Hansa's eyes flashed open as an odd clicking noise rang in her ears. She slowly tried to sit up, but something held her down, something that was breathing softly against her neck. She looked down at herself and found Schrodinger nestled against her chest, arms wrapped around her back tightly, as if he was afraid to let go. His legs were intertwined with hers and he had a very embarrassing disposition pressing against her thigh. The clicking continued and the lycanthrope's ears went straight up… it was the door!
She immediately picked the sleeping Schrodinger up and almost jumped into the bathroom to hide herself and the boy from whoever was intruding. Seras was in a bedroom, and Hansa could easily pounce from here to the bedroom door, if the draculina hadn't already been alerted to the foreign presence. The door opened and someone stepped into the pitch-black living room.
"Hmmm…thought I heard someone rush somewhere quick. Maybe…" Jan Valentine's voice whispered from the other side of the door. Hansa immediately searched for a place to hide Schrodinger and herself, and the only place to go was the shower. She slid the shower door to the side and put Schrodinger in, getting into the cramped compartment and Jan opened the bathroom door, turning on the lights. Hansa thanked God that the shower's glass walls distorted the image of a person down to a peach-colored blob. Jan snickered.
"Vampire girl?"
"Guess again," Hansa retorted, putting a finger to Schrodinger's lips as he awoke slowly. Jan tapped the floor with his foot.
"That's odd. I thought you'd take a shower with the water on and without your clothes on." Hansa growled, but begrudgingly removed her clothes and slid the shower door a fraction of an inch, depositing her undergarments on the floor.
"Lucky me, you caught me as I just go it," Hansa said sarcastically. She heard Jan snicker again as the lycanthrope turned the water on. She growled.
"Oh well, maybe I can ju-"
"If you don't get out in five seconds, I'm going to tear it off und bury it," Hansa threatened. Jan silently left the apartment without a single word. He didn't doubt for a second that Hansa would go through with it. The werewolf let out a sigh of relief as Jan closed the apartment door behind him and began walking back down the hallway. He wasn't going to do anything in here! That enough was true.
Hansa turned her head back to the other occupant of the shower, and found him with wide, awe-filled eyes and tongue lolling out. He looked like someone who had gotten his first real-time glimpse of a nice pair of…Hansa looked down and realized that she was bare-chested. Yeah, Schrodinger would have those eyes right now. He'd just gotten his first real-time glimpse of a nice pair of breasts. Hansa let out a groan as the boy's nose began to bleed. His embarrassing disposition begged to be released from its confines of his wet boxers. Hansa couldn't help but feel a little bit sorry for him. It was three in the morning, and Hansa wasn't going to fix that problem for him, no way in hell.
But the cat boy grinned sneakily and disappeared for a few moments before reappearing with his hands behind his back.
"Schrodinger," Hansa asked in a maternal tone, knowing that the cat boy was up to something that couldn't be good. She shook her head and felt something sharp prick her arm. Immediately, she grabbed the cat boy by the neck and pushed him against the wall, but he still wore a sneaky grin on his face.
"Don't fret Kaiptan. You won't remember a thing," he said. Hansa looked down at her arm and saw that he had a syringe in his hand, pushing some strange blue-tinted liquid into her vein. She ripped the medical instrument out of her arm and tossed it out of the shower, falling back with her head spinning. Schrodinger removed his boxers and put them with Hansa's clothes.
"Schrodinger…vhat…no…" Hansa said as she felt the boy's hands crawling up her sides. Schrodinger silenced her as his lips found hers.
"Don't vorry. Like I said, you von't remember a thing…" Hansa's body felt hot, and she hugged Schrodinger to her body. He felt cool, soothing to her burning body. Schrodinger simply grinned.
"I'll…I'll kill you vhen…" Hansa tried, but her threat died in her throat as Schrodinger kissed her again.
"Time to go to heaven," the cat boy purred, tracing the mid line of Hansa's body. She arched her back against him. She'd kill him for sure if she didn't die herself! She felt like she was drowning in pleasure!
Hansa's eyes shot open and she sat straight up, hearing a heavy thud soon thereafter. The lycanthrope looked down to see what had fallen, and was awestruck to find Schrodinger on the floor, rubbing his head as he blinked away tears.
"Ow! Kapitan, it's three in ze morning. Vhat are you doing?" he asked annoyedly, standing back up and instantly blushing. He had a rather embarrassing need confined beneath his boxers. Hansa's eyes went as wide as dinner plates and she covered her mouth. She…she had been raped! Schrodinger had drugged her in the shower and had his way with her! How could this be?! She immediately rushed to the bathroom and flung the door open, cat boy trailing behind her tiredly. Hansa slid open the shower door and ran her hand along the bottom of the bathtub. Dry as a bone.
