HEY. I know it's been a while but instead of giving you excuses you should know I had my reasons for not updating sooner and I'm sorry. Enjoy this chapter I know it's not long but it's just what I needed to get back into the swing of things.

Chapter 11: Choose Life or Death

I stared down at him. He was so beautiful. He was so much more then I could hope for and he belonged to me. He kicked his way out of his blankets and his tiny fingers made fists. Big innocent, emerald eyes peered back at me as I watched him dazed. Slowly and carefully I picked the tiny bundle and cradled it to my chest. I stroked his fine black hair tenderly and sat down on a near by chair. I couldn't hold it any longer, I started to shudder and heave, my breathing ragged. The tears flowed rapidly down my face. My only comfort was the warm bundle wrapped in my arms. I couldn't move, I could only weep.

After a while the tears subdued, I stared blankly ahead, not thinking. I could only hear the 'Ticktock' of the clock on the faded white walls. Ticktock...ticktock...ticktock...

When I finally broke my trance I looked down and he was fast asleep in my arms. I was about to get up when a nurse entered the room. I almost sprang up.

"Is he alright? How did the surgery go?".

She was a homely looking women, with a very kind face, which even when troubled looked comforting.

"Let me take him from you dear". Reluctantly I handed him over.

"So how did it go?" I asked impatiently.

Her forehead crinkled into a frown and her mouth turned down "I'm afraid I have some bad news..."

x-x-x-x-x

There he lay. Olive skin pale, bruises under his eyes, still lifeless. Only months ago I was looking at the same image. Only this time there was at least four monitors in the room, tubes seemed to stick out from him everywhere and worst of all... he was..he was... he was hooked up to.. to a... a ... a life support... machine.

"Jesse" I whispered "you promised, you said you'd always be there for me. So where are you now?"

I stroked his soft cheek " I need you now more then ever."

I heard the door creak behind me and I spun around. My mother poked her head through the door, she held her grandson in her arms.

"The doctors told me everything, oh Susie honey I'm so sorry". I nodded, I couldn't speak. Gently I took the baby from her and seeming to understand how I felt she left without another word.

I turned back to Jesse and lent as close as him as I could. "Wake up Jesse, there's someone you have to meet, someone who you will love, someone whose apart of you. Wake up..."

No matter how much I pleaded he didn't stir and his eyelids remained closed. The only sign of life he showed was the small constant beat of his heart on a small monitor.

The world seemed to be against us. The kind nurse had told me the worst news I would ever hear in my life. I was going to have to make the biggest choice of my life. Which would not only effect me in every way possible but it would effect the future of our baby.

The nurse told me I would have to decide whether or not to turn Jesse's life support off. I had to choose life or death. Whether a piece of me would die or not. Whether Jesse would ever meet his father.

Life or Death... how can I choose?

Dun Dun DUNNNN I know I know I'm an EVIL LITTLE CLIFF HANGER but it's just the way I roll :P did ya catch the bit in the second last sentence did ya??? That's another piece of the puzzle ... and its why i used he and his at the start SOOO MUCH cause I wanted to surprise you with it so YEAHHH

if you read one of the hints I gave you in a previous chapter it should kinda give you another clue to how this story may end

But thats enough hints for now ... I can't promise you when the next chapter will be up so until next time

I'm Impulsive-Rose (NICOLE :P) and this has been another instalment of Never Letting go... XOXO

Btw it's my birthday 11/07 IN TWO DAYS TIME ON SATURDAY WHOOOOOO