Chapter EIGHT

His place was a two story condo smack dab in the upside region of Detroit. It wasn't far from where her old house had been located and once inside, Kimberly took her time glancing around as she shrugged off her jacket.

It was obvious that he had invested a good deal of money into his home. The furniture was elegant but comfortable looking, the space warm and inviting with its splashes of neutral colors and sparks of red coming from pillows and accessories. There were black and white photographs on the walls as well as colorful paintings, one abstract piece decorated with an assortment of colors catching her eye from where it hung above the living room fire place.

"It's a-"

"Theo Den Boon."

"That's right." Darius smiled as he came up beside her. "You always had a good eye for art. It's not an original but I couldn't pass up the opportunity to purchase the print a couple of years back at a gallery."

"I don't blame you; it's a beautiful piece. Fighting Blue; accurately titled." She stared at the painting, eyes taking in the long strokes of red, small sections of a rich blue appearing the background as if slowly seeping into the canvas. "I do believe we attended an art gallery that had a collection of his paintings on display."

"It's one of the reasons I bought it."

She glanced at him from under hooded eyes. "Do tell."

He chuckled, almost hesitantly turning more towards her before he reached out to trail his fingers down her arm and slip his hand through hers. He thread their fingers together and she found herself drawn to the sight of it. "It's a fond memory, our first date."

"You considered it a date?"

"I always considered what we had to be more than just sex Kimberly."

She nodded slowly. "You were a lot to me Darius. I hadn't really let myself experience things until I met you." She looked back at the painting and cleared her throat.

"Do you remember that night?"

"I don't think I could ever forget it. You were very charming."

"I'm always charming." He squeezed her hand. "I was also very nervous."

Kimberley scoffed loudly. "You, an accomplished senior about to graduate and take on the world was nervous around a shy sophomore?"

"You've always been mature and very sophisticated for your age Kimberly. It was one of the things that drew me to you. I had been to that gallery a thousand times and yet you still managed to tell me things I didn't know."

"I have to admit I was very surprised when you started talking to me that day in the library."

"As soon as I saw you in the huge pile of books with your hair all messy, pens stuck everywhere and those reading glasses barely on the tip of your nose, I had to introduce myself." He squeezed her hand again. "I'm glad I took that chance."

"I am too Darius." Kimberly brought her eyes back up to his. "I'm sorry that my father…" She inhaled a shaky breath. "I hate that I spent a large majority of my life doing what everyone else expected of me. I lost a lot of time, a lot of opportunities, put myself out there only to get hurt…" She looked away. "Because of that it's hard to let anyone in, it's hard to simply… to simply just be me."

Darius reached out to take her other hand in his and he turned her to face him. "Is that why you've been coming to Johnny's every night for the past four days?" He smiled at the look of surprise that crossed her face briefly. "I might have noticed."

"Why didn't you tell me you were there too before tonight?"

"You looked like you wanted to be alone so I gave you space. Do you feel like talking about it now?"

Kimberly shook her head. "I don't know if I ever want to talk about it."

"Fair enough but you know deep down that you should. No good can come out of pushing everything down inside and drowning it with liquor." He pulled her forward as he saw her shoulders begin to shake. "Aw, sweetheart, it's okay."

Encompassed by the warmth of him, her face resting in the crook of his neck, she crumbled into a million pieces. Heart wrenching sobs poured from her but he simply held her, rocking her as he whispered comforting words until finally she merely remained pressed against him, her own arms having found their way around his waist.

Darius stroked her back, pressing his lips against her forehead. "Better?"

Kimberly nodded and pulled back to wipe at her face. "I didn't mean to fall apart like that."

"No one ever does Kimberly. It's what makes being human a beautiful thing." He reached out to stroke his hand down her hair. "What has you so upset? Is it Bobby?"

She shifted her attention away from him and crossed her arms over her chest. "He's in Los Angeles. We fought before he left."

"I've seen the papers. Something supposedly happened with the model he used to date."

"I think he still loves her." Kimberly whispered. "And if he does I'm completely fucked."

"How so?"

Her gaze slid back to his. "Because I… I…"

"Because you love him."

"I care about him."

"You love him Kimberly, any fool can see that." He stepped closer to cup her face again in his hands. "Has he told you he loves you?" He sighed as she shook her head, shoulders shaking again. "Idiot." He pulled her close. "It's okay Kimberly."

She sniffled, arms finding his waist again. "I don't know what I'm doing anymore Darius. I thought I had my life under control, I thought I was making the best decisions for me, and now… now everything's so screwed up."

"How so?"

"After Oliver I swore I wouldn't lose myself in another person again. I tried to distance myself from ever feeling that way about someone." She sighed and rested her head against his shoulder. "I lied to myself and now I'm paying for it."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." She closed her eyes. "With us Darius it was more of a friendship, a connection between two people that respected each other and you were so good to me. I experienced things with you, so many firsts…" She cleared her throat. "I cried the day Father told me I couldn't see you anymore."