She turned around and grabbed Schrodinger's boxers. Dry as well. Hansa felt her own body, trying to find some trace of defilement that the boy could've missed. She felt nothing. The lycanthrope trembled with fear for a few moments before the cat boy meekly whispered something into her ear.
"I think you vere dreaming earlier. You vere mumbling somezing about ripping zomezing off…und about me…und killing somevon," the cat boy finished his statement with a hint of fear in his voice. Hansa knelt down and hugged him softly.
"It vas nozing, so go back to bed on ze sofa. I'm…" she stopped dead in her tracks. Great that it had been only a dream…but that meant that she had just dreamt a sex dream involving only herself and Schrodinger! She looked at the boy and he stared back at her…only he was staring at her chest. She growled softly, but sighed after a moment. If she were a boy again, she'd probably be doing the same thing, more than that really.
She went back to the sofa and snuggled up with him again. They were both asleep until Seras woke them up the following morning to go back out to the beach.
Hansa sat in the cool shade of an umbrella next to Alucard, who was still busy with sunglasses on his face and his nose in a book. She was enjoying her stay now that she had ridded herself of the horrid memories of last night's dream. She shook her head violently and the vampire next to her chuckled to himself. Hansa glared as he spoke.
"Getting rid of some fleas are you?" he asked.
"If I vas, it still vouldn't be as bad as ze things you carried," she retorted. The vampire shrugged.
"Fair enough. At least I wasn't the one that had a sex dream last night about a certain adolescent boy," the vampire replied in an emotionless tone. Hansa flushed red and then realized the magnitude of the vampire's statement. She turned her head to him and stared worriedly into his eyes, covered by the dark surface of his sunglasses.
"You vouldn't dare," she growled menacingly. Alucard pushed his sunglasses down a bit.
"And you think I could forget warping through the wall to check in on my poor fledgling, only to find you on the sofa, snatch wet, grinding your hips against Schrodinger's, moaning his name in your sleep? Oh no, that is far too memorable to simply slip from my mind." He continued to read.
"Und you think I'll sit here vitout a response, huh? Vell, if I vere you, I'd be more vorried about zose video tapes under ze lining of your coffin, along vit a pair of Integra's panties. Oh yes, I'd be very worried." Alucard's grin faded instantly and his face twisted into something between a ferocious grimace and a demeaning leer. He slowly closed his book and turned his head to the lycanthrope, who smirked deeply.
"Hmmm…I wonder what you did last night. Did you and my fledgling do any naughty things while I was out and about scaring war veterans?" he asked with false-kindness, a carefully-crafted hatred beneath his fake benign gaze. The lycanthrope flipped a tuff of hair out of her face.
"Wouldn't you like to know, Mr. I-know-everything-my-fledgling-knows. Too bad last night is a secret," she said, benignly, but with an unmistakable threat beneath her tone. Alucard nodded silently and returned to his book.
"Still can't believe it though…" he murmured. Not another word was spoken between them before Seras ran up to the two. Hansa glanced at Alucard, but the vampire made no more, nor even looked up to acknowledge that his fledgling had arrived. Hansa stood up and Schrodinger teleported to her side, hugging her waist tightly. Hansa managed to pry him from her body without hurting him. He simply grinned up at her with Seras trying to calm him down.
"Okay Schrodinger, just wait for me to tell her," Seras said, grabbing the cat boy in a headlock and lifting him off the ground. He squirmed in her grip and Seras rolled her eyes. Hansa put a finger on the tip of Schrodinger's nose and he immediately stopped what he was doing and tried to pry her finger off of his body. Seras furrowed her brow.
"It disrupts his sense of smell, zo he vants to rid my finger from him. It always works," the lycanthrope explained. Seras nodded.
"Well, Schrodinger…he accidentally bumped into the guys that you made jealous of him when we got ice cream. And now, they, er the thing is…"
"Vhat?"
"Zey challenged me to a contest, und zey said zat I could get two of mein friends to help me. I told zem zat ze Kapitan vould be enough, und zey said yes. But…ze condition for losing is zat you have to have sex vit all of zem," Schrodinger said, squirming to get away from Seras. Hansa grabbed the cat boy by his chest, her fingers tearing into his flesh as she picked him up. It looked like she was holding him up by his collar, only it was his skin.
"Vhat did you just say?" she asked menacingly. Schrodinger's eyes filled with tears.
"But zey called you a whore…und a slut. I couldn't sit zer und let zem do zat. It vasn't right," Schrodinger tried to explain. Hansa threw him to the ground and licked the blood off of her fingers.
"Ver are zey now?" she asked. Seras pointed to her right.
"Not too far down that way. I suppose it's alright if I go too?" Hansa grabbed Schrodinger by the arm and dragged him all the way to where the teens were waiting. She dropped him upon arrival and the one from before stepped forward.
