I waited nervously for Esme to speak. She settled herself into the Stickley chair near the unused fireplace, folded her hands in her lap, and gazed steadily at me. Was she waiting for me to explain?

"Esme, I'm sorry." It came out as a mumble.

"Sorry for what, dear?" she asked softly. She wanted me to say it out loud.

"I'm sorry that I lied to Carlisle." I wouldn't apologize for hurting Edward. I would never apologize for that.

"I'm sure that he'd like to hear that when he gets home from the hospital. He's an uncommonly honest person. He might understand why you lied, but he won't like it. He would never say that, of course. Not to you." She smiled gently. "However, the thing that I'm truly worried about is what happened between you and Edward." She tilted her head, probably expecting to hear an apology for that too.

"I can't apologize for hurting him, Esme. I was protecting myself." I suppose on the surface that that was true. However, there was a satisfaction I got from hearing the pop of his arm coming off his body that went far beyond simply protecting myself. It just felt good. I got lost in the fantasy of doing the same to men whose arms wouldn't simply reattach or grow back, men who would bleed and suffer. And die.

"I'm sure that wasn't all, Rosalie. You know, we all have darkness inside of us. I think letting it out can be healthy. Sometimes. But I think allowing that side of ourselves free rein, allowing it to be the ruling force in our lives is…ruinous. People with our backgrounds have to learn to forgive so that we can move on."

"But you were avenged. You have to know that. Your husband is dead. Those men…those men were at my funeral. No one will avenge me. Nothing will ever happen to them." I couldn't believe she was telling me this…to move on while those monsters still walked among decent people?

"That is true. It makes it easier for me, knowing that I survived and he is dead. Knowing he could never even lay eyes on me again, much less a hand." She paused, thoughtful for a moment. "But I forgive him, Rosalie. I don't excuse what he did to me, I certainly don't understand that kind of cruelty, but he's got no power over me anymore. His memory doesn't hold any pain for me. I know that emotionally it will be difficult for you, being vampire. We can't grow and change the way humans can. All I'm asking is that you have faith that there will come a time when something will change for you, a change that will make forgiveness possible. And I think that is going to happen for you." She got up and came over to me. I was sitting on the rug, and she knelt beside me. She reached out and touched my hair, stroked it softly. "You have much to offer…your strength, your capacity for love, your tenacity. Eternity is a long time, Rosalie. Things will change for you. There is a wide world out there for you to see. Since I became vampire, I have learned so much, seen beautiful things that I never thought I would." Her hand drifted down to rest on my cheek. "And I have found love in so many unexpected places." Her golden eyes rested on mine. There was only love there, no trace of the anger that I thought she'd have toward me.

My throat felt tight. I was tired of showing everyone my emotions, so I choked back the tears that threatened to well up again. I just nodded. I knew she was telling me that she loved me. And I knew I loved her too.

Esme leaned forward and embraced me tightly. "This is your home, Rosalie. We are your family, and we will stand by you through all of this. All of us will." Her voice was steely, and I knew she was unhappy with Edward. That made me a little happier.

"I'm going to go talk to Edward now." She gestured to the room around her and said, "Why don't you look around? You've had very little time to yourself since the change. Explore. Everything here is yours." She got up and swept out the door, beautiful and graceful in spite of the torn and dirty skirt she was wearing.

I just continued to sit. I have to admit, I was quite curious as to what she'd say to Edward. The smug look he'd given me as I left the room with Esme made me believe that he thought he'd get off easy for what happened in the woods. I'd seen the steely look she'd had when she promised they'd all help me. I had a feeling he was in for a surprise, in spite of the fact that he could read thoughts.

I listened. They were many rooms away, but I could hear them as clearly as if I were in the same room.

"Esme, I know you're unhappy. I can see what you're thinking. I just can't understand why you are so attached to this girl. She's not the person you are. Not by a long shot."

"Your problem, Edward, is that you seem to think your abilities make you omniscient." Esme's tone was one I hadn't heard before. She wasn't angry, but she was definitely annoyed. "You don't understand how I feel or how Rosalie feels. You've seen me suffer, you've seen my memories, you've seen what happened to her. You probably know more of the details of both our ordeals better than we do. But you don't understand what really happened to Rosalie on that street. Not like I do."

"Esme, I…"

"Edward, I don't really want to hear it. Rosalie was wrong to hurt you. I know that."

"You didn't say anything like that to her."

"No, I didn't. That's not the most important thing that happened in the woods. You are healing. You will bear no scars of any sort from what happened this morning. Do you think Rosalie will be that lucky?"

Edward didn't respond.

