Disclaimer: Don't own it. NOT Stephenie Meyer. If so, we would have named the kid a hell of a better name than Renesmee.
AN: Here ya go...the chapter that many of you have been waiting for...Jasper goes to the doctor.
We knew you were a bunch of evil Be-yatches, but that's okay we are too.
Thanks so much to our Master-beta, fiberkitty.
Jasper POV
My nose awoke me to the delicious smells of country ham and eggs. I slid out of bed and padded into the kitchen. I was shocked to see the time on the kitchen stove showed eight thirty. Alice had obviously let me sleep in.
"Good morning, Jasper. Why don't you have a seat and I'll get you some breakfast."
Slowly, I slid into the chair and watched Alice flit around the kitchen. It seemed that even in my body, she had an endless amount of energy.
She set the plate in front of me, overflowing with all my favorites: ham, scrambled eggs with cheese, home fries and biscuits with gravy. She made herself a plate and slid into the chair next to me. I had the fork at my mouth when I thought about her outburst last night.
"So does this mean I am forgiven for the tire? You know I didn't mean to upset you, darlin'."
"I know, Jasper. Guess I can't get all the girly emotions out, even in someone else's body."
I knew better that to push the issue, so I started shoveling the food into my mouth. "So why aren't you at work?" I asked between bites. "And why didn't you get me up to take Reagan to school?"
The strangest expression crossed her face and her voice lowered to a whisper. "You have a doctor's appointment today."
Her eyes never lifted from her plate and I was positive I had heard her wrong.
"Excuse me. Did you just say I have a doctor's appointment today?"
She gave a silent nod, still staring at her plate.
"Well you need to call and change it. There is no way I can go to the doctor like this!"
"Please, Jazzy baby. I would change it but it is just too short of notice."
She lifted her head and gave me her signature puppy dog expression, although it was not nearly as appealing on my face. However, it was still my Alice and I couldn't say no.
"Fine, fine. I'll go."
She jumped from her seat covering my face in kisses. "Finish your breakfast so you can get ready. We have to be there at ten thirty."
"That is two hours from now." I pointed out.
"Exactly." She said leaving the room.
I had a feeling deep in my bones that it was going to be an extremely long day.
Two hours later I was primped, polished and sitting in the waiting room of Alice's obstetrician.
"Wow, babe. Look at all the pregnant women. It just goes to show there is a whole lot of fucking going on in this town."
Quickly she clamped her hand over my mouth. "Shhh!! Not so loud, everyone is staring at us." I looked around the room; everyone was reading their magazines, totally oblivious to us.
A nurse stepped from the back room and glanced at her clipboard. "Alice Whitlock," she called.
Alice helped pull me to a standing position as we followed the nurse through the door.
"How are you feeling today, Alice?" She asked.
"Umm… fine." I can do this, I can do this. I internally chanted. I mean it is just a doctor's appointment. Alice has been coming for almost eight months.
We stopped in front of a bathroom and the nurse opened the door.
"Okay, Alice. Just leave the sample inside the window like always and I'll meet you at the scale."
She turned and walked away as I gave Alice a perplexed look.
"There is a cup on the back of the commode. Pee in it and put it inside that little window." She whispered while pointing to a tiny metal door.
I walked in and shut the door behind me. Grabbing a cup, I pulled down my panties and sat on the commode. Slowly I turned the cup over in my hands. Now how exactly were you supposed to get the pee in this tiny cup?
It dawned on me that getting the pee in the cup may not be my first problem. For the first time since switching, I actually didn't have to go to the bathroom.
I sat and sat and mentally willed myself to pee. Nothing…fucking great!
A few moments later, I heard a gentle knock on the door, followed by my voice. "You okay in there?" Alice whispered.
"I can't go." I whined.
"Try running the water. That might help."
I leaned over and turned on the faucet. I tried to think about the water, lakes, babbling brooks…I felt the warm urine start to drip from me as I hastily stuck the tiny Dixie cup between my legs, trying to catch the pee in it. Not an easy feat when you can't see where you are aiming.
I felt some splash on my hands and then heard the distinctive sound of it catching in the cup opposed to hitting the water.
