Disclaimer: Don't own it. 'Nuff said. Actually, fiberkitty said we needed to state that we are NOT SM because we kick ass, so, no, we are NOT Stephenie Meyer. If we were, we would have named the kid a hell of a better name than Renesmee
Preggers and Proud: A Jasper/Alice story
AN: I know, I know! I'm terrible! I never manage to get this out on time when it's my turn, do I? *blushes sheepishly* Uh...sorry? Here's the new P&P! Love, MM1
Jasper POV
The next morning dawned bright and beautiful. I silently slipped from the bed to make breakfast for Alice and Reagan. She had been quite the trooper last night at Chuck E Cheese. I hadn't made it easy for her either, the last straw being when I feigned exhaustion as she stood in line with the kids to redeem their handful of tickets. Why in God's name it takes a child thirty minutes to pick out a piece of junk that you have pumped fifty dollars in tokens to get, was beyond me. But she had stood and waited patiently while the kids flip-flopped back and forth between the tiny notepads and tattoos.
I was just adding a handful of cheese to the omelets when I felt her hands snake around my waist to rub my belly.
"Morning darlin'. What's for breakfast?" My drawl as prominent as the erection tenting my pajama bottoms.
"Since when do you say darlin'? And I am fixing you a Denver omelet, that is if you think you can put that thing away long enough to eat." I gave my cock one long stroke through the fabric and was met with an appreciative growl.
"I don't mind skipping breakfast, if you don't. Come on, sexy momma, let's get back in bed."
I stood on my tiptoes to receive her searing kiss, winding my fingers through my hair. Hmmm, soft. I wonder if she has been using her girly shit on me.
She had me half way down the hall when we were met by an enthusiastic Reagan.
"Mommy, Daddy…good morning. Where are you going? Don't want to be late for school; it is show and tell day." She was bouncing on the balls of her feet, her hamster cage in her hands. No doubt where she got her endless supply of energy.
"We will continue this tonight, Mrs. Whitlock." Alice whispered in my ear, following us back to the kitchen. I felt a slight dampness in my panties, more than a little sorry we had been cockblocked, or whatever the fuck women called it.
I finished up breakfast, sent Alice on her way and loaded Reagan into my truck, along with her lunchbox, backpack, her hamster, Toodles, and the bag full of juice boxes that Alice had volunteered to bring for their special show and tell day. Fuck, were we going to first grade for the day or moving cross country?
"Mommy, why are we in Daddy's truck?" Reagan's little voice piped up from the back.
"Uh…we just thought we would switch for a few days. Do you like riding in Daddy's big truck?"
The cutest little giggle escaped her lips and I felt my heart melt. I couldn't believe in a few weeks I would have another little sweetie pie.
"Yep, but you look funny, Mommy. You look just like one of those little people off the Wizard of Oz."
I had to admit she was right. Alice never wanted to drive my truck and now I knew why. Even with the seat pulled all the way up to the closest setting, I had a hard time seeing over the steering wheel. It felt like I was driving a bus. Slowly I backed out of the driveway and headed towards the school.
I made it back home, more than a little tired and figured that I could finally catch up on a little shut eye. I was just about to lay down when I saw the bright pink piece of paper lying on the pillow. I unfolded it and noticed Alice's handwriting.
Jasper,
I am sure you were in here to straighten up the bed; however there are some errands you need to run.
I have some dry cleaning that needs to be picked up. You can also go by the grocery and get the things on the list at the bottom of this note.
Don't forget Reagan has dance lessons this afternoon and then she is going to Em and Rose's to make cupcakes for the school bake sale. All the items you are getting at the grocery are for that. We swapped out. We are buying the supplies and Rose is doing the baking - a great deal on our part, I think.
I'll be home at six and I am taking your, or should I say my sexy ass to dinner. So wear the red dress, you know your body loves my baby curves in it.
Love you,
Alice
I threw down the note and flopped onto the bed. Does this ever end? It is like a never ending cycle. All I wanted was a little peace and quiet…
Oh well, never one to procrastinate, I pulled my shoes back on and headed back out the door.