"You need to understand that no matter how you felt about Rosalie when she was human, that person is gone. Had she survived the ordeal as a human, she would still be completely different. All those things that I've heard you say about Rosalie Hale, her conceit, her shallowness, her…bitchiness, I believe you called it, those were lost on that street. Maybe you should get to know your sister as she is now, and not hold that against her. Now, I have to change. I need to get to City Hall and apologize to the mayor. He's a parent. Hopefully, he'll understand."

I heard Esme's footsteps leave the room, Edward's sigh echoing after her.

I was alone.

I got up from the rug and wandered aimlessly around the room. It was lined with books, oil paintings, maps. I ran my finger over the spines of the books on the shelf. I picked one out at random and opened it to read. Tess of the d'Urbervilles. How appropriate, I thought, as I settled in to read my own story from a different point of view.

The afternoon passed silently. Edward didn't seek my company, and I hadn't expected him to. I read much faster than I had as a human. I was less distractible, even though I was getting seriously annoyed with Tess and her weak behavior. "Grow a spine," I growled under my breath. I knew she eventually would, in the end, but the mooning and pining and doing what everyone expected of her, no matter what the cost to herself…really annoying. And so very familiar.

"My spine is sufficient, thank you." Edward's voice came from the doorway. Strange that I didn't hear him come in, I thought to myself.

"How is your arm?" I asked, noticing that his sling was gone.

"Good as new." He chuckled and flexed his fingers on that hand. "I might even play the piano again. Nice move, by the way. You had me pinned before I knew what was happening."

"Thanks, I guess." I was wary of his friendly advances, knowing that he was just trying to please Esme.

"Maybe I am," Edward said softly, "But she's right. About a great many things. She never got very far in school while she was alive, but she's more than made up for it since her death, I think. She's educated herself and become very, very wise."

"I don't think her wisdom has much to do with the books she's read or the degrees she's gotten." He pissed me off assuming that she'd learned what she knew from books.

He nodded. "She's certainly right that I can't understand how either of you feel, having been abused in such terrible ways. I'm sorry that I ever assumed that I did. I was wrong."

I blinked. What the hell? I thought. Edward Cullen admitting he was wrong?

He smiled again. "Not about everything. Just about this."

I had been wrong, too. Edward wasn't a danger to me, and that's not really why I tore him apart.

"I know, Rosalie. You were carried away."

"You know, everyone knows about the whole mind-reading thing. You could let people choose what they want to say before you interrupt." He was pissing me off doing that.

"Of course. I'm sorry." He hesitated for a moment. "I think I interrupted you this morning before you were done with everything that you wanted to do."

Duh, I thought. Royce was still alive wasn't he?

Edward pretended that he hadn't heard me. "I think you had intentions of getting your wedding dress?"

I nodded, surprised that he'd even remember that. I suddenly noticed that there was a rather large bundle at his feet.

"I took the liberty. I'm not sure why you'd want it. You probably have plans for it?"

I nodded.

"Well, here it is. Everyone was still at the church, so I slipped into your house. It was hanging in your closet. I probably should have asked if there was anything else you wanted, but I wanted this to be a surprise. We can go back sometime if there's anything you need."

"There isn't." I was touched by what he'd done for me. "Edward, I…I shouldn't have hurt you this morning. And…thank you for the dress." I felt suddenly awkward. I didn't know how to be nice to him.

He gave a little head jerk and ran his hand through his hair. "So…what are you reading?"

I looked down at the book. I'd continued to read for an hour or two, even though I'd lost patience with the storyline and the characters. "Tess of the d'Urbervilles."

"Interesting choice. I would have thought you wouldn't be interested in that. She seems too weak for you."

"Did you pick that out of my thoughts?"

He laughed. "No. You must have thought that while I was out getting your dress."

I smiled a little. It felt strange on my new face.

He hesitated for a moment, the smile slowly fading from his face. "I know you probably heard what Esme said." He looked at me from the corner of his eye. I didn't deny or confirm what he'd said, so he went on, "She's right of course. About me. I have been holding who you were when you were human against you. And I have assumed that I knew how Esme felt about things because I could see her thoughts. I was seeing you as that same spoiled girl you used to be. And I know that Esme's been thinking about her own situation much more lately, more than she has in years. So I was looking at your presence as…hurtful to her. Since I didn't like you as a human, I was seeing someone I didn't like hurting someone I loved. I was wrong on all points."

I was stunned. Edward Cullen admitting he was wrong and apologizing for it? Being honest about not liking me? Surreal.

I knew he'd heard my thought, but he didn't respond to it. "Esme's right. I can't possibly know how it feels for either of you. And I should get to know you without holding your human self against you."

"I appreciate that, Edward," I said softly.

We sat in silence for a while, neither one of us adjusting well to the new peace between us.