Gingerly I removed the cup from between my legs and set it in the tiny window, closing the little metal door behind it. That was just more than a little gross.
I scrubbed my hands in the sink and exited the bathroom just in time to see the nurse sticking a little piece of paper in it and then disposing of it.
"Hey, missy, it took some work to get that." She looked at me like I had lost my mind, but just led me to a chair and attached a blood pressure cuff to my arm. As soon as the cuff came off, she made some notations in a folder and led me over to a scale.
I stepped on and watched as she moved the weights at the top back and forth until it was in balance.
"Well, Miss Alice, seven pounds since last time." The nurse said writing the amount in the same folder.
"Seven! You gained seven pounds?! What the hell have you been eating?" Alice shrieked.
I shrunk from her glare until the nurse came and put her arm around my shoulder. "Mr. Whitlock, you may need to go sit in the waiting room until the exam is over if you cannot control yourself. "
I watched my shoulders slump as Alice reached out to grab my hands. "Of course, I'm sorry. It was just uh…unexpected."
We were led to a small room and the nurse reached under the sink and grabbed a gown. "Okay, Mrs. Whitlock. Put the gown on, open in the front and the doctor will be here in a moment."
I stripped down and put on the gown, climbing onto the exam table. We had been waiting almost fifteen minutes when the door opened. To my surprise, Edward walked in.
"Hey, guys. Doctor Green had an emergency delivery so I am going to be seeing you today."
The fuck you are, I thought as I pulled the gown tighter around my naked body. "I don't think so Edward. If our regular doctor is not here than maybe we should just come back." I went to climb off the table but thought better of it considering I was only wearing a gown.
"Don't be ridiculous. This is my job." He turned to my body, leaning against the wall. "Come on, Jasper. It's no big deal."
I made a slicing motion across my throat, and it was not lost on Alice. "No, Edward. I think someone else would be more appropriate." She shot me a reassuring smile. It was going to be hard enough to get through this appointment as it was.
"A woman, you got some women doctors in this office, right? If not as long as he is old it will be alright" I had noticed an extremely good looking doctor looking over some charts when I was having my vitals taken. I most certainly did not want some hot looking Latin guy between my wife's legs - even if she wasn't in her body.
"I'll see if Dr. Walker is available, but it may be a few minutes."
"That's okay, we'll wait."
He shut the door behind him and I let out a sigh of relief. I did not want him anywhere near Alice's private parts – medical degree or not.
Another thirty minutes later, the door finally opened to a round, older man.
"Sorry to keep you waiting. I'm Dr. Shay. Let's see what we have going on with this baby."
He helped me lay on my back and then pulled one side of the gown open. His pudgy hands massaged one breast and then moved to the other side and did the same. I held my breath, finally releasing it when he closed it back.
"Have you had any colostrum leaking yet?"
"Have I had any what?" What the fuck is colostrum? And why the fuck am I lying on a table having some guy feel me up?
"No, not yet." Alice answered.
Dr. Shay gave her a strange look but just turned to me as he pulled a small tape measure out of his pocket.
He stretched it from the top of my burgeoning belly down to the underside.
"Right where you should be. Now let's see if we can hear the little booger."
He pulled a tube from his jacket pocket and put a large squirt on my stomach.
"Oh shit that's cold!"
"Sorry Ms. Whitlock." He took another tool from his pocket and started rubbing the jelly across my belly with it. A few seconds later I head a distinctive thump - thump.
"Is that…?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
"The baby's heartbeat. Nice and strong too."
I looked over at Alice and I could tell she was teary eyed. I suddenly felt bad that I was always working when she came to the doctor. It was amazing to be able to hear our baby's heartbeat coming through loud and clear.
He shut the machine off and grabbed a tissue cleaning the nasty shit from my stomach.
Well this hadn't been too bad. I got ready to sit up when he grabbed a pair of gloves from the counter and pulled up a chair at the end of the table.
"If you will just scoot down so that your bottom is at the end of the table, and I will help you get your feet in the stirrups."
Stirrups? Did he just say stirrups!? What the fuck?
