Disclaimer: Don't own it. 'Nuff said. Actually, fiberkitty said we needed to state that we are NOT SM because we kick ass, so, no, we are NOT Stephenie Meyer. If we were, we would have named the kid a hell of a better name than Renesmee

AN: So…after the epic fail of FF Document manager, I finally manage to post this. First off...you guys ROCK! How quickly we got to 300! We're honored! So, here you go! Hot off the presses! Only the epilogue after this (we think). Wonder what will happen?

Jasper POV

I felt the warm liquid flowing from between my legs. No way did I just wet myself, especially not in a bed full of hot women. Still what other explanation could there be besides the fact that the next Miya Hamm had decided my bladder was a soccer ball and kicked the piss right out of me.

I sat up in the bed, trying to be discreet as possible, though not an easy feat in my own self made swimming pool.

"Oh, shit. Alice! I didn't…I couldn't…I peed!" I called towards the bathroom. At least if I had to be embarrassed it would be in front of the girls and not Emmett.

There is no way he would ever let me live it down.

The bed shifted as Bella looked over at me. "Jasper! You didn't just pee! Your fucking water broke!"

Okay, the Hawaiian, barbeque chicken pizza with extra jalapeños has fried my brain because I think Bella just said something about water and breaking and… oh shit!

"Excuse me; did you just say my water broke?" I asked a more than nervous Bella.

Before she could answer we heard a loud thump come from the bathroom, followed by a sickening crack. Bella jumped from where she was sitting, all but leaping over me to reach the bathroom as I struggled to heave myself from my spot.

"Alice, oh God…Alice. EDWARD!!!!" Bella screamed just as I crossed the threshold. There on the floor was my body.

A few seconds later, Edward and Emmett both made it through to the bathroom. Edward knelt down, checking vitals and examining the knots on my body's still form.

"What happened?"

"I don't know. We just heard a bang and then a crash and this is how we found him." Bella answered.

He looked up at the open medicine cabinet. "Well it looks like he might have hit his head on the cabinet door and then again when he hit the floor. There is no blood, but we ought to get him to the hospital for a CT scan. It feels like he has quite the knot. Emmett, help me get him to the bed and then we can go warm up your Jeep and drive him to the hospital.

Carefully they lifted my body and placed it on the bed. I noticed Emmett eyeing my spot on the bed as he turned to me with a shit eating grin.

"Have an accident there, Ali-kins?"

Just as I was about to knock that look off his face, a sharp pain flooded across my lower abdomen and back as I doubled over in pain.

"Owwwwwwww!!!!!!!"

Edward, Bella and Rose were at my side in a flash as Emmett looked on dumbfounded. As soon as the pain subsided, I lifted my head, giving him a look that would freeze ice on a summer day.

"No, dipshit! My water broke. I think…I think I am going to have this baby."

He stood there for a second and then passed out.

"What in the fuck is wrong with the men in this house?" I screamed. "Someone get me to a fucking hospital!"

That sent everyone into over drive. Bella started rummaging around in the drawers, pulling out different items, Rose knelt over Emmett, gently trying to shake him awake, as Edward left to go find Em's keys and get the truck started.

"Jazz, what do you think…I mean…I'm not sure what Alice would want to take…?" Bella had tears in her eyes and I could tell Rose was on the verge as well.

"There is a suitcase already packed in the closet. Grab that. Anything else we can get later if we need…" My voice trailed off as another contraction hit.

Motherfuckinasswipecocksuker...Holy shit I am dying!!!

I had just come off another contraction when Edward appeared at the doorway.

"You guys are not going to believe this but there is like two feet of snow out there. I flipped on the TV and they said the roads are impassible. So… I put a call into the hospital for an ambulance but they are not sure when or if they will be able to get here."

"Well we better find a way to get there because…because…" I wanted to cry but instead my survival instinct kicked into gear.

"Okay, first we need to make sure Jasper is alright. I think it may be best to move him to the guest room. Next, check on the kids. I would like to keep them out of this as much as possible and finally, Edward dig into that medical bag of yours and give me something to stop this baby from coming."

Edward crossed the room and began to examine my body as Bella and headed down towards Reagan's door.

"Jazz, Jazz man can you hear me?"

I watched with relief as Alice's…my…fuck, whatever eyes fluttered open and a groan slipped from my lips.

"Jasper, you hit your head. We are going to move you somewhere quiet to rest."

"Where is Jasper? Water…breaking…."His voice slowly trailed off as his eyes closed again.

