Hey dudes hows all my lovely ppl ??? I was getting a little discouraged when I only got three reviews for my last chapter (thanxx for reviewing) and I wasn't going to update but then I realized why should I be mad because I only got three updates, its not about how many reviews I get, its about making you guys who enjoy reading my story happy and making myself happy. I'm not saying I don't want you to review cause I love hearing feed back, I'm just saying I'm dedicating my story to u ppl. My fans. The reason I'm writing

OMG I can't believe how sappy I'm getting this is not like me ! LOL maybe I'm in a weird mood, hmm yer that could be why this chapters totally different and more mystic from the rest of the story. I guess I wanted to try something new. If you don't get it don't worry it will all become clear.

Disclaimer: see previous chapters ( I'm still really lazy)

Chapter 6: Hanging on

How can life go from rising above the clouds to crashing, full force to the ground. Is life just a pattern of disaster and happiness repeated over and over on our unpredictable lives. One moment you could be so radiant that you could take off and raise about all your troubles and the next your eight feet below, in an impossible nightmare; I can't breath yet I won't die.

It came at me with full force. Their was no stopping it, not one chance in hell of preventing the inevitable. If theres one thing I didn't know before now, it's that you can't change fate even though I had believed it possible, even though I thought I had myself proven it. I was wrong. That day,so long ago, I thought I had altered Jesse's fate when in actual fact I had only fulfilled his destiny. It was all apart of the big plan. I was supposed to go back to Jesse's past, I was supposed to drag his unsuspecting soul from one era to the next. I knew this now because I am fulfilling my own fate. As much as it pains me, as much as I wish it weren't so, I am helpless.

I rounded that corner without fear or knowing what lied ahead. If I had the chance would I change anything? Would I interfere with the carts path ? Would it change anything?

I don't know.

Jesse, my dear sweet Jesse, he had one arm circled around my waist and we had secret, loving smiles on our faces. We were happy. Yet theres always something to bring you down and it's almost never when you expect it. I sure as hell wasn't and neither was Jesse.

The cart came form no where. I didn't have enough time to register the why or the reason. I stood there, frozen while I waited for the impact. It came and it hurt. Yet not from the direction I was expecting. You see, Jesse was faster then me, he didn't wait. He acted in the heat of the moment. Oh god, how I wish it was me that was hit.

Yet it was the only way to save one of the two most things I hold most dear to me. The impact of Jesse shoving me out of the way, jolted all of my bones, I hit my head on the lino floor and the last thing I saw was the light.

Not ' THE' light but the damn florescent hospital lights. Then my world was spinning. "SUSANNAH" was the last thing that I could here echoing around me. The only voice that could send my heart singing, was full of pain. Two kinds of pain. One of which was one I recognized as the tone he used when I was in danger, layered with a second that hurt me to hear. His pain.

This is the end.

That's the last thing I thought before I closed my eyes.

But as I said, things don't happen how or when you expect them. The end would have to be put on hold for a little while longer.

The real pain hadn't set in yet.

Jesse was still hanging on.

I was still hanging on.

Our baby was still hanging on.

Yet, somethings can't hold on forever. Sometimes we have to let go.

What I do remember is, love. Nothing, could stop me loving, not even death; when my heart stops beating, I won't be lost. Love won't be lost.

Okay so I know this chapter like really cryptic and what ev but it will soon make sense I promise !!!!!!!!!

I LOVE YOU ALL xxx

THANKS FOR READING AND REVIEWING

CANT WAIT TO POST MY NEXT CHAPPIE, PLZ DON'T RUSH ME THOUGH, I WRITE WHEN KNOW I WANT TO OTHER WISE ILL END UP WRITING CRAPPY STORY LINES AND STUFFING EVERYTHING UP. SO PLZ DON'T BE ALL LIKE YOU HAVE TO UPDATE TOMORROW CAUSE AS MUCH AS I LOVE YOU ALL I HAVE A REALLY BUSY LIFE AND I ONLY GET TIME AT NIGHT TO WRITE.

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