I looked over at Alice in desperation. Surely this was a joke. The look on her face told me otherwise. I scooted down the table a few centimeters and stopped, clenching my legs together in a death grip.
"A little bit farther, Mrs. Whitlock." The doctor's voice floated from the end of the table.
I took a deep breath and moved on down the table, never unlocking my knees.
I felt the doctor grab one foot and try to pry it from the other.
"No need to be shy. The sooner we get started the sooner it will be over with." I'm sure you say that to all the women, you little fucker.
Sensing my apprehension, Alice walked over to stand by my head, taking my small hand in her large one, rubbing soothing circles along the back.
"Relax. It will make it much easier." She whispered.
Finally, I unclenched my legs and allowed the doctor to place one in each stirrup. He rolled his chair even closer to the table, leaning back to turn on a lamp behind him.
Holy shit! Damn lamp was as bright as the lights at Yankee stadium. And here it is directed straight at my hoo-ha. Can this shit get any better?
I heard a squirting sound and then… Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!!!!!!
Two cold, wet fingers slipped into my…Alice's… fuck whoever's, vagina. And where in the fuck did that word come from? Because ass wipe, it sounds even worse to use the word pussy when the Pillsbury doughboy has his hand inside of it.
He poked and prodded. Even going as far as to stand up and push on my lower pelvic region while probing with his fingers.
Better not push too hard there, bud. I have gone almost an hour without peeing. You might get more than you bargained for.
FINALLY, he removed his fingers, grabbing a tissue, and laying it between my legs. I felt like telling him that little feel at least deserved dinner and a movie.
"Mrs. Whitlock, you are about three centimeters dilated and twenty-five percent effaced." He grabbed his chart and started jotting down figures.
Now I may be a guy but I have been around enough to know that dilated and efface are terms they use when they talk about delivering babies.
I practically jumped from the table, gown flying open, damn tissue still sticking to me from the slimy shit he used.
"I'm not ready. I can't have this baby yet. Do you understand me? So plug it up or give me some meds or some shit, because I cannot deliver this baby!"
Dr. Shay dropped his folder at my hysterics as Alice stepped in front of me pulling the gown back closed.
"It's okay, baby. It's normal." I was barley comprehending her words. The room was starting to spin, as I gripped the table.
Effortlessly she picked me up and laid me back on the exam table.
"Why don't you get cleaned up and changed, while I talk to the doctor outside?" She leaned down and whispered into my ear. "It's okay, Jazz. You are not going to have to deliver our baby."
I watched as she led the confused doctor from the room as tears started running down my cheeks. To my surprise I also had some whitish crap coming from my left boob.
So that is what colostrum is. Just fucking great!
APOV
I felt bad that Jasper had to come to the doctor for my check up, but really…I did want to check my body's blood pressure and stuff. I had a fairly strict diet to keep my blood sugar in check as well. I watched him as we drove over to the office. He looked nervous. I patted his, well, my, leg softly and smiled at him. "It'll be okay, Jasper. I promise."
He shot me a look. Oh well, I guess the pregnancy hormones make him a little cranky. I can handle that.
I giggled internally when Jasper had to pee in the cup. Oh, that would have been worth the price of admission. Damn those things, but then he got on the scale… "Seven! You gained seven pounds?! What the hell have you been eating?" I shrieked. Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod…Jasper! You're going to cause me to go into heart failure! What else have you done?
He looked like I'd slapped him in the face and the nurse put her arm around his shoulder. "Mr. Whitlock, you may need to go sit in the waiting room until the exam is over if you cannot control yourself. "
I felt my shoulders slump and I reached out to grab his hands. Great, you're going to get the man all worked up in hysterics. "Of course, I'm sorry. It was just uh…unexpected."
We were led to a room and Jasper had to put on an exam gown. And I knew how effed up this whole situation was when the sight of my cute little ass caused the cock in my pants to swell. I blew out a breath and propped Jasper's lanky body up against the wall in the corner. A few minutes later, Edward walked in.
"Hey, guys. Doctor Green had an emergency delivery so I am going to be seeing you today."
Oh, God. Are you shitting me? Apparently Jasper was thinking the same thing. "I don't think so Edward. If our regular doctor is not here than maybe we should just come back." Jasper made to climb down, but seemed to re-think it as the gown wouldn't cover much.