"I wanted to kill him after hearing your voicemail but I understood. He wanted what was best for you and to him, it wasn't me. You were on a different level."

"I've always been on a different level." She pushed away from him and wiped at her face again. "He was so fixated on giving me what was best, on making sure that I was only associated with what he wanted me to be that he didn't consider my feelings. He never considered what I wanted!"

"What was it that you wanted Kimberly?"

His calm, easy going voice forced her limbs to relax as it always did and she sagged down into the couch. "I wanted to be out at art galleries until three in the morning, I wanted to play in the rain without caring who was watching." She traced her fingers along the leather of the couch. "For the longest time, I wanted you."

"You always had me Kimberly." Darius knelt down in front of her. "I was always your friend, that won't ever change."

"You wanted more."

"I did." He nodded and reached out for her hands. "But then you met Oliver and despite how I felt, I took a step back and let you live your life. All I've ever wanted is for you to be happy."

She smiled shakily and squeezed his hands. "Now look at us. You're afraid to let anyone in out of fear they'll end up hurt and me, well, I can't stand the idea of admitting how I feel because I might get hurt."

"Sometimes you have to take chances in order to get what you want Kimberly."

"He still loves her." Her voice cracked. "He's in love with her ghost and I can't compete with that."

"You say that but you can Kimberly. You can show him you're real, that you're not a ghost and that what you feel for him is what you feel now, it's not the past. If you let go, he will too."

She shook her head, staring down at their hands. "I don't know how to let go anymore." She whispered. "I've always had to look over my shoulder, always had to trust just me and keep my focus on everything else but what I wanted and now… now I find myself in this relationship that I thought was more than it actually is turning out to be."

"What makes you say that?"

"He just left." She pulled a hand free to bury her forehead into her palm. "He just left me. How do you spend so much time with someone and then just leave them?"

"I'm sure it wasn't easy for him. Bobby likes to put on a brave face even when things are completely falling apart; it's just who he is Kimberly. How he acts is at times a lot different than how he feels."

"I can't be in a relationship like that Darius, always second guessing how someone feels? How is that fair? I can't live my life wondering if I'm the only one who feels the way I do. I can't continuously push someone into admitting how they feel. I can't always be the one doing the work." She dropped her hand into her lap. "It was like he didn't even think of me when he was on the phone with Natalie. All he heard was that Anita needed his help and in his mind, he was already gone."

"Bobby's always been the one everyone looked to when there was a problem Kimberly. He's always been that guy."

She leaned against the cushions as he moved to sit beside her. "As soon as he hung up the phone, I knew what he was going to do. I understand being worried about someone you loved a lot but what good can he do there? What can he possibly do to help?"

"Unfortunately his way of helping often involves jail time." Darius shot her a small smile but it faded when she didn't react. "Evelyn always used to say Bobby was a smart boy when he actually remembered he had a brain. You shouldn't worry about him. I know he'll be careful."

"I don't worry about him getting into trouble Darius." Kimberly whispered. "I'm more than aware that Bobby can take care of himself. You tried to alert me of that fact right away."

"It was never my intention to-"

"I know. You've always looked out for me and I appreciate it." She patted his leg, her attention focused on the wall opposite of them where several black and white photos hung. She suddenly laughed. "My father would roll over in his grave at knowing I was with someone like Bobby Mercer. He wanted me with a respectful and dignified businessman of the state and here I am, miserable over the fact I've fallen for someone who is known for being a short-tempered, violent offender."

"Does he treat you right?"

Her gaze shifted back to Darius. "He's a good man Darius, you know that; he just had it rough growing up. Poor Evelyn, the woman must have been a saint for all the shit she had to go through with those four boys."

"She certainly was. They definitely didn't make it easy for her but they loved her and she loved them. No matter what Evelyn never gave up on them."

Kimberly pressed her fingers to her lips as she looked away. "He never talks about her."

"It's still hard for him. He was the first one she adopted and he fought it tooth and nail at first. The man can be a tough nut to crack Kimberly; we all know that." Darius cleared his throat. "I remember when he came back for the funeral; even during the service you could tell his mind wasn't there. He was already thinking of the next step, of what came next in order to protect his family and do what he thought was right."

"Do you think he killed that man?" She whispered.

"Kimberly…"

"Do you?"

"Yes." He watched her face as it remained expressionless. "I can't prove it but I believe he did. I think he found out that Sweet hired men to take care of Evelyn after she started causing a fuss about Jeremiah's business going bankrupt. Sweet was known for putting businesses through the ringer so to speak before buying them out or shutting them completely down."

"What happened to the men he hired?"

Darius scratched at his chin. "They were killed too."

