and clear. A pot of flowers sat on the side of it, and a small swing set. It wasn't a mini balcony at all but almost another bit of my room only cozier and much more a reminder of home. Almost like a porch connected to my room. A perfect place for me to think and draw.
My eyes gazed off as I leaned faintly on the rail. Observing the area and breathing in the fresh air. As I did, I heard laughter coming from a place not too far away. My eyes fell on a particular group, four of them to be exact; playing in our neighbor's backyard. One was rather large compared to the rest, muscular for someone his age. I could guess he was about a year older than I am about ten or so and a foot taller. Another boy was chasing him, soon catching up and wrestling the other. Yet another ten year old I assumed. Then a beautiful-no stunning young girl was sitting down, watching the two and not exactly caring for either. She seemed to be around the two other boys age. But there was a fourth member.
A third boy was just standing in the corner watching them with amusement, his honey colored hair ruffled in the wind. His smile was the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on. And as soon as I had looked, his eyes locked with mine. His smile grew sweeter as he looked back at me. I felt my face flush as I squealed and ducked from view. My heart was pounding faster and I was surely as red as a tomato. From that moment on, I knew I could never stop thinking of that honey color haired boy. I knew, I would never stop thinking about him. Because for once in my life, looking into his deep emerald orbs, made me feel safe. Made me feel comfort. And for once, I felt that I could be as free as those horses. The wind in my hair, facing the fears and not be scared. Running free in a world filled with love and happiness.
May 5, 1989-For once, I felt hope.
Pixies Note: So I HAD to add in some JazxAli love in there so that's sort of how they first saw each other. Just gotta find out what Jazzy thinks huh? Well have no fear! I will be writing Jazzy's POV next! WOOT. Hope you guys enjoyed a little sad story of Alice's life. I couldn't bear having her be sent to an asylum or any of sorts so I had to stick with a sad alternative. I did cry writing this chapter. The song I was listening to was not only inspiring the fic but making me emotional. Anyhow, this fic also goes by fast. I needed it to be a little speedy but hopefully it didn't bother anyone. If it did, SORRY!
Anyhow R-E-V-I-E-W. Because more reviews=faster updates! And you can even leave reviews WITHOUT HAVING to sign up! So yay! You can do it!!! So review. Got it? Good! Pixie Out! :]