I swiveled to see Emmett finally regaining his senses as he lumbered to the bed. He and Edward gently hoisted my body as Edward gave instructions to Emmett and Rose.

"Let him rest, but every so often gently wake him up. You might try and ask some basic memory questions, but don't be alarmed if he gets them wrong. He was asking for Jasper so he is probably confused and dazed. You might also want to get a wastebasket if he gets sick."

I watched them leave the room as Bella returned with clean sheets from the linen closet.

"The kids are fine, sound asleep. I am going to change the sheets. Why don't you go get cleaned up."

I wrapped my arms around her just another contraction hit. Silently she stroked my hair as I bit down on my lip, trying not to scream.

I looked up into her warm brown eyes and felt a tiny bit of peace.

"Thanks, Bells. You always did know how to take care of me."

"You're welcome, Jazz. And you always knew how to take care of me. Do you ever wonder what would have happened, ya know, if we had had more time together?" I looked at her soft lips, remembering the kisses we use to share.

"Sometimes. You know how much you mean to me, right?" She silently nodded her head.

A small part of me wanted to pull her lips to mine. We had history, major history. Things that only she and I knew about. I would always love her, But Alice was my soul mate and I knew that no matter what was going on between Edward and Bella it was the same way with them.

Edward walked back into the room as Bella released me. He sent her a silent message with his eyes as I made my way to the bathroom.

Quickly I stripped and took a fast shower, the hot water making my body feel a tiny bit better but doing nothing to help the intensity of the contraction that hit me while I was washing.

I slipped on a night shirt and a pair of pajama bottoms and padded back into the bedroom. The room was empty except for Edward

"Okay, Alice. Here is the deal. I don't have anything that can stop your contractions and I don't think there is any way we will be able to get you to the hospital. So I need you to take off your bottoms, climb in the bed and let me take a peek and see what is going on down there."

"The fuck you will." I growled.

"This is what I do for a living. Now get your ass in that bed. Besides it is not like I haven't seen it before."

Excuse me?

"And what exactly does that mean?" I hollered.

"Shit, Alice. Do you want to have the entire house in here so we can explain that we had one sex filled week in Cancun, senior trip? We agreed that with all of us somehow winding up as friends it would be best to keep it to ourselves." He hissed.

Edward, Alice…sex.

Motherfucker!

I launched myself at his neck, as my tiny hands wrapped around his throat.

"You fucking manwhore! I am going to kill you"

Another contraction hit as I released my grip from his neck, instead grabbing on to his arms to support my weight.

He waited until the pain had subsided and then scooped me up into his arms, gently placing me on the clean sheets.

"I know, Alice. I made some major mistakes in my past, but all that changed with Bella. I changed, she changed me. She taught me love." His eyes closed as his hands ran through his mop of bronze hair.

"She has that effect on people doesn't she?" I asked just as we heard a tentative knock on the door.

Bella stuck her head in and I could feel the love radiate from Edward.

"Everything okay in here?"

"Love, I need to examine Alice, but with Jasper out cold, maybe she would be more comfortable if you were in here with her."

She looked at me and I gave a nod. Quickly she climbed into the bed beside me and grasped my hand.

Edward pulled doff the pajama bottoms and I instinctively snapped my knees together.

"Alice…I have to look."

Bella gave my hand a reassuring squeeze as I unlocked the vice grip of my legs.

Without warning, he slipped a couple of fingers inside of me and I had the strong desire to raise my foot and kick his teeth in, but just as quickly, they were gone.

He grabbed a washcloth from the bathroom as Bella covered my lower half with a sheet.

"You are at nine centimeters and ninety percent effaced, so I think we need to all prepare ourselves for the fact that this baby is coming tonight."

I know I paled as Bella asked me if I was going to be sick. Baby…I was going to have a baby.

"Alice…Alice listen to me. You are going to be fine and so is the baby. Women have been giving birth outside of hospitals since the beginning of time. Plus you have an obstetrician here to help you through. Now we need to get some sheets or towels and…"

I tried to listen to what he was saying but I couldn't concentrate. I was going to give birth. I was going to bring my daughter into this world. The realization hit and I snapped back to my senses.

"Bells, you know where we keep everything. Edward, I give you free access to my hoo-ha…For now! Tell Rose and Emmett to take care of Jasper. I've got a baby to deliver."

There was a flurry of activity as everyone started in on their respective tasks. Another contraction hit, stronger than the last as I gritted my teeth against the pain.

I could do this. Women did it every day all over the world. I could do this.

It was almost two hours later and I was covered in sweat, screaming at the top of my lungs

"I can't do this! Oh God, please! I can't."