"Do you think…" She closed her eyes. "Do you think Bobby had something to do with that too?"

"Kimberly…"

"Just answer the question Darius." She opened her eyes and directed her attention back fully to his face. "If you care for me at all, please don't play games with me right now."

"They were connected to Evelyn's murder so the chances of it are good."

"Good? You're telling me he could be responsible for three murders and that's good?" Kimberly rose to her feet. "And what if you could prove it? What would you do then Darius?"

"I wouldn't do anything but I can't control what the department does as a whole Kimberly, you know that. The case is cold, it's been cold since day one, but the past has a way of coming back to haunt a person. That's why I wanted you to be careful. I like Bobby, I've known him and his family for years now, but it doesn't mean I automatically trust him when it comes to flying straight. His past is enough of a reminder to me that I shouldn't."

Kimberly ran her hands through her hair. She began to pace in front of him. "He would never intentionally hurt me."

"I know he wouldn't Kimberly."

"He's a good brother and a good father."

"I won't argue that, the only thing Bobby's ever truly had was family. It's what has kept him going all these years." Darius stood up. "But it doesn't change the facts Kimberly. When it comes down to it, Bobby will do what it takes to protect what's important to him and if he had any common sense in that head of his, he'd see that should include you."

She leaned into his touch as he came up to place a solid hand on her shoulder. "He does see that." She cleared her throat. "But he also sees his loyalty to Anita and the family he knows back in Los Angeles and that's what scares me the most." Her eyes returned to the painting above the fire place. "I'm scared that I've already lost him."

"We both know that's not true Kimberly."

"He asked me to come with him." She whispered. "And like an idiot I said no because I had to be stubborn, I told myself that I had to put up a wall or else everything I thought I knew would mean nothing… but deep down I told him no because I can't face her. I can't be asked to see them together and pretend the connection doesn't exist."

"Did you tell him this?"

"We… exchanged words but for the most part, I don't think he realized exactly how much I heard when he was on the phone with Natalie the other day. I put all the blame on work, on having obligations as I called it, but when it comes down to it, it's just because I'm scared to face her." Kimberly let out a dry laugh. "How pathetic. Kimberly Carter is afraid of a woman she's never met."

"I know it's hard to believe right now but there's no reason you should be Kimberly. You're an amazing woman with a lot to offer." He turned her towards him. "I saw that and so did Bobby. He wouldn't be with you if he didn't. Hell, he wouldn't have invited you into his home and introduced you to his daughter had he not seen something in you."

"He saw himself in me, that's what he saw." She shrugged off his hands from her shoulders. "And at first I tried to keep it simple, I tried to make it only about sex, all about the mutual attraction but he just wouldn't let me! He kept pushing and now… I don't know, forget it." She shook her head. "I don't want to talk about this anymore. I'm tired of talking about it."

Darius sighed and reached out to pull her towards him despite her protests. "Tell me what to do Kimberly. Tell me how to help you."

"You wouldn't happen to have any bourbon would you?" She mumbled into his shirt.

"The bar is closed young lady." He chuckled. He shifted her back so he could see her face. "Are you sure I can't take you back to your house?"

"I can't go back to that empty house. I don't… I don't want to be alone right now."

"You know you're always welcome here." He let out a small sigh as she leaned forward to brush her lips against his. "Kimberly…"

She hesitated before leaning in again, this time the kiss deeper than before. They broke apart after a minute and she rested her forehead against his chest.

"What am I doing Darius?"

"Nothing. You're not doing anything." He kissed the top of her head. "Come on." He stepped away. "It's late. Let's get some rest. You can take the bed and I'll take the couch."

"There's no need for you to do that. We can share the bed."

"Kimberly…"

"Please, just… let's just share the bed. Nothing has to happen. It'll be like old times." She grabbed for his hand and raised it to press it against her cheek. "Please?'

His light eyes studied her. He nodded. "Okay. Let's go."

08080808080808080808080

It was the sound of her cell phone vibrating that woke her. Groggy, she fumbled to find her phone on the nightstand and almost succeeded in knocking off the tiny clock and nightshade in the process. Darius lightly stirred beside her but thankfully he didn't waken and she slid free of the sheets.

She shut the bedroom door softly behind her and in the darkness of the hallway she finally answered, her voice raw from being unused. "Hello?"

"You haven't been answering your phone."

Kimberly slid down the wall until she met the floor. "I've been busy."

"Yeah, I know. Melody told me." Bobby replied quickly. "Every fucking time I've called for the past fucking week, that's all she's ever fucking told me."

"Bobby, it's two in the morning."

"Tough shit, it's not even midnight here yet. I've been worried Kimberly. I've missed you and I've wanted to talk to you and all you can say is it's two in the fucking morning?"

She rested her head against her knees and sighed. His voice made her insides tighten and she pressed the phone harder to her ear as if it would do anything to relieve the pressure. "How are things in LA?"

