A/N:

okay I made it back to Germany, trying to get used to it again, have a job blaaa. And started this update like... 2 weeks ago lol. I know, you all couldn't care much. Anyway, if you're from Italy, Berlusconi, prostitute, again? Ew much! BTW everyone get Twitter (and add me ha)

Disclaimer: Sue me and you'll sleep with the fische. I now mean it, I'll drown u in my caramel coffe lol. JK, don't own it.

THANKS TO DANIELLE AKA RIGHTHANDBLUE FOR BETAING!!!!!!!

Chapter 4

Kevin looked out of the window, making absolutely sure Addison really was in her car and on her way to the practice. He felt like Tom Hanks in "You've got mail",and how he had tried to hide his secret emailing from his girlfriend. But this was different, it didn't involve any other person but him, it was his dirty little secret. One he prayed for Addison would never discover. Why? He was not exatly sure himself, maybe it had a lot to do with fear. Fear of what she might think of him, fear of how she would react to him going through her personal belongings without ever mentioning it to her. He wanted to tell her, but how? He had always thought he would tell her with time, but the more time had passed, the harder and the more absurd it seemed to tell her about what he was doing. It was just like back when he was still smoking. Smoking had always been his only vice, but now it wasn't true. He had thought he could just quit whenever, but the discovery that it indeed was an addiction hit him like a big yellow school bus. And this, this was similar. He told himself he'd stop, but whenever he went into the room and went through Addison's pictures it was as if they whispered ‚'you can't stop now' to him. In the beginning there had been a line, but now he could barely see it, that's how far he had already gone.

Once he had closed the wooden door behind him, it was as if he was entering another world. A world where he wasn't himself, a world where the worst demons within him brought a world of shadow and darkness upon him. But he didn't mind, he felt that it was wrong, but he couldn't help himself.

And there it was, another picture and yet another memory he hadn't been able to share with his now girlfriend. However back then she had belonged with someone else… In this picture Addison was wearing sunglasses, her beautiful red locks, long as ever and she was pointing at the writing on her shirt, people around her giving her strange looks.

Derek chuckled as he and Addison walked around at JFK airport, waiting to board their plane.

"Why are you laughing at me?" She raised an eyebrow, although she was entirely sure what the reason for his chuckle was.

"Just loving the t-shirt Adds…" He pecked her cheek with a grin on his face. Addison was wearing her purple K-State t-shirt, and obviously New Yorkers did not understand the college sports madness that went on in the mid west where Addison was from. Or at least that's what they figured from the rather amused to plain rude looks she had gotten. And of course Addison had her own way of reacting to this.

"Go Wildcats!" She said loudly when someone else was giving her a look, making Derek laugh."Oh you hush, I'm just patriotic." She shrugged and Derek took a picture with his phone, Addison completely convinced that there was nothing better than K-State.

Kevin chuckled, K-State he had never even heard of this team, but he figured it was college sports only, so he didn't know much about it. He had grown up being a Lakers fan, then he was in New York for a while and had been told the Lakers simply suck. Which was wrong, in his mind, and he fought to defend his principles. Maybe it was the same with Addison and K-State…
Next picture, next memory. Kevin's eyes widened in wonder and confusion over what this picture was supposed to be about. It was Addison making a shocked pose, her right hand covering her opened mouth, her left pointing at red panties that were put up on the wall. They had 'good f*ck' written on them. What the heck?!? Kevin asked himself.

"I think… He'll kill us Savvy!" Addison laughed as her and Savannah nailed the red panties they had bought that day, to Derek's wall. They had 'good f*ck' written on them. Of course there was a story behind this. They had all been shopping for Christmas presents and Derek had seen boxershorts with 'click to enlarge' on them, he had said he would even put those up on his wall. So later when Addison and Savannah were on their own they looked for something more suitable to put up on Addison's boyfriends wall and they had found it!

"Probably." Savvy chuckled as she looked at the panties up on the wall. "At least when his mom comes to visit in…" She checked the time "in thirty minutes."

"Oh dear…" Addison couldn't help but laugh.

"Well, he did say he would put that kinda stuff on his wall, it's his fault… well a little…"

"That's probably true and his mom never sees his room anyway."

"You just know that cause you were lyin in his bed without any clothes on when she came…" Savannah chuckled, remembering when Addison herself had called her when that had happened, asking for advice.

"Hey! You promised not to mention that again!"

"Oh well, don't be such a sissy! Now, pose for a picture Addie!"

Kevin was still quite surprised about the 'good f*uck' picture, but then went on to the next stack of pictures. Unlike the rest of Addison's life, this wasn't organized and neatly put in scarpbooks like he would have expected.

Addison chuckled as she talked on her phone on the way home. "Well, Derek you would want to know if I liked the movie."

"Come on, you love Transformers!" It felt like the good old days, talking about this and that. Little nothings that meant more to both of them than any heated medical discussion.

"I did like it, as a matter of fact. Even though you probably only watched it for Megan Fox!"

"Nuh uh! I so did not! You might have actually, after all you kinda want her…"

Addison had to laugh loudly at this. "I do not want her!"

"Oh come on now Addie, you can tell me, it's okay if you do."

"Derek that is a lie!" She continued amused.

"Addison, you can tell me, you know that." After a while they would always say each other's first names in the beginning of every sentence, neither knew why.

"Derek, whatever! You watched it for Shia!"

"Addison, that is a rumor and you cannot prove it!"

Both of them had to laugh, but then Addison heard a pager go off.

"Sorry Addles, I gotta go. I'll call you tomorrow, k?"

"Yeah, of course, have a great day. Bye."

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