"Yes you can. The contraction should be just about over." Edward said looking at his watch.

Another few seconds of pain and then it subsided. I let out a long breath as Rose wiped a cool cloth across my forehead.

I looked at Bella and Rose on each side of me and gave them a weak smile.

"You ladies have no idea the amount of respect I have for you right now."

"Ditto, babe." Rose said smoothing the hair from my forehead.

"I am going to go check on Jasper. Be back in a minute." Edward said as he lifted the sheet, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Edward, would you mind asking Emmett to come in here for a minute?" I asked.

He shot me a confused look but just nodded his head as he left the room.

"Do you need anything?" Rose and Bella asked in unison. God help me how I loved them right now.

"I would like something to drink, or at least some ice. And maybe we should check on the kids again. I know I have been screaming like a banshee."

"I'll get some crushed ice while you check on the kids, Rose." Bella said climbing from the bed.

Rose and Bella passed Emmett as he was coming in the door. Rose laid a gentle kiss on his cheek as he gave her belly rub. He stopped short of the bed and I could swear he was trembling. I gestured him over, patting the bed beside me.

"Come on man, I'm in labor…not dying."

He slowly walked over and sat beside me.

"Man, Jazz. You okay? This is just all kinds of fucked up."

"I'm alright. Hurts like a bitch though."

"What…what does it feel like?"

"Hard to explain. Pain…lots of pain."

"I'm really sorry, Jasper. I didn't think…you know, I had no idea that this…" he said gesturing to my sheet covered body, "would happen."

"That's our problem, dude. Men, as a species, we just don't think sometimes."

I felt another contraction start and I grabbed his hand. A look of pure terror crossed his face as the pain shot through me.

"Holy shit! Fuuuuuuuck!" I screamed while I squeezed his hand with all my might.

Emmett looked like he was going to either be sick or pass out again, so I let go of his hands and grabbed two fistfuls of his shirt, dragging him down so he was just inches from my face.

"Don't you dare pass out, dickhead. Get a look…get a good long look and remember." I screamed.

Finally the pain subsided as I released his shirt and he fell off the bed. I shot him a smirk.

"After this is all said and done, I would be careful what I eat or drink, Emmie. Paybacks a bitch."

He paled as he scooted on his ass towards the door.

"You wouldn't." He whispered.

"No asshole, I wouldn't. But that little herb can come in handy. You better remember that. Now come over here a minute."

He eyed me warily but still crawled back over to my side.

"Lift up the sheet and tell me what you see. That last contraction was a doozy and I feel funny."

"Ummm...Jazz, not a good idea man. I mean…you don't want me looking at…"

"Listen, Alice told me about your little one night encounter. It's all good. Now Edward…shit the three of us are going to have to have some guy time when I get back to my body. Just do me a favor, lift up the sheet and tell me if anything looks strange."

"You're kidding right? What about this is not strange?" Still he lifted the sheet, peaking through one squinted eye.

"Oh man! Edward!!!! I see hair…I mean a head!!!" He screamed, tearing out the door.

Seconds later, everyone was hovering around the bed, well except for Emmett who was looking at me like an alien was in bed with me. Edward lifted the sheet, then slowly lowered it.

"It's time." He said. I looked at each person in turn and then Emmett hit the floor…again.

"Fucking shit, Rose. Do something about your man." I snapped.

She went over and not so gently smacked him across the face. She whispered something in his ear to which he just nodded and then crawled down the hall.

"Okay, he is going to sit with Al…Jasper while we do this. So Doctor Cullen what do we need to do?"

The bedroom became a hotbed of activity as Edward started barking out orders. I was helpless to do anything as the pain became more intense and constant.

The next thing I knew, Bella and Edward were at my feet, legs spread apart, with Rose at my head.

"Alice, when I tell you, I want you to push .Use the muscles around your bottom and just bear down as hard as you can. Ready…go."

I grabbed Rose's hand and pushed with all my might.

"Ugggggggg. Shit, shit, shit!!!!"

"Okay stop. Now breathe. Come on Alice, you can do this." Edward coached.

I looked at Rose and then Bella wide eyed. They both had tears forming in their eyes.

"You can do this, Jazz." Rose whispered.

"Okay, Ali. Here we go again. Push."

I bore down, feeling like I was splitting in two pieces.

"That's a girl. Push." Edward commanded.

"Fuck you, Edward. I fucking hate you." I screamed as he just gave me that crooked smile.

I tried to concentrate and breathe the way we had learned about in Lamaze class, but fuck it hurt so badly.

"Here we go again. One, two…push."

"Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!"

"Bella, hand me that bulb syringe."

I heard a slight sucking noise, and then a loud wail.

Baby…my baby.

"Good job. The head is out, just a few more pushes."

Another pain hit as I started to push. The next minute was a blur of pain and tears as I struggled to do exactly what Edward was telling me. I heard the silent sobs coming from both Rose and Bella and I had never wanted Alice so badly.

With one last push and a scream towards the sky, I felt the pressure release.

"You did it, Alice. You did it." Edward cooed.

I threw my sweaty head back against the pillow as Rose kissed my hand.

"One more push to get the placenta out." Edward said. I heard him talking softly to Bella about cleaning and such.

There was rustling at the end of the bed and then Bella was standing beside me a tiny bundle in her hands.

"Beautiful," Was all she could say.

She passed me the tiny form and I gazed with amazement into the beautiful eyes of my daughter.

"She is unbelievable." I cried.

Edward popped his head up from between my legs. "Actually…"

I shot him a confused look.

Slowly, Rose leaned over and unwrapped the blanket from the tiny baby. I looked in amazement at the tiny fingers, the smooth skin…the…?

What the fuck?

A penis…a tiny little schlong.

A boy…a boy. I have a son.

"Surprise." Rose said. She was crying, Bella was crying, Edward...well Edward just looked like one smug bastard. But I would let it go, considering he helped deliver this amazing creature safe and sound.

"Ummm…Edward, can I have a minute?"

"Sure. I'm going to check on Jazz and then call the hospital. The baby is small but is breathing fine on his own. However, I would like to get you both to the hospital as soon as possible-just to be safe."

I waited until he left the room and then turned to the women flanking me.

"You knew…you all knew?"

"Yep. Alice wanted it to be a surprise. She knew how much you wanted a boy." Bella said kissing the baby's tiny fingertips.

"That's what was in the present Bella and I got for you at the shower. It is full of boy clothes and toys." Rose said stroking the baby's cheek.

"You guys are just unbelievable. Alice… my sweet Alice…" I trailed off as the tears started flowing down my cheeks.

Suddenly Emmett arrived at the door, trailed by Edward.

"Dude, you did it! And a boy no less… you are the shiznit!" Emmett said striding over giving me a high five.

"Well, the salt trucks are out, and the snow has stopped, so we should be able to get you to the hospital in the morning." Edward stated as he pried the baby from my grip, slowly laying it down at the end of the bed to examine him.

"Do you have a name yet?" Edward asked as he cradled the baby, softly humming. I looked over at Bella and she had tears in her eyes, watching the exchange.

"Not yet. We never discussed boy's names. I guess I'll just have to wait until Al…Jasper feels better."

I took the baby back in my arms, as he let out a small wail. Gently, I placed my pinky in his mouth as he greedily sucked.

"I think someone is hungry. Boys, why don't you leave us alone for a bit?" Rose said as he stood up, ushering them out of the room.

As soon as they had left, she and Bella climbed back up on the bed. Rose took the baby from my arms as Bella tugged the nightshirt I was wearing over my head. Quickly, she replaced it with a button front that was left most of the way open.

Rose handed the baby back as they both scooted close.

"Now, pull out your breast and just offer him the nipple. Sort of run his mouth along it and see if he will latch on to it.

I did as she instructed and the next thing I knew his tiny lips were sucking furiously.

"What do you know? He is a boobie man already." I said gazing down at my son.

"Just like his Uncle Em!" Bella and Rose said together, all of us dissolving into another round of giggles.

Twenty minutes later, my baby was sound asleep and I was fast on my way to joining him. Bella lifted him from my embrace. I inadvertently whined at the loss of contact.

"No worries, just rest. He is so beautiful, Jasper." I watched as a single tear fell down her cheek.

"I want this again." She whispered.

I moved to pull her down towards the bed, but she backed away.

"Really, I'm fine. You need to rest. Hopefully by the time you wake up we can get you to the hospital. Plus, I heard Edward say Alice was coming around. Bu the time you wake up, everything should be right as rain."

"Bells…" I pleaded.

"Not now, alright?" She turned away, singing softly under her breath. The tune, I remembered…she had sung it to me once, a long time ago.

Quickly, I drifted into an exhausted sleep consumed with thoughts of my son.

AN2: Hmm…do you think Alice and Jasper will EVER change back? And what is UP with Edward and Bella? Guess we'll just have to wait and see!

The epilogue will be up on Friday. Don't forget to show us some love! Twilightmom has some whacked-out issues going on 'round her house, and she needs the lovin!