Disclaimer: Don't own it. 'Nuff said. Actually, fiberkitty said we needed to state that we are NOT SM because we kick ass, so, no, we are NOT Stephenie Meyer. If we were, we would have named the kid a hell of a better name than Renesmee

AN: Go me! I managed to post it halfway early! Whoot! More AN at the bottom...

Alice POV

I grumbled as I made my way back into the house. Jasper was apparently in his 'nesting' mode, and since he couldn't do anything, I was stuck doing the cleaning. It was three in the afternoon. So far, I'd cleaned the house from top to bottom, cleaned out the garage, (don't think I wouldn't be having words with him about THIS once we switched back), I'd cleaned the kitchen and had returned with Jasper's lunch, whole wheat toast, grilled turkey and cheese with mayo, carrots and broccoli on it, a side of peaches, and some cottage cheese. As I sat down to enjoy my own sandwich next to him, he asked me if I'd moved out the refrigerator and cleaned under and behind it. I had glared at him, he'd teared up, I'd felt like an ass, got up, and moved the fucking refrigerator.

Being a man was tough. This sucked ass. Completely. I was home for the day, getting things ready for tonight. Everyone was coming over for pizza and we were finishing up the nursery. I couldn't imagine what the next few weeks might bring. At least I knew that we'd have to change back at some point in time. I couldn't…I couldn't be a man forever, could I? No, that wouldn't happen. I'd be me, Jazzy would be himself, all of this would get worked out. The grass isn't greener on the other side. I wanted all the horrors of being a girl. I wanted, no, I needed Jazzy back in his body.

"Okay, kids, go play for a little while, just don't disturb Alice, okay?" I said as I dumped off all the backpacks on the entryway floor.

"Kay, Uncle Jazzy!" They said as they ran off. I agreed to pick up Hope, Faith and Anthony as well as Reagan from school. Everyone was coming over here anyway. This worked. And…I could rule them with the iron fist of Aunt Alice, even if I was still stuck in Jasper's body.

The rest of the day passed easily enough. Emmett and Rosalie arrived looking a bit flushed and it didn't take a rocket scientist to see that they'd enjoyed their few minutes of privacy before coming over. "Hey, somebody order some pizzas?" Emmett asked with a grin.

A chorus of "Daddy!" and "Uncle Em!" permeated the air and he was accosted by four small bodies. I grinned as he said, "Ooof! Guys! Cool it…Come on. I got lots of food for ya. Get your tushies to the bathroom, wash up and it'll be on plates for ya."

I smiled. Since his time in Rose's body, Emmett had been a lot more 'mothering' to the kids while still being the adorable goofball we know and love. I got him in the kitchen working on the food and sent Rosalie up to see if Jazzy needed anything.

I was pouring the milk into disposable sippy cups when I heard, "No, Edward. I don't want to talk about it anymore!"

"But…Bella…love, surely you must see…"

"I do," She said, and I shivered at the ice in her voice. "I see it all too clearly. But until you get your head out of your ass about it, I'm not speaking to you."

My eyebrow rose at Em, who shrugged. Edward walked in a few minutes later. He was running his hand through his hair. "Hey," He said sadly.

I tossed him a beer from the fridge. I still didn't really know how to do this whole guy thing, but I was trying. "So…she's pissed at ya. How far up your ass is your head?"

He looked at me and a ghost of a smile crossed his face. "Fuck you, Jasper."

"Love ya too, man. So, whatever did you do to piss her off?" I'm nosy. It's an Alice thing. I always wanted to keep everyone happy and the only way to do that was to find out what was going on.

He shook his head. "Some things should stay between a man and his wife, Jazz."

I nodded. I'd get it out of Bella once she and I had a few minutes alone with her anyway.

He sighed. "It's just…"

Wow. Edward was sharing? Odd. My eyes caught Emmett's and I begged him with a look not to screw this up. It seemed as though Edward needed to get something off of his chest.

"Just what, Ed?" Emmett asked, sounding oddly caring.

Edward sighed again. "It's just…okay, this stays here, right?"

Emmett and I both nodded. Edward blew out a breath. "Bella and I…we see things differently."

I snorted. "No shit, Sherlock. Ya think?"

He glared at me. "Can we be serious for a minute?"

Clearly I was channeling Emmett instead of Jasper. "Okay." I agreed. I really wanted to know what bug crawled up his ass. "What's up?"

"Bella…has…she's…I don't know. She wants to…"

Emmett and I hung onto his every word.

He blew out a breath. "You know what? I'm sorry. I can't talk about this with you guys."

Emmett and I looked at one another again. This time Emmett spoke up. "You know you can tell us anything dude, not to sound like the pussy parade here, but we can listen without acting like total douches ya know."

Edward snorted. "I don't think you can, Em, but thanks all the same."