First stop was the cleaners, where I just about lost my breakfast at the amount I had to pay for a couple of pairs of slacks, three dress shirts and one of Alice's dresses. No wonder she throws such a shit fit when I don't hang my clothes up.
Next stop was the grocery store. I filled the basket full of cake mixes, icings, all sorts of sprinkles and cupcake holder thingamajigs. I was headed to the checkout when I made the mistake of passing through the candy aisle.
The next thing I knew I had added a bag of jolly ranchers, some milk duds, gummy bears and a whole six pack of Snickers bars to the basket. Damn, I was hungry. I glanced at my watch. I had plenty of time to get home, eat and still get that nap in before I had to pick up Reagan.
I polished off the milk duds on the way home and then headed straight to the bathroom as soon as I parked the truck for my hourly pee break, before making myself some lunch.
I was coming out of the bathroom when I heard the doorbell ring. I waddled down the hall, completely surprised at who was on the other side.
"Pumpkin, you look wonderful. Are you ready for our lunch date?" I felt the air leave my lungs as the burly man in front of me pulled me in for a tight bear hug.
Of all the rotten luck - Alice's father.
"What are you doing here, Roy?" I asked, barley disguising the contempt in my voice. I had a hard time with Alice's father throughout the years. He had never actually done anything wrong, per say. But he indulged Alice's every whim, even when I had said no to something.
"Since when do you call me 'Roy'? And did you forget our lunch date? We set it up last week."
"Uhh…I guess I did." Maybe I could use the pregnancy as a way to weasel out of it. I absolutely did not want to spend the afternoon with Roy Brandon.
"You know I am really tired, do you think maybe…" My voice trailed off at the look on his face.
"I know it is not the best timing for you Ali-kins. But we have some things we need to get settled. So go grab your jacket and I'll meet you in the car."
He turned and headed back to his Sedan as I scurried down the hall, grabbing the phone. I punched in my work number and was surprised when Miya answered.
"McCarty, Whitlock and McCarty how may I help you?"
"Hey, Miya, it's me. Can I speak to Alice, please?"
"Umm…excuse me?" She questioned into the phone.
Shit, it was hard trying to keep everything straight.
"I meant it's me…Alice. Can I speak to Jasper?"
"Sorry, Alice. He had a uhh…special meeting with Mr. Alister this afternoon. Is there something I can help you with?"
"No, that's alright. Have a nice day, Miya."
"You too, Alice. I'll tell Jasper you called when he gets back from the spa…spa-ecial meeting he had." She was laughing as she hung up the phone, leaving me to wonder what was so funny about her appointment with Leo.
I grabbed Alice's purse and slid into the front seat of Roy's car. God this was going to suck.
"So, do you want to head to Maggiano's for some Italian or perhaps Morton's for a steak?" Hmm, what did I want to eat that would take a hefty size chunk out of Roy's wallet? I pondered for a moment but I knew there was only one thing that would satisfy the craving I had.
"Actually, Daddy, I think I would like to go to Buffalo Wild Wings."
"You're kidding right?" He asked with a slight chuckle.
"No I'm not. I would like some hot wings. Is there something wrong with that?" I huffed, crossing my little arms across my chest, just like Alice would. Though, she didn't normally act quite as bratty as I was now.
"Of course not. And what my baby wants, my baby gets." He said as he turned the car around and headed in the direction of the restaurant.
Ten minutes later we were sitting in a large booth, engulfed in an uncomfortable silence. Finally, the waitress came and took our order. Roy gave me a pleasant smile as I rattled off what I wanted.
"Let's see, twenty five spicy garlic wings, a large basket of potato wedges, a large lemonade with extra ice, and a super brownie explosion for dessert." I handed her back the menu as I turned to Roy. "Do you want anything?"
"My, my, my. You have quite the appetite lately. And actually I think I'll have the same, but make my wings blazing." He said as he handed his menu back to her also.
I waited until she was out of earshot, before turning my attention back to him.