"Don't be ridiculous. This is my job." He turned to me as I leaned against the wall. "Come on, Jasper. It's no big deal."
Jasper shot me a look and a completely unveiled threat and I held in a smile. There was no way I'd let Edward look at my vajayjay in Jasper's presence anyway. That just…that wouldn't be good at all. "No, Edward. I think someone else would be more appropriate."
"A woman, you got some women doctors in this office, right? If not as long as he is old it will be alright" Jasper said suddenly and I wished like hell I could just tell him to shut up. I didn't talk like that. Moron.
"I'll see if Dr. Walker is available, but it may be a few minutes."
"That's okay, we'll wait."
He shut the door behind him and I think we both let out a sigh of relief. Another thirty minutes later, the door finally opened to a round, older man.
"Sorry to keep you waiting. I'm Dr. Shay. Let's see what we have going on with this baby."
He checked out my body and I had to admit, I really liked him. He was sweet and not at all touchy-feely like some other doctors could be. He was kindly, like a grandfather, almost.
"If you will just scoot down so that your bottom is at the end of the table, and I will help you get your feet in the stirrups."
Oh crap. I forgot about that. I tried my best to look apologetic to Jasper, who was looking at me like I'd just told him he would have to sky-dive without a parachute.
I could see the difficulty he was having with the concept and I whispered, "Relax. It will make it much easier."
After the exam, the doctor looked up at us. "Mrs. Whitlock, you are about three centimeters dilated and twenty-five percent effaced." He grabbed his chart and started jotting down figures.
My eyes grew rounder. What?! I'm not…he can't…we aren't…shit! I have to fix this! NOW!
Jasper practically jumped from the table, gown flying open…"I'm not ready. I can't have this baby yet. Do you understand me? So plug it up or give me some meds or some shit, because I cannot deliver this baby!"
Dr. Shay dropped his folder at Jasper's antics and I stepped in front of him, pulling the gown back closed. "It's okay, baby. It's normal." I said, but I didn't mean it. This is bad. This is really bad. Sure, with Reagan I walked around for a few weeks dilated to three. But at this point in time? Still so soon to the end of my pregnancy? No…it's too soon…
I looked at him. He looked faint. I picked him up and laid him back on the exam table. "Why don't you get cleaned up and changed, while I talk to the doctor outside?" I leaned down and whispered into his ear. "It's okay, Jazz. You are not going to have to deliver our baby." Even I'M not that much of a sadistic bitch to wish this on him. It was fun for a little while, but now…now we had to get switched back into our bodies. He couldn't handle this, it was unfair…
I led the doctor out of the room and I said, "Give it to me plain, doc. How bad is it?"
He sighed and pulled off his glasses to clean hem on a scrap of cloth from his pocket. "Well, Mr. Whitlock…her blood pressure is one fifty over ninety six. That's a bit high for someone that's as small and had as many complications as she did last time. The urine test showed sugar as well as protein in her urine. I see in her chart she has been told to watch her sweets and her salt intake…"
I nodded. And I had been…up until Jasper and I switched bodies. "What can we do?"
He blew out a breath. "She'll need to be put on bed rest if this gets any worse and she definitely needs to watch her diet. I want her coming back tomorrow, let's get a fasting blood sugar on her, and see how bad it is. We can make our determination then, alright?"
I nodded, barely breathing. "O-okay, doctor. Whatever you say is best."
"I must warn you, Mr. Whitlock…if her sugar doesn't stay low, and her blood pressure doesn't lower, there is a chance of premature birth. As it is…I'm looking toward bed rest for her anyway."
I could have cried. That was my body he was talking about. And I knew it. I was a stupid, selfish, egotistical bitch to do this to us now. But I would make it right.
Jasper was still kind of freaked out by the whole doctor thing, so I told him I'd look after him. I called in, canceled the rest of the meetings that were planned for the day, and called to ask Bella if she could pick up Reagan for us from school when she got Anthony. I took Jazz home, swinging by to get him a chef salad from Cracker Barrel. It wasn't the healthiest thing, but at least it didn't have a lot of salt or sugar in it.
