A/N: Glad everyone liked Hermione's revenge. Personally I'd love to have revenge with Snape like that. lol. We are still in the Room of Requirement here in this chapter too.

Thank you everyone who explained what lemons are. Though now I'm curious what the difference between a lemon and a lime is? Is a lime less smutty sex?

Thanks everyone for the lovely reviews. I loved them all. Take Care and Please keep Reviewing.

Chapter 18

She didn't know how long they laid there, she didn't know if it was minutes or hours or even days and didn't care. She didn't know how he had done any of that, but it had been incredible. She couldn't even feel her legs or feet at that moment.

He finally rolled onto his back, bringing her with him. He had been worried he was crushing her tiny frame. His hands stroked down her back, the only thing he had energy to do at this point. He laid there thinking that she was going to be the death of him, but what a way to go.

She sat up just enough to look down at him. "How, in the name of Merlin, did you get free? How did I end up tied up? Where did this cushion come from?" Her voice soft and scratchy from her screams.

He smirked just a bit. "Wandless magic."

Her eyes widened. She knew of wandless magic, but she didn't know he could do it. "So you could get free the whole time?"

His smirk grew. "Pretty much. I had no fear of you hurting me really, at least not beyond what I could take, so I was just curious what you had in mind."

She started laughing. "So you really weren't punished at all then?"

"Oh no, not being able to touch you was torture."

She sat up a bit more. "If it was so horrible, how come you didn't let yourself free sooner?"

He shrugged. "You didn't want me free." It seemed simple enough to him.

She smiled softly. Leaning down to kiss him gently. "Thank you."

He smiled at her. "You know, you could have just told me to stay out of your thoughts."

She sat up completely, straddling him again to look down at him. "Were you still in my thoughts after we...slept together that first night?"

He looked up at her, his hands resting on her hips. "Sometimes. I liked seeing your thoughts. It made us seem closer somehow."

She frowned at him. "I didn't think of that. Do you want us to be closer?" When he didn't answer immediately, she sighed. Remembering Minerva's words, she took a deep breath. Gryffindor backbone.

"Severus I have to tell you something. I'm not sure if you will be upset by it or not but..."

He interrupted her. "Does this have to do with the transfiguration professor?"

She stopped and frowned. "Justin?" She him, his eyes narrow. "No. Why would you even think it did?"

He looked at her, his eyes filling with anger. "Your wall slipped a few times. I saw you thinking of him, I saw your guilt, then you wondered if I would be upset. Now you have something to tell me. I just put it all together. Do you want out of this relationship with me?"

She gasped. "No. See this is partly why I was upset at you reading my thoughts. Do you have any idea how chaotic my thoughts can be sometimes?"

He frowned at her. "I have seen them that way at times, but not too bad."

She climbed off of him, and sat down next to him. "Yes, you saw all of that today, but it doesn't mean what you think it does. Wait, what exactly do you even think anyway?"

He sat up, not looking at her. "I thought that maybe now that he was interested and not your professor that you wanted to move on to him."

She reached over and smacked him on the back of the head like she did with Ron or Harry. He narrowed his eyes at her again. "Move on to him? How could you even think that? You say my friends are idiotic, but sometimes so are you. I don't want him you dolt. I wouldn't be sitting here naked with you if I did."

Eyes still narrowed, he glared at her. "Then what were you feeling guilty about, what was it you were worried I might be upset over?"

She threw up her hands. "He asked me out and I told him no. I felt guilty for making him feel bad and for not getting my reasons across to him better and somehow giving him hope for later, though I didn't mean to. I should have just told him that I was with you, but I was worried you would be upset if I did tell him that. I didn't know if you would be upset or not about me telling people about us." She was glaring at him now.

He sat there wondering if that was all true. She saw his doubt and sighed. "Take a look if you need to see."

He frowned at her. "You want me to probe your memories?" Hadn't she just gotten upset over him scanning her thoughts? Wasn't this what this whole night was about?