"Are you sure you want to eat all that spicy, fried food? It can't be good for you, especially after that clogged artery two years ago." Alice would kill me for loading her dad up on heart attack fare.
"Sweetie, I think some hot wings are the least of my worries now." He reached into his inner coat pocket and pulled out a couple of folded papers and passed them across the table to me.
"So here is the copy of the will and copies of my insurance papers, and all the plans we discussed at the funeral home last month, everything is already taken care of, so you won't have to worry about anything. You still have a copy of the safety deposit box key, right?"
My mind started spinning. What the hell was he talking about? Wills? Funeral homes? I was completely lost.
He waited until the waitress had brought our drinks back before he started again.
"Now did you finally talk to Jasper about this?"
"Umm…no." That was an understatement. I took a long sip of my lemonade as I skimmed over the papers in front of me.
"Alice, I told you to talk to Jasper weeks ago. You are going to need him. I know you don't want to accept what is happening, but my time is growing short."
I felt my heart rate accelerate. Alice's father was what…dying? Why hadn't she said anything to me?
"I, uhh…when, how?" I stuttered to get the words out. I may not be a fan of the man, but he was all the family Alice had left besides Reagan and I since her mom died in a car accident eight years ago.
"Doc says it won't be long. The cancer is spreading rapidly. Maybe six weeks."
Six weeks? He might not even get to see the baby? Despite being a man, I still felt the connection to the child I was carrying, or, well, whatever, and my hand dipped down to my stomach automatically. "Well you need to come stay with us." I said quickly. "Shit, why is this happening?"
"Alice, we discussed this. You have a baby on the way. Jasper is working at his new firm. The last thing you need is a patient to take care of. Now, I have a nurse all lined up, all my affairs are in order, I'm ready. I have been without your mom for too long." He reached across the table and gave my hands a tight squeeze, as I felt the tears well up in my eyes. Damn, hormones.
The waitress came back and sat our orders in front of us. Suddenly, I didn't feel like eating.
"Roy…I mean Dad. Is there anything you need me to do?"
"I want you to tell Jasper, soon. I have set up a trust for Reagan and the new baby, but the rest of the money will be going straight to you and Jasper. And munchkin, as much as I love you, finances are not exactly your forte."
I let out a little snort. That much was the truth. Alice could probably spend an entire inheritance on shoes and purses without batting an eye. But wait, he wanted me involved?
"But Jazz…you mean you are leaving it to us both?"
"Of course I am. I know we aren't close, but I like Jasper. I have told you this before."
"But…but you spoil me and Jasper…" I let my words trail off.
"Of course, I spoil you. You are my baby, just like Reagan is Jasper's baby. Don't tell me she doesn't have him wrapped around her little pinky."
I thought back on the dozen purses hanging in her closet. Just like her mom. I couldn't walk into a store without buying her something.
"Jasper is caring and hard working and helps keep you grounded. I couldn't have picked a better man for you to marry. And I know when I am gone he will take great care of you…all of you."
"But why have you never told him this?" My mind was still reeling from all the revelations.
"I don't know? We're guys. It's not like we go around discussing our feelings and such."
"Unless you're Edward!" We both said at the same time. That got me laughing until I had tears rolling down my cheeks. I had no idea he even knew Edward.
We spent the rest of the afternoon eating and laughing, until I had to get back home to pick up Reagan from school. I couldn't believe I had let my stupid male ego get in the way of being friends with this guy. And now he was dying. I felt the tears start falling down my cheeks again as I let myself out of the car.
"Don't cry baby. Everything will be fine." I let him pull me in to a tight embrace and I hugged him back just as tightly.
"I love you…Daddy. I want you to come over for dinner next Tuesday, okay?"
"Are you sure Jasper won't mind?" He asked.
"Positive. So we'll see you next week."
I watched as he drove off and then, realizing the time, hurried to the school to grab Reagan. We were cutting it close to make it to dance class, but we made it. After class finished, I deposited her at Em and Rose's.