We took the food home and ate in somewhat strained silence before he said in a soft, scared voice, "Ali? Am I going to have to…?"
I shook my head. "No, baby. I swear. You won't have to deliver our baby, okay?"
"You promise?"
He sounded so cute, even with my voice, I still knew it was him. As weird as it sounded, my voice sounded like my Jazzy. "I promise, Jasper." I smiled. "Come on, I know something that will help you."
"Ice cream?" He asked hopefully.
I sighed. I was going to have to have a little talk with him. But not now. "Nope, better. A bubble bath."
His eyebrow rose and I smiled. "Trust me on this. I'll even sponge bathe you…"
He grinned and I helped him up, leading him to our room. I set the temperature of the water, adding in some sensitive skin bubbles so his, er, my skin didn't dry out. "Would you join me?" He asked shyly.
You're playing right into my hands, baby, I thought. "Of course." I quickly stripped naked and then helped him into the tub before I got in behind him. Huh. It was weird being in this body in the tub. The water floating along the balls and penis between my legs felt…damn. I felt said penis start to stir, but I held that down, thinking of nasty thoughts like Rose's dad naked to abate the raging hard-on that wanted to come. I was in a bad way. We hadn't had sex since that night we switched and I…I think I needed a little something.
I began to lave attention all over Jasper, massaging soap into his skin, rubbing the poof over his breasts until his nipples puckered. And that gave me a great idea. My hands began traveling down, down, down, until he said, "What are you doing?!"
"Shhh," I whispered into his ear as I licked the shell. "Just…go with it, okay? I'm going to make you feel so good, baby."
I started slow, just tempting, teasing his folds. He whimpered and I smiled as my pointer finger danced over his clit. "Do you like that?"
"God, Alice…" He said, his voice strangled.
"Mmm…I know, I like to feel you." I said as I gently thrust a finger into him. His tiny hips bucked into my hand, trying to gain more friction. My erection was growing behind him and I knew he could feel it pressing against his lower back. "See what you do to me?" I purred in his deep voice, the southern accent all the more prevalent with my desire.
I pulled away and teased the clit a bit more and his moaning increased. I knew that sound, I'd done it enough. He was close to his very first orgasm as a woman. "Cum for me, sugar," I said, dropping his voice even lower. I knew he heard me in it, just like I heard him in mine, but hearing his voice coming out of my mouth was getting me turned on all the more and I slipped two fingers in, thrusting just a tad rougher and he cried out as his muscles clamped on my fingers. "Yes…" I moaned, thrusting slightly into his back. Damn. The friction felt so good on that cock…
He let out a keening little wail as he continued coming. I knew it had been a good one. I knew exactly where my g-spot was. I knew how to manipulate it just like it needed to be to achieve maximum pleasure.
"Fuck! Al!" He cried as he hit the top of his peak.
I let out a groan and felt the oddest sensation, almost like…shit. I started thrusting against the friction of his ass rubbing into me and I started panting as I felt my own release, I couldn't stop it even if I would have wanted to try. I tightened my grip on him, needing him closer so that sweet friction could rub my wet dick. "Fuck, Jazz…" I growled as I felt stream after stream shoot from me. "Fu…u…uck." I groaned through clenched teeth as I reached my end. My head fell back and hit the side wall with a 'thunk'.
We were both silent for a moment before I felt Jasper start to shake in my arms. Crap. Is he crying? I managed to get more into a sitting position and said, "Jazz?"
The shaking continued for a moment before… "Jazz, are you laughing at me?"
He was giggling so hard, my face was turning read. "I'm…I'm…I'm sorry!" He said. "B-b-but that was the fastest that body's cum since I was like, thirteen!"
I let out a little growl. "So, what? I'm a two minute man?"
His face took on a sweet smile as he turned to kiss me. "Of course not. You're just…you're so excitable and you were so turned on and you had a case of blue balls. It could happen to anyone."
Why did I have the feeling he was still making fun of me? I let out a little pout, but, I'd done what I'd set out to achieve. I'd gotten him off, relaxed him. Now I could…well, at least Jasper's body had a fast recovery time. I stood and said, "Come on, let's get out of the jizz water, okay?"