"Esme has a lot of faith in you," Edward said. "She has a lot of faith in me, too. We should try not to let her down." He reached out a hand toward me as if to shake on it. I looked at it for a while and finally reached out my own. "Gently, now," he said, and chuckled. I realized it was the same arm I'd ripped off that morning. I laughed for the first time. It sounded like the bells at church, and I felt the momentary lightness ebb away from me.

"This is much harder on you than I'd realized." Edward's eyes were sad as they looked into mine. "I have always had a great deal of respect for women. I was very close to my mother. She died in the influenza epidemic that would have killed me, had Carlisle not turned me. She asked Carlisle to turn me. I don't think she could bear the thought that my life would be cut so short. I still miss her. I think we all have our crosses to bear, remnants of our human lives that haunt us. Carlisle has been vampire for centuries, but he still, on some level, wants to prove to his father that he isn't evil, that even vampires can create some good in the world. We all have our ghosts."

"How long have you known Carlisle?"

"I was the first one he turned, in 1918. We have been together…almost ever since."

"Almost?"

"I have been away, until fairly recently. Carlisle and Esme covered my absence by saying I was away at college, but I was living…more naturally."

I was confused, and waited for him to explain.

"Living on animals is difficult at times. Our bodies really aren't made for it, and I began to question why it is we live as we do. So I left for a time to feed in a more natural way."

I was shocked, realizing suddenly what he meant. "So you…fed from humans?"

"For a time, yes. It was difficult for me. I selected prey who…were dangerous. Your fiancé and his friends would have been ideal for me."

I sat for a while, stunned at what he was telling me. "Carlisle and Esme realize that I must have fed. My eyes have faded now, but they are still a little darker than theirs. When I came back, they were red, much like yours. They don't talk about it, though, and they don't judge me for it. They are very forgiving people."

My mind was racing. Could I do what Edward had done? Could I kill those men and feed from them? It would be easy, of course, to give in to those impulses. Even the faint scent of the mourners on the breeze was tantalizing. I could only imagine how strong it would be if I were to be in the same room with humans.

"It would be impossible to resist," Edward said softly, not even turning to look in my direction. "And would you want any more of those…humans…inside you?" His voice took on a bitter edge.

And he was right. The thought of their blood inside my body turned my stomach. Human blood or not, theirs was polluted. And I wanted no part of it.

"I want them dead, Edward," I said softly.

"I know. I can't say that I don't want the same thing. But you are a newborn. This isn't something that you can do."

"Not alone. You hurt me this morning, but you kept me from going down to that funeral when I shouldn't. You could help me."

"Rosalie, if you were in town, you would be a danger to everyone there. And you'd be a danger to us…you'd expose us all."

"But if I'd fed…this morning I could smell the blood on the breeze, and I resisted. I did, Edward."

"I know, Rose, but this would be very close, from every direction, close enough to feel the pulse beating in the neck, the heat rising from live flesh…"

Flames suddenly lit up the inside of my throat, and I clawed at it.

"Just hearing me describe it is too much for you. How would you manage?"

I struggled to overcome the searing dryness in my throat. After a few moments, I beat it back to a level tolerable enough to speak. "I don't want them inside me. Never again. If I fed beforehand, came in at night when most people are asleep, went back ways and roads so that I didn't meet people…I might be able to manage it. If I had help."

I looked into his eyes, begging him for his help without words, playing instead for him what happened to me that night, showing him where these men lived and played, showing him the routes I could take that would keep me most away from the townspeople. I put into words my feelings and the depth of my hatred of these men. But I played it all in my head, moving pictures for him to view.

"Rosalie, I…" he choked over the words, overcome by his emotions.

"I need to do this, Edward. I don't think I can get over this as long as they're living. I just can't move on knowing that they're still out there, that they can still hurt other people, knowing that they can go on with their lives, and get married, and have children…" I broke off, unwilling to show that much emotion around Edward. Our truce was still too fresh.

"Carlisle and Esme won't approve," he said softly, horrified by what I knew would soon be an agreement to help me.

"They don't have to know," I said softly. "They want us to get along, and they want me to get better. This will help accomplish both."

"I don't think they'd want it to happen this way. Carlisle values all human life."

"Even lives spent as they've chosen? Edward, they raped me. They beat me."

Edward's long fingers raked against his cheeks. I could tell that he was caving, but the process was painful to watch. He was in agony, thinking about killing more people. I had to press my advantage, though. Even though I really didn't want to hurt him any more.

"They will do it again. You know they will."

"Carlisle thinks that it might have been temporary. That they might have been influenced by the presence of the incubus, like an infection."

"Even if that is true, who knows if the infection is permanent or not? What if it worsens, like syphilis? What if what they did to me is just the beginning?"