"I'm Mark, that's Kyle, and that's Jeremy. I suppose you'll get to know us very well in a few minutes." Mark said with a smug grin on his face. Hansa flipped a tuff of hair out of her face and Schrodinger stood beside her, a worried look on her face.
"I'm sorry," he said guiltily. Hansa rubbed his head and scratched behind her ear. This shouldn't be too hard. Mark looked back at Kyle and nodded. Out of six sports bags appeared three weight lifting bars and several dozen weights. She looked down at Schrodinger and he grinned widely.
"Varrent Officer."
"Don't worry. I could talk at von year old, I can lift a good amount of veight." He grinned cheekily as the three teens began to set their weights on the bars. Mark spoke up after the job was done.
"Okay, so the contest is to see which side can lift more combined weight, us or you. Hey, kid, where's the 'kapitan' you were talkin' about? Some French guy?" Schrodinger shook his head.
"No, zis is ze Kapitan," the cat boy explained, jerking a trembling finger to Hansa. The lycanthrope did not look pleased.
"What?! She doesn't look like she could lift a finger to us! The hell're you talkin' about?" Mark yelled. Schrodinger's ears flattened and he turned to the superior officer.
"Kapi…"
"Schrodinger, I can do zis von by myself. Do you vant to sit out?" she asked with a smile. Schrodinger hid behind Seras and shivered violently. Not only was Schrodinger the cause of her rather embarrassing dream, talk with Alucard, and reason for this stupid contest…but these, these children were mocking the last of an entire race! Hansa's blood boiled and she waited for the three teens to get ready. Once ready, they began to get cocky.
"This is two-twenty." Jeremy lifted it above his head with much effort and held it there. "So, how big do you like 'em?" Next was Mark.
"Okay, three hundred," he said, lifting his weight above his head, arms trembling slightly. "Cake walk!" he exclaimed hoarsely. Kyle was last.
"Okay, two-sixty." He lifted the weight and held it over his head, much like the other two. "Okay, combined weight of seven hundred eighty." Hansa cracked her knuckles and the three teens immediately dropped their weights. The werewolf walked up to the bas of weights and rolled out every set she could, for a total of almost a thousand pounds, even without the weight of the other three bars. The loaded up her bar as heavy as it could be, then the other three with what was left. The three teens watched with smug superiority.
"I'm sorry, but do you really think you'll be able to even roll those?" Mark asked. Hansa picked up all for with absolutely no effort and grinned maliciously.
"Dear me, I might not be able to pick all of zis up," Hansa exclaimed softly with mock-worry. Mark grinned.
"I guess that means you come with us then," he said. Hansa turned to Schrodinger and waved him over. The cat boy nervously stepped to her side and whispered into his ear. Immediately, Schrodinger puffed his hest out and his eyes turned blood red. Two pillars of grey smoke came out of his nostrils. He grabbed all four of the weight bars.
"For ze boobie qveen!" he said, heaving as the weights left the ground. Hansa knelt down behind him and wrapped her arms around his back.
"I may consider it too, depending on how well you do," Hansa teased, licking the shell of the cat boy's furry ear. Schrodinger's face turned red with fury and his ears shot straight up. What little muscle and sinew he had on his arms stuck out like cables as he lifted the nigh two thousand pounds of weight above his head, hands blood red and entire body trembling. He glared at the three teens.
"Nobody touches my beauties!" he roared as the weights flew through the air towards the three bewildered teens. They ran even before the weights had hit the ground. Hansa was impressed with Schrodinger. She hadn't expected him to be able to actually lift all four of them. She had prepared to lift three herself and leave one for Schrodinger. This was a nice change of pace for once. Schrodinger suddenly fell back into the lycanthrope's arms and looked up into her eyes, ears perked up and a red tinge still trying to leave his cheeks.
"Zo…I will get to see ze boobie qveen's boobies?" he asked cheekily. Hansa looked over at Seras, whose jaw had dropped to the ground, and nodded. She put her finger on the cat boy's nose and he fidgeted, waving his arms tiredly in a vain attempt to rid himself of the annoying disposition.
"Und I might show you mine if you don't pass out after hers," Hansa replied, pinching his cheek lightly. She stood up and held Schrodinger by the back of his swimming trunks.
"Kapitan?"
"Ja?"
"Vhy vas your basing suit vet when you voke me up zis morning?" he asked. Hansa's eyes twitched and she stopped walking.
"BECAUSE YOU TOUCH YOURSELF AT NIGHT!" Hansa replied, throwing him as far as she could back the way she came. Vhat an annoying little brat! Hansa clapped Seras on the back and gave her a thumbs up.
"You're scary," the draculina commented. Hansa only scoffed.
"True, but at least I don't have to show zat pervert my chest," she retorted with a smirk. Seras ran ahead as fast as she could, screaming.
"MASTER, HELP ME!" Unfortunately for her, Alucard was on Schrodinger's side this time.