He let out a little snort. "Okay."
I got out and slung a towel around my hips before I helped him stand and picked him up over onto the soft rug. I dropped to my knees, taking my time to dry his body off with loving hands before I picked him up and carried him naked to the bed. I had turned down the covers, so it was easy for me to slip him into the bed. I slid in next to him and kissed his neck delicately. He let out a little whimper. "Jazzy, sweetie, I want to talk to you, okay?"
He sighed. "It's not bad," I added quickly. "I just…I didn't really come very clean with you. I knew you had work and stuff and you were under so much stress and…"
"You've been lying to me." He said flatly. "About what?"
"Uh, um…my health."
"I've made it worse, haven't I?"
I closed my eyes. "Jazzy, baby, it's not…"
"Tell me the truth, Alice."
"Yes. I was trying so hard. It isn't the weight you've put on, though, that's excessive for someone of my size, but, the doctor was worried about my sugar. You know how I had to watch what I ate with Reagan…"
"But you didn't tell me I needed to be careful!" He said hotly, and I knew the tears were there as well.
I hugged him tighter, trying not to get angry. "No, I didn't. But you should have known, Jazz. You were so there for Reagan. Every doctor visit, every time she kicked, you were there. And with this baby…"
"I've been working." He said adamantly. "I can't be there every fucking minute when Emmett, Rosalie and I are trying to get this business up off the ground!"
"I know that, Jasper. But don't you understand how I felt? It's like…like you didn't want it, didn't want me anymore. All you ever did was work…"
"All you ever do is shop, Alice. How do you expect me to pay for everything if I don't work all the fucking time?"
I felt my nostrils flair in anger. Did he really not get it? How I clip coupons and wait for things to go on sale? I do! I don't just go out and buy a five hundred dollar pair of shoes! Granted, when I get them on sale, they're two fifty, but still…I am shopping smart. I'm not out just blowing every bit of money he makes! I may not be able to keep a budget, but I do try…and it seems like he doesn't appreciate it! He never does! And that's what I told him. "You don't get it, Jasper! I try! I don't just buy every fucking thing I see, damn it!" I let out a huff and turned away from him.
I felt his small hand on my shoulder. "Ali, don't…"
I turned back over. "I'm not just a shopaholic, Jasper. Granted, I do enjoy shopping, but…"
He blew out a breath. "Look, we both have things we need to learn about each other, even after all this time."
I smiled and kissed him. "Exactly. But…I think that can wait, don't you?" I scooted closer, my now hardening member brushing his distended stomach.
"Don't even think about it." He said in a monotone voice.
"Don't what?" I asked sweetly.
"Don't you even think you're going to come near me with that thing."
"What?" I asked defensively.
"For one, you don't know how to work my dick. For two, I'm tired, and for three? I feel like a beached whale! Even more so now that I know that I haven't been watching what I eat, have gained seven pounds and uh…can't wear that one dress you like so much…"
"What?!" I asked. Okay, it's no big deal. It was a little snug anyway. It was an extra-small maternity dress. I guess he was now wearing a small. He was still cute, still perfect. "It doesn't matter." I said quickly. "All that matters is I love you and I want to show you…"
"No."
I pulled on my hair. "Damn it, Jasper! "I'm scared, okay? I'm fucking terrified here! I don't want to go back on my promise!"
He went pale. "A-a-are you telling me what I think you are?"
I shut my eyes and winced. "Premature labor is a complication of preeclampsia. And my body is borderline as it is."
His mouth fell open. "You fucking…how could you, Ali? How could you do this?!"
"I wasn't thinking!" I defended. "I'm so sorry, Jazzy." I felt a tear run down my cheek. "I messed up, I made a mistake!"
"Alice…" He said. His voice was afraid. "H-how are we going to fix this?"
"The only way we can." I said, determinedly. "We have to have sex."
AN2: We have started our story How to Save a Life this week. Please go and check it out. It is going to be dark and controversial and extremely sexy.
We are also working on a one shot for a new contest hosted by the Fournikation Foundation. All I can say about The Cullen men as pirates is Shiver me timbers!!