Clearly, that hadn't occurred to him. He looked at me, horrified.

"You can bring samples back for Carlisle. You could learn about it, find out if I'm right. No one really knows what the incubus does to humans…the males anyway. You could help him find out."

He was almost there, I could tell. Softly, I said, "I need this Edward. You know I do." I played for him the scene at my graveside…Royce, with my mother's arms wrapped around him. "I can't have him that near my mother ever again." The implication was thick in my voice. My mother was, after all, a beautiful woman. Who's to say Royce could resist?

"We will need to plan this thoroughly. You will have to listen to me, do exactly what I say without hesitation. It will take time."

"I will do whatever you say needs to be done," I said, not breathing until he gave me my answer.

He sighed deeply, and reached out to touch the thin place where he'd ripped my hair that morning.

"I will help you, then, in any way I can. For now, I think you and I should hunt. I know your thirst is bothering you." The flames renewed themselves. I nodded. My throat was too dry to speak.

Edward and I stepped out into the daylight. The sparkling skin was not something I could get easily used to, but we were both so beautiful that it was difficult not to look. We didn't run, preferring to walk. We were beginning to get somewhat used to one another's presence. I wondered if we'd ever actually like one another. Edward didn't respond to my thought. I'm sure he wondered the same thing.

"Thank you, Edward," I said. "I know…I know I'm not the easiest person to be with. I never have been. I'm….spoiled."

"You're welcome. I'm not really an easy person either. I have my own things I've never gotten over. I have a temper, same as you. I think people are more willing to accept it from a man than a woman. Aggression in women is…discouraged. I find it distasteful myself."

"You could make it easier to avoid, then." I was getting pissed at him again.

"I'm sorry. I'm just being honest. I think it's something that I can get over. I think it's something I should get over. Strength can some in all varieties, I suppose. Why should you be required to be just like Esme?"

"I couldn't be like Esme. We're different people. We've just been through similar things." God, I hope nobody expected me to be like Esme. That would be an impossible road for me. "I wasn't soft like that when I was alive, either. I don't mean that in a bad way," I added quickly, sensing Edward's displeasure in the implied criticism. "I love Esme. I'm just not like her."

"Really, who is? I've never known anyone who so put others before herself."

"She's very different from my mother. She would never…could never…deal with what really happened. She's not good with feelings. No wonder…" I faded off, unwilling to finish my sentence. No wonder I was such a mess, I thought, knowing Edward would hear.

"I'm really very sorry about this morning. My language, pulling your hair like that. It was very wrong. I let my temper get carried away. Sometimes I wonder if consuming the blood of those men has damaged me in some way. Other than the guilt I have from killing people, from knowing that I have the soul of a murderer…" It was his turn to trail off what he was saying.

"I don't think that's true, Edward. I…I think you're a good person. A good person who's done bad things."

"You don't feel that way about the men who hurt you," he said bluntly. "You think they deserve extermination. Why do I deserve anything different?"

"You helped people by taking those men off the streets. You knew what they were capable of. You knew their thoughts."

"I am not supposed to judge. I'm not…worthy. I'm not good," he was beginning to have a desperate edge to his voice.

"If I'd killed the men who were attacking me, if I'd been able to do so as a human, would that have made me evil?" I was beginning to worry he'd go back on our agreement.

"But these men weren't attacking me."

"What were they thinking when you made the decision to take them?" I asked, knowing that Edward would have made damn sure that they were bad people, not people having errant thoughts.

"Different things. I tried to be sure that they were about to harm someone, women or children mostly."

"So, they weren't just thinking something, they were getting ready to act?" I said

He nodded.

"Then what's the harm? You killed someone who was going to kill or hurt someone innocent. Some people would think that made you a hero. I do." I was surprised to find that I actually meant that, that I wasn't just saying it to manipulate him into going through with what he'd promised me in the study.

"I think you're biased, but thank you nonetheless. I can't consider myself a hero for taking a life, though." Edward was silent for a long time, and we eventually found ourselves deep in the woods. Even walking, we were very fast.

"What creatures do you like to feed from?" I asked.

"I like mountain lions, but they're not as common here. I was impressed that you took a coyote. They're pretty skittish."

I smiled, surprised at the praise. "Are you thirsty?" I asked. "Or are you just making sure that I don't run over to Rochester and do what comes naturally?" I winked.

He laughed. "No, I'm a little thirsty. I don't need much, but a little snack would be nice."

We sniffed the air together, trying to pinpoint our prey. My mouth was dry, but I smelled the irresistible smell of a predator near the stream just east. "Are you ready, Edward?"

"Let's hunt," he said, and we launched ourselves into the woods.