I picked up the cups and walked past him. "You know that we're here for you, right?" He looked…almost sad in that moment. I yearned to reach my hand out, to brush the hair away from his face, like I'd done so many times. Not many people realized how deep a connection Edward and I have. Sure, I irritated him more often than not, but he and I just got each other. It was weird. But I knew that any chance of comforting him in this body wouldn't be a possibility, so I just continued on my way to the small table we'd set up for the kids to eat on.

I walked up the stairs next and brought Jasper down to the living room. He didn't like me fussing over him, but being that he was in my body, he kind of had to just go along with how I would act.

We all sat around the living room pigging out on pizza. It was a lot of fun, actually we were having a blast when all of a sudden, the kids ran in. "It's snowing! It's snowing!"

Snowing? What the…? It's April now, if only just. How can it be snowing? "Was it supposed to snow?" I asked.

Everyone, save Jasper, rolled their eyes at me. "Where have you been? The chance of a freak winter storm has been all over the news."

I sighed. "Well, excuse me for being out of the friggin' loop." I said huffily. "But…snow?"

"Yeah," Emmett said. "They talked like it would be an inch or two, no biggie."

I shrugged. Great…another thing I'd have to do, shovel the walk tomorrow. Jasper suddenly took off the blanket I'd thrown over him. "It's like an oven in here. Could you turn down the heat? I'm burning up."

I looked at him and he did look a little red-faced. "Sure, babe." I said, getting up from where I sat at his feet. I went and readjusted the thermostat, turning it down another notch. He'd been hot all day. I was freezing cold. But then, I always was. He was the one that was hot natured. I liked to be snuggled under blankets. He couldn't sleep with more than just a sheet on him.

We sat and talked a little bit more, just enjoying the six of us, which it seemed like we hadn't been able to do in forever. Jasper was relaxed, and for once, not worried about the pregnancy or how close he would come to having the baby. We didn't worry about how or when we'd switch, we just…had fun. It started getting a bit late, and I told everyone to just put the kids down here, that they could all sleep here and give each couple a little time to themselves when they got ready to leave. I noticed Emmett and Rosalie very excited by the prospect. Bella and Edward, however, were still dancing on eggshells around each other.

We got the kids ready and settled down. Emmett, clearly remembering the 'doctor' incident wasn't thrilled that Anthony would be sleeping on the floor in the room with the girls as they all piled on the bed, but I reminded him of how young they were. They'd be fine. He had looked unsure, but I'd just rolled my eyes at him and smiled.

Once they were situated, we moved Jasper back upstairs and sat him in the glider in the nursery while we all started assembling the pieces I'd taken down from storage. Edward and Emmett put the crib together while I helped Bella and Rosalie with hanging the clothes away in the closet and filling the large cabinet with the boxes of diapers and the like from the pile that sat on the floor. I had a nice haul.

We then started washing some of Reagan's things that I'd brought in from storage as well. Onesies, woo-woos… (What she called cloth diapers, even to this day, she slept with her woo-woo). The room looked homey and welcoming to a baby as I hung the last curtain in place. I looked out the window and caught sight of the yard from the lamplight by the end of the driveway. "Wow…that looks like more than an inch or two." I commented. Honestly, in the hours since everyone had arrived, I had forgotten about the weather outside. It was now closing in on midnight. We needed to get everyone out and home, and Jasper needed to go to bed.

Edward came over and his eyes grew wide. "That looks closer to a foot out there. And it's still snowing."

My mouth fell open. "But…you don't mean…"

He shrugged. "It's a lot of snow."

"Well, everyone can just stay here." Jasper said.

I blinked and looked at him. "Y-yes, of course. We probably need to get everyone to bed anyway."

Jasper nodded and stifled a yawn. Then, he grimaced. "Are you okay?" I asked, dashing over to him.

He nodded. "Yeah, kid's just using my bladder as a punching bag and my ribs a kickboxing dummy."

I smiled and kissed him. "I love you, babe."

He shot me a small grin. "Love ya too." I picked him up and said, "Rosalie, Bella, you guys can sleep with this one on the king sized bed. I'm sure the rest of us can make do."

Emmett groaned. Couches were normally too short for him. "You can have the recliner, Em. Just because I'm that nice."

He snorted. "Thanks, Jazz. You're too kind."

"I know." I replied. I turned to Edward, "Edward, you can have the couch."

"What about you?" He asked.

I smiled at the person in my arms. "I'm sleeping on the floor in case you need me during the night, okay?"

"A-Jasper, that's unnecessary…"

I shook my head. "Nope, not gonna happen."

"So, you expect us to let you sleep in the same room with our two wives?" Edward defended immediately.

Emmett snorted. He knew I wouldn't want to do that with them, even if Jasper wouldn't be right there. I wasn't a lesbian.

"But, you're a man…you'll have three women in the room with you…" Edward continued.

"Yeah, Edward. Because I want to fuck all three of them at the same time!" I snapped at him. "Come on! You think I'd do that to ALICE? What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

He looked taken aback and blinked. "Sorry, Jasper…I just…"

Bella smiled at me. "Oh, I think Jasper's a gentleman. Most of the time."