She nodded. "Yes. If you need to I don't mind."

His intense black eyes stared into her amber ones for several moments before he spoke. "I can't always control what I look at. If there is something you don't want me to see then try to put up a wall around it. I'll try to keep from looking past it."

She knew there were too many things to try to block, she didn't know if she could even block it if he looked too deep. Maybe this was a bad idea, but she had already said he could so she wouldn't back out now. Taking a deep breath she tried to imagine a wall around certain things. Then nodded for him to go ahead.

With a whisper he was inside her mind. He saw so many memories in her. Some happy, some tragic. She saw all that he saw in her mind. Her time during her early years at school, her hunt with Harry during what should have been their final year, he saw her torture at the hands of Bellatrix, he saw Ron leaving them alone to hunt on their own, her memories at seeing so many dead bodies after the war, her tears at losing so many people, her night with Ron and the horrible disaster it was afterwards. He saw her hunt for her parents, the way they treated her afterwards, her loneliness that haunted her constantly, how she stayed away from everyone out of fear of losing them too, not able to handle loosing another person. Fear of them tossing her over like her parents did if they saw how she had changed, that she wasn't the same person they knew and loved.

All these memories and feelings hitting him quickly, so quick he almost missed them, he tried to steer to what he was looking for, but was having trouble. With her seeing them too it just brought more to the surface, and buried what he was looking for.

He saw how she didn't think her accomplishments were that great, that she didn't feel her grades mattered that much anymore. Why be a know-it-all if it doesn't help save people? So many deaths, if she had just worked harder, been a bit smarter, she could have saved more people. Her friends might have lived. Scars, so many mental scars. She couldn't get passed it all due to her loss and pain and fear. She couldn't heal so she just buried it. Hid from it all as best she could.

She had tears running down her cheeks, but couldn't stop them, he didn't see them while digging in her mind. He tried to pull back, but just got sucked deeper inside by her emotions and his at seeing her pain.

He saw her anger while pacing in Minerva's office. Her anger at him for using his abilities, finding out about the spell, thinking he was using her. That made him pause. He was still seeing it all, but he was shocked at her thinking that of him.

He saw her in her rooms, trying to think over everything. To decided what to do, how to feel. Then, a wall popped up. Thin but there, so he forced his way around the memory. Next thing he knew he saw her in the owlery afterward with Minerva, but suddenly saw a fragile crumbling wall with so many holes in it that it would be easy to knock down, but at least he was able to move past it like with the other one.

He saw her the next morning. Drinking her coffee, getting burned by it as she was startled. Saw the transfiguration professor ask her out, saw her feelings on it too. She didn't want to go out with him. She was trying to figure out how to let him down gently. Saw the professor leave. Saw her drinking again as she was startled getting burned again and looking up at Severus.

He saw her guilt later at seeing McLeoud's reaction, wondering if she should have handled it better, wondering if Severus would mind if she had told the man about her seeing him.

Suddenly he saw the owlery again, saw the wall crumbling even more. He knew her own thoughts brought him back to it. He tried to pull out, knew she was losing control of her concentration of blocking him. He head the voices inside. He heard her voice saying she thought she made a big mistake.

He tried to block it himself, knowing it was something private she didn't want him to see. But he heard Minerva ask how it could be a mistake. He tried again to pull out, to not see or hear. But he as he finally pulled away he heard her statement, "I told him that I didn't have time for anything else and if he couldn't accept it, I would walk away."

He sat back on his elbows, panting at the exertion to pull away. He saw her tears knew they were from her memories of the war, and felt like crying himself. She had told Minerva it had been a mistake? If he couldn't accept her on her terms she would walk away? Those two sentences he heard ripped his heart to pieces. She didn't want him, not really. Not like he wanted her. He loved her and wanted to stay with her always.

He called for his wand, as she stayed sitting there crying into her hands at her memories. With a flick of his wand they were both dressed. He reached out and held her, understanding so much about her now.

