Chap 3 Internet Noob
Gaara rolls out of bed and looks at his calendar
Gaara: it's Saturday wow
He goes into the bathroom, brushes his teeth and washes his face then walks downstairs only to hear his sister on the phone
Temari: I love you more
Nooooooooooo I love you more
Gaara Thoughts
UGHHHH I know she's talking the prick shikamaru I hate him so much he's just not right for her but I'll let the relationship go on but if he hurts her he's dead I know he's cheating on her because I know shikamaru he can't just settle for one girl but I'm not going to tell her she is not going to believe me anyway
End of thoughts
Kankuro: morning baby bro
Gaara: yo …………..sooo about that shikamaru fag how are we going to deal with this
Kankuro: we ruin their date today at 8:00
Gaara: good idea we follow them and try to mess up their date
Kankuro: yeah we'll be like spies and shit
Gaara: *smiles* shut up *he gets cereal and pour into a bowl with milk and eats*
When he finishes he goes upstairs get his towel and goes into the bathroom with a ruler and his journal after gaara strips himself of his Elmo pajamas he writes dick measurement in his journal and measure himself when he is soft inches doesn't bother to measure hard because he can't jerk off he's afraid kankuro has camera in the bathroom
DICK MEASURMENT
Soft: 5 inches
HE get's in the shower turn on the water and let the water fall on him. It felt peaceful in the shower until kankuro came barging in and started to jerk off
Gaara: KANKURO WHAT THE FUCK
Kankuro: Easy I just got this new porno and this is some good shit
Gaara: Dude IM TAKING A SHOWER
Kankuro: soo what were family
Gaara: Dude I just want my privacy
Kankuro: You're acting like I've never seen your dick before
Gaara: ohhh goodddd shut uppp
Kankuro: the whole has seen your dick gaara when you were a baby
Gaara: Whatever man just don't even think about looking over here
Kankouro: Soo what man it's not like I can see anything even if I didn't look. Your dick is like microscopic
Gaara: Shut upp
Gaara gets back to bathing himself then 5 minutes later temari walks in
Temari: Sorry I have to brush my teeth
Gaara: WHAT THE FUCK YOU CANT WAIT TILL IM DONE
Temari: ummm nooo cause if I could I wouldn't be in here right now
Kankuro: hey temari why don't you get that vibrator under your bed and join us
Temari: WHATT, why are going through my things
Kankuro: You know every girl has a vibrator annnddd I was looking for a pen
Gaara: HA-HA your soo funny now get out
Temari: Oh shut up gaara your acting like I've never seen your dick
Gaara: OH HERE WE GO AGAIN
Temari: it's not like you have anything to hide let me remind you I used to bathe you
Gaara: let me emphasize the words "USED TO" it's not you do that anymore now
Temari: it's not like your dick grown much
Gaara: and how would you know
Temari: Cause I have the new year's party photo
Gaara: where the fuck did you get that.
Temari: were else…Your room
Gaara: Holy shit I have no privacy in this house WHY DON'T YOU JUST TEAR DOWN THE WALLS AND LET THE WHOLE WORLD SEE
Temari: I was planning on putting it on myspace
Gaara: ummm …no you won't …..how about you give it back
Temari: Nottttt………oh and kankuro my friend says she wants her panties back
Kankuro: …….look I can explain she slept over and she was hot so I went to sniff her panties and I forgot to put them in the wash
Gaara: EWWWWW WHAT THE FUCK
Kankuro: OHH shut up you virgin
Temari: Your sick …………..anyway she wants them back
Kankuro: whatever
Temari finishes brushing her teeth and washing her face and leave then kankuro finishes his business…..and leaves
Gaara: finally some privacy
Gaara gets out the shower and goes into his room and changes sits on his bed and thinks then gets bored and goes on the computer
Gaara thoughts
Well here I am on the weekend doing nothing………….well since I will be losing my virginity soon I wonder what happen in that time well where can I find this information ……. GOOGLE the best place to look at porn find a sex partner talk to online strangers and get kidnapped and finding stupid old information………………GOOGLE ROCKS
End of thoughts
Gaara goes on google and looks up VIRGINITY and goes through the links
SAFE SEX IS FUN SEX
Huh? Safe sex might be ok but if my mom and………………father had safe sex I would not be hear………….OHHHHH I get it people who say these things hate babies …………………………………and sexually transmitted diseases GAYYY
SEX CAN WAIT TILL MARRIRAGE
HELLL NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GAYYYYY
SEX TOYS
NOOOO never I'll save this link for Temari
NYMPHO's WANTED
Wonder where that located???? *smirk*
I LOVE SEX
Hmmm interesting I'd love to have sex
Gaara click this link and to his horror ………….