I made it back to the house with just enough time to shower and slip my dress on before I fell asleep in the chair, to thoughts of what I was in store for tonight.
Alice POV
"Good morning!" I sang as I stepped into the office.
"You're chipper this morning, Jasper." Miya said as she handed me my schedule for today.
I grinned. "Yeah, well, some days you're the windshield, some days you're the bug. Today? I'm the windshield."
She giggled.
"Quoting Mary Chapin Carpenter this morning?" Jamie asked as she stepped in as well.
I grinned. Being in Jasper's body seemed to bring out the country music buff in me. "As a matter of fact."
Jamie looked at Miya. "If he starts singing about passionate kisses, don't you take him up on the offer."
Miya's lower lip pouted out and she snapped her fingers. "Damn it."
I laughed. I'd long since known about Miya's crush on my husband. And that was fine. I knew she would never cross that line, or, rather, if she tried, Jasper would put a stop to it. He knew I knew people with connections…connections that could get him some concrete shoes, that is. "So, ladies, I've got some…work stuff to work on. Call me if you need me…" And with that, I stepped into Jasper's office.
I worked on Leo's presentation from "Alice" for about fifteen minutes when I suddenly remembered what tomorrow was. Crap. I had to make sure I stayed right with the doctor. If he said one thing out of turn…Jasper would have my ass on a platter. I dialed Rosalie's cell phone number and she answered on the first ring. "I'm on my way, damn it! I'm sorry! Stupid fucking hormones! I had to!"
I giggled, well, with Jasper's voice it ended up sounding like a guffaw. "Exactly what are you owning up to?" I asked.
"Alice?"
"Yes."
She blew out a breath. "I thought you were Jamie calling me. I was…horny, this morning. We rode together…and…"
"And you stopped off on the side of the interstate for a quickie?" I asked.
"No! It was the Wal-Mart parking lot, and…" She started.
I laughed again. "Fine, but I have bigger fish to fry than you getting some from Emmett. Tomorrow is my doctor's appointment."
"Uh-oh." She said.
"Yeah, what am I…"
Just then my intercom buzzed. "Jasper? Mr. Alister is here for you."
"Shit, give me five minutes, okay?" I told her before turning back to my phone call. "Listen, Rose, what am I going to do?"
"You could just come clean."
"No. We're so close…I just wanted…"
"Ali, look. The doctor is concerned. Jasper's in the body of a time bomb."
"It's not that bad, Rosalie!" I screeched at her. "I'm healthy, I'm just tiny!"
"And Jasper's the one stuck inside that tiny thing. You know what the doctor said. If your blood pressure went any higher, he was putting you on bed rest."
I blew out a breath. "It's just a little high. I was watching what I ate…"
"And you really think Jasper is watching what he eats? He's probably snacking on ho-ho's and candy as we speak. The doctor was also concerned about your blood sugar…"
"Don't, Rose, okay? I'm stupid, this was stupid, I shouldn't have…but I did and now…" I sighed. "I'll tell him, so he's not shocked tomorrow."
"Go, put it out of your mind. It's fine. You're fine, he's fine, the baby's fine, go enjoy your time at the spa, you bitch. Leaving me to do all the work."
"Well, if the going gets too tough, you could always fuck Emmett on your desk." I snorted.
"Not a bad idea…" She said.
"Eww…" I said as I hung up the phone. Then I glanced at Jasper's desk. Hmm…well, I guess I couldn't say much. I was pretty sure this second baby was conceived on his desk when he was working at the other firm…
"Ahhh…this feels amazing." I said as the woman pressed the hot rocks into my back.
"Mmm…" Leo mumbled, his face stuck in the hole in the table. "This was a great idea, Jasper. I haven't been massaged in forever."
"I get one every now and again, but this was just what the doctor ordered…" I already felt loose as a goose and more like "Alice". We'd had facials, had manicures, and now we were getting massages.
"You know, when you suggested this, I didn't really think…" He started.
I chuckled. "Well, granted, this is more my wife's thing, but I just said, 'what the hell' and went with it."