To my surprise, Jasper blushed. I looked at him confused, but he just shut his eyes and blew out a breath. He was trying to hold in giggles, I think. But then he said, "Oh, Jasper only lets you think he's a gentleman."

"I know." Bella said, blushing a little bit too. What the hell am I missing? He must have told her things he did before he moved here. The two of them were really close, like brother and sister. I know that they spent a lot of time together in college before he and I met, they told me that.

I grinned. "Yeah, well, I think these ladies need to get to bed. Will it bother you lovely girls if I sleep on the floor?"

Rosalie, who knew how to flirt, even though she knew I was Alice, and to get under Edward's skin, said, "Why, Jasper, this bed is so big…I don't see why you couldn't just sleep in it with us."

Edward's eyes grew all the rounder. I held in the snort, just barely, but I said, "No, I think I'll just sleep right on the floor. I'll just dash downstairs and grab the sleeping bag from the garage, okay?"

I deposited Jasper down onto the bed and hurried down to get the sleeping bag. I hurried back upstairs and smiled at him as I laid it down to his side of the bed. Edward and Emmett had gone on back downstairs. "You guys are so mean to Edward, keeping him out of the loop."

"The way he's acting, he's lucky I'm not making him sleep in the fucking car," Bella stated.

Rosalie and I looked at one another and she said, "Oh, honey, is it that bad?"

Bella sniffed and said, "You know, I really don't want to talk about it, okay? I'm tired."

"Oh-okay." Rosalie said.

I couldn't quite hold in a yawn as I said, "See you ladies in the morning."

Rosalie giggled. "Goodnight, bitches. You too, Jasper."

"Goodnight, Rosalie." He said.

I drifted off, my body tired from the amount of stuff I'd done today. I was so asleep, it took me a few minutes for me to hear the small, "Alice," As Jasper woke me.

I turned over to look up at him. "Yeah?"

"I need to pee." He said sadly. I smiled. He couldn't quite manage the getting up out of bed on his own now that his stomach had grown.

I rolled out of the sleeping bag, my back hurting like a bitch and got to my feet slowly. "Jasper, baby, I love you, but you're body's getting too old to be lying on the hard floor."

"Well, hopefully this won't be reoccurring issue." He said with a grin. "And I'm young enough to fuck your brains out on that floor, sugar."

I grinned, thinking of the rug burns we'd both gotten. I shivered and that cock between my legs lifted hopefully. He shook his head. "Horn dog."

"It's your body." I hissed. I helped him to the bathroom and stood just outside the door while he tinkled. When he finished, I helped him back to the bed and he just sat there.

"Could you get me a drink of water?" He asked me quietly.

I nodded with a small smile and went downstairs to grab him a glass. I put some ice and some water from the refrigerator into a mason jar, being careful not to waken the snoring men in the next room. I took the glass back up to my husband and said, "Here you go. I think I'm going to grab me some ibuprofen, okay? Maybe I can make it through the rest of the night on the floor."

"You could dump the girls off onto the floor and sleep in Regan's bed." He told me.

I shook my head. "I can do this, Jazzy. It's fine." I looked over at the two women sleeping next to him. "You haven't been copping a feel over there, have you?"

He snorted. "I feel like a beached whale, Alice. Trust me. My mind is not on ways of how to feel up Bella."

I looked at her. Even in sleep her face was pinched. "She might appreciate it. I have a feeling Edward's not…satisfying her in that area."

Jasper's hands clamped over his ears. "I do not need to hear that shit about one of my guy friends, Alice."

I giggled. "Fine. I'll be right back, okay?"

He nodded and took another sip of his water. I walked into the bathroom and opened the cabinet door. Even though I could barely reach it with my short legs, we kept the meds in the top cabinet in a basket. That way Reagan couldn't reach it. I pulled down the basket, leaving the door open. I found what I was looking for and quickly grabbed up a handful of water from the tap. I had just downed my pills when I heard Jasper say, "Oh, shit. Alice! I didn't…I couldn't…I peed!"

My brows furrowed. Didn't he just go to the bathroom?

Just then I heard Bella's panicked voice. "Jasper! You didn't just pee! Your fucking water broke!"

"What?!" I screamed and ran out of the bathroom. However…in my haste…I failed to remember two things. One, the fact that I had left the cabinet door open, and the other, that I wasn't four foot eleven. I hit the cabinet and it snapped my head back. The last thing I remembered was the back of my head hitting the tile floor with a resounding crack.

AN2: So...do you want to know what happens to Jazzy? Well, see, we have a prediciment. We REALLY wanna get to 300 reviews and also, twilightmom, who writes JPOV has been having a really hard week. So, we're holding his POV ransom until we get 300 reviews. If you lovely readers give us that, we'll try to have it posted by Monday evening, but before Friday, for sure! So, please, give us the love, eh?

Don't forget the Pirate Talking Contest! Go to our story, "The Matchmaker and the Mix-Ups" to find out more. Read them, write them, show those girls some love over on the c2!