"OHHHHH GOD my eyes MY FUCKING EYES WHYYY MEE"
Gaara read the title over
I LOVE SEX………………………GAY SEX
He rushes and quits the site
"Oh god never again MY MOTHER FUCKING EYES never………………..never ever again"
After recuperating he goes back to looking at the links
HOW TO HAVE THE BEST SEX EVER
"ill get back to you"
VIRGINITY
Yess I finally found you…you don't know what I've been through
Garra clicks on the link and looks around
Advice For Virgins
Make sure you use a condom
"awww but condoms are uncomfortable"
Boys always on top so you know when to pull it out and what speed to go
" maaaann I will do it to the MAXIMUM because I'm nice like that"
when the girl starts bleeding that's your Q to stop
Ewwww blood
your first time would most likely last 30 sec-2 min
"What the fuck 30 seconds how is that memorable
Then gaara gets a instant message from rock lee
Rock lee: yoo check this out go on google images and type in these images, Goatsee, Tub girl, and lemon party
Gaara: what the fuck is this shit it better be nothing nasty
Rock lee: No man you're going to love this anyway I got to go See ya
Gaara: I swear if it's nasty I'm going to kill you
Rock lee signs off
Gaara went to google images and typed in goatsee
"OH GODD WHAT THE FUCK HOW DOES A GUY DO THAT I feel sickkk"
Then he typed in tub girl
"OH MY GOD HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE HOW THE HELL…….i feel the vomit rising"
Then he typed in lemon party
"OH I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE…………..can't…..hold……it"
Gaara runs to the bathroom and throws up, then temari comes running towards gaara
Temari: Are you sick again or are you trying to lose weight cause I have these pills that you stick up you're……
Gaara: OH IT'S NOTHING LIKE THAT I DON'T WANNA HERE THAT………nasty girl
Garra thoughts
This is my chance I can get her back for making me clean the jizz off the wall……
End of thoughts
Gaara: Hey temari go on the computer and look at tub girl lemon party and goatsee that's the screen names of three single models and make sure its google images though
Temari: alright are they hot?
Gaara: I can't answer that
Temari: come on everyone knows your gay gaara
Garra: Shut upp I'm NOT GAAY I LOVE CHICKS
Garra went to his room and watches the bathroom then five minutes later he see's temari run into the bathroom
Gaara: yessss got ya back bitch
Then kankuro runs to temari
Kankuro: what's wrong with you………………………don't tell me….YOUR PREGNANT
Temari: WHAT nooo you idiot
Kankuro: that shikamaru I'm going to kill him I know you were pregnant you belly been bloating a little
Temari: I NOT FUCKING PRENANT!!!!!!!!!!...............ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT
Kankuro: what……………..not pregnant….shittt nooooo no no no temari calm down please don't hurt me
Temari: I'm not only going to hurt you IM GOING TO KILL YOU……wait a minute you know what kankuro go on google images and look up lemon party goatsee and tub girl that the screen name three models for Victoria Secret
Kankuro: I'm not dead yet????? Wait huh temari your giving me 3 screen names to Victoria secret models wow my lucky day thank sis
Kankuro runs toward his room before temari changes her mind and temari goes to her room and watches the bathroom
Temari: psshhhhhh? Your lucky day…..MY ASS
7 minutes later kankuro runs towards the bathroom
Temari: WHAT DO YOU GOT ON THAT....IDIOT
After everything gets settled down the door bell rings And Gaara goes to get it
Gaara opens the doors
Gaara: ………………..shikabitch what the fuck do you want candy we don't have any
Shikamaru: ….hi gaara
He walks inside
Gaara: didn't I just tell you we have no fucking candy
Shikamaru: …………….huh?
Temari walks down stairs
Temari: SHIKAMARU *gives him a hug*
Gaara: you're a lucky man shikabitch
Gaara runs upstairs and tells kankuro
Kankuro: dam he's early we have to spare sometime
Gaara: how bout we tell him about the nasty pictures
Kankuro: good idea wait how do you know
Gaara: I know things you just go hurry up and tell him
Kankuro run downstairs after temari goes up to get ready
Kankuro: hey shikamaru
Shikamaru: what up man
Kankuro: ohhhhhhhh nothing you know I just found out about these 3 victoria secret models I have there screen names want to check it
SHikamaru: dude NOOOO way I totally want to check that out
Kankuro: go upstairs in my room and go on the computer to google images and look up goatsee lemon party and tub girl
Shikamaru: wow man you're the best
Kankuro: I know……… I know
SHikamari runs upstairs into the room while knakuro runs in gaara's room
Gaara: dude I'm changing
Kankuro: I have change to
Gaara: PRIVACY why do I even try it never work just stay in that little corner and no peeping
Kankuro: whatever
They change into all black with black jeans black boots black hoodies and put pantyhose on their heads until 6 minutes later they see shikamaru run to the bathroom
Temari comes out of her room
Temari: shika what's wrong
SHikamaru comes out and pulls temari and runs out side with her
YOU GUYS ARE SICK shikamaru yell towards kankuro and gaara while running
Temari: what's up man
Shikamaru: nothing
Shikamaru and temari get in the car and drive off
Gaara: we sure got him
Kankuro: totally
They give each other a high five's until suddenly they notice……..
Gaara: DUDE WE LEFT THEM…….
Kankuro: shiiittttt there probably long gone
Gaara: we are retards
Kankuro: I know man ……………………..WE HAVE TO FIND THEM
TO BE CONTINUED