He lifted his head and smiled over at me. "So, when are you going to let me meet this allusive wife of yours?"
"Well…right now isn't the best time, she's concentrating on the baby, but after the birth, sure, I'm sure she would love it."
He sighed. "It must be so nice to be with someone you love."
"You don't have anyone special?" I asked him.
He shook his head. "No, it's hard to find a good man."
I snorted. "Tell me about it." Jasper was one in a million, that much was for sure.
"Pardon?" He asked.
Crap. Gotta watch that internal filter more carefully. "I, uh, I just remember how hard it was, the whole dating scene…"
"It's exponentially harder when you're a gay man, Jasper, let me tell you."
I thought a moment and a name popped into my head. "You know, Alice has a friend…"
His eyebrow rose and I smiled. "Someone she knew from college, he was in design with her…" I hadn't seen Josh in forever, but I just got an email from him a week or so ago. "Maybe we should set you up on a date."
"I don't normally do blind dates." He said.
I smiled. "But it couldn't hurt, right?" I prompted.
He laughed. "Do you always get your way?" He asked.
I'm Alice. Of course I do.
I drove home excited. I'd asked Jasper out to dinner…just the two of us. It would be the perfect opportunity for us to talk about things and maybe see about how we're going to go about switching back. I enjoyed being him, but I knew it wasn't fair to him, and truthfully? I really missed my time with Ray-Ray and the girls. I don't think I'd enjoy working full time again. That would just suck.
I pulled up in the driveway and was surprised Jasper was already walking out of the door. Was he standing there looking out the window? I chuckled and deciding to do what he normally did, I stepped out and walked over to hold the door open for him.
He beamed up at me and I bent down to kiss him. "Hello, did you have a good day?"
Tears floated in his eyes briefly but he blinked them away. "Yeah, I did…it was…interesting."
"Uh-oh." I said. "What happened?"
He smiled. "Get in and I'll tell you about it."
I sidled over to the driver's side and slid in. "Where are we going?" He asked.
I smiled. "You'll see." I'd gotten us reservations at the little Italian place down the road. "So, how was your day?"
"I had lunch with your dad." He said flatly.
"Jazzy…"
"Alice, why didn't you tell me he was so sick?"
I felt my own eyes water. "Jazzy, I didn't want to…I mean, with all the stress you're under I just…"
He grasped my hand and said, "Alice, you should have told me. Never fear about telling me the truth. I may not be happy with it, but I'll always stay right by your side, you know that, right?"
I sniffled and nodded. I didn't want to think about my daddy dying…I just couldn't take it. I knew it was getting nearer to the end, but I just kept hoping…I'd gotten him all kinds of herbal treatments and vitamins and bless his heart, he was taking them. But I was hurting with the thoughts of him…
Just then, I noticed the car pulling to the right a little bit… "Jazz…I think the car…"
"Pull over," He instructed me shortly.
I managed to pull off onto the side of the road and we both got out. He kicked the now-flat tire with my delicate Jimmy Choo's and I had to fight the urge to groan. If he knew how expensive those shoes were… "It's flat." He stated.
I resisted the urge to say, "No shit" and was quite proud of myself that I didn't. "So…what are we going to do?"
He looked at me, then down at his stomach. "Uh, well, in case you haven't noticed…I'm kind of pregnant…so…"
"Eww! I'm going to have to change a tire?!"
"Well, I sure as hell can't do it, Alice!" He screeched at me.
"Don't you yell at me, Jasper Whitlock! I don't know how do to it! I normally call you or Daddy!"
"You sure as shit are not going to call your father! I will not have him think I'm a total pussy and unworthy of the things he said about me today!"
I was curious as to what exactly they said to each other, but I said, "Fine. I'll just call Em, have him come do it. At least he knows what's going on."
"Fine! I'm going to sit in the car!" Jasper said, stopping my small feet in the process.
Great. Just fucking great! I pulled out my phone and dialed Emmett's cell number. He answered on the third ring. "Yo, Jalice! S'up?"
"I have a flat tire." I said.