He sighed as well. "They're better now."

It took her a few seconds to regain the ability to speak. "I'm glad to hear that."

"Oh yeah? Did you also hear the part where I missed you?"

"I miss you too." She whispered.

"Then why won't you answer when I call you at normal hours?" He was obviously trying to keep his voice low, his tone light and relaxed but she could tell underneath there was tension. It made her own body stiffen almost as if preparing for the impact of a crash seen coming miles away.

"I've been busy Bobby. I'm sorry." She closed her eyes. "How is Marley?"

"Marley's great, she's enjoying visiting her family. She misses you too and asks about you every night when I put her to bed." He chuckled. "She tells everyone your name is Pretty Kimmy."

Kimberly hit her head against the wall as she bit back the sudden sob threatening to tear its way up from her throat. "I miss her too, very much." She couldn't help herself. "When are you coming home?"

"I still don't know."

"I see."

"Kimmy…" Bobby sighed again. "Soon. I promise. A week, two max? And then I'll be home. Two weeks baby and then Marley and I will be home." He cleared his throat. "Everyone keeps asking about you. They wanted me to tell you that they hope next time you'll come."

She pinched at the bridge of her nose, tears leaking slowly from the corner of her eyes. "Next time, right."

"Don't do that Kimmy."

She tightened her grip on the phone at his words. "It's late Bobby. I have to be at work in four hours for this presentation to the board concerning a new merger so..."

"I talked to Jerry yesterday."

"And?"

"And he told me each time that he's been by the house you haven't been there." Bobby's voice rose slightly. "He said it looks like you haven't been there in days."

"I haven't."

"Where the hell have you been then Kimberly? If you're not sleeping in our bed…"

"I've been at a friend's."

"What friend?"

"Bobby…"

"What fucking friend?"

"Since when did you become my father?" She snapped. "You're not here Bobby. I can't go back to that house knowing you won't be there! I can't sit alone knowing I won't hear Marley in the next room. The silence, the smells, the toys; it fucking kills me to see it! I can't stand this anymore Bobby."

"If it's about being lonely Jerry and Camille would love to have you over. They have a spare room."

"Are you fucking stupid?"

"What the fuck did you just say?"

"You heard me Bobby." She snarled. "Do you even hear what I say or does it go in one ear and out the other? Do you even give a shit that I'm basically telling you I want you to come home or maybe you just don't care because all you see is Anita."

"That is bullshit Kimberly!"

"The fuck it is. You know what, fuck it; stay out there two more weeks, stay out there five if it makes you happy. Hell, I read Anita's pregnant now; stay until she has her baby and maybe they'll let you not only deliver it but name it too!" She snapped the phone shut and slammed it down on the carpet. As soon as it began to vibrate again, she snatched it up. "I don't remember asking you to call me back."

"You fucking hung up on me!"

"So you noticed!"

"What the hell is wrong with you? Do not fucking hang-"

She snapped the phone shut again. Her hand shook she clenched it tightly and seconds later it vibrated. "You just don't give up do you? You're like one of those retards at a bar who can't take no for a fucking answer!"

"Hang up on me again and I swear to God I will be on the next plane out!"

"Do not tempt me!" She retorted. "I'm this close to dumping my phone into the toilet!"

"What the fuck Kimberly? Are you on the rag?"

"Fuck you Bobby, fuck you!"

He let out a bark of laughter that held no humor. "Good one, why didn't I think of that? Oh yeah, let me see; I have fucked you and you loved every damn fucking minute of it."

"That's right Bobby, I loved it so much I had to fake my orgasm every time!" She shook as she sat there. "At least I know one reason Anita broke up with you in the first place. I would say it's too bad she's pregnant because you could give it another shot but I doubt that's stopped you in the past."

"What … the… FUCK?"

"Hear that a lot from the ladies do you?"

Bobby was practically hissing in the phone and she felt a flare of satisfaction hit her at the sound of something breaking in the background. Someone yelled. "One week Kimberly. One fucking week and then I'm gonna make you regret saying any of this."

"News flash Bobby; I might not be here because there is no you and me, not while you're with Anita."

"I am not with Anita!"

"When you hugged her did you close your eyes?" Her voice was shaking, tears now flowing down her cheeks. "Did you smell her hair and think about all the times you were together and you were happy?" She wiped at her face. "I hope to God that you are happy. At least one of us is."

Kimberly ended the call and this time powered it down, watching as the lights flickered and then there was nothing but the sound of her heavy breathing filling the hall. With a scream, she threw her phone at the wall and it splintered into pieces.

She wrapped her arms around her legs, burying her head there and sobbing, she shook as Darius bent down next to her. He stroked her back, whispering softly but the words were unintelligible and still crying, she collapsed into his open arms.