Understanding her need to keep her distance from people. He understood her walls she had up at times, while hurting. It wasn't to keep him out but to keep the memories away.

He saw the bed in the corner and picked her, carrying her to it. Laying her down with him as he held her. Fighting to keep his own hurt and anger at bay so he could help her. This being just something else she brought out in him, but he didn't even notice it anymore.

She cried over the past while pressed against his chest. She was wrapped in her grief towards the end of his digging all she could see was her pathetic walls crumbling. She didn't hear the voices, she was struggling to keep him out of those memories. She didn't want him to find out that she loved him that way. She wanted to tell him. She didn't even know if she succeeded in keeping him out.

It took a while, but she finally got her memories back under the barriers and locks she had instilled before. Her tears finally stopped. She knew her face was a mess but didn't really care.

She pulled back and looked at him, and saw the pain in his eyes. She looked away, thinking he was feeling pity or sorrow at all that he saw.

"I think you saw more than I meant for you to. I couldn't keep everything locked away." She sniffed and met his eyes again.

He stroked her cheek softly with the back of his hand. "So much pain for such a short life. I wish you could have been spared from it all."

She smiled sadly. "We all went thru so much during that time. My pain isn't any more than what others dealt with."

He cupped her cheek, kissing her softly. Making him ache more knowing she didn't care about him like he did her. "You added everyone else's pain to your own. You took responsibility for things you had no control over. You did all you could, you did more than anyone could have expected from you. You didn't fail anyone, least of all yourself."

She tried to pull away, but he wouldn't let her. "It wasn't your fault so many people died Mione. People die in war. You did more than any other girl your age could have done. More than anyone your age should have done."

She knew he was right, but it didn't stop the ache, it didn't stop herself from doubting what she did versus what she should have done. "I miss them all so much." Tears forming in her eyes again.

He kissed her again. "I know." He held her as she clung to him, taking strength from him.

After a few minutes she pulled away, just a enough to look at him. "Severus, about those walls. Did you see past them?"

He closed his eyes. He didn't want to lie to her but he wasn't ready to talk about it either. "I...I tried to pull away, I didn't see beyond them." He didn't see, he heard.

She took a deep breath. Gryffindor back bone. "About what was behind them...the headmistress and I were talking and..."

"Not now." He said, cutting her off. He couldn't deal with it now. "Let's talk about it another day. I'm exhausted, you must be too."

She nodded, swallowing the words she was going to say. "Can we stay here tonight? I want to sleep here with you."

He smiled sadly at her. "Yes, we can." He pulled out his wand and with a flick they were undressed again. He helped her under the soft covers, pulling her to him to hold her.

Both fell asleep quickly. Both exhausted and didn't dream.

The next morning, Hermione woke to find him gone. Her wand was sitting on his pillow. She sat up and looked around. Why had he left her?

Getting up, she quickly found that there wasn't a bathroom available. She never asked the room for one before going inside. Pulling on her robes to cover her teddy that she slipped on first, she held her shoes in her hands as ran from the room barefoot, glad for the early hour.

She got into her rooms and took a quick shower. Getting dressed, she realized it was Saturday so she left off her robes and went down to the dungeon. Only she found she couldn't enter. The wards were set and she couldn't take them down or enter.

She frowned as she knocked on the door. Waiting and knocking again. But he never answered. Not understanding but figuring he just threw up the wards and forgot to add her to it, she went back to her rooms.

He wasn't at any of the meals that weekend. The wards never came down or changed to allow her access. She realized he was keeping her out and away on purpose.

Had he seen past her walls? Had he seen that she loved him and was now pushing her away? The longer she sat thinking about it all, more depressed she got over it. He didn't want her like she wanted him. She loved him and wanted to stay with him forever.

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A/N: Okay guys only a few chapters left in this story. Just wanted to give you a heads up about it since this story isn't 30+ chapters like my last one was. Hope you liked 18. Chapter 19 coming soon