He let out a snort, and then he started laughing his ass off.
"Ha, ha, jackass. Can you come change it?"
"Nope."
"No? NO?! Why?"
"Because, if I leave Rosalie here, pregnant, with three girls and fifty cupcakes, she'll de-ball me and I'm rather attached to my balls…"
"Fucking pussy!" I growled.
"Hey! You really sounded like Jasper there!"
"Not…helping…Em." I said through gritted teeth.
He laughed again. "You've got all of Jasper's strength. I'm sure you can figure it out."
I snapped the phone shut, hanging up on him. I stepped to the driver's side door and popped the trunk. Jasper just glared at me. I slammed the door shut and walked to the back of the car once more. I got out the tire iron and looked at it. It had little groves on it for the bolts…this couldn't be too hard, could it?
Next, I saw the tire and tugged it out of its special little hiding place under the floor of the trunk. Cool. I saw something else, and it looked like a jack…I'd seen one of them on TV. I got it out as well.
I sat all my supplies next to me and looked at the tire. Okay, Ali, you can do this. It's…easy, right? I picked up the jack once more and put it under the side of the car. I grabbed the bar thingie and started pumping it up, just like I'd seen them do in the movies. Pump, pump, pump, and then…I heard a CRACK.
"What the hell?" I looked…and shit! There was now a crack in part of the car! How the hell did that happen? What had I done wrong? Now I'd broken the car? I felt tears welling up in my eyes.
I can't do this, I can't do this. I don't want to be a man! I want to be a girl! I want to get manicures and fix my hair and not have people look at me funny and…
Just then, a car pulled up behind us. I wiped my eyes just as a man stepped out. "Hey, buddy, you got issues?"
"Y-yeah," I said. "Stupid tire…I just can't…I'm…" Suddenly, an idea struck. I batted my eyelashes. "Say…you wouldn't want to help me, would you? I surely would appreciate it…I just can't…" I tried to make myself sugary sweet as I bit my lip and flirted a little bit.
He looked at me odd. "Look, buddy, I don't swing that way. But if ya can't do it, I'll be glad to help ya, okay?"
My eyes grew wide. Shit! You're in Jasper's body, remember? "Th-thank you." I said softly.
He smiled as he walked around to the offending tire. "Well, I see you cracked the fiberglass…you know, you really shouldn't attempt it if you don't know what you're doing." He said, not unkindly.
"I…I'll remember that."
He changed the tire with no problems and I handed him a twenty dollar bill. He didn't want to take it, but I insisted. I walked back to the driver's side door like…well, like a man to the gallows. I sat down behind the wheel and saw Jasper's, or, well, my shoulders shaking. "Look, Jazz, I'm sorry I was so ill tempered back there…"
He shook his head and looked at me. It was then I realized…he was laughing at me! "Noooo, Alice! I will never be able to get that sight out of my head! You, in my body, trying to flirt with a man!"
I let out a little growl as I cranked the car again. "Shut up, Jazzy, just shut up."
He laughed all the way to the restaurant.
He laughed in the restaurant, all through dinner.
He laughed all the way to Rose and Emmett's, where he proceeded to tell the whole tale to them and they laughed at me.
He chortled all the way home, softly, since Reagan was pooped and asleep in the backseat.
I glared at the back of his head as I picked up Reagan and carried her to her room and he was still giggly when I made it into our bedroom. I flopped onto the bed. I felt the mattress dip and felt his body slide closer to mine. "So…I think you promised me something…?" He asked as he rubbed my cock through my pants.
"Ugh!" I said as I stood. "Not just no, Jasper, but hell no! You made me look like a fool in front of Emmett and Rosalie! I know I'm not as smart as you, I know I'm not as good with cars and stuff as you, but you didn't have to make me look like a total moron!"
"Alice…"
"I'm sleeping in the guest room." I said flatly as I grabbed my pillow and stormed out. The nerve of him…
I got about halfway down the hall when I heard the sniffles. I sighed. Shit. I'm making him miserable. There has to be a way out of this, right?